


Caught up in a dream

by emmadilla



Series: Fallout AU [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anxiety, Blindfolds, Bondage, Choking, Daddy Kink, Deepthroating, Dimension Travel, Dirty Talk, Edgeplay, Fingerfucking, Grief/Mourning, Light Angst, Multi, Nick Valentine has a penis, Nick Valentine talks dirty, Nick with a dick, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Penis In Vagina Sex, Platonic Bed Sharing, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Safewords, Sex, Spanking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-05-21 02:21:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 168,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14906534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmadilla/pseuds/emmadilla
Summary: Feeling my way through the darkness/guided by a beating heart/I can't tell where the journey will end/But I know where to start ...Lia is just an ordinary woman, given an extraordinary chance. Upon waking up one morning to find herself not in her apartment, but in the world of Fallout, she knows she must do everything to ensure a better future for the people of the Commonwealth and the familiar characters she considers her friends.





	1. Welcome to the New Age

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been plotting this out for a while and finally got everything to a point where I was ready to start writing. Yay! :)
> 
> Please note, this story and these chapters are heavily influenced by certain songs, and so I highly recommend you give them a listen either before or while you read. The title of the story as a whole is from the song "Wake me up" by Avicii (RIP).

 

_I'm waking up to ash and dust,_  


_I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust,_

_I'm breathing in the chemicals ..._

 

_... This is it, the apocalypse_

 

_~~ "Radioactive", Imagine Dragons_

 

 

\---------

 

I must have been sleeping hard that night, somewhat unusual unless I took medicine to help me sleep and I didn’t remember popping any pills before bedtime, but I must have because I didn’t usually have so much trouble waking up. I wasn’t exactly an energetic, greet the day, happy and cheerful morning person, but once I was awake I was awake and there was no going back. I just couldn’t bring myself to move just yet, though, as I shoved myself back into sleep, dozing heavily until something unexpected and wet brushed against my face, making my eyes pop open.

 

The first thing that my eyes settled on was big and brown, but that’s only because the subject was standing far too close, and once it retreated a few steps I realized that it was a dog. A very large dog. A German Shepherd, to be exact, which was exceedingly strange as my apartment didn’t allow animals. It was then that I realized that I wasn’t safe and sound in my studio digs, I was in a chilly, run down storefront, behind the counter, sleeping on an extremely questionable looking mattress. I immediately scuttled off of it, my backside and bare feet hitting what was left of the hard linoleum floor as I took in the rest of my surroundings. I looked around carefully, the place somehow familiar but the alarm bells were ringing so loud in my head I couldn’t focus on what exactly made it familiar and why I wanted to recognize it. I put my hand on top of the desk beside me to try to hoist myself up to my feet, but I immediately withdrew it as the furniture was caked with a thick layer of dust. Not wanting to soil my sleep clothes - a loose white t-shirt and a pair of black capri leggings - I set my hand back on the desk and pulled myself to standing before I brushed my hands off.

 

With the change in perspective, it was a little easier to see what all was around me, but there still wasn’t much of note. Just a run down, ramshackle building with a large window that encompassed the front of it and … gas pumps outside? Something definitely wasn’t stirring the kool-aid here … just where was I? I was clearly not in my apartment, and the surroundings didn’t quite look like Winnipeg. But where was I? And how did I get here? My gaze flicked over to the dog sitting there, just panting contentedly. “Any ideas, doggy?” He stopped panting and cocked his head, but I chuckled as I wasn’t exactly sure what I was expecting from the canine.

 

I had to be careful where I stepped, as I was barefoot, but I was able to navigate myself out of the little ramshackle store and when I got a chance to look around, my jaw dropped as it hit me in the face. There, just off to the right of the doorway, was the almost iconic Red Rocket sign. _No. No, it can’t be, it just can’t._ I hustled out of the doorway and backed up, taking in the entire building and … sure enough, right there on the roof was the red rocket that gave the franchise its namesake. _But if this is a Red Rocket station, then …_ my eyes lowered to the doorway I’d just left, where the dog was currently standing. I swallowed hard, looking between him and the rocket on the roof before I tentatively called out, “Dogmeat?”

 

He whined happily and wagged his tail, almost grinning with the way he panted.

 

_Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking what the fuck._ This didn’t make any sense, none of it made any sense. Fallout was a video game! It wasn’t _real_! But this, this felt real, just as real as anything else felt while I was conscious. Did that mean I was hallucinating? Did hallucinations feel like this? I hadn’t had any personal experience with them, so I couldn’t say. But something in me knew … it knew that this was real, that I really was somehow in the Commonwealth, just outside of Sanctuary, at the Red Rocket station, with Dogmeat. It was incomprehensible to me how this happened. I mean, it wasn’t like I was a scientist or super into technology and all its possibilities - I was just a retail shop manager, after all - but this didn’t really seem like something that was possible. Possible or not, though, from all outward appearances it would seem like I was indeed here. Denying it wasn’t going to get me anywhere, and neither was trying to figure out the hows and whys and wherefores. Knowing where I was now, my blood turned cold and I whipped around, trying to see if I saw anyone around. The post-apocalyptic wasteland was not exactly friendly, and I not only had no weapons, no supplies, and no skills, I didn’t even have any damn shoes. _Talk about hardcore survival mode. Fuck me._

 

I knew, from experience, that I wasn’t going to find a whole lot of worth at the Red Rocket. At least, not for me. And of the few things that might be helpful, I didn’t have a bag or any way of carrying anything except for my hands, and nothing says “rob and murder me, please” like someone with just a bunch of shit in their arms. My best option, therefore, was to make my way to Sanctuary and salvage what I could from there. Hell, maybe I could find a damn pair of shoes. I was hoping that perhaps there was a little more to loot than the video game would suggest, but maybe that was just being overly optimistic. Either way, I couldn’t stay there. There wasn’t any good source of supplies, no water, and shelter was limited. And, if memory served correctly, there was an infestation of mole rats that could pop up literally at any time, and so moving on quickly was really my best option. Looking around nervously, I patted my thigh and called out, “C’mon, Dogmeat, come with me.”

 

He barked and bounded out of the building to follow me, tail wagging, and I internally breathed a sigh of relief. I had a feeling that I was going to need him with me, and I was ecstatic that he was happy to come with me. He followed alongside me and rarely wandered far, just sniffing as we walked up the road. I gulped as I ignored the rotting carcasses of a man and a feral dog, covering my nose with my shirt to at least try to block out some of the smell. I wasn’t super successful in that regard, but I gave them as wide a berth as I could as I walked around them and over the rickety wooden bridge that lead to the dilapidated housing development.

 

Though, surprisingly, it wasn’t quite as dilapidated as I’d thought it would be. It wasn’t pristine, of course, but not all of the houses were as run down and ruined as I remembered. While they weren’t completely rebuilt, they looked quite sturdy. Had this place already been settled? When exactly had I come in? After all, there was no guarantee that I’d come in at the beginning of when Fallout 4 would start. Maybe, with any luck, Preston Garvey and company was already here. That hope propelled me forward even faster, knowing I could depend on Preston’s kindness to help me.

 

I should have known better, though, as the further I walked into the development, the more obvious it became that it was completely abandoned. The silence was almost deafening, in a way, the only thing to break it up being a slight breeze rustling through the sparse trees. Shit, I wouldn’t have been surprised to see a tumbleweed or two rolling through the street, but those weren’t to be found in the greater Boston area. I paused in the middle of the street, completely unsure of what to do at the moment. I needed to be careful going through any of the houses, in case of nails or splinters, but I also knew there was a good possibility that some of them had irradiated bugs in them and that prospect made me shudder. So what did I do? Just let Dogmeat take care of them? What if they came after me? It wouldn’t do to run screaming out of Sanctuary and run right into a raider camp, but what was I supposed to do instead, flail my arms and hope they didn’t hurt me too badly? _Is this really what I’m about to do right now?_

 

Fortunately, I was saved from my extremely ill-conceived plan by a whirring and a flash of metal careening out of the house to the left of me. I startled and whirled around to follow it, and I recognized the little metal robot that had come bobbing along. I think we must have seen each other at the same time, as he stopped and took stock of what must have been a bit of a strange sight. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m afraid I wasn’t expecting any company. Pardon my manners!” he blustered as he started bobbing toward me, intent on welcoming what was probably his first non-hostile human interaction in … well, a long time. I didn’t want to put an exact time stamp on it just yet, but it was starting to all come together for me.

 

“Codsworth?” I asked, and he stuttered in place.

 

“Y-yes. How did you know my name, Miss …”

 

“Lia,” I replied automatically. “My name’s Lia and I … I know you.”

 

“Pardon, but I don’t recall our meeting. Oh dear, my memory processors must have taken a hit! I knew I shouldn’t have ventured off to Concord, I just knew it was a bad idea …”

 

“Hey, Codsworth, stay with me, pal,” I cooed at him, trying to get the poor robot to calm down. He could be an invaluable ally, and was also just an all around cool little dude, and I didn’t want to unnecessarily stress him out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. We haven’t actually met before, but .. I just … I know you. I know _of_ you. And I know of Nate and Nora and Shaun, and …” Something hit me, then, out of the blue, and I had to know … “Codsworth, what’s the date?”

 

“The date? Well, the ol’ chronometer’s taken a bit of a beating, but I believe it is October 23rd of the year 2287.”

 

All breath felt like it left me for just a second. Today was October 23rd, the day Nate or Nora would wake up and walk out of the vault and set off on a mission that would affect the future of the entire Commonwealth, for good or for ill. It was a story I had played out myself many different times, in many different ways, and while I had always enjoyed it, it had always bugged me that there hadn’t been a better solution, one where the people of the Commonwealth truly benefitted. No matter how many times _I_ played, the Sole Survivor operated without any knowledge of what was to come, no ideas of how to shape it to maximize the benefit of the results. But … I _was_ here now, I was here with all of this knowledge as to how everything would play out and how it could be better and I could have a hand in all of it.

 

If they believed me, that is. They could simply take me as a rambling, raving lunatic. I would have to try to convince them, somehow, if only because this wasteland could be so much better and everyone could end up better because of it. I had to try, I just had to. I thought of all the characters I could potentially save … Glory, High Rise, Danse, DiMA, and so many others … they all depended on me now, even though they didn’t know me, didn’t even know I existed. I had to help them, because despite the fact that I didn’t physically know them, I _knew_ them. I knew their stories, their struggles, their triumphs and their losses. While I didn’t know every single little thing, like what their favourite colour was or their favourite food, I could probably sit them down and recite their life story back to them almost verbatim what they would tell the Sole Survivor.

 

It was then I knew … I knew how I could do this, or at least how I could convince at least some of them to go along with me. I simply had to wait for the Sole Survivor to appear, either Nate or Nora, whichever happened to be the one to survive.

 

Codsworth, ever the gentleman robot, offered what refreshments he could salvage from the surrounding area, but I politely declined. Not that I didn’t trust him, but perhaps Nate or Nora would have a better discerning eye when it came to edibles. Instead, I sat in the Sole Survivor’s driveway cross-legged, petting Dogmeat when he laid down beside me and casually chatting with Codsworth as I tried to keep as warm as I could in the chilly autumn air. The poor robot was very obviously interaction and conversation starved, and eager to talk about any and everything possible, and I was more than happy to let him. In the game, he’d always held a special spot in my heart, kind of like if Dogmeat was a hovering robot that could talk. I wasn’t sure exactly how long it would take the Sole Survivor to wake up and make their way through the Vault, but I wasn’t waiting too long. It probably wasn’t but about half an hour later that I heard a boot scrape against pavement and I turned anxiously to see a dazed and confusing figure dressed in blue. It seemed that Nora had been the one to eat the bullet as it was Nate that stumbled toward us, a pack slung on his back and what I knew was a 10mm pistol in his hand. I knew the type not from sight but simply from the knowledge that there was only that type of gun available in the Vault, aside from the Cryolator, but that was stashed behind a Master level lock that I doubted Nate would be able to crack just yet. He hadn’t even seen Codsworth and Dogmeat and I just yet, his eyes wandering like he was stuck in a daze, and so I stood and called out to him. “Nate?”

 

That pulled him back to reality, as his eyes snapped to me and narrowed slightly, not in a threatening way more of like, _who the hell are you_ kind of way.

 

Codsworth was, of course, beside himself. “Master Nate! Oh how good it is to see you after all this time. I say, where’s the Missus and Shaun?”

 

Nate opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, like he wasn’t sure how to say what all had happened, and I decided to intervene. “Codsworth, Nora’s … Nora’s gone. And Shaun’s been kidnapped.”

 

“What?” Nate exclaimed, surprised. “How do you know?” He raised his gun and pointed it directly at me as he demanded, “Are you one of them?”

 

_Oh shit, fuck, this was maybe not such a good idea._ I raised my hands to show I wasn’t armed as I tried to maintain a calm demeanour. “No, I’m not one of them, but I do know who they are and where they took Shaun.”

 

Nate’s posture relaxed a little, but not fully as he kept his gun still trained on my chest. “Where is he?”

 

I took a deep breath. “It’s a little more complicated than just a location, Nate, trust me. This crusade to save your son, it can potentially change the face of the entire Commonwealth. I can help you make sure it’s for the good for _everybody_ , including you.”

 

“And my son.”

 

I nodded, ignoring the technicality for now. “You just have to trust me and I can tell you exactly how everything is going to play out. I can help you plan your steps before you even know where you’re going, tell you of what to expect and how to prepare.”

 

His eyes narrowed a little more. “How do you know all of this?”

 

“It’s …” I sighed, “… it’s complicated. I’ll explain it as best I can later, but right now you’re needed in Concord.”

 

“What’s in Concord?”

 

“A group of settlers are pinned down by raiders in the Museum of Freedom, and the last Minuteman needs your help. And, you’re going to need his before all this is through. He can help you with getting Shaun back, and with rebuilding.”

 

He took a deep breath through his nose, likely going through all the options in his head. “And why should I trust you?”

 

I was going to have to fudge this a little bit, but I figured it was all for the greater good. “Because I want to see you reunited with your son, and I want a better future for everyone. This is our chance, Nate, a chance to make this little corner of the world better. The world may have gone to hell, but that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.”

 

I could see his jaw clench and unclench as he pondered it, actually giving it some serious thought before he responded. “Tell me where Shaun is and then I’ll go to Concord. After that … I can’t make any promises, but we’ll see.”

 

Well, it wasn’t no, and that meant I had a chance. And I was gonna be goddamned if I didn’t take it. “Shaun was taken by an organization called the Institute.” I paused, not wanting to tell him everything just yet, but not wanting to hide certain things from him, either. I had to time this just right … tell him too early, and he’d think I was insane. But wait too long, and he’d be angry and possibly not listen to me at all. I compromised by saying, instead, “Like I said, it’s a little more complicated than simply _where_ he was taken, but I can explain everything about what’s happened when you’re ready to listen. For now, Preston Garvey needs your help.”

 

Nate finally lowered his gun. “Who’s Preston Garvey?”

 

“The last Minuteman. He’s making his final stand in the Museum of Freedom right now, trying to protect a small group of four settlers from a pack of raiders.”

 

He nodded, looking off into the distance. “I guess I’d better get going, then.”

 

“Before you leave,” I quickly started, wanting to give him as much an advantage as I could, and also trying to give him reasons to listen to me, “getting into the Museum of Freedom is going to be the easy part. Once you get inside and get to the large set of stairs, go down first and grab the fusion core. There’s a set of T-45 power armour on the roof and you’ll need that fusion core to power it.” I shrugged. “No reason to go back down for it if you don’t have to.”

 

He hesitated in his step for just a moment as he slowly nodded. “Thanks.”

 

“Oh! And be careful of the deathclaw.”

 

“Deathclaw? What the fuck is a deathclaw?”

 

_Eh, honesty is the best policy, right?_ “It’s a giant mutated lizard creature that will try to rip your head off. It won’t emerge until after you get the power armour, just be careful and feed as many bullets into it as you can. The minigun will help.”

 

He nodded. “Right. So, if I actually survive this little venture and make it back here, just who should I tell this Preston Garvey to thank?”

 

I chuckled. “My name’s Lia.”

 

“Lia. Alright, then. Hopefully I’ll be seeing you again.”

 

“You will.” I bit my lip for a second, torn over whether or not to offer this, but deciding to go for it anyway. “Take Dogmeat with you.”

 

The dog beside me perked up, his tail starting to wag as he panted excitedly. Nate looked at him curiously. “Dogmeat?”

 

I nodded, reaching down to scritch his ears. “He’s a good dog, he can help you. Just … just keep him inside the museum once you get in there. Just in case …”

 

Nate shrugged. “Fuck it, guess I might as well.” Looking at the dog, he asked, “You wanna come with me, boy?”

 

Dogmeat barked excitedly and bounded over to his side, sniffing his fingers and wagging his tail as he looked at him like, _Where are we going and can we leave yet?_

 

Nate chuckled as he patted his head. “I guess that’s my answer.” He glanced back at me and it seemed like he finally realized that I was wearing essentially very little, considering the cool weather, and he asked, “Aren’t you cold?”

 

I crossed my arms over my chest to suppress the growing shiver. My feet had long gone numb, but I’d known there wasn’t anything I could do about it, at least not for a while. While the weather was a little milder than I would have thought late October would be in the Boston area, it was still on the chilly side. I may have been Canadian and therefore more or less used to cold weather, but I wasn’t immune to it. My cheeks flushed as I looked down and mumbled, “Yeah. Don’t really have anything else, though.”

 

It was his next actions in which I knew this Nate could be trusted to do the right thing. Dropping his pack to the ground, he knelt and rustled through it, pulling out a pair of boots, a thick pair of socks, and a very familiar blue jumpsuit. “I’m not really sure why I took these from the Vault before I left, but I figured I could either barter with them or use them for something.” He stood and offered the bundle to me, his expression softened. “You might as well get some use out of them.”

 

Touched by his gesture - and also excited as hell to have my own Vault 111 jumpsuit - I took the bundle from him and smiled as I said, “Thank you.”

 

He smirked and ribbed me with, “If you’re gonna help me get Shaun back, I can’t have you dying of pneumonia.”

 

I chuckled. “Good point. Now go, please, before the raiders get to them.”

 

He gave me a casual salute as he walked off down the road, Dogmeat at his side. I watched as they crossed over the bridge, my heart clenching just a little as they turned the corner that the road lead them around and then they were gone, disappeared behind a hill. And I was left behind, clutching a bundle of clothes, with a floating robot by my side. Holy fuck had my life taken a weird left turn this morning.

 

I took a deep breath, trying to quell the rising anxiety that was trying to settle in. I was actually surprised it hadn’t cropped up earlier, as my disordered brain was often want to do, but I supposed perhaps shock had settled in and prevented my brain from overworking too much until now. I bit my lip as I still stood there, willing myself to not go into a panic attack as Codsworth’s lightly accented, slightly tinny voice said, “Don’t worry, Miss Lia, I’m sure they will be perfectly fine. Master Nate was a fabulous marksman in the Army, he is more than capable of taking care of himself.”

 

“I know, Codsworth, I just …” My throat tightened up as things finally seemed to _really_ settle in. This wasn’t a video game anymore, if something happened I couldn’t just reload a save. Everything that happened was final and concrete and the consequences would have to be lived with no matter what it was. What I was going to attempt to do … it was a big fucking deal. If I failed, then I potentially doomed the people of the Commonwealth. But if I succeeded … well, might as well not get too ahead of myself. There was a lot to do yet, a lot of things to thoroughly think out, a lot of moves to think ahead on and carefully plan out. For now, though, the only thing I could do was wait. Well, wait and get dressed. Two things.

 

I was about to ask Codsworth if I could use Nate’s house to change in, when I realized that no one else was around so it didn’t really matter if I changed outside or not. _Fuck it._ I shucked my shirt and leggings, grateful I slept in a bralette so I at least had a little support before I tugged on the soft jumpsuit. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, as far as comfort went, but the inside was as soft as butter and despite the thin material I was already feeling warmer. _Must be insulated or something. Nice._ Of course, I should have figured that this amazing future tech material would adjust to the environment, and I was extremely grateful for it as I pulled on the socks and shoes. The boots were a little on the big side, but the thick socks helped with that. All in all, it was almost a miracle that everything fit as well as it did, despite the shoes being a little on the big side and the jumpsuit a little on the small side. It wasn’t uncomfortably tight, and maybe it was simply the design, but it seemed awfully tight on me. I wasn’t really overly endowed up top - a small c cup at best, if I was being honest - but I ended up having to leave the zipper down almost at my bra line because otherwise the zipper felt like it was close to being pulled apart, especially if I were to take a deep breath. Beggars couldn’t be too picky, however, and I was already warming up quite nicely, so I figured a slightly ill-fitting suit was worth it.

 

With the feeling slowly returning to my numb legs, I gathered my leftover clothes in my arms and simply stood there fidgeting, shifting my weight from one leg to another, unsure of what to do with myself for the moment. I was too anxious now to sit down anymore, and I ended up pacing in the street outside Nate’s house, unable to do anything else except wait and just try not to think about what was happening just a relatively short distance away. I was brought to a halt only when a loud roar echoed off in the distance, and I spun around in horror, knowing what that meant. The deathclaw was now in play. My heart jumped up into my throat as it pounded away. Codsworth hovered next to me as he commented, “That does not sound very good.”

 

I shook my head and muttered under my breath. “Fuck, what have I done? Codsworth, what if they don’t make it?” Panic started tightening around my throat, threatening to choke me as I worked just to _breathe_ even though it was a struggle just to suck air in at all. The fact that I wasn’t there to see what was going on, to tell Nate where to move and when and where to shoot and what to do, that I had absolutely no control over the situation and how it was playing out … Why had I thought I could intervene? What if everything blew up in my face? How would I survive in this nuclear wasteland all on my lonesome? I had no food, no water, no survival skills, nada. The level of which I was potentially screwed came crashing down on me and I stumbled backwards slightly as my vision got spotty and remembering just a basic, slow, even _in and out_ rhythm for breathing was difficult.

 

Cold metal clamped over my wrist, and I felt something solid support me behind my back. “Miss Lia, you need to sit down. Come, over here …” Codsworth led me a few steps to the yard and helped me sit, hovering beside me as I sat there, rocking slightly as I tried like hell to calm myself down. I wrapped my arms around myself and closed my eyes, slowly counting and trying to time the numbers with my breath. _One … two … three … four … five …_ I squeezed my arms tighter around myself as I tried to block out everything else and just focus on the numbers. _Six … seven … eight … nine … ten …_ The rocking gradually slowed as I started to find a rhythm, and once I could see it I focused in on it like a laser. _Eleven … twelve … thirteen … fourteen … fifteen …_ My arms naturally loosened as I started coming down. I wasn’t completely calmed down, not yet, but I could feel it coming and that alone offered relief. _Sixteen … seventeen … eighteen … nineteen … twenty …_ I finally opened my eyes again. I was sitting completely still and slack, in Nate’s front yard. A soft breeze lifted a few strands of hair around me as I gave myself the best pep talk I could think of. _You have to remain calm, if you panic in this world, you could bite it, and you can’t do that, not yet. There are other people out here, people that are important, people that you love, and they’re all counting on you. You have to do this, you have to make it. You_ can _make it. You can do this._

 

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, silent and staring as I pulled myself together, but a metallic clunking sound pulled me out of my haze and I immediately stood up and whirled around to look for the source of the sound. I swallowed hard as I hoped against hope that it was what I thought it was, and when I finally saw that old, rusty suit of T-45 power armour round the corner near the Red Rocket, I felt like I could have floated away in relief. Nate did it, he made it, and behind him was Marcy and Jun Long, Mama Murphy, Sturges, and Preston Garvey bringing up the rear. Dogmeat wandered next to him, sometimes sticking close, other times wandering a little to have a sniff at something. As he saw me standing there waiting, he wagged his tail and took off at a little trot as if to say, _Hello! We just had quite the adventure!_

 

I chuckled as I offered him my hand to lick before I scritched his ears, loving the way he closed his eyes as if it was the best sensation in the world. I was so relieved that he had made it, that he had survived. Hell, that they’d _all_ survived. I’d done this particular quest so many times I could practically do it in my sleep, but knowing that it was real, now, that I was playing for keeps … the seriousness of the situation wasn’t lost on me. These weren’t just NPC’s and characters that I loved anymore, they were real, living, breathing human beings with their own thoughts and feelings and lives. I couldn’t let myself fall apart so easily. I had to have a clear head so I could act with precision, to save and better the lives of as many people as possible. And … potentially my life, considering I had no idea how I’d come to be here and how long I would stay. Maybe I would just be here long enough to guide Nate, or maybe I would stay forever. Whatever the case, I felt I had a duty, a responsibility to these people to help them.

 

Nate walked past me and stopped in his drive way, taking a moment to open up and dismount from his newly acquired power armour. He ran his fingers through his sweat dampened hair and regarded me for a moment before he simply stated, “I think we need to have a talk.”


	2. In the city that we love

_... If you close your eyes, _

_ Does it almost feel like _

_ You've been here before? _

_ ~~ "Pompeii", Bastille _

 

\---------

 

That was a hell of an understatement, but I nodded as if it was the simplest thing, to just sit down and explain in painful detail what was coming. But, as difficult as it was going to be, it needed to happen. Nate gestured toward the front door of his house and said, “After you, please.” He paused only long enough to turn and ask, “Preston, will you join us?” Then he was right on my heels, following me through the door and ushering me into the living room area. Preston Garvey wasn’t far behind us, closing the door behind him as he joined us. I wasn’t sure how the furniture wasn’t completely dilapidated by now, so I gingerly sat on the couch and just hoped that it wouldn’t break. Preston sat on the other end of the couch and Nate grabbed a chair from the kitchen, dragging it in front of the the couch before he sat down and rested his elbows on his knees. “Preston Garvey, as promised …” he gestured toward me, “this is Lia.”

 

“So you’re the one who sent Nate to us? Well, first off I want to thank you, but … how did you know we were there? And that we were in trouble?”

 

I sighed heavily. “It’s … complicated.”

 

Nate wasn’t hearing it anymore. “You’ve said that before, but I think I’m owed a little explanation as to how you seemed to know exactly what was going to happen and what I was going to need.”

 

Fair enough. “See, I … I’m not from here.”

 

“You from the Capitol Wasteland?” Garvey asked, and I chuckled.

 

“No, no, much further away than that. I’m … I’m from a whole other world. A … a different dimension? I guess you could say? In that world, the war never happened. I mean, it’s not like everything’s peaceful, but it’s not … like this,” I explained, gesturing around me.”

 

They didn’t quite look like they exactly bought it yet, and Nate spoke up. “So, if this is the case, then how do you know about us?”

 

“Because this world … the people, the places, and everything in it … is contained in and plays out inside a video game.”

 

Nate’s eyebrows furrowed. “A video game? What, like Atomic Command or Pipfall?”

 

I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. “Yeah, kind of, I guess. A lot more advanced, though. This story has been played and enjoyed by gamers all around our world. And … I’m one of them.” I paused as thought for a moment. “I can’t count how many times I’ve played, how many times I’ve worked through this story, how many different ways I’ve approached it. No matter what, though, the ending that we’re handed …” I sighed. “… I just think there was potential for it to be a whole lot better than it was. That if certain factions allied, and waited for the opportune moment, that everyone could come out on top in the end. The people of the Commonwealth could have some hope for the future, those outside major settlements could have some peace of mind, and even some that I know specifically of, they … they could end up in a lot better position than they do.” I bit my lip as I looked Nate directly in the eye, hoping he could sense my earnestness. “Even though this isn’t my world, I care about the people in it. And I know this could be a long shot, but I feel we should at least try.”

 

Silence enveloped us while they took in everything I said, and I began to get a little nervous that I just sounded like a rambling lunatic before Preston asked, “So what all do you know about us, and what do we need to know?”

 

I took a deep breath. “Well, for starters, there are four factions that will come into play, here. There’s the Minutemen, of course, and I told you about the Institute already.”

 

“The ones who have Shaun.”

 

I nodded. “Correct.”

 

Nate pursed his lips. “So we have one good and one bad so far. What are the other two?”

 

“The Railroad and the Brotherhood of Steel.”

 

“And how are they?”

 

“The Railroad are good. In fact, an alliance between them and the Minutemen would benefit both factions. The Railroad are concerned with rescuing synths, and once the Minutemen are rebuilt they can provide settlements for them to go to and also security to protect them.”

 

Nate’s brow furrowed. “What are synths?”

 

“Right, sorry, got a little ahead of myself.” I sighed. _C’mon, Lia, focus._ “Synth is short for synthetic humanoid. They’re made and used by the Institute.”

 

“So, they’re like robots?”

 

“The earlier ones are. Gen 1s are completely robotic, basically a personalized protectron, more or less. Gen 2s are covered in a synthetic type of skin, but their AI is still very limited. Gen 3s, however, are the ones that the Railroad want to save. They aren’t made with plastic or metal, they’re made of bone and muscle and blood. They have the consciousness of an adult human when they’re made, and aside from a neurological implant that the Institute uses to input commands and programming, they’re otherwise completely human.”

 

Nate seemed more intrigued by these revelations than anything else. “What does the Institute do with them?”

 

“Cheap labour, basically. They carry out duties that no one else wants to do and they do it for no compensation, other than a bed and food.”

 

“So, they’re slaves …”

 

My heart soared that Nate made the connection all on his own. “Yes, exactly. And that’s why the Railroad wants to help them. There’s someone inside the Institute that helps them escape, and then the Railroad takes them in, gets them surgery to change their appearance, and even implants new memories so they don’t have to live with the trauma of what happened to them.”

 

“What happens after, though?”

 

“That’s the thing. After they do all that, an agent escorts them somewhere and turns them loose.”

 

“All that trouble, and they can’t even assure them of safety once they’re done?”

 

I shrugged. “They get as much of a chance as anyone else in the Commonwealth.”

 

He nodded, and I gave him a moment to process everything that I’d said up to this point. Which, honestly, in the grand scheme of things, barely scratched the surface. But there was a helluva lot to go over, and I didn’t want to overwhelm him. We would probably spend days, weeks even going over everything. But if we could pull this off, it would all be worth it in the end. “So that’s where you think the Minutemen could help, then?”

 

Before I could even respond, Preston piped up. “Uh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, General, but you and I are pretty much it as far as the Minutemen go. I’ll do whatever I can to help, but I don’t think the two of us alone can do it.”

 

“You can’t,” I replied. “But you won’t need to.” I met Preston’s gaze and hoped I could comfort him in some way that this would get better, that this mission wasn’t as hopeless as he felt at the moment. “Nate can rebuild the Minutemen, recruit others, retake the Castle. Once we do that, we’ll be in a much better position to offer an alliance to the Railroad.”

 

“Makes sense,” Nate commented. “What about the Brotherhood of Steel?”

 

I sighed. “Unfortunately, most are likely far too dedicated to their cause to be swayed. There may be a couple we can swing to our side, but they won’t have the influence to command the Brotherhood.”

 

“What is the Brotherhood’s cause?”

 

“The accumulation of technology and the elimination of everything that isn’t human, whether good or bad. So, Super Mutants and feral ghouls are on their hit list … but also non-feral ghouls and synths.”

 

“Ah, I see,” Nate said with a tone that indicated he had the measure of them. “So what do we do about them?”

 

“They’ll need to be dealt with, preferably via non-lethal means. I believe if we could unite the Railroad, the Minutemen, and the Institute, then that would provide the leverage we’d need to send them packing.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait … you want to bring the Institute in on this? Why? What makes you think they’d join us?”

 

“This is … where it gets complicated again.” I rubbed my forehead and sighed, trying to figure out exactly how to tell Nate what he needed to hear. To his credit, though, he simply sat and waited on me instead of pushing me. Instead of telling him outright and shocking him too badly, I decided on a slightly different approach. “Nate, how long has it been since Shaun was kidnapped?”

 

Nate looked confused. “Why, don’t you know?”

 

“I do, I just want to know how long _you_ think it’s been.”

 

“Um, I’m not sure. Maybe a few days, tops, I guess. I mean, I know I fell asleep in that cryo chamber after it happened, but it couldn’t have been that long.” He looked back at me and asked, “Right?”

 

Poor Nate. The game had never really come out and say how long Nate had thought it had been since Nora had been killed and Shaun taken. When Nick told him about Kellogg and the kid in Diamond City, there was a dialogue option that expressed disbelief that Shaun could be as old as was implied, but there was also a dialogue option that insisted the kid must be Shaun. It offered a variety for the player, but it provided no real insight into what the character really thought. I shook my head as I tried to break the news to him as gently as possible. “Nate, you spent over 200 years in that cryo pod, and it didn’t seem that long, did it?”

 

He blanched and I realized that because I’d interrupted his potential conversation with Codsworth, he hadn’t been told exactly how long he’d been in the Vault. “200 years?”

 

I nodded. “210, to be exact. It’s October 23rd, 2287. So, if that length of time passed without you realizing it, it’s safe to say that it’s impossible to judge time when you’re in there.”

 

The gears were turning in his head, I could tell, and I hoped that it would help lessen the blow, though I knew I couldn’t spare him fully. “How long has it been, then, since Shaun was taken?”

 

I swallowed and took a small breath before I replied. “Sixty years.”

 

“What? Are you fucking kidding me?” he exclaimed, jumping to his feet and startling both Preston and I. He began to pace as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Sixty fucking years,” he muttered to himself. “Fuck.” I stayed silent, and so did Preston, giving Nate the opportunity to process the information however he needed to, no matter how awkward either of us felt. Which, judging by the glances Preston and I exchanged, we both wanted to be pretty much anywhere but Nate’s living room at the moment. He stopped in the middle of the living room, looking out the window, his hand over his mouth as he struggled to come to terms with the facts. After a few minutes, his hand dropped and he asked, “So Shaun’s been a prisoner of the Institute for sixty years, now?”

 

“Well, not exactly.”

 

“What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?”

 

“When the Institute took Shaun, it was when they were developing the Gen 3 synths. They were having difficulties making a breakthrough, and they needed human DNA to base it off of. Unfortunately, even their own DNA had been affected by the radiation that their ancestors had been exposed to, and so they needed to find an uncorrupted source.”

 

“But there were lots of people in the Vault, why not take any of them?”

 

“Because taking a baby reduces the risk that the person they chose was exposed to something in their lifetime, something that would negatively affect their DNA and thus the Third Generation Synth project.”

 

“I remember, the guy that … that shot Nora … he called me ‘the backup’.”

 

I nodded. “In the case that something happened to the infant, they wanted to make sure that they could access familial DNA.”

 

“And Nora?”

 

My eyes fell. “She … she just got in the way.”

 

Nate sat back down on the chair, hard, his shoulders sagging. “Then, it’s useless. My wife is dead and my son is an old man who’s been used as a lab rat his whole life.”

 

“He’s not a lab rat, Nate. After they used his genetic material, they raised him. Educated him. He rose through their ranks and he _runs_ the Institute now. He’s the one that triggered your release from the cryo pod.”

 

“He … he did?”

 

I nodded. “He might not hold all the same values as you do, since you didn’t get a chance to raise him, but he’s still your son, and you’re still his father.”

 

Nate sat back in the chair, likely sorting through all of the new information I had just thrown at him. It was a lot to unpack, and I was actually surprised we’d been able to get as far as we had. He sighed heavily, rubbing his face before he asked, “And that’s how you think the Institute will join us, then? That I can convince my son to join us?”

 

I shook my head. “No, your son has been raised in the Institute, their values are his and I don’t think you can bend them.”

 

“How, then?”

 

“This is … well, the second bit of bad news.”

 

“There’s _more_?”

 

“Sorry.” I genuinely was. I remembered my first time playing through the game, the gut punch that I’d felt when I discovered this information. If I experienced it just _playing_ it, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how Nate would take it actually _living_ it. After all, I wasn’t a parent. Never had been. So the emotional roller coaster that the Sole Survivor went through, while I could sympathize, I couldn’t accurately approximate the heartache and grief that they went through. Maybe I was pushing all this information on him too quickly, giving him too much to think about all at once. I didn’t _want_ to overwhelm him, but on the other hand, I was afraid that if I held anything back, things that he discovered later, that he would be angry with me and distrust anything else I told him. And that was something that I couldn’t risk happening.

 

He sighed and shook his head. “Lay it on me, then.”

 

I nodded. “Despite the Institute’s significant scientific advances, Shaun has developed an aggressive form of cancer. He’s dying.”

 

Nate was silent for a moment before he asked, “How long?”

 

The period of time was never really specified in game, but I could guesstimate, based on past experience. “I can’t say for sure, but … a couple of months, probably.” I let the information rest for a few minutes before I gently added, “I think it’s partly because of that he frees you from the cryo pod. He wants to die without regret, and he also wants to appoint you as successor, if you’re willing.”

 

“I see. So _that’s_ what you meant.”

 

“Yes. In game, if you don’t join the Institute at the expense of the other factions, you’re forced to blow it up. Besides the synths, they’ve made incredible advances in technology, advances that could potentially help all of the Commonwealth. Once you’re handed the reigns, all you’d have to do is appoint people in positions of power that will be sympathetic to the synth cause and sharing technology, which _can_ happen if we’re simply patient about letting it unfold, something that the game doesn’t allow you to do.”

 

“So I take over the organization that killed my wife and took my son _from_ said dying son.”

 

“Essentially, yes.”

 

Nate sighed heavily and then stood. “I need to go shoot something. Excuse me.”

 

He didn’t give either of us a chance to say anything to him before he’d stepped around the couch and was out the door, leaving it hanging open. My first instinct was to follow him, and I went to stand, but Preston laid a hand on my thigh. “Let him have his moment. You threw a lot at him.”

 

“I know, I just …” I looked out at where Nate had walked off and sighed. “Fuck, I hope I haven’t screwed up already.” I held my head in my hands, my elbows resting on me knees as I tried to stamp down the growing anxiety. I could only hope that Nate would come back, after his time alone, ready and willing to listen to me and follow through with this plan. If not … well, I wasn’t sure what I would do. I didn’t know if I could just stand by and watch the events of the game unfold and not _do_ anything about it, but … what if I had to?

 

Preston, to his credit, laid a hand on my shoulder. “He just needs a minute to clear his head. I mean, that was a lot of information to process, you know? Maybe too much at once.”

 

“But if I had held anything back, not told him what I did, and he found out down the line, and found out I _knew_ but just didn’t say anything, then who’s to say he wouldn’t get pissed at me and then refuse to listen to _anything_ I have to say?” I sighed and muttered, “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”

 

“Don’t get me wrong, I agree with being honest, it just seems like an awful lot to be honest _about_.”

 

I chuckled and shook my head. “What if this doesn’t work, Preston? What if he wants nothing to do with me?”

 

“Well, no matter what happens, you’ll always have a home here, with us.”

 

I arched an eyebrow at him, sitting up. “Really? Why?”

 

“You knew we were in trouble and you sent Nate to us. And, even if this isn’t ‘your world’ as you put it, you seem to genuinely care about the people of the Commonwealth and bettering their lives.” He flashed me a smile as he added, “I think Nate will come around, but even in the off chance that he won’t, you’ll always have a place with the Minutemen.”

 

I smiled as I leaned back against the back of the couch. “Such glowing optimism, Preston. Do you keep any for yourself?” I knew the answer was, of course, that he didn’t. That when Nate found him he was borderline suicidal and all but ready to die, and the only reason he didn’t pull the trigger on himself was because he felt he had a duty to the settlers he protected. But I didn’t want to pry too deeply, get too personal if he wasn’t comfortable, and so I left it at that.

 

Instead of replying to my question, Preston smiled and gestured with his head. “C’mon, why don’t you meet the settlers that you helped save?”

 

Meeting new people was never my forte, and yet I had technically met them already, met them and worked with them, provided for them, cared for them. Still, a growing knot of nervousness coiled in my stomach as I followed Preston out of Nate’s house and to the house across the street, where Sturges was already getting busy at the workbench and the others lounged and rested, likely exhausted after their harrowing ordeal. Shit, coming out of Quincy after that whole thing … I’d probably be dead on my feet from both physical and mental exhaustion, and it clearly showed on them, most notably on Marcy and Jun, who I knew had lost a son to whole debacle. I wasn’t really sure how they would react to me, but I was too far in it to quit now, and so I plastered a nervous smile on my face as we approached and Preston introduced me. “Everyone, this is Lia. She’s the one who sent Nate after us. Lia, this is Sturges,” he gestured to the resident handyman, who gave a wave from the workbench, “Marcy and Jun Long,” he pointed out the couple, who were sitting away from each other, mostly too wrapped up in their own grief to acknowledge much, though they at least acknowledged the introduction with a nod, “and Mama Murphy.”

 

The older woman smirked at me from her sitting position on the concrete, “Ah, so this is our saviour.” She held out her hand to me and implored, “Come here, let me get a look at you.”

 

I gulped, wondering just what _Mama Murphy_ could possibly want with me, but I stepped forward and knelt beside her and only startled a little when her hand shot out to grab my wrist. She peered at me with her piercing eyes, silent for several long minutes, and that ball of anxiety was starting to grow the longer she stared. After her silent observation, she chuckled and smiled and released my wrist. “Interesting, very interesting.”

 

“W-What?” I asked. “What’s interesting?”

 

“You have a large part to play in what’s to come, so large I can’t see it all.”

 

Hope fluttered in my chest. “Will I succeed, then?”

 

“That, I can’t say, not without a little _help_ , but … trust your instincts, kid. They’ll never lead you wrong.”

 

Well, I supposed that was a little encouraging, and I halfway wondered if that was part of Preston’s reason for introducing me to the settlers, the hope that Mama Murphy would offer some encouraging sentiment. And she did. Whether that was Preston’s intention or not, I did feel a little better, and as I rose from my kneeling position, I saw Nate trudging back down the street, a determined set to his jaw. As he approached us, he fixed his stare on me specifically and said simply, “I’m in.”


	3. Through hell with a smile

 

_Do it for your people,_

_Do it for your pride,_

_How you ever gonna know if you never even try?_

 

_~~ "Hall of Fame",  The Script_

 

 

\---------

 

“You want to _what_?” I exclaimed in surprise, absolutely gobsmacked at Nate’s suggestion.

 

“I’m appointing you as Major general of the Minutemen,” he replied calmly, as if he didn’t just put me in an extremely high position of power despite having no motherfucking experience in … well, _anything_. “Preston is my Lieutenant general, so he’s my second in command. It only makes sense to make you third in command, seeing as how involved you’ll be.”

 

“But Nate, I … I have no experience in leadership! I mean, I’m a shop manager, but this is way, _way_ above my pay grade. I can’t even shoot a gun!”

 

“Well I guess you’ll have to learn, then,” he said with an amused wink.

 

I resisted the urge to drop my jaw as I turned to the new Lieutenant general beside me, hoping he would see that this was kind of ridiculous and back me up. After all, he had been the last Minuteman, and almost more importantly, he had spent his whole life in service to them, dedicated from a young age. Couldn’t he see that it was … well, sacrilegious, in a way, to just immediately grant someone like me such a title? “Preston?”

 

He shrugged. “Sounds like an order to me, Major general.”

 

So that was it, then. Defeated, I sighed and said, “Fine. _General_.”

 

Nate grinned, knowing he’d won. “Alright, now that we have the positions sorted out for the new Minutemen, what do we need to do to rebuild?”

 

Since he was looking at me, I answered. “We’ll need the support of settlers all over the Commonwealth, but people aren’t going to join based on you asking nicely. People judge based on actions, so to recruit, you’ll have to show that you’re willing to work for them and support them, and only then will they be willing to reciprocate.”

 

Nate’s eyes flicked over to Preston, and I heard him chuckle as he confirmed, “Sounds like she’s got the measure of the Commonwealth down.”

 

The new General nodded. “Well, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Where do we start?”

 

“There will be a request for help from a settlement at Tenpines Bluff, to the east of here, past the USAF Satellite Station. They’re having issues with raiders out of the Corvega Assembly Plant, so you’ll need to go eliminate them.”

 

“The plant in Lexington?”

 

I nodded. “Be careful, getting there is risky enough because of the feral ghouls you’ll have to contend with, but I can guide you on where to go through the plant …” With that, I walked him through the entire mission, noting where the raiders would be, where turrets would be placed, and even what advantages he could use while there. It would be difficult, especially if he was going alone, but it wasn’t impossible if he was smart about it, which judging by the way he hung on my every word, it seemed like he was definitely amenable to advice. And that was encouraging. The more we talked and went back and forth, the more optimistic I felt that we could actually pull this off. The big, overall goal was definitely in reach. It was just mapping out the little goals along the way that was the real work, not to mention achieving them. Having both Nate and Preston on board so far was encouraging, though, and it did help ease a little bit of the stress of planning all of this. I mean, tossing theoretical scenarios back and forth with fellow fans was one thing, but _being_ here and actually _doing_ this was on a whole other level. Actions - or lack thereof - had real consequences that had to be lived with. No quicksaving and then reloading if I didn’t like the results, every decision and action was permanent. Hardcore survival mode had nothing on this.

 

Once we had everything laid out and Nate ran out of questions, the sun had long been set. We had taken a break only for a meal that Jun had made for everyone before we had gone right back to it. Now that everything was set, all that was left was to follow through, which Nate would do the next day. Nate retired to his own room, but I wasn’t really sure where to go, since I hadn’t even had a chance to set up somewhere to sleep for the night, completely distracted by … well, everything. The thought of returning to the mattress in the Red Rocket station made my skin want to crawl, not only from the state of said mattress but also with the knowledge that mole rats were camped out there and I didn’t particularly want to wake up in the middle of the night with them gnawing on me. Thankfully, Preston seemed to have thought ahead regarding sleeping arrangements, as he laid a hand on my shoulder and guided me to the house across from Nate’s. “The settlers are bunking in this house for now, until we can rebuild Sanctuary. Sturges has some extra sleep rolls, so go ahead and make yourself comfortable. This is your home now, too.”

 

“What about you?” I asked as I stood at the door, realizing that Preston as stopped before his feet hit the concrete patio.

 

“I’m going to have a look around, make sure we’re secure here, and patrol some before I retire. We’ll need to set up some defences as soon as possible, but this location seems pretty secure so I anticipate Sturges and I won’t see any excitement during the night beyond some irradiated bugs.”

 

I didn’t really like the idea of Preston pushing himself any further than he already was, but safety was important here in the Commonwealth, and it did make me feel safer knowing he was on guard. And, at least he was sharing the burden with Sturges. That had to count for something. In game, Preston was the only one that patrolled the settlement, but obviously in a real world situation, he wasn’t simply some code that could go on indefinitely. As I set my hand on the door, I told him, “Just don’t push yourself too hard, okay?”

 

He smirked and gave me a nod. “Will do. Sleep well, Major general.”

 

“Goodnight, _Lieutenant general_.” I carried the sound of his chuckle with me as I entered the house, stepping as quiet as possible since I wasn’t sure if anyone was sleeping already or not. Dogmeat was right behind me, as Nate decided not to take the dog with him, not wanting the liability of having to look after him while he carried out this mission. In game, of course, he was a useful companion. But in the real world, there was a limit on what a dog could do, and while taking out a few raiders wasn’t a problem, eliminating an entire building full of raiders and turrets and all kinds of dangers … it was pushing it.

 

Mama Murphy wasn’t anywhere to be seen, so I assumed she must have gone to sleep already, but Marcy and Jun were still up, huddled in a corner together and sipping something from a shared cup that I had a sneaking suspicion was something alcoholic. At least they seemed to be talking instead of practically ignoring each other. That was a start. Sturges was also there, tinkering with a few things, and he threw me a casual smile as I walked in. “Finally finish up your war council, huh?”

 

“For now.” I paused a moment and bit my lip, feeling timid all of a sudden. “Hey, um, Preston said something about a sleep roll …”

 

I shouldn’t have worried, as Sturges’ grin grew and he chuckled. “Yeah, I have plenty of spares, ‘specially after … well, I’m sure you know. Lemme grab one for you.” With that he grabbed a large pack beside him and started rifling through it before he pulled a roll out of it and handed it to me. “There ya go. Just pick a spot and camp out, nothing’s been claimed, so don’t worry. It’s first come first serve.”

 

“Thanks, Sturges. Don’t forget to get some rest, yourself.”

 

“Aw I’ll be fine. I’ll be along after I finish this up. Promise.”

 

With that, I left him to it, as I made my way down the hallway of the mostly intact house. Through the moonlight that filtered in through the window, I saw the outline of Mama Murphy in one room, so I took the other one. The rooms were big enough to hold more people, but I didn’t want to chance disturbing her by coming in and settling down. I’d taken care of bathroom business just an hour prior, and though I wasn’t a fan of squatting in the woods, I had little choice for the time being. Either way, I was as ready for bed as I was going to get, so I unrolled the pack, smoothed out the roll, and shucked off my boots before I wiggled into it. Dogmeat sat and watched me and, when I laid down on the attached cushion that acted as a pillow, he loped over to me and settled down by my side. I reached out to touch him, my fingers settling into his thick fur. I wasn’t quite tired just yet, but there was nothing to do but try to sleep, and so I laid there for a time yet, lightly petting Dogmeat as I listened to the random sounds that drifted to me. The breeze outside, stirring the grass. The light scrape of boots against pavement as Preston made his rounds. Hushed conversation that waxed and waned in the living room. Perhaps twenty minutes later, Sturges gingerly crept in the room I was in, unrolling a bed roll of his own and stretching out for some sleep, his arm draped over his face. It wasn’t but maybe five minutes that he was lightly snoring, dead to the world, and I was left awake. I honestly wasn’t sure if I would ever get to sleep that night, with everything that had transpired since this morning weighing heavily on me, but eventually I drifted off into a light doze, and from there it gradually deepened until I was fast asleep before I even realized it. I only awoke briefly once during the night, unsure of the time, but realizing it was late enough that Preston had taken Sturges’ place, his arms crossed over his chest and his hat nestled over his face as he slept. My eyes reflexively closed after that and I was immediately asleep once again.

 

When I awoke next, the sun was streaming through the window, and Dogmeat and Preston were nowhere to be seen in the vicinity. I stretched and yawned and cracked my neck before I scooted out of the sleep roll, pulling on my boots before I got up. The sleep roll that had been used by Sturges and Preston had been left where it was, so I assumed that I could leave my sleep roll where it was, too. I wasn’t quite sure as to the etiquette of the post-apocalypse, but I figured following someone else’s lead was pretty safe. I made sure to keep quiet as I walked through the house, because Mamma Murphy and the Long’s were all still sleeping, holed up in the same room. Sturges was in the living room, disassembling an old portable radio, and he looked up as he saw me entered and grinned. “Well, well, well, sleeping beauty arises.”

 

My cheeks heated in embarrassment as I asked, “Is it late?”

 

He guffawed in response. “Nah, I’m just ribbin’ ya. Preston’s brewing some coffee if you want some.”

 

I started to say yes, but then realized that there probably wasn’t any kind of sweetener in this world, and the thought of drinking black, bitter coffee turned my stomach. “I’m good, I think I’ll pass.”

 

“Suit yourself,” Sturges mumbled as he went back to disassembling the radio, the tip of his tongue trapped between his lips as he concentrated on what he was doing.

 

Outside, at the little fire pit that had become the rudimentary kitchen for the time being, Preston Garvey tended to a kettle. Dogmeat stood beside him, his nose in the air as he sniffed deeply, and he turned as I opened the door and wagged his tail. Preston looked up as he heard the door close and he repeated the offer for coffee, which I declined again. I had thought long and hard between the living room and the fire pit, but I could not remember one instance of any kind of sweetener in the world of Fallout. Which, didn’t necessarily mean that there was none, but I figured best not take chances at this point. I settled down at the fire anyway, rubbing my hands in the chilly morning air. The Vault suit kept me warm, for the most part, but I could still feel the chill in the air from my exposed skin. “By the way,” Preston started, “I took your dog out for a walk this morning when I got up. Hope that was okay.”

 

I chuckled. “Sure, I don’t mind. Dogmeat’s not really my dog, he’s just a friend.”

 

As if he could sense we were talking about him, the German Shepherd opened his mouth wide in a pant, as if he were grinning.

 

Preston poured himself a steaming cup of dark liquid and blew on it carefully before he took a sip. I tried not to grimace picturing how bitter it must taste, but the Minuteman must have been long used to it by now as it didn’t even seem to phase him. _Lucky him_. I was the kind of person that put an ungodly amount of sugar and creamer in my coffee, unless I got some really good shit. I didn’t like the taste of _cheap_ coffee, that burnt, bitter taste that came through unless you drowned it in sweetness. Maybe I was just overly sensitive to that particular taste, but whatever the case, unless I got a particularly good brand, copious amounts of sugar and creamer were necessary. Even the smell of cheap coffee didn’t do me any favours, and I turned my head and hoped the wind would pick up and carry it away from me.

 

As he took a long swig, Preston stood and looked out over what he could see of the neighbourhood from his position. Dogmeat put his nose to the ground and started sniffing around, casually exploring the immediate area. I wasn’t sure who had trained him - the lore was spotty on details of his Fallout 4 appearance - but whoever owned him previously had obviously worked with him fairly extensively, as he was extremely well behaved and responded to a number of commands. I had read something previously that Dogmeat had accompanied Preston and company to Concord and had been sent for help once the raiders set upon them, but Preston had yet to say anything about it, so perhaps that little tidbit wasn’t quite true. Who really knew.

 

The new Lieutenant general set down the empty metal cup with a clang that shook me out of my thoughts. “Lia, can you come with me?”

 

“Sure,” I replied unquestioningly, immediately getting to my feet to follow him. “Where are we going?”

 

He was already walking, down the road and he started up the path that I knew would lead to Vault 111 before he said, “The General wants you to learn how to shoot, so I’m going to teach you.”

 

My palms started to sweat and I swallowed hard. “You, uh … you think that’s really a good idea?”

 

“If you’re living in the Commonwealth, hell yes it’s a good idea.”

 

“Shouldn’t we conserve ammo, though?”

 

“That’s why I brought a pipe pistol with me and some .38 ammo. That type is a dime a dozen out here, you’ll be fine, no matter how much you _waste_.” He threw back what I’m sure he thought was a reassuring grin, but I could help but feel even more nervous. I bit my lip as we walked through what was left of the gate and up into the open space surrounding the opening to the Vault. I couldn’t help but stare at some of the remains, somehow intact in some form even after over 200 years. I wondered if the radiation had something to do with that, or if maybe something like that was just different here for some reason … it had always puzzled me how there were skeletons somehow left that had died during the initial bombing, even after that length of time. Surely they would have all been dust by that time? But, just because our worlds looked the same, shared the same names for certain places, and even shared a history up until a certain point, it didn’t necessarily mean it was all that similar. Aside from those similarities, it was very different indeed, and that point was made all the more clear when Preston pressed a pipe pistol into my hand.

 

I gulped hard as he pointed out the targets that he’d set up for me - pointed away from the settlement, of course - and I couldn’t stop my hand from shaking as I held up the gun. _What the fuck am I doing?_ I had no clue, and I couldn’t stop shaking enough to even figure out how to aim.

 

Preston noticed something was off and set a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”

 

“I, uh … um, I’ve never … never shot a gun before.”

 

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Never?”

 

I shook my head. “I lived in the middle of a big city, I had no need to. I’ve never even held a gun before.”

 

Despite what was surely an entertaining twist for him, he took my extreme hesitation to heart and moved to help me. “Here, stand like this,” he guided me, moving my feet with his until they were in the proper position. He set his own laster musket down to stand directly behind me and adjust my stance, giving me tips and pointers directly in my ear until his body was flush with me and he was practically aiming for me. “There, like that. Now, line up your target with the sight, and when you’re ready just take a deep breath and pull the trigger on the exhale. Got it?”

 

I nodded tightly, though nerves still fluttered in my stomach. I blinked several times, trying to line up the sights the way I was supposed to, biting my lip as I figured it was as good as I was going to get, took a deep breath, and pulled the trigger.

 

And nothing happened. My shot went wide, scraping bark off of a nearby tree as it raced into the wasteland on its own, searching for a target to bury itself into. I heard Preston’s chuckle behind me, but he didn’t tease me as he simply gave me a few more pointers before stepping back to let me shoot.

 

My second shot didn’t hit the target, either. Neither did my third, fourth, or fifth. By the time I had to reload, I hadn’t even gotten close, and I was pretty discouraged. Preston was ever patient with me, showing me how to reload and giving me every tip and trick in the book, but I was feeling like an utter failure as I raised the pipe pistol again. _Wow, Lia, just look at you. Can’t even shoot a fucking Nuka Cola bottle. How the hell are you supposed to survive in this wasteland if you can’t shoot? Better hope that raiders never hear of Sanctuary and come knocking, you’ll be useless for defence. Not to mention wasting all this goddamn ammo. They might not do much in a fight, overall, but having a pipe pistol and some ammo is better than nothing, and you’re pretty much just flushing it all down the toilet._ I lowered the gun for a moment as I closed my eyes, trying to block out the negative ruminating that my brain was trying to force on me, actively countering it with an attempt at some positive, confident thoughts. _It’s only your second day in the wasteland, you’ve never even held a gun before, much less fired one. You can’t expect to pick this up immediately, like any new skill it takes time. Remember how long it took you to learn how to type? And yet at the end, you were the fastest typer in the class. How you begin doesn’t determine how you’ll end._ My negative side wasn’t so easily swayed, however, as it came right back with, _Better hope that Preston will stick it out with you through this learning curve. If he gets annoyed and leaves you up here, it would serve you right. Just why did you think you could cut it here? Idiot_.

 

Tears stung my eyes as my grip tightened on the gun, but I couldn’t find it in me to raise it again. Preston gently nudged me and I looked up to see he was holding out a small cloth bundle. “Here, let’s take a break. I made sure to bring us some breakfast, since I figured we’d probably be up here all morning.”

 

Grateful for the distraction, I nodded and took the bundle he gave me before following him over to sit on some abandoned crates. It was just some basic bread, hard cheese, and what looked like jerky, but it would do. The bread tasted nuttier than what I was used to, but it was still good. The cheese was sharp and had a strong flavour, but it wasn’t unpleasant. It tasted kind of like if someone took a block of swiss and intensified the flavour and mixed in a nutty aftertaste. I had to wonder what a grilled cheese made of the bread and cheese would taste like, and I figured it might taste pretty good, especially with the stew we’d had last night. The meat, I wasn’t sure of its exact origin, but it tasted a little on the gamey side, like the venison jerky my uncle would always bring me. Preston and I remained silent as we ate, pausing only to trade sips from a bottle of purified water. I was the one who finally broke the silence as I suddenly asked, “Preston, what if I never get this?”

 

He seemed a bit surprised by the question, as if he wasn’t expecting me to talk or anything, but he took it in stride and replied with, “You will. Shooting is a skill for a reason, it takes a while to pick up, especially if you’ve never done it at all.” He paused and grinned before he took another bit of bread and said, “I was terrible to begin with.”

 

Now that was surprising. “You were?”

 

He guffawed loudly. “Lia, you should have seen me when I first got into the Minutemen. Not even out of my teens yet, all gangly limbs and spitfire. I was so bad, I was scared they’d kick me out before I could even get started.”

 

I chuckled with him. “That sounds pretty hard to believe.”

 

“Well, believe it. I was one of the worst recruits they probably ever had,” he flashed a wide grin at me as he added, “But, I was determined. I’d always wanted to be a part of the Minutemen, always felt that was where I needed to be, so I wasn’t going to just let my chance go.” He took a swig of water as he continued, “I trained every day, for hours at a time, with some of the best shooters they had. Whatever tips they had, whatever pointers they gave me, I took them to heart and practiced as much as I could. It took a little while, but … I actually started hitting the targets more often than not. And then I started hitting them more often, and I kept it up until I could hit a target with every single shot I made.” As we both finished, he dusted off his hands and got to his feet, offering me a hand. “Just don’t give up. I believe you, just like the Minutemen believed in me.”

 

As I took his hand and stood, I could really feel the strength of conviction behind his words. This was a brand new side to Preston, one I’d never seen or heard before, and it only endeared me to him more as we gathered in front of the target and he adjusted my stance before stepping away once more. Deep breath in, hold it for a split second, then on the exhale … _bang!_ And a simultaneous crack. I jumped in surprise at the sharp sound, and had to blink a couple of times before I realized that happened. I hadn’t quite hit the target solidly, only the neck portion. The rest of the bottle stood intact, hardly even rattled. But I’d _hit it_ and fuck I felt a swell of hope. _I can do this, I really can do this_. Preston whooped behind me, excited for me. And, if I was being honest, I was proud of me, too.

 

By the time we made it back from the Vault area, around lunch time, I had managed to hit the targets a total of three more times, once even square in the middle, shattering the glass. Preston was exceedingly proud of me, and I was, too. The afternoon was spent with Sturges, cleaning out other houses, scavenging what we could, and just assisting him with doing whatever he needed me to do. I didn’t know the first thing about … well, whatever it was he was doing, so I became his go-for, and I was perfectly happy with that. Marcy and Jun were digging and setting up an area for a garden, and Mama Murphy helped them as much as she could, taking frequent breaks as needed. Nate wandered back into Sanctuary that night, grinning like a fool because Tenpines Bluff had immediately accepted recruitment into the Minutemen once he’d cleared out Corvega, just like I told him. Preston was over the moon, and we all celebrated that night.

 

The next week or so passed in a similar fashion. I would tell Nate which settlements needed help and what they needed help with, I gave him a detailed outline of where he would need to go and what he would need to do, and then he’d go out and do it, spreading the word of the Minutemen as he went. With my insight, we were even able to save Mary Abernathy from being killed by raiders, as Nate arrived just in time to drive the raiders away before they killed her and took her locket. He still purged the USAF Satellite Station, just to make sure none were left alive, but he faced a helluva lot less resistance because of his proactive actions. I was ecstatic, as I hadn’t known if it would even be possible to prevent a “scripted” death like that, but I was all the more glad for it.

 

As for life in Sanctuary, it remained unchanged. I would sleep in the same room, with Dogmeat at my side, shared with Sturges at the beginning of the night before he switched watch with Preston. Then, once I woke up, Preston would take me up to the Vault and I would practice shooting. I still wasn’t very good, but I was definitely improving, as I could hit the target more often than not now. Preston started setting up a variety of targets, some big, some small, some closer, some further away. My accuracy always went down when introduced to a new variable, but with time I started picking it up, each time quicker than the last. After a week of intense training, Sturges even took me out hunting, and was proud as punch when I scored my first radstag. I still needed a little help from Sturges taking it down, but I critically injured it and allowed him the chance to fire the fatal shot and he couldn’t stop grinning as he clapped me on the back. Looking back, killing it wasn’t really the hard part, it was the field dressing that we had to do to take it back to Sanctuary, and there were more than a few times I had to look away or risk losing my lunch. Sturges took it in stride, though, showing me what he could while I was looking and not making a fuss out of my queasiness. On our way back, I pondered if I should tell him if he was a synth or not. Finding that out about him - completely by accident, by reading a wiki - had never changed my opinion of him in the slightest. He was kind, hard working, and smart as a whip with a streak of ingenuity a mile wide. I was proud to count him among my friends, as I always had been before.

 

When we crossed the bridge to Sanctuary, I was surprised to see Nate there, erecting a couple of turrets near the entrance. He looked up and waved as we drew near, and I threw out in greeting, “Hey! Wasn’t expecting you back yet.”

 

He chuckled as he wiped some grease from his hands. “Hate to say it, but I think I’m getting used to this place. That or these raiders are getting easier to deal with.” He tightened one last screw on a control panel and the turret purred to life, scanning the area for any danger. Preston would definitely sleep easier at night, and if I was being honest so would I. In game, I had a tendency to go for overkill, placing a veritable fence of turrets along the edge of Sanctuary. Of course, in the “real world” that wasn’t exactly a viable option, but even just a few would help. As he dusted of his hands from the grit and grime that coated them, he told me, “Better take your stab at a bath tonight, tomorrow you’re coming with me.”

 

I froze in place. “Coming with you? For what?”

 

He grinned. “We’re gonna go rescue that Grandpa Toaster you keep talking about.”

 

My cheeks flushed and I swallowed before I said, “That subway and Vault are crawling with guys, I’m not gonna be much of a backup.”

 

“According to Preston, you’re developing a decent shot. And you can’t stay in this settlement forever. If you wanna save the Commonwealth, you gotta get out in it, get your hands dirty.” He winked at me as he promised, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe.”

 

That night, I took the first bath I’d been afforded since I’d gotten here. It had taken Sturges a while to make a water purifier, and since it wasn’t a good idea to wash oneself in irradiated water, nobody had been washing. Thankfully, it didn’t get too hot during the day, but I still felt grimy and my hair was limp and lifeless. Since it was such a light, white blond colour, it didn’t show grease as well as Marcy’s dark hair, but I had been itching for a hair tie to pull it back with. Since the other settlers had gone even longer without a proper wash up, I’d let everyone else have a turn before I took one. We’d set up a bathhouse of sorts in another one of the abandoned houses, one with an extra large bathroom built in. There wasn’t a non-labour intensive way to heat the water yet, so everyone had just opted for a cold bath. Which, from the outset, didn’t sound so bad, but when I nearly yelped upon plunking down in the small tub, I was wondering if I should rethink my stance on personal hygiene. I simply sat in there for a few minutes, shivering, until I finally steeled myself with, _Well, we’re already here. Might as well make the most of it._ I dunked my hair under the water, wetting it before thoroughly scrubbing it with a the same bar of soap that everyone used, lathering it into as much of a lather as I could before scrubbing my scalp and rinsing, which was much easier said than done. Truly that was what took up most of my time, and by the time I had finished and was ready to move on to my body, I had more or less adjusted to the temperature of the water. I had been given my own washcloth, and I lathered it up well before scrubbing every inch of my body before splashing it off and getting out of the tub. The cloths we used for towels were thin and cotton, and not near as absorbent as terry cloth, so by the time I wasn’t even halfway done drying off it was about as wet as I was. I rung it out as best as I could and kept going until I figured I could squeeze back into my Vault suit. Laundry was a whole other matter, but I could worry about that later as I tipped the small tub and poured the dirty, soapy water down the drain of what used to be a stand up shower before I pulled on my socks and boots and headed out of the house, wrapping my arms around me as I shivered and making a beeline for the fire pit so I could warm up again.

 

Nate smirked at me as I approached, and when I drew close, he tossed a small object at me. I was surprised when I actually caught it, realizing that it was a hairbrush as I held it in my hand. “Found it while out the other day, figured you could use one.”

 

“Thanks,” I mumbled as I worked it through my wet hair without hesitation. Before, I would have never used a hairbrush other than one I personally bought, but things were different now and I had to take what I could get in this wasteland. And being picky about beauty things was definitely something I had to let go of. I watched as Nate disappeared into the designated bath house for his own scrub up, smirking as I heard that he wasn’t able to contain a small yelp. Yeah, things were vastly different now, and that was about the only thing that wasn’t going to change.


	4. Classic Man

_ I could pull the wool while I'm being polite, _

_ Like darling, calling all night, _

_ I can be a bull while I'm being polite ... _

 

_ I'm a classic man, _

_ You can be mean when you look this clean, _

_ I'm a classic man, _

_ Calling on me like a young OG, _

_ I'm a classic man, _

_ Your needs get met by the street elegant old fashioned man, _

_ Yeah, baby, I'm a classic man ... _

 

_ ~~ "Classic Man", Jidenna _

 

 

\---------

 

I don’t know what the hell possessed Nate and made him think it would be okay to take me into the depths of a triggerman infested subway, but I hoped he would stop and think twice in the future, because this was far from what I would have considered fun. We managed to get through the first portion of Park Street station without too much of a hitch, but now we were pinned down at the stairs in the loading area. Nate lobbed a few grenades over the railing and I jumped as they exploded, a helluva lot louder than I was expecting. My ears were ringing when I saw one of the triggermen maneuvering around to try to get a clear shot at us. I shouted for Nate and squeezed off a couple of shots but mine went wild, embedding into the tile beside the dude. It at least distracted the triggerman long enough to try to take cover, giving Nate enough time to zero in on his position and pull off a shot of his own. Unlike mine, his actually hit its target, and my stomach turned as blood and brain matter spilled onto the wrecked tile floor. I didn’t have time to think much about it, because another triggerman was making a run toward us and I actually managed to wing him with a shot before Nate took him out. It wasn’t much, just a graze on his upper arm, but it gave us enough of an advantage for Nate to line up a shot and take him out with one shot instead of wasting a few shots on him. The assault took a lot longer than it usually did in game, but I was also woefully under-skilled and so Nate had to pretty much take care of everything himself.

 

He finally finished off the last one and we moved on, and he picked off the few that were waiting at the Vault entrance before we crept over and he used his Pip Boy to open it up. I had always wondered just how the whole gang had gotten _in_ the Vault to begin with, but the mess of wires and circuitry that spilled its guts from the control panel gave it away. In game, one had to suspend a certain amount of disbelief. In the real world, though, there had to be an explanation, and it seemed someone had been smart enough to fuck around with the control panel to trigger the doors to open.

 

Once inside, the triggermen were a little more spread out and easier to target. The large, unfinished space was the most difficult, but Nate’s expertly thrown grenades helped a ton with that. I swore I was going to lose my hearing as the explosions echoed painfully in the large space, but I tried to just train my eyes and him and follow him and try to keep an eye out for anyone else that might pop out. My anxiety had my heart going a mile a minute and I was paranoid as fuck that someone unexpected would jump out and shoot me in the face. I wanted nothing more than to get out of there, my skin was crawling so bad, but I couldn’t. I had no choice but to move on and keep going because if I didn’t, I could cost Nate a precious second of attention and then that would be it for either of us. And we had a helluva lot of road ahead of us to bite it now.

 

After what seemed like forever, we finally made it to the area where Nick was being held. Dino was there, blabbering off at the mouth about something or another. I’d never bothered to get close enough to actually hear their conversation. it had never mattered to me. Nate felt similarly to me, as he lined up a shot and executed a perfect head shot, splattering his brains all over the window and wall as the gangster’s body slumped to the floor. We were now in the clear, and abandoned any attempt as stealth as we rushed up the stairs. “Check his pockets,” I told Nate. “He should have the terminal password on him somewhere.” To the partially obscured window, I said, “Just hang on, Nick, we’re gonna get you out of there.”

 

It didn’t take Nate but a minute or so of searching before he found the password, and he immediately went to the terminal and punched it in, opening the door that held Nick Valentine prisoner. The prototype synth stood there in all his old world style glory, casually smoking a cigarette with his “good” hand and his skin stripped hand shoved in his coat pocket. He inhaled as we entered, flicking the ashes away as he said, “Well, well, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

 

Nate stepped forward. “My name is Nate Howard, General of the Minutemen, and this is Major general Lia Bauer.”

 

He nodded. “Nick Valentine, but it seems you already know that. We can talk about that later, though, we only have a few minutes before they come looking for Dino, so we gotta scoot while the gettin’s good.”

 

I wholeheartedly agreed with him, and once he’d retrieved his gun and a stash of bullets from Dino, we were on our way. Nate and Nick took point while I brought up the rear, feeding Nate information about what enemies would be where. The first time it happened, Nick didn’t seem like he even heard it. But the second and third time, he looked back at me curiously. I knew the detective was just dying to know how I knew exactly where everyone would be, but I had promised myself that I would be up front and honest with him from the get. It’s not like I could have really hidden anything from him anyway, the old synth was like a dog with a bone when it came to a mystery.

 

We finally made it to the end, and the final confrontation between Skinny Malone and Nick Valentine. I stayed out of it, just letting things unfold however they would, and as luck would have it Nick was able to negotiate our way out of the Vault with no further violence. Darla stayed behind with him, but I wasn’t too fussed about it either way. She was a grown woman, able to make her own decisions, and if she wanted to be with a gangster like Skinny Malone then that was her business. Besides, knowing her, even if we could have convinced her to come with us she probably would have hooked up with someone else just like him. Girls like her had a definite type, and it was not the kind that could be brought home to meet the parents.

 

Once we were out in the relatively fresh air of the Commonwealth, I could see that dusk was starting to set in. While there was countless violence and chaos going on all around us, for just that moment, looking up at the stars, everything actually seemed peaceful. Nick only spared a few moment’s glance at the sky, however, before he turned back to us and said, “I want to thank you for busting me out of there. Not everybody would have stopped and helped a hapless detective. That being said, though, how did you know where to find me in the first place?”

 

“That would be courtesy of my Major general, here,” Nate said with a nod. “She was particularly adamant about rescuing her _Grandpa Toaster_.”

 

I blushed furiously and glared at Nate from behind his back as Nick glanced at me with a curious look. “Is that so?” he asked. “Maybe my memory circuits aren’t what they used to be, but I can’t recall us meeting before.”

 

“We haven’t. It’s … complicated,” I offered. _Is it just me, or am I using that word a lot? It feels like I’m using that word a lot._ “I can explain everything, but we’ll probably want to do it somewhere a little safer.”

 

Nick nodded, and offered, “I have an office in Diamond City, if you’re headed that way.”

 

“Lead the way,” Nick replied, and so we set off toward the old Fenway Park, something I had already clued Nate in about. He was actually low-key excited to see the old place, as he’d spent many a summer there going to games as a boy. I should have figured Nate was a baseball kind of guy. I personally wasn’t really interested much in sports, so the true impact of visiting a place like Fenway was completely lost on me. The only novelty it would hold is seeing the settlement of Diamond City. It was fascinating, the ingenuity of people of the post-apocalyptic wasteland to transform an otherwise empty space into a thriving community. And, really, it was fairly ideal, as far as a settlement went, because even though it was in the middle of a city, the high walls protected it on all sides. Pretty damn smart, really. It also made a great waypoint for caravans as they trekked through the wasteland. If, that is, they could get past the gangs of raiders and super mutants that dotted the city. Fortunately, there were safe paths, and Nick knew them all like the back of his hand, so consequently we made it to the front gates of Diamond City without firing another shot. Even though technically we didn’t _need_ Nick in the grand scheme of things, I knew he would be incredibly useful for navigating the Commonwealth. Not that Nate couldn’t handle himself, but if you don’t need to waste ammo … you know? That was how I’d sold it to him. It had taken a few times of pestering him after he’d come back after taking care of another settlement, but it seemed he’d finally relented. Of course, the fact that I found Nick Valentine to be utterly charming and that I’d fallen in love with him the first time I’d laid eyes on him in game didn’t have anything to do with my reasoning. It was purely professional, of course. At least, that’s what I told myself. But the way the synth’s backward glances made butterflies alight in my stomach told me that I had only been kidding myself. I had to keep a lid on it, though. In reality, we had just met, and I had no idea if the _real_ Nick Valentine was capable of a romantic relationship. He was a prototype, after all, and in the vanilla game he wasn’t a romance option at all, so in my book that didn’t really bode well. I had bypassed that with mods, of course, but there was no such option here. If that was the case, I would have been installing a whole slew of shit before I even considered romance mods, stuff that would have added proper plumbing and more turret options, hell even something that added god mode for me would have been nice. But no, I was stuck being a fragile human that had to take whatever was given to her in this wasteland.

 

In other words, I was pretty much fucked.

 

It was well past dark by the time we finally made it back to Diamond City, and the way the settlement was lit up at night was, dare I say, beautiful. The air was cool, but muggy, and it hung heavy over us as we walked down the entrance and into the marketplace. There was a quiet hush that had settled over the place as night had set in, and the only real people of note that we saw were Diamond City security, everyone else either firmly in their cups at the Dugout Inn or nestled into their beds. We followed Nick as he wound the familiar path around and behind the marketplace until he ducked into the alcove that lead to his office. He produced a single key from his pocket and unlocked the door before pushing it open and calling out, “Ellie? Are you still here?”

 

The was a clatter that rose from the back and and few running steps before the secretary gasped and exclaimed, “Nick? Is that really you?” Ellie Perkins rushed into view, throwing her arms around the detective as she excitedly greeted him. “I was starting to really get worried that something went wrong.”

 

“Well, something did, but I had help getting out of that jam,” he said as he tilted his head toward us.

 

After thanking us profusely and shoving off a reward on us - I had warned Nate she might try to, but try as he might there was no refusing a determined Ellie - we all sat down for a well-deserved drink, passing around a large bottle of Bobrov’s best moonshine. The first swig almost made me choke from the way it burned, but I got it down without spewing it back out so I counted it a success. In between sips, we laid it all out for Nick exactly who I was, what I knew, and what we needed from him. Even though I knew where Kellogg was - and knew where his apartment was where a nice little stash would be just waiting for Nate to snatch up - I’d also had a feeling that Nick would have some more practical, concrete information on the man and how he operated, information that just might help Nick when he infiltrated Fort Hagen. We didn’t need Kellogg’s memories, after all, but we’d decided it was best to ensure that Kellogg wouldn’t go after Virgil while we still needed him. That, plus Nate was itching for some revenge, and I wasn’t about to prevent him from going after the merc. I had given him everything I knew about Kellogg, including his history and what had set him on the path that he’d taken, but Nate had maintained that life was about choices, that choices determined who you were, and Kellogg had made his when he’d shot Nora. Once I’d found out Kellogg’s past, I’d felt a little conflicted about killing him, but for Nate, similarities did not equal sympathy. As it turned out, my hunch was right, and Nick had plenty of useful information on Kellogg that he’d gathered over the years. Between Nick’s intel and my knowledge, Nate was able to piece together a plan of action, one that he surprised me with the intention of kicking into place the following morning.

 

“What about me?” I asked, worried that he was about to ask me to follow him into Fort Hagen.

 

“I want you to stay with Nick, if that’s okay,” he said, shooting a look at the old synth. “I hate to be presumptuous, but I think we could really use another brain with us, and if anything it would help alleviate some of the toll that planning takes on Lia.”

 

I flushed, realizing that my attempts to cover the yawns and the bone-deep exhaustion that followed one of our planning sessions was not as effective as I’d thought. I mean, sure, yeah, I felt drained after each one, but in a way it felt good. Like I was actually doing something, contributing toward the future of the Commonwealth, even though I’d been tucked away in Sanctuary. I had figured, in a way, I deserved it, since I wasn’t out actively doing anything. But, Nate was apparently too perceptive for me, and I realized _he_ had manipulated _me_ into fetching Nick Valentine and not the other way around. I wasn’t sure if I should be annoyed or impressed.

 

To his credit, Nick simply smirked and nodded. “Sounds like my kind of fun.”

 

Nate looked relieved. “Thank you.” Turning to me, he dropped a small sack in my hands. “Here, this should be more than enough for food until I get back.”

 

_Is this really happening? Yeah, yeah I think it is._ I nodded. “Okay. Just be careful, Nate.”

 

He winked. “I always am.” He stood as he said, “I better get on over to the Dugout Inn, get in some rest before I set out.”

 

And just like that, after a quick exchange of goodbyes, I was left alone with Nick Valentine. Ellie went to spend the night with a boyfriend, as she said she normally did, giving Nick a kiss on the cheek before she swooped out the door, just a minute or two after Nate left. And that was it, I was left alone with my absolute favourite character in the game. Sure, I liked Hancock and MacCready and even Danse, but Nick … Nick was special to me. And he was now sitting mere inches away from where I sat, lighting up a cigarette. “So …” he began with a smirk, “… Grandpa Toaster?”

 

My cheeks reddened as I dropped my gaze. “Sorry, it’s just … it’s a nickname.”

 

He chuckled. “I’m not offended, just curious.”

 

I sighed. “It’s … it’s a nickname some friends and I gave you. You sometimes seemed a little grumpy but you otherwise really care about people and want to help however you can, hence the Grandpa part.”

 

“And lemme guess, ‘toaster’ because I’m a synth.”

 

I nodded, my face burning as hot as a neutron star. I wasn’t about to tell him that the reason we specifically chose “toaster” is because we thought he was _hot_. Nope, nope, better to just let him think it was because he was a synth.

 

He seemed to buy it, at least, flicking his cigarette ash into a nearby ash tray as he commented, “Well, I’ve certainly been called worse. Don’t stop on my account.”

 

_Can I just melt into the floor and disappear now?_ I absently wondered.

 

Both of us retired shortly after. Nick showed me to the washroom that I hadn’t even known existed at the back of his office, and then pointed me up the wooden stairs to the little alcove. “You can use Ellie’s bed, since she’s gone tonight. She’s been gone most nights, lately, won’t be surprised when she moves out for good.”

 

I nodded, and as I went to place my foot on the first step, I paused as I felt the need to say, “Thanks, Nick. For … for everything.”

 

The old synth took it in stride. “No worries. Get some rest, I have a feeling we’ll want to do at least some preliminary planning tomorrow.”

 

_Ugh, don’t remind me_ , I mentally replied as I climbed the stairs to the little space that Ellie normally occupied. I gently sat on the edge of the bed, shucking my shoes before I laid down and pulled the blanket over me. It was the first time I actually got to sleep on a mattress in a long while, and while it was no Sleep Comfort or Temperpedic, my back seemed like it sighed in relief. As I closed my eyes, I wondered if I would finally be able to wake up without stiff shoulders or a stiff back. I had almost forgotten what that was like. I didn’t get to ponder on it too long because before I knew it, I had already slipped into a deep sleep, the exhaustion of the day plus the shots of moonshine helping lull me into that restful oblivion.

 

I didn’t dream at all, and the next thing I coherently remembered as being gently shaken awake. Before I could even open my eyes or put a full thought together, I mumbled, “Mmm, what?”

 

A throaty chuckle, and then, “Don’t wanna sleep the day away.”

 

My eyes flew open to meet the golden glow of Nick’s eyes, looking rather bemused at my apparent oversleeping. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep that long.”

 

“Don’t be, you needed it. Now come on, the noodle joint serves a killer breakfast, or so I’m told, but only for another hour or so.”

 

I didn’t need that long to get ready. I splashed my face with some water and brushed my hair, flipping it and brushing it from beneath in the hopes that it would retain at least a little volume. My wish was mostly granted, though I could tell it wouldn’t be long before it would be as limp as a thistle. Maybe I could hit up one of the stands, maybe they would have something to hold my hair up once it got to that point so I at least wouldn’t have to walk around with it so obviously dirty. Later for that, though, as my stomach growled and I realized I hadn’t stopped to eat since Nate and I munched on some rations before we hit up Park Street Station, and that could only barely be considered a meagre meal in the best of circumstances. I stashed my brush back in my small pack and hoisted it on my shoulder, exiting the washroom in time to see Nick adjusting his tie. _Holy shit, why does the sight of him in that suit and trench coat do things to me?_

 

Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice my slight stumble as he asked, “Ready?”

 

“Yessir,” I replied, tightening my grip on my pack.

 

He chuckled as he settled his signature hat on his head before he motioned toward the door. “Ladies first.”

 

It was a curious feeling, roaming the streets of Diamond City with Nick Valentine, and I wondered if it was because I was with my most favourite companion or if it was all the stares that were thrown my way. I quickly realized that I stood out quite a bit, not just because I was in the company of a well-known synth, but because I wore that bright blue jumpsuit that signified _vault dweller_. Even though I wasn’t really from a vault, nobody else knew that and simply drew the obvious conclusion. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, but what was done was done as Nick and I sidled up to the counter at Power Noodles. I knew the food here was usually overpriced, but it seemed Nick and Takahashi had some sort of understanding or agreement and I was given a discount on my meal, which was a large, steaming bowl full of noodles, a light broth, chunks of fatty meat, and some hard-boiled eggs. It reminded me of a traditional ramen, in a way, and it was hearty and filling. Nick, of course, didn’t have anything, as he didn’t need to eat, but he sat with his back to the counter, people watching as I ate my fill. He tipped his hat to familiar faces, saying good morning to those he knew and even greeting those who didn’t return it. _Truly a gentleman_.

 

After I finished, instead of taking me right back to his office, he gave me a personal tour of sorts of Diamond City. I was grateful for the distraction, and I immediately felt at ease with him. It wasn’t just that I felt safe - because I definitely did - there was just this air of nonchalance about him that seemed to almost comfort me in a way, ease the stresses and the tension that I had barely even realized was there to begin with. He had me laughing as we walked by the wall like we were old friends and our level of comfortability was born out of years of knowing each other. One probably wouldn’t have been able to tell that we’d actually just met the day before, the way we went back and forth. He casually smoked a cigarette as we finally rounded on his office, and I knew our break was over. I was actually a little sad, in a way, not that we would have to get to work but because I loved this kind of down time, just being able to relax around someone and not worry about the fate of the Commonwealth. I wasn’t going to get many of these moments, that I knew, and so I did my best to enjoy them as they came because they wouldn’t stay long.

 

Ellie was waiting for us when we returned, and after an exchange of pleasantries, we dove right into it. I laid it all out for them, just like I had for Nate and Preston, and they asked about as many questions. The Minutemen were getting close to the point where they could take back the Castle, so we needed to start thinking ahead to what we needed to do _after_ , which in my mind involved contacting and allying with the Railroad. Nick agreed with me, after I gave him my reasoning, though he was far more wary of involving the Institute. “How do you know it won’t be taken over from the inside, from scientists who disagree with Nate and what he wants to do?”

 

I sighed. “I mean … ultimately, there is no real guarantee. But then again, there’s no real guarantee to any of this. I do know of some specific scientists that will need to be dealt with in some way to at least bring them to heel, if not bring them around, so that’s at least a start. Nate’s pretty good with improvising, so I trust he can think on his feet if anyone else pops up. Realistically, though … the Minutemen and the Railroad will need the Institute to repel the Brotherhood of Steel. Sure, they _could_ take them out without the help, but that only happens after …” I gulped hard, trying not to remember Glory’s dying moments, “… well, let’s just say, the less people that have to die, the better.”

 

“Fair enough,” Nick relented, seeing as I wasn’t going to be moved on this. I knew it probably wasn’t all that comfortable for him to consider something like this, and I did genuinely feel for him, but I couldn’t let that feeling dissuade me from the path that I was on. Was giving in to Nick’s comfort worth Glory’s life? Or the lives at Ticonderoga safe house? Of course not. Plus, the Nick Valentine I knew was tough, and if anyone could buckle down and deal with it, it would be him. “The only question is, where do we find them?”

 

I chuckled. “That’s the easy part. They’re underneath the Old North Church, behind the catacombs. I know their little decoder ring puzzle so getting in isn’t the hard part, _that_ would be convincing Desdemona to join us.”

 

“You think you can do that?”

 

I bit my lip as I seriously considered it. From what I knew of Dez, she was about as strong headed and stubborn as I was, but from the way Deacon could convince her to lay off of the Sole Survivor, she wasn’t unmovable. I just had to give her a good reason, and I think I ultimately had it. “Yeah, I think so. I mean, ultimately, what the Railroad wants is to free all the synths. And if we can facilitate that with Nate taking over the Institute from the inside, I think we can use that. Plus, I’ll have some information she needs, things that I can use to get her to trust me that can be independently confirmed. Once it is, I think she’ll come on board.” I shrugged. “Also, the bonus of offering the Minutemen’s protection to the synths they free will sweeten the pot.”

 

Nick leaned back in his chair as he threaded his fingers together. “You seem to have given this an awful lot of thought.”

 

I laughed. “A whole lot more than you think.” Nick raised his non-existent brows at that, and I obliged. “I’ve played this out more times than I can count, coming at it from different ways, doing different things, but ultimately the result is pretty much the same. My friends and I always thought that was a bit lacklustre, that there should be more options, more things you can do. Maybe it was the limitations of the game’s engine, maybe it was lack of ingenuity on the developers part, maybe some combination, who really knows. Point is, the ending always felt more like a pyrrhic victory than anything else. We tossed what if scenarios around a bit, but really, we could have theorized till the cows came home and it wouldn’t have made damn bit a difference.” I paused for just a moment before I continued, “But now … now I have a chance, a chance to really make things better, to guide others so they can truly come out on top at the end. For their sake, and the sake of the Commonwealth, from the moment it really, truly clicked where and when I was, I knew I had to do _something_.” I smirked. “And here I am, doing something.”

 

“Not many would stick their neck out for people they don’t even know.”

 

I blushed at his compliment. “I do, though. Kind of. In a way. I might not have technically met very many people here, but I still know them intimately. I know their secrets, their pain, their struggles. I’ve known them for several years, done all I could to help them as much as I could. And now I finally get a chance to _really_ help them, in tangible ways.” I tapped my fingernails against the thin material of my jumpsuit as I pondered, “I wonder if that’s why I was the one chosen to come here, by whatever cosmic power did it.”

 

“You don’t even know how you got here?” Ellie asked.

 

I shook my head. “I just woke up here one morning instead of my apartment. Whatever happened, it was seamless.”

 

Nick seemed like he was thinking as he pressed his threaded fingers to his top lip. “You don’t think the Institute had anything to do with you being here, do you?”

 

To tell the truth, I had never really considered it. I mean, not that we had anything like that kind of dimension tripping technology in our world, but I sincerely doubted the Institute did, either. If they did, why waste it on me? I wasn’t anyone important, I wasn’t super smart or talented or anything. And it wasn’t like I was the be all, end all of information when it came to the world of Fallout, there were other fans that knew far more than I could ever hope to. I truly wasn’t unique in any way. “If the Institute has that level of technology, I highly doubt they’d use it to bring one person to their world, especially considering said person is now actively working to dismantle a large part of who and what they are.” I shrugged. “Just doesn’t make sense, ya know? As far as I can figure, it’s some weird case of random chance. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll stay here for good, or if I’ll randomly get zapped back home.” I looked Nick in the eye as I said determinedly, “But no matter what, if this is permanent or temporary, I’m gonna do what I can to make things better for everyone.”

 

That evening, after Ellie left, Nick loosened his tie a little and suggested, “You look like you could use a chance to unwind and relax. Care to join me at the Dugout?”

 

I cocked an eyebrow. “Cavorting with your clients, Nick?”

 

He chuckled. “That’s the good thing about being the boss. I make the rules.” He winked as he asked again, “You joining me?”

 

No way in hell was I about to pass up an evening on the town with Nick Valentine. “Hell yeah.”

 

Nick walked into the Dugout Inn like he owned the joint, not in an aggressive way, just in that cool, calm, collected _I’m in charge_ kind of way. It was that quiet confidence that strung me along as he bought me a few drinks and helped me loosen up a little, even enough to get me to dance with him. I had never been particularly coordinated, but he’d quipped that even if I did step on his feet that it wouldn’t hurt like it would a regular human, and he’d sent me into a fit of giggles that had led to an acquiescence. We were far from the only couple that danced, but none danced with quite the flair of Nick Valentine as we glided through the small designated dancing area. I laughed as he even went to dip me, letting go of any inhibitions that were left. This was exactly what I needed, in the midst of all the planning and the stressing and the worrying, a bright spot of happiness. That feeling of tension and anxiety that had been pretty much ever-present since I’d woke up in this wasteland slipped away, leaving me feeling light and free. And even if it was purely platonic on Nick’s part, it was truly appreciated. I only hoped that I could somehow repay him one day.

 

Once I was thoroughly deep in my cups, it was late as hell, and Nick gently guided me back to his office. He laid a hand on my shoulder to help guide me as I stumbled along rather ungracefully beside him, but he didn’t complain about babysitting the inebriated human. I would have liked to say I could hold my own, and I wasn’t exactly a lightweight when it came to alcohol, but my smaller frame betrayed me and left me a little sloppier than I would have liked. Nick was, thankfully, patient as he guided me back to the washroom to get ready for bed before steering me toward his own bed instead of Ellie’s. “I’m not gonna have you get up in the middle of the night and fall down the stairs,” he insisted as he tucked me in. “Just rest. Nate should be back tomorrow, and from there … well, you know.”

 

“Yeah,” I replied with a goofy grin. “Goodnight, Nick. And … thanks.”

 

He grinned. “You’re welcome, kiddo.”

 

He disappeared up the stairs to take Ellie’s bed for his own and left me below him, wrapped in a tangle of emotions, some of which I couldn’t identify, others I could and didn’t want to acknowledge. As I rolled over, there was a certain ache in my chest, a longing of something I knew I couldn’t have. If I hadn’t been drunk, I would have stayed up for hours yet, thinking and contemplating and trying to reason and bargain myself out of my feelings. As it was, the alcohol pushed me into a restless sleep without even trying, and while I didn’t dream, there was a certain unsettled feeling that followed me.


	5. Beneath the neon light

_ You were born in the city, _

_ Concrete under your feet, _

_ It's in your moves, _

_ It's in your blood ... _

 

_ ~~ "You belong to the city", Glenn Frey _

 

\---------

 

The next morning, I thankfully didn’t have as much of a headache as I would have thought I’d end up with, and after a filling breakfast at the noodle shop I was pretty much back to normal. Nick and Ellie and I didn’t dive into any deep, complicated planning and hashing out, just going over a few minor points, like what to do about Lorenzo Cabot (he would have to be dealt with sooner or later, but we reasoned that Edward Deegan would approach Nate when he needed to, so we determined that we shouldn’t worry about it). Our theorizing and plotting was temporarily put on hold as an unexpected visitor showed up and asked Nick for help, which the old synth obliged since it was his job, after all. It was a quick job, and I assured Nick I would be fine in Diamond City on my own, and so he left, promising to return as quickly as possible.

 

Of course, I wasn’t _really_ all alone. Ellie stayed behind with me, and she was just as friendly as the game had portrayed her as being, if not a little more chatty. She had all kinds of questions for me about the world I came from, and I did my best to answer her rapid-fire inquiries. When she suggested we go to the Dugout Inn for lunch, I readily agreed, if only to get a little bit of a break. I must have seemed like a novelty, someone who hadn’t grown up in this wasteland, hadn’t lived with the glaring reality that everybody else had. It must be strange to meet someone like me, so I didn’t begrudge her curiosity. But a break was nice all the same.

 

The meal we shared was simple, but filling, and we finished it off with a beer a piece. As we did, a certain someone caught Ellie’s eye, and she bit her lip and asked, “You mind if go say hi?”

 

I followed her gaze to a man with sandy blond hair and chuckled. “Take all the time you need, El.”

 

She beamed as she hopped down from the stool at the bar and made her way over to the guy, pulling him into an enthusiastic hug before he leaned in for a kiss. I chuckled as I watched them, taking a swig of my beer before I realized that a familiar figure sat in the corner, all alone. He was dressed in a dusty coat and faded flannels, a worn hat covering his head. I might not have seen him, he might have escaped my gaze entirely, if it hadn’t been for the fact that he was wearing those goddamn sunglasses. I sipped lazily on my beer, wondering if I should even get up and say anything or just leave him to his spying, but for better or for worst I pushed myself off of the bar and stood, meandering over to where he was sitting. I wasn’t about to get a chance like this again, and if I got a chance to put some feelers out on the Railroad for the Minutemen, then I figured I had to grab that opportunity when it presented itself. When I sat down, I swear I saw the very edge of his lip twitch, and I had to wonder just what was going through his mind.

 

I decided to start off casual. “Hey, stranger. Passing through?”

 

He nodded, taking a sip of his drink before responding with, “Yes, Ma’am, just stopped in with a caravan from Bunker Hill, if you’re interested.”

 

I had to actively work to stop myself from laughing at the deep, gravelly drawl he’d added to his voice. He might have fooled other people, but I’d recognize him anywhere, and changing up the tone of his voice didn’t change that. “There is something I’m interested in, actually, but not in a trader from Bunker Hill …” I dropped the volume of my voice as I leaned close to him. “I think I’d rather talk to the Railroad agent.”

 

If I hadn’t been so close to him, I wouldn’t have seen the minuscule flinch and the almost imperceptible way he tensed. I wondered if his eyes were narrowed at all behind those sunglasses but he tried to give off an air of nonchalance as he chuckled and maintained his cover. “Don’t know what you’re talking about. I think maybe you’ve had a few too many.”

 

“Oh, I think I know exactly who I’m talking to … Deacon.”

 

He paused for just a heartbeat before he asked, “Now where did you hear that name?”

 

“I know a lot of things. Like, who you are, that you work as a spy for the Railroad … I even know where your HQ is and the password to get in. Underneath Old North Church, right? In the catacombs … gotta put in _railroad_ on the little decoder turnstile before the big door will open. Of course, there is a back way, but … it’s a little more indirect. And while you may prefer that kind of thing, I prefer to just be direct, myself.”

 

He set down his drink, and by the way his voice went back to normal, I knew he was ready to play ball with me. “So what is it you want to talk about?”

 

I grinned. “Well, it’s not just _me_ that want to talk to the Railroad, it’s the Minutemen.”

 

I wondered if he was up on the happenings with the Minutemen, with the rebuilding that Nate was doing, and it seemed he was as he commented, “Seems you guys have been busy lately.”

 

“That we have. We’ll be retaking the Castle shortly, and when we do, the General would like to have a talk with Desdemona. You think that can be arranged?”

 

“Depends. Why would your General want to talk with us?”

 

“Because the Minutemen want an alliance.”

 

Deacon shook his head. “We aren’t really the ally types, not with whole factions. Now, if Minutemen want to join the Railroad as agents, then …”

 

I shook my head. “Trust me, we’ll be able to help you in ways you don’t even know yet. We have access to information that can potentially help free _all_ the synths in the Institute. Sound like something you want in on?”

 

He hesitated as he thought about it. “Maybe. What’s the catch?”

 

“No catch, just a sharing of information and mutual cooperation.” I glanced around as I added, “I can’t tell you everything right now, but as soon as that meeting can be set up, I’ll tell you _everything_.” As I went to stand, I added, “Do it for Barbara.” I couldn’t be sure that what he’d told the Sole Survivor was true, about his wife and her subsequent death before he joined the Railroad, but in this instance I desperately hoped it was as I walked back to the bar to finish my drink. Of course, one could never really be 100% sure of anything when it came to Deacon, but when I chanced a look back at him, he did have an edge about him that I took to mean I’d rattled him. A small measure of pride beamed through me, as something like that wasn’t easy to do. I just had to hope that would help motivate him to facilitate a meeting between Nate and Dez, and that he would be on our side during said meeting. I finished my beer and handed the empty glass to Vadim, quite glad of my little venture out with Ellie. Lunch had turned into something with potential, and I was all about two-fers.

 

We weren’t back at the office but maybe five minutes before Nick walked in, and he was there maybe half an hour before Nate strolled on in, looking exhausted and yet elated at the same time. As I looked closer, I saw a rather familiar bull-barrelled handgun at his side that he hadn’t had when he left, and I smirked. I always took and used Kellogg’s gun in game, and it seemed that predilection was not a false one as Nate appeared to do the same. Just an interesting quirk that seemed to hold over from my life, and it was amusing to see it happen for real in front of my face. I smirked as I said aloud, “I take it you found Kellogg right where he was hiding.”

 

“That I did,” he replied. “I wanted to … to thank you for all your help. I might have gotten to this point without your insight but it feels a lot better not going into everything flying blind.” He pulled up a chair and said as he added, “Which is why I wanted to consult with you for taking the Castle.”

 

I raised my eyebrows. “Already?”

 

He nodded. “I had a feeling it was about time, and I slipped back up to Sanctuary before I came back here and confirmed with Preston. He’s gathering up some of them and we’re due to meet at a little diner near there.”

 

I nodded. “I know the one.” I grabbed some spare paper and a pencil and sketched a rough outline of the ruined Castle so I could physically guide him through and set him up for the assault. I heavily advised him to place every available mine he had near where the Mirelurk Queen would come out, and to also grab the missile launcher from the office. “That is, if you didn’t grab the Fat Man from Fort Hagen.”

 

He grinned. “You know I did.”

 

I chuckled in response. “Yeah, yeah I did. Really, after you take out the Queen, it’s smooth sailing from there. Only things left after that is making sure everything else has been taken care of and setting up a generator for the radio. Oh, and rebuilding the defences, of course, but that shouldn’t be too difficult. The Castle will have a lot of advantages to exploit.”

 

He nodded. “Agreed.” He raised his eyes to look directly at me. “You ready for this?”

 

I was a little puzzled at his question. “What do you mean?”

 

Nate chuckled. “You’re coming with me, of course.”

 

I physically felt my face blanche. “Nate, I …”

 

“You kept it together at Park Street with those Triggermen. You helped me get Nick here out of that old Vault. And Mirelurks don’t shoot back, at least,” he added with a grin.

 

“But the Queen …”

 

He shrugged. “You just told me exactly how to handle her. You afraid it won’t work?”

 

I shook my head. I’d employed that strategy many a time in game and it had always worked flawlessly, but … well, hearing that roar she always gave off when she emerged from the water was not really something I wanted to actually hear in my real life. “No, I know it will work, I just …”

 

“Hey, don’t worry. If she starts getting close, just hop inside the Castle. You said yourself she can’t get in there.”

 

I nodded, my heart rate already starting to pick up. I was really uncomfortable with where this was going, but I didn’t really feel like I had much of a choice.

 

Nick leaned back in his chair. “You want another helping hand?”

 

“You offering?” Nate asked.

 

“Well, I’ve been holed up the past couple of weeks in a Vault, and my little jaunt today only took me as far as Goodneighbor, so I’m due for a nice little walk to stretch my legs.”

 

“Alright, then, I won’t say no if you wanna tag along.”

 

Everything was settled, then. The Castle was about to be retaken, and not only did I have a helping hand in planning it, I was about to witness it first hand. _Hooray?_ Somehow I was not quite as excited as I probably should have been, but it was likely just the lingering worry of how _I_ was going to survive this whole thing. Not that I didn’t trust Nate or Nick or Preston or any of the Minutemen, but … they all had themselves to worry about without also having to worry about some city girl from a non-nuclear wasteland. Heh, well, I say _girl_ , but I was really twenty-eight, just two years shy of thirty. An almost thirty year old retail shop manager from Winnipeg, Manitoba, with just a little over a week’s worth of shooting training. _I am well and truly fucked, aren’t I?_

 

Nothing more I could do about it now, though. We stayed in Diamond City for the rest of the day, allowing Nate the chance to rest and recoup and Preston the time to round up who he needed to before we headed out to the rendezvous point in the morning. I told Nate about seeing Deacon in the Dugout Inn, and while I wasn’t sure how he would take it - I was always overanalyzing scenarios in my mind and I hoped he wouldn’t be angry with me for taking initiative to speak for the Minutemen - he ended up being quite thrilled about it. “Excellent!” he exclaimed. “I’m actually quite glad to have registered on their radar. That’s what we wanted, right?”

 

I nodded. “Anything to build a little rapport _before_ we meet is good, I think.”

 

“Fantastic. Can’t wait to meet this Desdemona, then.”

 

I could only hope, then, that the information I could give her would satisfy her paranoia enough to allow her to ally with us. I had information on safe houses, agents, all kinds of things she would be interested to know and also things she could confirm independently to verify I was telling the truth, up to and including the abandonment of the Switchboard and Carrington’s prototype that they’d been forced to leave behind. Of course, nothing was certain, especially when Dez was concerned, but I held out hope that my little run in with Deacon would help tip the scales in our favour. If I was being honest, I was almost sure it would. It just had to.

 

Nick offered to let Nate take his bed for the night - since, as he put it, he didn’t really need a bed, only a chair or something to lean against for his rest cycle and he’d only gotten a bed to feel more human - but Nate declined and said he was more than happy visiting the Dugout Inn. I got one more night at Valentine’s office, though, since Ellie skedaddled on us to spend time with her boyfriend, Mickey. He seemed to make her happy, and it made me happy to see some of the “behind the scenes” kind of things that happened outside of what a player character could see while playing. It just made the whole world more real, more fleshed out, though why shouldn’t it be? It _was_ real now.

 

There was a certain comforting, satisfying feel as I settled down in Ellie’s bed that night, and while I couldn’t initially pinpoint it, I realized that it was being back in a city … or about the closest thing to it. I had never been a country girl, had been born and raised around Winnipeg. Maybe for some there was a certain comfort in the fields and forests and wide open space, but I personally yearned for the concrete jungle and the familiarity of close quarters with other people. And, for better or for worse, that was what I had in Diamond City. Despite the security of Valentine’s office, I could faintly hear the hum of activity just outside, even if it was just security guards making rounds or drunken revellers stumbling home. More than anything, this place was comforting and made me homesick, and I suddenly dreaded leaving it. Maybe, some day, I could return to it … if I didn’t get whisked back into my world again.

 

I was woken up before dawn by Nate shaking me awake. “Hey, we gotta go ahead and get going, don’t wanna leave Preston waiting too long.”

 

The only response I could give was to sleepily nod and Nate let me be as I sat up, rubbed my face, then pulled on my boots and made a quick pit stop in the bathroom before I grabbed my bag and followed him and Nick out into the darkness.

 

The early morning air was almost eerily still as we made our way out of Fenway Park. The scrape of our shoes against the pavement was the only sound that cut through the silence as Nate and I followed Nick on what he promised was the safest route to the little diner that Nate had promised Preston they’d meet up at. I knew from experience that raiders and super mutants dotted the environment, and it was difficult to maneuver just about anywhere without running into something. But Nick, true to his word, took us on a winding path that, while not the most direct at all, was completely free from any unsavoury encounters. The extra time it took was worth the ammo we saved, as we would need it at the Castle.

 

Though I trusted Nick and his skills, I still kept my head on a bit of a swivel, though only partly to look out for trouble. It was fascinating to see all the ruins of such a large, metropolitan area sprawled out and laid bare. I had never been to Boston in my world, so I had no real comparison to what it had been before or what it could have been prior to the nuclear smackdown it took, but past the dust and the rubble there were spots where I could almost see what it had been, like looking at the bones of a skeleton and knowing the general shape of who they had belonged to. There were stories around every corner, many of them tragic, but all of them frozen in time. I wondered, if a similar cataclysm befell my world, what kinds of stories survivors might see fifty, one hundred, two hundred years down the line …

 

Preston and company had beat us to the diner, thankfully no worse for the wear, and they had been able to bring the junk and equipment we would need to set up generators for the power and also bolster the defences so we could keep what we were about to take. For now, it sat in a large sack that Preston had set next to what was left of the counter, along with some ammo and grenades and mines and other supplies that we would need. Looking at the spread made me nervous, knowing that this was not going to be an easy fight, so I swallowed and did my best to look away for the moment.

 

Nate greeted the Minutemen who had gathered as General, and he surprised me a little by introducing me as his Major general. I hadn’t been expecting the introduction, but I smiled and nodded not wanting to seem like I didn’t belong, even though I didn’t quite feel like I did. Nate didn’t wait long between the introductions and getting down into the meat of the plan, of which he fully credited me for coming up with most of it. I was a little surprised, but I appreciated it. It made me feel like I really was contributing, at least in some way, even if I wasn’t a great shot and not much help with actually taking out enemies. Preston and the others listened intently and nodded as it was all laid out, asking questions where appropriate but otherwise not questioning the plan itself. Once everything was settled, Nate grabbed my small pack and stuffed all the gathered mines into it before handing it back to me. “I’m putting you in charge of placing the mines. When we get in there, and the courtyard starts getting cleared, go ahead and go set them.”

 

I was a little surprised that he was delegating that job to me, but I accepted my pack and nodded. “Yes, General.”

 

He then turned to Nick and instructed, “While she’s setting out the mines, I want you to cover her, make sure nothing tries to follow her out there. We’ll try to contain it in the courtyard, but just in case.”

 

The synth detective nodded. “I can handle that,” he replied as he took out his .44 pistol and checked his ammo.

 

“Alright,” Nate concluded. “You all have your assignments, you know what we’re going to do. Watch each other’s back out there and let’s do this clean, okay?”

 

There was a chorus of “Yes, sir!” that rang through the diner before we broke and scattered, each of us getting into position for the assault. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest it felt like it would bruise my ribs from the force, and I gripped my pistol tightly. Nate had given me the 10mm he’d been carrying after he started carrying Kellogg’s gun full time, and I checked and double checked that it was full of ammo before I switched off the safety. It was go time now, and the afternoon air was tense with anticipation as we gradually all got into position, like the world itself was holding its breath while it watched this play out. I squinted slightly in the bright sunlight, watching and waiting as Nate made his way over to one part of the ruined wall, the one that we would use as an entry point into the courtyard. Once he crept up to the wall, he turned to count us all and make sure we were all where we were supposed to be, and once he confirmed that, he raised his gun and fired the first shot.

 

The Mirelurks responded almost immediately, getting up from their nests in search of the disturbance, and Nick and I did our best to help pick them off as the others swarmed the courtyard to take them on head on. Once they were, I conserved my shots, knowing I was not the best and not wanting to accidentally shoot one of our own men. Nick was far better, and kept up his barrage while I waited to shoot until I saw a Mirelurk pop out a decent distance away from anyone. Once most of them in the courtyard were taken care of, that was my cue, and I rushed in with Nick on my heels, heading for the other part of the ruined wall where the Mirelurk Queen would pop up at. My hands were shaking as I switched the safety on for my gun and stashed it in my pack before I started pulling mines out and carefully placing them before switching them on. Nick stood with his back to me, keeping an eye out for me while I placed them, and while I was in a very vulnerable position, I felt as safe as ever with the synth watching over me, knowing that nothing was going to touch me. I jumped and almost fumbled one of the mines when Nick’s gun went off right behind me as he shot at an encroaching Mirelurk, but I thankfully recovered before I dropped it right on top of one of the other mines I’d placed. That would have definitely been a disaster, though I wouldn’t have been around long enough to actually see it. My heart pounded in my throat as I refused to dwell on what could have just gone wrong, forcingmyself to focus on the task at hand no matter how much I just wanted to crawl into a corner and hyperventilate. I promised myself that I could freak out as much as I wanted to later, when this whole thing was over with, but for now - just for now - I had to fucking keep it together.

 

I had just set down the last mine in my pack, when the Mirelurk Queen burst out of the water like a whale surfacing for air. I yelped and stumbled backward, almost tumbling over Nick in my scramble to get the fuck out of the way. The synth detective’s reflexes were incomparable as he whirled around and had me by my shoulder as he helped simultaneously get to my feet and also dragged me away and into the courtyard. Preston was already at the gap in the wall, his laser musket pointed at the Queen as he shouted at us to get behind me, and we weren’t about to protest as Nick pulled me past him before Preston started backing up, covering our retreat. At the same time, Nate came running out of the Castle, missile launcher in hand as he hurriedly worked to load it up and get into position at the same time. As he stood at the gap at aimed at the Queen, the rest of the Minutemen gathered behind him, some of them with their backs to him as they covered him, others facing the Queen with him and firing off what shots they could while Nate carefully lined up his.

 

My heart pounded away in my throat no matter how hard I swallowed, and I did my best to brace for impact as Nate fired the first missile at the Queen. The resulting explosion rocked the ground and almost sent me tumbling to my knees if it hadn’t been for Nick helping support me. The hit wounded her, but didn’t quite take her down as she kept advancing, and Nate hurried to reload as he backed up, the posse of Minutemen following his every move. As the Queen reached land, she triggered the mines I’d had laid out and the resulting explosion made both Nick and I lose our footing as we tumbled to the hard ground beneath us. A couple of the Minutemen also fell, and Nate and Preston had taken to a knee to keep control over the worst of the impact. The Queen wasn’t down just yet, but she was limping bad, and the last missile that Nate fired did her in. Nick and I hadn’t even bothered getting up as the last explosion roared in the air, and I flinched heavily as I clung to the synth detective as we rode out the aftershocks.

 

Nate whooped as he jumped to his feet, pumping his fist in the air as he celebrated. Nick and I helped the other up and the detective asked me, “Are you alright?”

 

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m … I’m good.” Surprisingly good. Maybe it was the rush of the moment, but I felt almost giddy as I chuckled. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

 

Nick winked at me as he said, “It helps to have a good plan beforehand.”

 

The celebration was boisterous but somewhat short-lived as we knew we had to get back down to work, clearing out whatever remaining Mirelurks were still around and building generators and defences. I volunteered to fetch the pack with the equipment, as it was only a short distance away, and Nick followed me as the rest of the Minutemen finished clearing the egg caches and nests that still lingered.

 

As I stepped into the diner, I could almost immediately tell someone else was there, and I whirled around, pulling my gun out of my pack even though I still had the safety on, immediately finding my target lurking in the shadows.

 

“Whoa, whoa, hold on, I’m friendly!” the figure exclaimed, and as it emerged from the shadows I realized it was Deacon, dressed as a generic wastelander.

 

I breathed out a sigh as a laugh and dropped the gun back down to my side. “Fuck, Deacon, you scared the shit out of me.”

 

“That makes two of us,” he commented, eyeing Nick warily as the detective still held his pistol on him.

 

“It’s okay,” I assured Nick. “He’s with the Railroad.” Nick nodded and dropped his gun as well, though he kept his eye on the spy, which was to be expected. I turned back to Deacon and asked, “What are you doing here?”

 

Deacon smirked. “Just keeping an eye on things. That was impressive, you know, taking out that Mirelurk Queen the way you guys did. And no casualties. Very impressive.”

 

“Impressive enough to garner a meeting with the Railroad?”

 

“Always straight to the point, huh?” he chuckled, pointedly not answering the question as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a holotape. Handing it over to me, he simply said, “Give that to your General. I think he’ll be happy.”

 

_That means yes._ I smirked as I nodded. “Will do. Thanks, Deacon.”

 

“Don’t mention it,” he replied, flashing his signature smile before he slipped out the door and back into the wasteland.

 

Nick didn’t waste much time after Deacon left, only waiting until the spy was out of earshot before he asked, “Was that who you met in Diamond City?”

 

“Yup,” I replied, smiling at the holotape in my hand. Between the battle that we’d just come out on top of and the impending meeting that Deacon was helping orchestrate with Desdemona on my behalf, I felt like I was on top of the world. Maybe that feeling was a little premature, but I couldn’t find it in me to care as I tucked it away carefully in my pack and hoisted the bag of supplies on my shoulder. I was going to enjoy this fucking victory or else.


	6. Saving the world

_ We're far from home, it's for the better, _

_ What we dream, it's all that matters, _

_ We're on our way, united ... _

 

_ ~~ "Save the World", Swedish House Mafia _

 

\---------

 

Nate looked a little puzzled as I handed him the holotape right as I walked up to him after fetching the pack of supplies, and I chuckled. “Had another run-in with the Railroad. He said to give that to you.”

 

“Ah. So they want to meet, then?”

 

“Probably. If so, then the holotape likely contains the details.”

 

He nodded. “I’ll give it a listen to once we’re finished with this.” And with that, he took the pack from me and started rifling through it, handing out equipment and delegating tasks to other Minutemen. I was temporarily out of something to do, so I roamed the grounds with Nick, ensuring all the egg caches had been thoroughly taken care of. Most of the eggs had been either smashed or set ablaze, but Nick and I managed to find a couple still intact. Thankfully nothing burst from them, and we were able to head off any potential problems in the future by destroying them. Hatchlings weren’t a huge deal, but if allowed to grow they became problems, so it was best to head that off at the pass before that could happen.

 

Nate and the others had a couple of generators up and running in no time, so the radio was turned on and another was connected to the panel that powered the inside of the Castle as well. Once that was done, a couple of Minutemen started looking in on the latrine, double checking to make sure everything was intact and usable before anyone used it and made any potential problems even worse. A non-working toilet? Annoying, but could be dealt with. A non-working toilet full of shit? Much, much worse. Between them and the Minutemen who were scouring the kitchen of any grime and unusable food so that meals could be prepared, it seemed like everyone else had a job to do but Nick and I, and it felt weird. We weren’t left twiddling our thumbs for long, however, as Nate found us roaming and pulled us into the old General’s office before shutting the door behind him. Preston was already in the room waiting, his hat off and sitting on the table as he lounged on a still-intact chair.

 

“I wanted you all to be here when I played this,” Nate explained, pulling out the holotape I gave him and putting it in his Pip Boy.

 

Desdemona’s voice came over the recording, as clear as day. “General, I’ve been informed by a trusted source of mine that you want to meet with me and that you have important information for the Railroad relating to synths. I hope you forgive me if I seem wary, but paranoia has served us well.” A pause, and then. “Honestly, if it wasn’t for my source thoroughly vetting you as they did, I wouldn’t even consider this. If you are serious about a meet, there will be a dead drop with the details in a marked mailbox outside of Bunker Hill. If your Major general knows as much as she lets on … she’ll know what to look for.”

 

The recording then fizzed out and I couldn’t control the urge to roll my eyes. “Figures Dez wouldn’t make this easy.”

 

“You know what she’s talking about, then?” Nate asked.

 

I nodded. I’d been to the same dead drop in game many a time and knew exactly where it was and what to look for.

 

“Good.” Nate sighed as he added in a mumble, “I just hope this isn’t a wild goose chase.”

 

“I don’t think it is,” I encouraged. “If Dez was too suspicious, she’d ghost us completely.”

 

“Well that is one way to look at it,” Preston commented.

 

“Alright, well, if we have to go to a dead drop _and_ a meeting, then we’ll probably want to leave first thing in the morning. Preston, you said there are some settlers on the way?”

 

The Lieutenant general nodded. “Yeah, there’s a few coming from a couple of different settlements, they couldn’t spare much but they’re bringing what they can for supplies and man power so we can get the Castle up and running properly. They’re due to come in by tonight.”

 

“Good, so we can confirm their arrival before we leave. Excellent.” Nate clapped his hands together. “Well, I guess that’s it. Let’s take a moment, relax while we can, and we’ll leave out at first light.”

 

Sure enough, a small group of settlers arrived just at dusk, bringing food, water, and enough supplies to set up several turrets and also make use of the Castle’s proximity to water by building a water purifier in said water. It eliminated a lot of unnecessary hard work that they would have had to otherwise perform digging for water and also ended up giving them more water, so more bang for their buck. The kitchen was also up and running and fully operational, and so was the bathroom, including a small tub. Since we would be leaving in the morning, we were given the preference for a wash-up, and Nate and Preston graciously deferred to me to take the first one. As before, in Sanctuary, there wasn’t a way to heat up any water, so I took the plunge quickly and got it over with before I scrubbed my hair and body and rinsed. I at least had clean underwear that I’d snagged while in Diamond City, and I took the chance to do a quick wash of the blue jumpsuit that Nate had given me. I still had the clothes that I’d woken up in my first day here, so I didn’t have to walk around naked. I’d probably be cold for a bit, but it was worth it for clean clothes.

 

Or so I told myself until I walked out of the bathroom and got blasted in the face with a cold gust of wind coming off of the water. I gulped and took a moment to compose myself, regretting my lust for having a clean jumpsuit. There was nothing to it now, though, what was done was done and I couldn’t very well put it back on wet, so I had no choice but to quickly make my way back to the General’s quarters, which was where we were all going to be holed up for the night. Ordinarily, Nate would have the quarters to himself, but since we were all leaving so early in the morning, he figured it would be better to have us all in the same room, that way we wouldn’t disturb anyone on our way out. Once I ducked in, Nate ducked out to take his own bath, and I hung my jumpsuit up on an armoire so it would dry. Hopefully. Though, I held out hope that whatever future tech allowed it to be super thin and warm also facilitated it drying quickly.

 

Nate apparently had a similar idea, or was inspired by mine, as he came back wearing a white shirt and some grey sweats, his damp Vaultsuit in tow. Preston left right after and Nate hung his suit up to dry next to mine. I had grabbed a blanket that one of the settlers had brought in and wrapped it around myself, sealing out most of the cold. Nate didn’t seem too bothered by it, but that could have been because he wore a thick pair of sweats instead of a thin pair of capri leggings. Just a little more coverage could make all the difference, really, and I wished for my own pair to snuggle up in. Soon after Preston returned - changed into a fresh uniform, himself - one of the settlers brought in some food for us. It was a large brahmin steak to split between us along with some random vegetables, but fuck it was fresh food and not some canned shit and I was all for it. In the end, I was nice and tight, and more than ready to curl up and go to sleep. I think the others felt the same way, because after a brief run to the bathroom they all settled down. There weren’t any beds yet, just sleep rolls, but Nate ended up taking a spot where I normally put a bed in the room and Preston took a spot near the door. I pulled mine out opposite his, and as I was about to get in, I realized that Nick had nowhere to post up. “What about you?” I asked, not wanting my synth buddy to feel left out.

 

He chuckled. “Don’t worry about me, doll, I’ll just sit right here. I don’t need a sleep roll to get some rest.” With that, he lowered himself to the floor by my head, leaning his back against the wall. Satisfied that he had a spot for the night, I finished getting comfortable in my own spot and settled down, gently lulled into sleep by a full stomach.

 

It was Nick who shook me awake the next morning, whispering, “Lia, it’s time.” I nodded sleepily and yawned, rubbing my eyes as I sat up. A small lightbulb in the corner of the room had been switched on, providing a soft light that wasn’t glaring and provided just enough light to see without blinding. Nate and Preston were already up and gone, probably tending to their morning needs. Nate’s suit was gone from the armoire, and as I reached up to finger mine, I was quite pleased to find it bone dry. I whipped it down and bit my lip, wondering if I should wait to put it on. The cool morning air was already giving me goosebumps, though, and I figured fuck it and turned to Nick.

 

“Um, do you mind turning around for a sec? I need to get dressed.

 

I swear, if a synth prototype could blush, he would have. He graciously turned his back without a word and I peeled off my regular clothes and pulled on the Vaultsuit, tugging and pulling it into place before I zipped it up most of the way. I was finished before Nate and Preston even got back, and I tapped Nick on the shoulder to let him know it was all clear before I rolled up my sleep roll and stashed it back in my pack, along with my regular clothes.

 

We were on the road within fifteen minutes, after Nate and Preston had re-upped on food and ammo. Preston even handed me another few packs of 10mm rounds and Nate gave Nick some extra ammo as well. We would follow Nick’s lead, but always better to be safe. Nothing worse than getting pinned down by an enemy you didn’t expect and not have enough ammunition to take care of them. In game, I would have just sprinted away, but in real life you didn’t always get that chance. Fortunately, our preparedness didn’t come into play and we made it to Bunker Hill around mid-morning. From there, I took the lead.

 

Nick stuck close to me, as did Preston, and Nate brought up the rear, keeping an eye out on things and covering our back. The coverage allowed me the chance to focus and be sure of where we were going, and it took me no time flat to find that familiar mailbox that Desdemona had been referring to. “There!” I pointed it out, tapping the side with the painted symbol once I drew near. “This is a Railroad symbol, it means this is the one.”

 

“Alright, well stand clear just in case,” Nate cautioned, looking around before sticking his hand inside. He felt around for a few moments and then withdrew, a small pouch with a holotape in his hand. He raised his eyebrows. “I guess I should have stopped being surprised a long time ago,” he muttered, taking the holotape and looking around us one more time before he stuck it in his Pip Boy and hit play.

 

Dez’s voice came over the speakers, more hushed than the previous recording. “Goodneighbor, Hotel Rexford. Ask for Glory.”

 

That was the extent of the message. Nate chuckled and shook his head. “I hope one of you knows what she’s talking about.”

 

Nick spoke up this time. “I’m quite familiar with Goodneighbor. Ordinarily you’ll wanna watch your back there, but if you’re with me, you’ll probably be left alone.”

 

“Guess it’s a good thing you decided to tag along,” Nate said with an appreciative smile.

 

Nick tipped his hat. “Just glad to be of service.”

 

The trip to Goodneighbor took several more hours, especially since we took one of Nick’s routes that avoided any raider gangs or super mutant holdings. We did stumble upon one gathering of ferals wandering the streets, but between us all we took them down easily. I even managed to shoot one in the face … though, that was partly because it was bearing down directly on me. We walked into the settlement as early evening was setting in, and I wondered briefly if we would be accosted by Finn or not. He was nowhere to be seen, and I wasn’t sure if I was glad to not be waylaid or disappointed that we would miss meeting Hancock. He was my second favourite companion in the game, and while in real life his drug use would turn me away from pursuing him, I frequently romanced him in game. Out of the vanilla options for a relationship, he was probably my favourite and one I’d pick up pretty much immediately. The prospect of meeting him for real, though … well, let’s just say I had mixed feelings about it.

 

Nobody accosted us as we made our way through the town, however, and we made it to Hotel Rexford in peace. Nate approached the counter and smiled genially before he dropped his voice and began, “I’m looking for Glory … ?”

 

Clair nodded, leaning forward as she replied, “Third floor, last room on the left.”

 

Nate slipped her some caps for her trouble and we all followed him up to the third floor. I wondered if the Vault-Tec rep was here, but if he was he didn’t make an appearance before we made it to the end of the hallway. Nate took a quick breath and nodded to us to keep a look out before he raised his hand to knock, three solid loud knocks that couldn’t be ignored. Deacon opened the door a crack, looked around to confirm who it was, then opened the door to let us in. Nate went first, followed by myself and then Preston and Nick behind us. As we entered, however, I noticed that Desdemona was nowhere to be found. It was only Deacon and Glory in the room and no one else. I rolled my eyes, really not having the whole underhanded tactics. “Okay, what’s the deal?”

 

“What deal?” Deacon asked innocently, if he could be said to say anything in an innocent manner.

 

“We were supposed to meet Desdemona, and that’s not Desdemona, that’s Glory.” I paused to turn and say, “Hi Glory,” before I turned back to Deacon and asked, “So what’s the deal? She not want to meet us or what?”

 

Deacon chuckled and shook his head. “You’re too observant for your own good, Major general. Dez is here, and she does want to meet. But she wanted to make sure you guys weren’t followed or anything fishy wasn’t going down on your end before she makes her appearance.”

 

I sighed wearily before I muttered, “Figures we’d have to jump through these damn hoops.”

 

“Are we going to be waiting long?” Nate asked.

 

Deacon smiled. “Nah. Dez wants to be in and out of Goodneighbor before sundown. She rarely makes appearances on the outside, so she has to be careful and be quick when she does.”

 

I bit my lip as I tried to think of one instance of seeing Desdemona outside of HQ - other than when they stormed the Institute - but I wasn’t coming up with anything. Maybe I had been pushing things when I asked to meet … though I’d honestly thought that we would have met at Old North Church instead of playing with dead drops and random locations. But Desdemona’s paranoia knew no bounds, and so we hunkered down to wait however long she wanted to keep us waiting.

 

As it turned out, she let us sit for about fifteen minutes. After that, we heard a strange knock on the door … a total of six knocks that started with a quick knock, a long one, then another quick one, followed by the same pattern. Deacon immediately answered it with no hesitation, and I guessed it must have been some secret knock between them because he didn’t even check who it was before he opened the door to let them in. Sure enough, Desdemona herself walked in, a hood covering her head that she only pulled back once Deacon had closed the door behind her. Her eyes swept the room, lingering on us in particular for a moment before she spoke. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting, I hope you understand the need for discretion on my part. I’m Desdemona, the leader of the Railroad.”

 

Nate took point, for now, since he _was_ the leader of our group. “I’m Nathan Howard, General of the Minutemen. This is Preston Garvey, my Lieutenant general, and Lia Bauer, my Major General. And this is our associate, Nick Valentine.”

 

She nodded to each of us as we were introduced before she said, “Deacon said something about an alliance? That’s not something we normally do, and I’m not sure what information you’re offering in exchange for this.”

 

"I understand, but I hope you’ll be willing to make an exception once you hear what we have to say,” Nate began, then smirked as he added, “Well, really my Major general, here.”

 

And with that, he seemed to hand the reigns over to me. So I stepped up and began the story that I felt like I’d told a hundred times before, where I was from, how I knew everyone and seemingly everything, and how everything was _supposed_ to play out … but how we could manipulate it so everyone came out on top. Where all the synths were freed and the Institute’s technology helped the people of the Commonwealth, where the Railroad and Minutemen worked together to keep everyone supplied and informed. How we could use that might as leverage against the Brotherhood of Steel who were due in the Commonwealth any day now. In my heart of hearts, I still didn’t know how that whole thing was going to go down … best case scenario, I could convince Arthur to join us and rebuild. I had a feeling, though, that we would end up using our combined forces to convince him to leave without a struggle. Worst case … well, I already knew that an infiltration mission to blow up the Prydwen would work. I just really didn’t want to have to do that. I hoped that, at the very least, I could convince Arthur to take the Brotherhood back to the Capitol and leave the Commonwealth alone. If I could accomplish more than that, then it would just be the cherry on top.

 

I also confided in Desdemona things that nobody outside of the Railroad would know, about Patriot and his true identity - though even Dez didn’t know who he was yet - and about Ticonderoga and the risk it stood in the near future. I also told her about the Switchboard underneath Slocum Joe’s, that Carrington’s prototype had been left behind and that someone needed to retrieve it. I was hoping that, since the mission one had to do in order to join the Railroad involved fetching the prototype, that she would be amenable to allowing Nate and Deacon to clear out the place as a show of good faith. She seemed quite … well, impressed, for lack of a better word. And intrigued as to my level of knowledge. After I was finished explaining just about everything I could think of, I gave her some quiet to process everything. I was curious to see her reaction, and I could only hope that it would be favourable.

 

After a few minute’s silence, she finally spoke, the first time she had since she’d walked in the room. “Alright, I hear you, and … and somehow I believe you. I just have one question for _you_ … why? Why help us?”

 

This was an easy question for me. “Because I believe in your cause, and I believe in the Minutemen’s cause. I mean, if we’re talking straight up muscle, the Brotherhood of Steel would be who to align with, but I can’t agree with their stance on synths and non-feral ghouls. If no one else could come out on top, I’d still throw my hat in with you. But I think we _can_ come out better, I think _all_ of the people of the Commonwealth can come out better, synth and human and non-feral ghoul alike, if we all just work together.” I took a small step toward her. “The Railroad’s goal is noble, but you lack a true direction to go in, with attainable goals along the way. With my knowledge, we can change that, and we can do it a whole helluva lot better than if you did it all alone. Truthfully … at this point, the Minutemen don’t _need_ the Railroad. But we _want_ to work with you. And I hope, after hearing all this, you’ll want to work with us, too.”

 

Desdemona took her time to think, and in that space I started to get nervous. What if I hadn’t said enough? What if I was too direct in my approach? Should I have eased it in for her a little more? Deacon and Glory were likewise unreadable, and they simply waited for Dez’s decision. It all hinged on her word, and if she didn’t buy it, we lost out on a valuable ally. Sure, we could take over the Institute and free the synths on our own, but the Railroad’s help would still be invaluable, especially once we went up against the Brotherhood.

 

Finally, Dez took a breath and said, “Well, this is … highly irregular. But, I think you’re right, I can’t pass up an opportunity like this.” She looked at Nate and said, “Our first order of business is retrieving Carrington’s prototype, along with whatever else you can grab at the Switchboard. After that, I think our working relationship can officially begin. In the meantime,” she turned to me, “I’d like you to accompany Glory back to HQ. I think our agents would benefit greatly from picking your brain.”

 

I nodded. “Just let me help them plan out the infiltration and I’ll be right there.”

 

Dez seemed amenable to that. “Very well, just don’t dally too long out here. Goodneighbor is relatively safe for us, but we can never be too careful. As for myself, I’ve been out of HQ long enough.” She pulled up her hood as she bade us goodbye, letting Deacon check the hallway for her before she slipped out.

 

As he closed the door, Deacon flashed me a smile. “Well, well, I’m impressed. Not many people can get Desdemona to change their mind.”

 

I chuckled. “I wouldn’t have had a chance if it wasn’t for you putting in a good word for me.”

 

He let it go for the time being as he turned to Nate and said, “Well, it sounds like it’s you and me.”

 

“Yeah. Oh by the way,” Nate said as he threw an amused smirk my way, “thanks for volunteering me for a mission.”

 

I shrugged. “I figured turn about’s fair play,” I countered with a wink and he laughed. He’d roped me into the last couple of missions so he didn’t have a leg to stand on, and he knew it. But, even though I wasn’t personally involved, I was going to give them all the edge I could, walking them through it as if I was there. The prospect of clearing out the Switchboard with only two people was a lot more daunting in real life than a video game, but with my knowledge and their combined skills, I had great faith in them. Clapping my hands together, ready to get down to business, I blew out a breath and simply said, “Let’s get started, shall we?”


	7. The only prize worth winning

_Life's a game made for everyone,_

_And love is a prize ..._

 

_~~ "Wake me up", Avicii_

 

 

\---------

 

The rest of the evening was spent plotting and planning the infiltration of the Switchboard. Nate listened intently to everything I told him and rarely interjected, completely used to my thoroughness and the way I would cover everything they would need to know. Deacon, however, wasn’t used to that, and asked me questions almost non-stop. I knew he didn’t trust me like Nate did, and while I didn’t begrudge his own thoroughness, it did make our meeting run overly long. About the only good thing that came about with that is when Nate left to pick up everyone some food, he ran into the Vault-Tec rep - just as I had advised he might - and he was able to convince him to join the rest of the settlers in Sanctuary. Preston would help lead him there the next day, so that was the Lieutenant general sorted, as he’d been wanting to go back there and check on the settlers anyway.

 

That really just left Nick, and while I assumed he would head on back to Diamond City, I wasn’t looking forward to him leaving just yet. Of course, that was bound to happen sooner or later, but now that we were at what looked like the crossroads, it tugged at my heart a little harder than I’d thought. I’d tried to deny what all I’d been feeling since the second I set eyes on him in that Vault, but it was getting harder and harder to not think about it, and the impending separation didn’t help my mood any as I started getting grumpier and grumpier as the evening wore on.

 

As the planning finally wrapped up and Nate and Deacon retired to a separate room to rest up for tomorrow’s festivities, I found myself feeling a bit lost. Glory kicked us out of her room - nothing against us personally, she just wasn’t a fan of sharing sleeping space with people she didn’t know - and so I walked down to the front desk and paid Clair for a room of my own. Nick had followed behind me at a distance, and I figured he was waiting to say goodbye, but with the way I was deep in my feelings, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to hear it, wasn’t sure I could hear it without bursting into tears. And why, I couldn’t quite explain. I mean, yes, I felt things for him, things that most people would describe as love and longing, but their intensity surprised even me. Thinking back through my previous relationships, I couldn’t remember anyone else I’d felt this strongly for. Any other real life relationship I could recall was more like smouldering coals, but this burned bigger and brighter by the day and I wasn’t sure how to handle it.

 

Instead of heading up to my room, I turned and made my way for the front door. I didn’t intend on going very far - I wasn’t near brave enough to go into the Third Rail alone - but I just wanted some fresh air. Something about standing outside in the cool night air seemed welcoming, like I could work out all my problems if I just got a chance to stand there and breathe. “Where are you going?”

 

The question almost made me jump out of my skin, and I couldn’t help the small squeak that escaped before I managed to get out, “Nowhere. Just wanted some fresh air is all.” And with that I opened the door and stepped through, only going as far forward as the sidewalk laid and as soon as it sloped away into the street I stopped. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked up at the night sky, the stars just barely visible for all the light and pollution that clogged the air. One would have thought that so long after a nuclear meltdown that it wouldn’t be very polluted, but you would be wrong. The advent of generators and whatever else people relied on for power still put out smoke a lot of the time, and so the air wasn’t really that much less polluted than it had been before. If anything, the radiation likely made it worse. I was surprised that I hadn’t needed to take anything to prevent sickness from it, but I supposed I likely hadn’t been near enough to any hot spots for it to matter. Now, if I was going to the Glowing Sea, then I’d definitely need to stock up. But for now, I was fine.

 

The door closed behind me, and I glanced around to see who it was, to make sure it wasn’t anyone who would shank me from behind and rob me for all I was worth. When I saw the familiar trench coat and glowing yellow eyes, I turned back around and set my sights back on the stars above me. This was it, I could feel it was coming, the inevitable goodbye. Well, at least I had a room I could run back to and cry my eyes out in peace. _There ya go, Lia, looking on the bright side._ Nick lit a cigarette and simply stood beside me silently for a little while, not saying anything. _I wonder what he’s waiting for? He’s had to have said goodbye dozens, if not hundreds of times before, surely it can’t be that hard … right?_ A very small voice in the back of my head suggested, _Maybe he doesn’t want to say goodbye. Maybe he wants to stay with you._ I quickly countered that with, _Ridiculous. Why would he want to stay with me, of all people? You barely know him and he barely knows you. Sure, he saved you from Mirelurks and the Queen, but he’s the kind of guy who would do that for anyone._ Despite that, though, the way he’d held onto me when I had stumbled, the way he kept his arms around me while the aftershocks of the explosions rocked around us … _You’re thinking way too much into this. You don’t even know if he’s capable of feeling something like … like_ that _. Sure, he has old Nick’s personality, but the game never said how advanced his own AI is or exactly what differentiates him from a regular gen 2 synth aside from the implanted personality and memories. You’re in love with an idea, Lia, nothing more._ That thought, perhaps more than any other, cut the deepest, causing me to suck in a sharp breath upon its realization.

 

I was so lost in my own thoughts that the feeling of a hand on my shoulder made me jump. It was only Nick, of course, but I’d somehow forgotten he was still there, standing right next to me, casually smoking a cigarette. “You okay, doll?”

 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, Nick.”

 

“You sure?” he pressed, the ever-knowing detective sensing that something was up. “You’ve gotten pretty withdrawn the later it’s gotten. Far be it for me to pry where I’m not wanted, but seems to me like something’s on your mind.”

 

I sighed. “I have … a lot of things on my mind.” It was true, technically. I was always thinking ahead, always planning, rarely taking a break from it. The night in Diamond City that I spent with Nick was the only time since I’d arrived in the Commonwealth that I’d actually taken a real break. Any other time, even during downtime or fits of leisure, I was still thinking, trying to remember any helpful details, plan out what would be the most ideal next move. Then why did that answer sound like such a lie? _Because the biggest thing on your mind is the man right beside you._ Right, that.

 

Nick probably knew it was something more specific, but he didn’t push. Instead, he put an arm around my shoulder and said, “Why don’t we go back up to your room, huh? Sit down and relax. From the sound of things, you haven’t had much of an opportunity for that.”

 

Even as he lead me through the hotel doors, I still had to ask, my heart nor my head willing to jump to a potentially painful conclusion. “Aren’t you going to leave?”

 

“Why would I?”

 

“I mean, we’re close to Diamond City, and you only said you would help with the Castle …”

 

Nick chuckled as he took the key from me and unlocked the door to my room, ushering me inside and closing it behind him before he answered. “Yeah, I said I’d help with the Castle. I like Nate well enough and his mission with the Minutemen. But truth be told … I went with him for _you_.”

 

I was flabbergasted. “For me? Why?”

 

He shrugged, looking around like he was suddenly nervous. “There was just something about you, something about what you wanted to do, to help a whole world you aren’t even from … I really admired it, and I’ll follow you as long as you want me to. And, maybe I’m just reading too much into things, but I think you’d rather see a familiar, friendly face in that Railroad HQ than be surrounded by strangers.”

 

It was heartbreakingly sweet, but not quite the confession my heart had been yearning to hear. But, he would be sticking by me for the time being, so that was a definite plus. I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth, even if said horse felt nothing beyond friendship for me. I nodded and tried to force a smile as I said, “Yeah, I would like that. Thanks, Nick.”

 

Somehow, that was the wrong thing to say as he shook his head and muttered, “You don’t have to take me along if you don’t want to. I wouldn’t want to be a burden.”

 

“No, no you aren’t a burden, Nick, I … I _want_ you to come with me.” I sighed as I sat on the sagging couch, wondering if I could be really honest for a minute. Could I really do this? Could I tell Nick how I felt? What if he didn’t feel the same way? Or _couldn’t_ feel the same way? Maybe he hadn’t been a romance option for a reason, maybe there was no future loving a synth prototype … but with the way my stomach twisted in anxiety, I felt I had to _try_. _What’s really the worst that could happen? He validates your worst fears and you go on your way, just as you would hemming and hawing over it and never saying anything. Is it really worse to know? Or to suffer endlessly not knowing?_ I had a feeling that it was the latter, and so I started with, “Can I be totally honest with you, Nick?”

 

“Of course.”

 

I hesitated a moment. Just what exactly did I say? I didn’t really do declarations of love, but here I was. _Fuck, why couldn’t I have been more into chick flicks and rom coms?_ “I want to preface this by saying … the game I played, the one with you in it, it was incredibly detailed in a lot of aspects. But on the flip side, there are huge gaps of information that was never established or expounded upon. So … I have to be honest, while I have traveled with you extensively in game and know things about you even you don’t know yet, at the same time there is much of you that is a mystery.” I bit my lip as I dug up the courage to finish this whole thing. “As a result, I can’t even say for sure if this will remain unrequited forever, but … it’s become pretty obvious to me that I feel for you. As in, more than just a friend.” Silence greeted my admission, and I felt my heart drop into my stomach. _Of course he doesn’t feel the same, you’re so fucking stupid, Lia. Now you’ve made shit awkward and who knows how long it’ll take for it to blow over, if ever. Good job, screw up._ “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot or anything.” I shook my head, more sure than ever that I’d screwed up, and I stood and made my way for the door, intent on heading for the Third Rail, brave or not. Some things needed to be accompanied with copious amounts of alcohol, and a rejected confession of love was one of those things. “Just forget I said anything, okay?”

 

Nick’s hand caught my shoulder as I went to move past him and I didn’t think I could quite bring myself to look at him. He wasn’t having it, though, as he said in that gentle, low voice of his, “Hey, look at me, doll.”

 

I couldn’t _not_ obey a request like that, not from him, and I slowly raised my head until my eyes met his … deep blue and acid yellow, such a contrast, an outward reflection of the differences in lives we’d led up to this point. He, a synth prototype pulled from the Institute by his brother and left to sort out the confusing memories in his own mind while adjusting to and navigating a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Me, a single woman who managed a Sally’s and lived alone in an apartment in the metropolitan city of Winnipeg. We couldn’t be more different, and yet at that moment I could find myself yearning for no one else. I swallowed hard as I braced myself for the worst, for the confirmation that he only thought of me as a friend, or that he didn’t do romantic relationships. _What are you waiting for? Just go ahead and shoot me in the heart already!_

 

He smiled gently as he looked me in the eye. “Oh, doll, why me?”

 

That was … not quite what I was expecting, and it threw me for a loop. “What do you mean?”

 

Nick chuckled softly. “A gal like you, you could have your pick of this wasteland, choose anyone to love that you wanted. Nate might not be ready, but Preston isn’t that hard on the eyes, and he’s far from the only attractive and available man out there. And you choose me? A prototype synth that’s falling apart.”

 

It hurt to hear what Nick thought of himself, that he didn’t think himself _worthy_ of love simply because of who he was, what he couldn’t help. “I don’t care about that, Nick, though I do think you’re handsome. You’re kind and caring and you’re always willing to offer a helping hand, whether whoever you’re helping deserves it or not. I just … how could I not love you?” The last part came out rushed, and I blinked back the tears that threatened to suddenly fall. All of the intense emotion that I’d been burying since we left Park Street broke through and rushed to the forefront. He reached up to gently caress my cheek, the cool metal of his unsheathed hand sharp and unyielding, but I didn’t flinch or shy away. Instead, I simply stood there, waiting, for _anything_. _Will he or won’t he?_ I couldn’t wait forever, with the way I felt like I might be sick. “Nick, if you don’t feel the same way, then …”

 

“I do,” he interrupted me. “I can’t say when, but I do. It might have been that night in Diamond City that we spent at the Dugout, or covering you at the Castle. Hell, it might’ve been the moment you waltzed into that Vault and set me free. But …” he shook his head, “… you deserve so much better than me. I’m falling apart, too old for someone like you. You deserve the world and I can’t even get close to giving it to you.”

 

I swallowed hard, willing the tears to stay at bay. “But I don’t want the world, Nick, I want _you_. I don’t care if you’re falling apart, you’re still handsome to me. And as for the age …” I snorted as I added, “what, do you want me to call you Daddy?”

 

His eyes widened ever so slightly and his hand stilled against my face, his mouth hanging open just a little. He didn’t say anything, but after a moment staring he snapped his mouth shut, and a dawning realization started to take hold of me. My hands shook as I made the connection, and I shoved my critical internal voice to the side as I moved to take hold of the opportunity.

 

“Is that what it is, then?” I asked as I trailed my fingers up his tie. “You want me to beg? Say ‘Daddy, _please_ ’?”

 

Whatever hesitation might have been harbouring itself in Nick’s brain was instantly removed as, at those words, he pulled me close for a crushing kiss. It wasn’t soft or gentle or romantic, it was needy and claiming and electric. My hands tangled in his coat as his arms wrapped firmly around me, his metal hand pressed against the small of my back and his other cupping the back of my head as he held me there. I whimpered as he breached my mouth with his tongue, and he tasted of vanilla and smoke as I submitted and opened for him, and only for him. I felt like my legs just might give out, but I held on if only because I didn’t want to break this kiss. It may have just been a kiss, but it felt like so much more than that, like it had some overarching significance that even I couldn’t comprehend just yet, and maybe never would.

 

I was damn near breathless when he finally pulled away because I had completely forgotten to breathe. I normally would have rolled my eyes if something like that happened in a book or a movie but it seemed it just took the right kiss to forget basic bodily functions. Other functions, however, were ready and raring to go, seeing as my jumpsuit felt soaked. And it was apparently the same for Nick, as I felt a certain bulge in the front of his pants … a bulge I hadn’t even been sure to expect or not. It surprised me and I couldn’t help the reaction as I looked down and then looked back up at him. “Wait, you have a …?” I was hoping he wouldn’t make me specify, but he seemed to catch on.

 

“Of course I do. I was a bridging prototype and they were exploring synth sexuality as part of it. What, you didn’t know?”

 

I shook my head. “Like I said, they weren’t very specific about some things.”

 

“So you didn’t know I …” he cut himself off chuckling, holding me tight as he shook his head. “You would have been with me even if I wasn’t packing?”

 

“Of course! I love _you_ , Nick, not your dick. Sex isn’t everything. I’ve been in plenty of relationships where that’s all it was, and I’ve always wanted something _more_. And this … I feel like this is more.”

 

“You are too good for me,” he murmured as he leaned down for another kiss, softer this time. As we parted, his lips traveled down my chin and jaw to my neck, resting near my ear. “You’ve done so much already for everyone, for this whole damn world. Let Daddy take care of you tonight.”

 

Fuck, that voice sent a jolt of stimulation straight to my clit, so strong I gasped and then moaned as his teeth scraped my earlobe. I was putty in his hands, truly anything he wanted to do to me he could and I wouldn’t have protested. It spoke volumes as to Nick and who he was that he didn’t just straight up take advantage of me, but I knew he wouldn’t. I trusted him. Even before I met him I trusted him unconditionally. He spun me around and pulled me close to him again, his bulge pressing against my ass and his lips roaming my neck. Reaching up with one hand, he slowly unzipped my jumpsuit, not rushing about it, taking his time. When it finally hit its limit, his hands moved to pull the shoulders of the suit back and down to take it off, but he stopped part way with my hands still trapped in the arms. His teeth sank softly into the meat of my neck as he pulled me flush against him once again, his intact hand wandering south and pushing past the limit of my suit, searching until they’d buried themselves underneath my underwear. I moaned as he found my wetness, and moaned even louder when suddenly his fingers started _vibrating_. _Holy shit, what the fuck …_ was the only semi-coherent thought to latch on in my brain as I arched my back against him, my legs shaking already. It had been … erm, quite a while since I’d been with anyone, and even a while since I’d last masturbated because … well, I’d been super busy with work for one, and for two when I’d touched down in the Commonwealth I’d had a helluva lot bigger problems to worry about than when was the last time I got off. And that definitely showed because I was panting hard and gasping as he worked over my clit.

 

“Close already?” he rumbled in my ear.

 

“I-it’s been a while,” I stuttered.

 

His nose nuzzled my ear as he whispered, “My poor princess. Let Daddy help you.”

 

It didn’t take much more as he slipped his vibrating fingers down over my clit and buried them in my heat. That was the extra little bit of stimulation I needed as I cried out hoarsely, my legs trembling and refusing to fully support my weight any longer. Nick simply held me tighter as I clenched around his fingers, riding out my high as he gradually toned down the vibration so it wouldn’t overwhelm before he withdrew. I had screwed my eyes shut as the crest of my orgasm had hit, and I hadn’t opened them yet, but I could hear him clean his own fingers and I groaned as I opened them again. Once I got my wits about me again, he let me stand on my own and yanked my jumpsuit the rest of the way down, releasing my arms. I deftly slipped out of my boots and socks without even bending over as he knelt to help me with the Vaultsuit, his lips and tongue trailing down my skin and making me shiver. I set a hand on his shoulder to steady myself as he pulled the suit off of my legs so I wouldn’t fall over and make a fool out of myself, and once he hand I turned around to face him as he stood, pulling him close with his tie and kissing him hard. He reached behind me and unhooked the bra I was wearing, pulling it down over my shoulders. I reached up to unbutton his shirt, but suddenly his hands flew to mine and stilled them and he pulled away.

 

“It’s not you,” he immediately reassured. “It’s just … I just … feel uncomfortable disrobing. This body …”

 

I pulled him close and silenced him with a kiss. “Then we’ll keep it on. You know what they say about a man in a suit …”

 

He chuckled as his lips sealed over mine, pulling me close as his hands roamed my body, his ungloved hand more cautious and light than the other. He cupped his hands under my thighs and pulled me up, drawing my legs around him as he held me. I crossed my legs behind him to hold on and moaned as his hardness brushed directly against me. He playfully ground his hips against me as he nipped at my collar bone before he walked over to the dresser and set me on top. Deft fingers worked off my underwear and tossed them aside as he gave me an otherwise chaste kiss before he started working his way down my body. My nipples weren’t particularly sensitive, but for some reason they lit a fire in me as his smooth tongue swept over them. My fingers gripped the edge of the dresser as he dipped lower and lower until he finally knelt in front of my core. His eyes met mine for a brief moment before he licked a long stripe over me and my jaw dropped open as I moaned. The sensations he was giving me was more intense than any other sexual encounter I could remember, though my brain was having a hard time functioning in any capacity as he focused his attention. His tongue speared me open while his magical vibrating fingers stroked and circled my clit, making me squirm on top of the dresser as I clenched the ledge of it harder and harder until my knuckles turned white. My head fell back and my eyes closed as he inched me closer and closer to the edge yet again, my body responding to each touch and every caress. If I was an instrument, he was a master, and he played me beautifully, stringing me along until I was teetering on that edge again. He pulled his tongue out of me just long enough to murmur, “Close again, princess? Go ahead, come for Daddy.”

 

With that, he buried his tongue in me again and that rubber band inside me snapped, sending me falling over the edge, my arms shaking from the strength needed to keep myself upright on the dresser as I clenched around his tongue. He slowed the movements and vibrations in his fingers but he kept lapping at me, drinking up everything he could until he finally pulled away. Standing up, he fumbled with the fastening on his pants as he kissed me deeply, sharing my own taste with me, and I took as much as I could get. I felt him gently start to press in me and I moaned with anticipation. Somehow, even though I’d already come twice, I was raring for more, like I couldn’t get enough. He was still in a teasing mood as he pulled out the tip and rubbed my clit and I squirmed. “Please, Daddy,” I whined, my voice high-pitched and broken with need.

 

Nick chuckled softly. “Since you asked nicely, like a good girl …” His lips closed over the pulse point in my neck as he fully sheathed himself inside me, stilling for a moment to let me adjust before he began a slow pace. I wrapped my legs around him and tangled my fingers in his coat, the feeling of the soft material somehow turning me on even more. The fact that he stood there, fully clothed, and I sat on the dresser completely naked and vulnerable and at the mercy of any of his whims … it satisfied something deep within me that I hadn’t even realized was there. His lips returned to mine as he started speeding up his pace, pulling me close to him so there wasn’t even an inch of space between us. Just as every sensation that was hitting me seemed like it was getting to be too much, he slowed down, allowed me to readjust, and then started gradually building the pace back up again. I could barely keep my legs crossed behind him because they were shaking so much, but every time he pushed me close to the edge, he reeled it back in. After about the fifth time, the whine I let loose was utterly pitiful, and he shushed me gently. “Shhh, I’ll take care of you, princess. I always will.”

 

And with that, as he lazily pumped in and out of me, he switched on his vibrating function. I gasped but didn’t have much of a chance to catch up as he pounded in and out of me, grinding against me on the downstroke and catching my clit every time. My brain was having a hard time keeping up with all of the different sensations that was flooding me, and I gripped Nick’s arms, like I was desperately holding on to anything I could find. He reached up to cup my face as he looked me in the eye. “N-Nick,” was all I could manage to get out as I was rushed quicker and quicker toward the edge.

 

“That’s it, doll, come for me. You look so beautiful when you come.” I kept eye contact with him as I was tossed off the edge, spiralling so quick and so fast and so intensely that tears leaked from the corners of my eyes. “Oh, that’s it, that’s it,” Nick murmured with a groan as he thrust a handful more times and buried himself in me with a shudder, resting his forehead against mine and shutting off his vibration. Once I’d had a chance to catch my breath, he asked, “Are you okay?”

 

I still didn’t quite trust my voice, and so I nodded and buried my face in his neck, pulling him close to me, just wanting him near me. He gently lifted me from the top of the dresser and carried me over to the bed, grabbing the blanket at the foot of it as he did and covering me as he laid us both down, finally slipping out of me as he did so. We both adjusted until we were comfortable, and then we simply lay there, the rest of the night passing in light caresses and whispered sentiments until I drifted off, my face buried in his coat’s lapels, breathing in the scent of smoke and vanilla and gunpowder as sleep took me. The world outside was still fucked up, there was still a lot yet to do. But within those four walls of the Hotel Rexford, everything was perfect.


	8. The blood of battle is thicker than the water of the womb

_Hey, sister, know the water's sweet,_

_But blood is thicker ..._

 

_~~ "Hey, Brother", Avicii_

 

 

\---------

 

I slept hard and deep that night, just like I had the night before I woke up in this wasteland. Maybe it was the intense sex, maybe it was the close proximity of gently humming machinery pressed up against me, or the relief after I finally confessed my true feelings, or hell perhaps a combination of all three. What was that saying, confession is good for the soul? I didn’t really ascribe to religion, but I could relate to that particular sentiment.

 

The only thing that finally dragged me from sleep was Nick’s gentle voice, close to my ear. “Lia, it’s time to get up and get going. Glory’s leaving in ten minutes.”

 

“Mmmm,” was the only reply I could muster as I rubbed my eyes and buried my face in his chest.

 

He chuckled as he ran his fingers through my hair. “Come on, princess, up and at ‘em.”

 

I groaned as I finally sat up, bleary and out of it and wishing like mad for a Tim Horton’s nearby. Was a caramel latte and a box of Timbits really too much to ask for? I realized as I scooted to the edge of my bed that I had no idea where any of my pieces of underwear had landed, along with where my jumpsuit had gotten to. “Fuck, where did my clothes go …” I muttered to myself as I ran my fingers through my hair.

 

Nick was already up and moving, grabbing a small pile on top of the dresser and laying it on the bed. “After you fell asleep, I made sure to put all your clothes in one spot. Figured it would be easier to get dressed that way.”

 

I smiled and shook my head. “You’re too good to me, Nick,” I commented, grabbing my clothes and pulling them on in a hurry, taking a moment to run a brush through my hair before I packed everything up. I was ahead of schedule, and since my bladder was practically screaming at me, I skipped over to the shared bathroom before I rejoined Nick and headed downstairs to meet Glory.

 

The no-nonsense Railroad agent finished up a can of purified water as we descended the stairs, crushing the can and tossing it in a wastebasket as we approached her. “Ready to go?” she asked, hefting a combat rifle in her arms. In game she normally wielded a minigun, but I supposed that stuck out just a little too much for a trip to Goodneighbor.

 

“All ready,” I replied, shouldering my pack.

 

“What about you?” she directed at Nick.

 

“I’m with her,” Nick said protectively, moving even closer to me. “I hope that’s not a problem.”

 

Glory chuckled. “No, not for you. Now c’mon, we aren’t too far and hopefully we won’t get into too much trouble on the way.”

 

I snorted. “Not like you’d protest much.”

 

She flashed a smile at me. “Of course not. A shame I don’t have my minigun on me, but maybe some other time I can take you out for a spin with her.” We dutifully followed Glory out of Goodneighbor and through the streets of the ruined city. Glory, like Nick, was insanely familiar with the ins and outs of where raiders and super mutants like to set up shop, and we were able to avoid any of them on the trip to Old North Church. As we approached the front door, however, Glory paused and let us know, “Now, as much as we try to keep them cleared out, ferals will sometimes gather. So keep your eyes peeled.” With that, she ushered us into the building, guns out for everyone. Sure enough, as soon as we set foot in the bombed out sanctuary, the characteristic growl sounded and let us know we weren’t alone. Off to my right, one of them started getting up, and I shot at it but it went wide and the bullet ended up embedding itself in the wall. I went to shoot again and _click_ … I was out of bullets. Cursing under my breath, I grabbed my pack for another clip, and while I did Nick stepped forward and buried a shot in the middle of its forehead. Glory, meanwhile, took out two on the other side of the sanctuary, but I had a feeling we weren’t quite in the clear yet. If this was anything like the player character’s first visit to the place, there would be at least two more lurking in the catacombs. Glory motioned for us to follow her, and we did so wordlessly, descending the steps that would take us to the lower levels and the entrance to Railroad HQ. Sure enough, as I suspected, there were two waiting down there for us, but Glory took them out easily as she had the lead. As we approached the main door, Glory shot a grin back at me. “Since I’m told you know the password already, I won’t even bother putting you through your paces. I just wanna get in.”

 

“Sounds good,” I replied and I watched as she used the moving ring to put in _railroad_ before pushing the inner circle and revealing the hidden door. In game, of course, the wall was blown out. But in real life, one had to be at least a little more discreet, so a panel slid out of place and allowed us to pass. After that, everything else was the same as she led us across the small space and down the tunnel that led to the main door of HQ.

 

There was a veritable hum of activity as we entered, and Dez was in the middle of it, as per usual, taking reports from and conferring with agents as they came and went. Nick and I followed Glory as she walked right up to Dez, announcing, “New Railroad agent, delivered safe and sound.”

 

Desdemona smirked to see both myself and Nick standing there. “I didn’t realize our deal included your friend, here.”

 

“Where I go, he goes,” I replied simply, reaching back to thread my fingers through his.

 

She chuckled. “Of course. Now, since you’re a Railroad agent now, you’ll need a name. I’m sure you know already that agents choose their own names to go by instead of their real ones, to protect their identities should we ever be compromised. Do you have one ready to go?”

 

This was actually something I had already thought of, something I’d determined long before I left my own world. I’d never particularly liked the options given in game, and I always said that if I was able to pick my own, I would have gone with Oracle. I was a big comic book fan, and a fan of Barbara Gordon specifically. While she did good work as Batgirl, and was probably more well-known for that, I always preferred her support role as Oracle. I’d always thought that was more like me, not necessarily in the middle of things but on the outside, willing to help in any way that I could. It just seemed fitting. So I nodded and simply replied, “Oracle.”

 

“Oracle,” Dez repeated, as if she was trying out the name. “I like it. Now that that’s settled, you had mentioned Ticonderoga safe house being compromised in the near future as well as our HQ. I’m hoping you have some suggestions as to where we can go, because unless we have something set up, we can’t do anything.”

 

“I do, in fact,” I began as she lead me to the map table. I searched on it for a moment, reacquainting myself before I pointed out my intended location. “Here, this should make a good place to build a safe house. It’s an old Red Rocket station and it’s right next to Sanctuary, a Minuteman settlement. They can help with any protection and with building whatever you might need for the safe house. It might not be as big as Ticonderoga, but it will be a lot safer.”

 

Desdemona’s eyes flicked over to a familiar figure. “What do you think, High Rise?”

 

The familiar agent chewed at his lip a moment before he said, “It’ll take some building, but as far as moving, from what I know the main building should house most of what we have.” He looked up at me and asked, “Would the Minutemen have a place to stash some of our extras until we can finish building it out?”

 

I nodded. “Doesn’t sound like a problem. Just talk to Sturges, he’s the resident handyman, he’ll be able to help.”

 

“Good.” Turning back to Dez, he added, “I’ll head back to Ticon and start packing things up. Any agent you can spare to help would be great.”

 

“Tims and Boxer should be available, grab them when you go.” High Rise gave her a loose salute before he headed on his way out, tapping the specified agents and taking them with him. Dez sighed as she said, “Well, that went a lot easier than I thought it would. But I figured the safe house might be a little easier than HQ. I hope you have a suggestion, because I’m lost.”

 

I paused a moment before I began, “I do, but … well, I hope I’m not pushing the bounds of our new alliance by suggesting this.” Dez only raised her eyebrow in response, so I continued. “The Castle is a strong fortress, one that we just retook and that is being completely rebuilt. It has strong defences and even has an underground portion that you could use for Railroad HQ that the Minutemen won’t need. It admittedly won’t have as nice a ring as “Follow the Freedom Trail” to get in contact with you, but I think it will be a helluva lot more secure than here.”

 

“But if the Brotherhood of Steel, or the Institute prior to your planned takeover, tries to attack, they can take both of us out at once.”

 

“If they want to take you out, they can do it just as well here as anywhere else. Hell, it’ll probably be easier to do it here because there’s only you to defend yourselves. At the Castle, however, they’ll have to go through the Minutemen if they want to get at you.” I shifted my weight on my feet and took a casual stance as I tried my damnedest to convince her. “The Castle, along with the offered protection of the Minutemen, also has the intimidating factor of it being an old fort, and therefore the strong defences of said fort. Here … it’s an old church. There’s no intimidation factor whatsoever, it’s all rotted wood and old brick. But there … it’s stone and steel. A fortress. Anyone would think twice before they thought to even try to take it on, much less knowing there’s _two_ forces there to contend with instead of just one.”

 

Desdemona rubbed her chin as she thought, and all I could do was sit there and wait and hope she would agree with me. Perhaps the Railroad would be fine to leave their HQ where it was, maybe even Ticonderoga would be fine, but that wasn’t a chance I was willing to take, not when lives were at stake. Dez, however, didn’t know me like other people knew me, didn’t realize the extent of which she could trust me. I just hoped that she would trust me just enough to give me a chance, to give all of this a chance, for Glory’s and High Rise’s sake if no one else’s. After giving it some deep thought, she turned and asked, “Carrington? What do you think?”

 

The doctor seemed a bit genuinely surprised that she actually asked him. “You mean you finally want my input with something?” He huffed, as if annoyed, but he looked secretly pleased to be considered in this whole thing. “It seems rather risky, but the logic is sound. Little about our work is without any kind of a risk. If you feel strongly about this alliance, then I suggest taking them up on their offer of protection. It’s not every day we got something like this handed to us.”

 

She nodded. “Very well, then.” Her eyes flicked to me as she conceded. “It will take some time to pack up everything here and move, but we’ll take you up on your offer.”

 

“That’s fine. Nate will have to clear out the space under the Castle anyway, but I figure we can head back and take care of that once he gets back here with Deacon.” _Ronnie Shaw should be there by then, if not soon after._ Still, plenty of time to clear out the lower tunnels and West Bastion.

 

We broke for an early lunch, just some simple canned food. My stomach growled as I realized I hadn’t eaten that morning, and while the pork n beans weren’t exactly my idea of a good meal, it was food and it was available and so that’s what I had. I got the chance to get well acquainted with the rest of the HQ crew, including Tinker Tom and P.A.M. Tom was real trip and I could tell he would be a lot of fun to hang around. If him and Sturges ever got in the same room together, heaven help the Commonwealth with whatever they would scheme up together.

 

As the day wore on, I started to get more and more anxious. Where was Nate and Deacon? What was taking them so long? Slocum Joe’s was only in Lexington, it wasn’t _that_ far away. The longest part of the mission should be the trip out and the trip back, as once they were in, it was pretty straightforward, more or less. So when the arbitrary timeline in my mind came and went for how long it should have taken them, I began to worry. Had they stumbled upon some raiders? Had one of them gotten injured? Or worse, killed? I didn’t even want to think about that, but my stomach twisted anyway, my subconscious willing me to think of the worst. If anything happened to Nate, then this whole plan fell apart. There was nobody else who could infiltrate the Institute, no one else who could take over upon Shaun’s death. Without him, there was no viable end game to rescuing the synths and driving the Brotherhood of Steel out of the Commonwealth. Everything rested on Nate and his survival, and the possibility of his demise weighed heavily on me. Because _I_ had been the one to meddle in these affairs, I had been the one to talk to Nate, to convince him to listen to me. I was the one setting up the plan that he was following, and I would be the one people would blame if it unraveled. Nick tried to comfort me, put an arm around me and held me close as he murmured that Nate was smart and resourceful and he had no doubt he would make it back. I could only hope for that kind of glowing optimism, and I simply slung an arm around Nick and held him close to me, that faint mechanical humming underneath his shell the only true comfort I could derive.

 

Day fell into night, and the hum of activity in HQ died down to a simmer, most everybody finding sleep on a random mattress. Only Desdemona stayed awake, along with myself and Nick, as I was far too wired to even think about sleeping. Nick had gently suggested at least lying down, but I had progressed to the point of pacing and was not going to get settled so easily. Consequently, when Deacon and Nate finally rolled in close to 1am, I was awake and ready to receive them … and was shocked at the amount of blood smeared over Nate’s jumpsuit. “Fuck, what happened?” It was just a simple infiltration mission, what had gone so horribly wrong? “Were there more synths there or something?”

 

Nate shook his head, grimacing before he sat down. Desdemona fetched Dr. Carrington and as she woke the doctor, Nate relayed what had happened. “The mission at the Switchboard went down perfectly. Textbook.”

 

“Yeah, thanks for all the prep work you did with us,” Deacon interjected. “Saved us a whole lot of trouble. No bullshit.”

 

“Then what happened to Nate?” I asked as I knelt in front of him, meeting Nate’s eyes as he worked to breathe through whatever pain he was in.

 

“On our way back,” he began, grimacing for a moment before continued, “I had my radio turned on just in case, and it finally picked it up. The interference you told me about.”

 

My heart dropped into my stomach. “Nate, tell me you didn’t.” It was then that I looked up and realized a third figure had accompanied them, though she had fallen back once Deacon and Nate had entered. I couldn’t remember her actual Institute designation off the top of my head, but I did remember that she preferred Jenny, and that was all that mattered. Usually she went off on her own after Hunter/Hunted, but apparently between Deacon and Nate she’d been persuaded to join them.

 

Nate, meanwhile, smirked and reached into his pack, drawing out a bloody chip. “That one … did not go so textbook …”

 

“And no wonder! I never briefed you on that, mostly because I didn’t think you would have done something so stupid as go off and take on a courser!” I stood and ran my fingers through my hair, a nervous gesture that was attempt to ground myself in some way. “Nate, if you had died …”

 

“I didn’t.”

 

“But if you did!”

 

“I had Deacon with me, he was by my side the entire way. If he had hesitated, said no, wanted to wait, I would have. He was ready and willing to go after it. Besides,” he flashed me a smile, “it saves us the trouble of tracking it down later. This also means I can go after Virgil and get the plans for the transmitter to get into the Institute. This is what we wanted, yes?”

 

“Well, yes, but,” I sputtered, “fuck, Nate …” That was about all I could get out. My hands were shaking as a wave of nausea swept over me. Nate had been so close to dying, far closer than he’d been yet. Even with the deathclaw, at least I had warned him about it, prepared him to face it. With the courser, I hadn’t even had the chance to try to prepare him and step him through it, and because of that he’d gotten hurt. And that had been my fault. I’d held back on cluing him in to some things and prepping him because I hadn’t wanted to overwhelm him or push needed information out of his brain. I hadn’t anticipated him going off script like this, and the fact that they’d been ill-prepared thanks to my lack of insight made the evening meal of cram sit heavy on my stomach, threatening to make a reappearance.

 

“Hey,” Nate offered, a little lower and gentler, “it’s only a couple of shots, and one of them only grazed me. I would have been fine even without the stimpacks.”

 

I sighed, taking in a deep breathe to try to come down. What was done was done, and while it was far from ideal, Nate was at least still alive and functioning and willing to keep on. It could have been a helluva lot worse, but it wasn’t. I just had to be very careful from here on out, make sure that I shared everything with him that I could. I couldn’t risk him going into a situation unprepared like that ever again. We might not get so lucky next time.

 

As Carrington worked on him, sewing him up and re-bandaging his wounds from the initial field dressing, I gave Nate the run down on everything that Dez and I had talked about. Because of his injuries, it would be difficult for him to do much for the next couple of days, and so I fretted about what to do with Ronnie Shaw. She _should_ just wait at the Castle, but I didn’t want to keep her waiting long. Fortunately, Deacon piped up and said he’d help with sweeping and clearing the lower tunnels and West Bastion, and when Tinker Tom - woken from his sleep to analyze the courser chip - found out about Sarge, he was immediately interested. “A chance to hack a sentry bot? Are you kidding me? Count me in!” Well, that was that, it seemed. The transition wouldn’t be quite as smooth as I’d initially planned it, but the bump in the road wasn’t as bad as it had appeared to be at first. We could work with it, move past it. Ultimately, in the grand scheme of things, it was momentary and trifling. It was just hard to wrap my anxiety-addled brain around it.

 

When Carrington finished up with Nate and relegated him to rest with a small dose of Med-X, the rest of us wandered back to the fleet of mattresses available. I plopped down on a random one with a sigh, looking up at Nick as I pleaded, “Stay with me?”

 

He smiled, as if I needn’t have even asked, sitting down next to me before he looped his arms around me and pulled me into his embrace as we laid down. “Are you alright?” he murmured into my hair.

 

I shook my head gently. “I fucked up, Nick.”

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

“I should have prepared Nate for that mission better. I hadn’t wanted to overwhelm him with information, but something would have been better than nothing. He could have died! And if he did … then all of this is for nothing.”

 

The old synth chuckled. “Really, we could all die tomorrow, doll. Death doesn’t care about carefully laid plans. But, like I told you, Nate was resourceful and smart, and he had help. I doubt he would have taken on a courser alone. And he was successful. After he heals up, the next part of the plan can proceed without pause, without waiting. You said yourself, you weren’t sure what Shaun’s health was like, and the sooner Nate gets to connect with him, the better.”

 

I sighed, knowing he was right, but my brain not wanting to accept it and admit defeat. Nick seemed to know, and he didn’t say anything else, simply held me and stroked my hair until I finally drifted off.

 

I woke up the next morning feeling like complete ass. If I’d been craving some Tim Horton’s just a day before, that was nothing compared to my need at the moment. I was past the need for coffee, I needed an IV of caffeine hooked directly into my veins. Or a nap. You know, either or. But I was going to get neither as I was unwillingly dragged from Nick’s arms and set off on a short little jaunt back to the Castle. It was much easier and quicker to go directly from Old North Church to the Castle, and I mentally cursed at Desdemona for dragging us halfway across the Commonwealth just to meet. I understood paranoia, but for fucks sake, she could have made it a _little_ easier on us. At least, that’s what my grumpy, caffeine denied mind grumbled at me, and I had no reason to dispute it as I dutifully followed behind Deacon as he lead us on a similar, safe path that Nick would have taken. And, even with the meandering path and my tired steps, we got to the Castle around noon, and I swore I almost said a hallelujah out loud to see no Ronnie Shaw in sight. We were early, which was fantastic as that would allow us a little rest before she showed. “How long before she shows, you think?” Deacon asked.

 

“Fairly soon, I think. By tomorrow afternoon at the very latest, but likely before that.”

 

He nodded. “Down time sounds like fun to me,” he said, flashing me a smile. “How do you plan on spending it?”

 

“How else?” I replied, shifting my pack. “Gonna take a nap. I really could use one.”

 

He sighed, nodding in agreement. “I could, too. Is there a place I could smooth out a pack?”

 

“Follow me,” I said, heading straight for the General’s quarters. I wasn’t sure what state the regular barrack room was in, or if it would be devoid of sufficient activity for us to take a nap or not, and so I didn’t take any chances as I opened the door to Nate’s plenty spacious room. Tinker Tom had already wandered off to help tinker around with some turrets for the defences, and Nick stayed pretty close to me, though he went off to fetch a can of water for me when I asked, too tired to even go all the way to the kitchen to grab one.

 

In the meantime, Deacon and I set out our sleep rolls wherever we wanted, and as we shucked shoes and settled in, he threw me a smirk as he began, “So, you and Nick …”

 

I blushed, understanding his drift. “Yeah.”

 

He chuckled. “Shit, you shoulda lead with that, Dez would have eaten it up.”

 

I wrinkled my nose at him in mock disgust. “My relationship with Nick isn’t a _pawn_ to use in a game. I really care about him. And besides, we weren’t even really together when we met with Dez.”

 

“Oh, recent development, huh? Well when did … unless …” I could see him adding two and two and getting four in his head as he broke out in a wide grin. “You shacked up with him at the Hotel Rexford, didn’t you?” My face only grew hotter, and that was enough to answer his question. I couldn’t help but throw my boots at him for his impishness. He managed to dodge one but the other caught him square in the chest, causing him to laugh as he threw the boots back at me. “Get some sleep, Lia.”

 

“I will, ass.” Deacon slipped into his sleep roll and I started getting comfy, only waiting for Nick, who appeared shortly after with a can of water. I gratefully drained about half and then settled down, myself, quickly drifting off into slumber with Nick stroking my hair.

 

I wasn’t sure how long it had been when I was woken up, but I felt semi-rested. Like, I hadn’t gotten quite all that I needed, but I had gotten enough so that I didn’t feel dead on my feet anymore. I supposed it was the best possible outcome for a nap, because if I was too rested I wouldn’t have been able to sleep that night and my whole sleeping pattern would have been thrown off. But I could at least focus and move without doing so sluggishly, which was going to be important if we were going to clear out the lower tunnels and West Bastion. From what I remembered, the place was littered with mines, and that was to speak nothing of Sarge waiting at the end. I really hoped Tom could hack him and we could end up using him, because knocking him out of commission was easier said than done for a sentry bot.

 

Ronnie Shaw was waiting for us in the courtyard, so Deacon and I wasted no time in pulling on our shoes and grabbing our packs before meeting her. I didn’t want there to be any delay in doing this, and so we strode out there ready for action. Ronnie seemed a bit surprised that it was us that greeted her instead of Nate, and she said so. “Hmm, was expecting the General. What, couldn’t take a break to give an old gun a hello?”

 

I brushed off her grumpiness and simply replied with a smile, “He would be here, but he was hurt on his last mission. Nothing too serious, but he’s still resting. In the meantime, I’m Major general, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you open the West Bastion.” It wasn’t really until that moment that I realized I was technically the highest ranking Minutemen officer in the Castle, and I gulped as I realized the responsibility that put in my lap. I really hoped Nate knew what he was doing when he gave me this position, because I sure as hell didn’t know.

 

She was, understandably, surprised at my suggestion. “How did you know?”

 

I gestured at the large barrier that locked out the West Bastion. “It’s the only part of the Castle still cut off, isn’t it?”

 

“Right,” she said, like she didn’t quite buy it but wasn’t going to question it. “There should be a way to get to it indirectly, from the lower tunnels.”

 

I nodded. One of the instructions I’d given the settlers upon their arrival was working on clearing that entrance, though I very specifically told them to not enter it until we did, that it was potentially dangerous down there. “It should be cleared by now, why don’t we take a look?” I lead her through the Castle and toward the steps that would lead to the lower tunnels. It wasn’t completely cleared yet, but we were able to get through, and that was the important part. My palms started getting sweaty as I reached for the door handle and pushed it open, almost expecting to accidentally trigger something and all hell to break loose, even though I knew it wouldn’t. I waited until everyone had gathered in the entryway before I said, “Now, be careful down here, there will be mines a plenty and Sarge in the last room, so let’s move slowly and with caution, okay?”

 

Everyone else nodded and followed my lead, even Ronnie not questioning my level of knowledge just yet. Nick and Tom lead the way and easily dismantled the mines, setting them aside for later use. Tom pocketed a few, presumably just in case he wasn’t able to successfully hack Sarge, though fingers crossed he could do it. In game, the mechanics were so limited that successfully hacking the sentry bot and leaving him alive would make it impossible to advance the quest, but in real life one could take liberties like that. As long as they actually worked, that is.

 

Just as I’d said, we faced no actual opposition other than the mines as we made our way through the tunnels, and we all gathered at the edge of the door of the last room that Sarge was in, giving us a moment to regroup before his defences were triggered. Tom handed me the mines that he’d gathered and instructed me, “Set these up inside the door, in a line, something we can jump easy. If my hack _is_ unsuccessful, we’ll retreat and let him run over the mines and then deal with him from there. Sound like something you can handle?”

 

I chuckled. “Yeah. I’m quick becoming an expert in setting up mines,” I said with a bit of chagrin. Well, hey, it at least gave me something to do besides try to support the others with my comparatively shitty gun work. I at least didn’t feel like so much of a hack, that I was actively, positively contributing and not just hanging around and waiting for other people to do things, which was pretty much how I felt most of the time. Having something to do made me feel good, and so I took the mines and waited as Tom and Deacon hashed out their approach. They had to be quick and careful about it as they didn’t have that long of a window between the time his systems came online and when he turned hostile, so they had to take advantage of that window to start a hack and delay that, and also hope that said hack was successful before they were hit with a barrage of bullets. I waited on their signal, and once they rushed the room I was right behind them, Nick and Ronnie at my side. Deacon covered Tom as he quickly hooked into the sentry bot while it was booting up, but I didn’t get a chance to really watch the master tinkerer in action because I was focused on setting out a line of mines near the entrance of the room. Once I finished - in record time, by my reckoning - Nick and Ronnie and I ducked out of the room and awaited whatever would happen in the next room, our guns out and trained on the sentry bot. _At least it’s a big target, right?_ I gripped the 10mm tighter as my palms sweat, hoping that we wouldn’t have to take down Sarge. There was a moment of heightened anxiety with Tom almost lost the hack, but he got right back on it and pushed through and was able to successfully subdue Sarge.

 

Once that had been done, I deactivated the mines and put them back in Tom’s satchel, following Ronnie’s lead as she lead us the rest of the way into the West Bastion. From there, it was smooth sailing, as we were able to access the weapon’s cache. I could tell by the way that Deacon was sizing up the room that he was considering on incorporating it into a part of the new Railroad HQ, and I had no intentions of stopping him. I’d promised the Railroad this section of the Castle and I wasn’t about to get in their way. I had some ideas on where to store weapons caches anyway, so it wasn’t like we truly needed it. The Railroad would fit nicely along with the Minutemen. It was truly a shame that this wasn’t an in-game option, because I would go along with this every time.

 

As we walked out of the West Bastion, artillery schematic in hands, it felt good. Like we’d really accomplished something, not only with freeing up the space but also with mutual cooperation with both factions. Tinker Tom was already drooling over the plans that we’d retrieved, and I had a feeling he was going to want to at least work on it, if not head that particular project. And, if he wanted, I wasn’t about to stop him. This whole partnership was about everyone chipping in where they could and playing to their strengths. Just seeing how we were all working together, it gave me hope for the future. Like we really could all work together and pull this off. I went to bed that night with my fingers entangled with Nick’s as the synth sat by my head for his own rest cycle. I was looking forward to getting somewhere with an actual bed we could share - not to speak of some privacy for a little more - but for now I let the peaceful calm wash over me as I sank back into oblivion.


	9. Heavy is the head that wears the crown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a couple of tags to the story, so make sure you skim them again before reading, just in case. ;) If you're not into it, it will be pretty easy to skip as it's in the latter part of the chapter.

_I tried carrying the weight of the world,_

_But I only have two hands ..._

 

_~~ "Wake me up", Avicii_

 

 

\---------

 

The next day, Nate arrived, mostly mended from his run-in with the courser. He was exceedingly lucky, a fact that wasn’t lost on him, but he still brushed aside any concern. Perhaps he just wanted to put on a brave face, but I still secretly worried about it. I hoped this cavalier attitude wouldn’t bleed over and make him inadvertently play his hand too soon. My pre-planning and prep gave him confidence, but too much confidence turned into arrogance, and that could get a motherfucker killed out in the Commonwealth, thinking they’re untouchable. He still heeded all my advice and didn’t really question me, so I hoped that perhaps my worrying was just paranoia.

 

At any rate, he wasn’t going to stay at the Castle long, and neither was I. He wanted to take me back up to Sanctuary with him, since he had to return there to fetch his suit of power armour, and he wanted me to oversee turning the Red Rocket station into the Railroad’s new safe house. He was in and out of the Castle in less than 24 hours, leaving bright and early the next morning with myself, Nick, and Deacon in tow. I was curious as to why the Railroad agent was tagging along, but I figured Nate had his reasons, and I certainly didn’t mind having him along. If anything, it meant we had one more competent shooter in our group and so I felt less pressure should we happen upon any obstacles, though thankfully most of it amounted to a small pack of feral ghouls and a couple of packs of wild mongrel dogs that attacked anything on sight.

 

We made it to the Red Rocket station just as the sun was starting to set, and we were able to touch base with High Rise to make sure the transition was going smoothly. Sturges had apparently been working with him on building out and expanding the pre-existing building there, and work was going quickly. Tims and Boxer had long headed back to HQ, but Sturges and even Marcy had been helping out, trying to convert the old station as quickly as possible. This was going even better than I’d planned, and I told him if he ever needed anything to not hesitate to ask. He laughed and said everything was fine and that made me exceedingly happy. The Railroad and Minutemen were already meshing well, and I allowed myself a momentary internal celebration that I’d been able to help bring them together.

 

Once we crossed the bridge into Sanctuary, we were greeted by an enthusiastic Preston and an even more enthusiastic Dogmeat. The latter ran up to me, wagging his tail, and whined until I knelt down and allowed him to give me kisses. The former was just a tad more conservative in his greeting, though he smiled all the same. “General! Major general! Good to see you both. Wasn’t sure when you were coming back.”

 

“Well, I won’t be here long,” Nate conceded. “I came back here to make sure my power armour was ready to take a trip into the Glowing Sea, and then I’m off.”

 

“The Glowing Sea? Isn’t that where that scientist is?” Nate nodded and Preston replied, “But I thought you were waiting until you had that chip decoded.”

 

Nate smiled. “Already do. Ran into a courser on the way back from the Railroad’s old HQ, went ahead and took care of it.”

 

Preston’s eyebrows almost shot off his damn forehead as he whistled. “Damn. That must’ve been something.”

 

“Well, I didn’t exactly escape unscathed,” Nate said with a small wince. “But I’m alive and that’s what’s important.”

 

Preston didn’t ask any further questions, just simply directed Nate to his old house, where his power armour sat. “Sturges has been working on it here and there, making sure it’s repaired and everything. He installed some rad scrubbers on it just the other day, just in case you needed to go anywhere dangerous.” Preston smiled as he added, “Looks like his foresight works in your favour.”

 

“Excellent, I’ll have to find him and relay my thanks. That wasn’t necessary.”

 

The Lieutenant general shrugged. “Just take it as a thanks for saving us in Concord and also for opening up this settlement for us. To the folks here, that isn’t some small thing, it means the world to have a safe place to live. You’ve done right by them, and they’re determined to do right by you.”

 

Nate was obviously touched, momentarily choked up before he patted Preston on the back. “I’ll just have to make sure I never let ‘em down.”

 

It was then I realized that along with myself, Nate was also under an incredible amount of pressure. All of our planning was centralized on him and what he did, he had to have realized that. Nate wasn’t dumb, far from it. I felt bad for chastising him in Railroad HQ, as he probably had gone back and forth over whether or not to pursue the courser, spurred on only by Deacon’s insistence and backup. Also, the fact that he was that much closer to reuniting with his son, it had to have weighed heavily on him. We both had the burdens of the world on our shoulders, just in different ways … myself for planning out everything and making sure to direct things toward a desirable outcome, him for actually seeing those plans through. The Sole Survivor and I were a lot more alike at this point than I’d even thought, and he appeared to at least be handling it marginally better than I was. _You have to do better, Lia, you have to_ be _better._

 

Dinner that night was around the fire pit, as it normally was, and it was wonderful to get back to some semblance of normal, since that had been out the door since I’d stepped foot outside of Sanctuary. Mama Murphy was an excellent cook, if a bit grumpy because she hadn’t had any access to chems whatsoever since landing in Sanctuary. I had a feeling that might not last too long, especially once traders like Trashcan Carla started coming through, but I hoped in the meantime she would see that life without chems was okay, too. Sure, I’d smoked weed and drank copious amounts of hard liquor when I was younger, fresh out of high school, partying it up with my friends. But the older I’d gotten, the more I’d grown out of it, until the most I ever did anymore was an occasional beer or two. It hadn’t been a conscious decision of any kind, more of a life transition, growing up and grappling with adult responsibilities and dealing with them in better, more constructive ways than just lighting up a joint or downing an eighth of vodka. Maybe some forced sobriety would be good for her, though she wasn’t yet out of the grumpy, moping stage.

 

After we finished, Nate asked Nick, Deacon, and I to join him in his house for a quick meeting. We obliged, and I silently confessed myself curious, wondering what he was going to talk about. Of course, I would need to guide him through the Glowing Sea, but I’d been hoping to hold off on something like that until the next day, because as it was I was exhausted and bone-deep tired and I wanted more than anything to snuggle up next to my Grandpa Toaster.

 

Once we gathered in his living room, Nick and I sitting on the sofa and Deacon in one of the chairs, Nate cleared his throat and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not up for planning any escapades to the Glowing Sea just yet. But, I do want to go over what I’m _hoping_ will come out of the next few days, if not week or so.” With that, he turned to Deacon and said, “I’m hoping, with your expertise, you can help High Rise with finishing up the safe house. With experience comes knowledge and I hope you can help us make it look like any other ordinary settlement from the outside so as to draw minimal attention to it, like it’s just an extension of Sanctuary, here.”

 

Deacon nodded. “Doesn’t sound too difficult.”

 

With that settled he turned to me. “Lia, I need to help them out as much as possible. This alliance is still new and I want to make sure there are no wrinkles on this end of things. Once I get back from the Glowing Sea, while the transmitter is being built, I’m taking you back to the Castle so you can facilitate the Railroad moving their HQ in. Unless,” he shot back to Deacon, “you think that’s too early for them to be ready to move.”

 

He seriously considered the question before he answered, “Maybe, but not likely. I’d say give them at least a couple of weeks to ready everything and mobilize. I mean, sure we made the move after the Switchboard pretty quick, but that was under duress and we obviously had to leave a lot of stuff behind that we didn’t want to. For a proper move, done right, under no other mitigating circumstances … it’ll take a while.”

 

“If you want, I can take Lia with me back to Diamond City, in the meantime,” Nick offered. “I’ll be needing to have a look in on my business there and it’ll be a half-way point between here and the Castle, so she’ll be ready to move out quicker there than here.”

 

Nate nodded. “I can get behind that. This brings me to the next order of business …” He looked Nick square in the eye and said, “I want you to come with me to the Glowing Sea.”

 

“What?” I blurted out without even thinking, the news hitting me like a shockwave. “But why? Why Nick?”

 

Nate seemed prepared for an explanation. “Deacon and I found those Hazmat suits in the Switchboard you mentioned, however after further inspection, the seams were frayed and there a couple of small holes in them.” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t even want to go out to the Glowing Sea in that, I would never ask someone else to take that kind of risk. Therefore, since I would really prefer not to go it alone, I need someone who will be unaffected by the radiation there.”

 

“And who better than a prototype synth, eh?” Nick mused, his eyes flicking to me as he settled his hand on my knee. “Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself. And with Nate, I doubt I’ll even get a scratch.”

 

He winked at me, trying to assuage my fears, but I gulped hard, contemplating the worst. Of course, I couldn’t lose either of these men, both of them very important to me. Nate wasn’t just a central part of my plans - even though he was that as well - I also sympathized with the man and wanted to ensure he had as best a life as possible in this wasteland, after he’d been screwed out of a truly peaceful pre-war life. His wife was dead, his son was old and dying, and he was left with little to pick up the pieces with. And Nick … of course, I’d already accepted how I felt about Nick, and how he felt about me, and so far it had been wonderful. But now that we were going to be apart for the first time since we met, I felt nervous and on edge and almost tearful contemplating how I was going to spend the next few days without him. I wanted to hold him close and never let him go. But Nick was his own man, he could make his own decisions, and he was going with Nate willingly. Ultimately, I _had_ to let him go, whether I liked it or not. I simply nodded and looked away, trying not to betray the tears that were already growing in my eyes. I couldn’t fall apart in front of these men like a little schoolgirl in love, I had to be strong. I was the Major general of the Minutemen, these days that _meant_ something. I had a reputation to uphold and live up to, and bursting into tears over being separated from one’s significant other was certainly not the way to do it. This world was tough and unforgiving and I had to adapt and overcome or be swallowed by it.

 

After the brief meeting, Preston was waiting for us outside. Or, specifically, he was waiting for me. His face brightened with a wide smile as he saw me emerge, approaching me as he said, “Hey, was hoping to catch up to ya. I know you’ve seen that we’ve been busy with rebuilding and repairing, but we didn’t forget you.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

He tilted his head toward the cul-de-sac. “Follow me.” And so I did, wondering just what was up. We didn’t go far, maybe a couple of houses down, before he stopped and opened the door, beckoning me inside. “I know it’s not much right now, but this was one of the houses that was easily fixable, and we wanted you to have it.”

 

I don’t think I fully comprehended what he was saying at first. “What?”

 

“Remember when I told you that you’d always have a home here with us? I had initially meant that in the philosophical sense, but … well, the settlers kind of took that literally, too. This is your own home, for as long as you want it.”

 

I swallowed hard, genuinely touched by such a kind gesture. “I … I don’t know what to say, but …” I threw my arms around him and hugged him close, murmuring, “Thank you.”

 

Preston returned the hug and replied, “Thank _you_. You sent Nate after us and have helped us out at every turn, even though you didn’t have to. This is just a small token of our appreciation for you. Oh,” he added as he pulled away, winking, “I think you’ll appreciate what Codsworth has done with the bedroom.”

 

I had, admittedly, seen little of the robotic butler, but even when I was living in Sanctuary we were usually immersed in opposite activities. The most I would see him was bobbing along and helping with clean up while I went off with Preston for shooting practice or started helping out with something completely different. I had to wonder just what Preston was talking about as I told him good night and retreated into the house, Nick on my heels. I couldn’t remember each of the houses and their various states of disarray - though I did remember thinking that it wasn’t quite as ruined a sub-division as in game when I initially entered Sanctuary - but this house seemed more or less immaculate, if not for the stains of time that just couldn’t be scrubbed out. Of course, the stove wouldn’t work, and the fridge was more or less for general storage these days than anything else, but everything was fairly clean, all things considered. The living room was simplistic, just a couch and a couple of chairs, but I wasn’t looking to entertain anyone. Down the hall, there was a little bathroom with a tub hooked up to a waterline. Still no way to heat it, but it would be nice to have a way to wash easily accessible for once. Across from the bedroom was another, smaller room, where an office was set up with an old-fashioned roll-top desk, a rolling chair, and some bookshelves for storage. The bedroom, however, was the real gem.

 

I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand when I entered, completely floored by everything that Codsworth had poured into it, impressed by the depth of consideration and thought that had gone into such a project. I wasn’t super girly by any means - too many lacy frills and I practically started to get nauseas - but there was a subtle feminine flair that permeated the whole room. The curtains that hung over the double window were a light pink embroidered with either a white or light grey thread, depending on how time had treated it, and the bed was covered in a similar throw, with a light-coloured quilt folded up at the foot. A large armchair with a light floral pattern sat in the corner, under the windows, with a small table and lamp right beside it, perfect for curling up to read a book or to just sit and look out the window. Two large dressers were set up, one against each large stretch of wall, and upon inspection it looked like there were several clothing items that had been added to it. I wasn’t sure if they were donations from the settlers or if someone like Trashcan Carla had already come through, but I felt relieved that I finally had some different clothes to wear. Despite absolutely loving the Vaultsuit, it would be nice to wear some _real_ clothes once in a while. Even the closet had a couple of sweaters and what looked like a heavy field jacket, a godsend for the colder weather if I wouldn’t be wearing the blue jumpsuit provided by Nate. I was absolutely gobsmacked, touched beyond words at the kindness, so much so I temporarily forgot about Nate and Nick leaving the next day for the Glowing Sea or the wait I was about to have to endure on pins and needles. For just a moment, life seemed normal, or as close as it was going to get.

 

Nick seemed pretty impressed as well. “Looks like they got you set up pretty nicely, here.” He chuckled as he added, “You sure you wanna leave this behind for Diamond City once I get back?”

 

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around the synth detective. “It’s wonderful, of course, but I’d rather be anywhere you are.”

 

He reciprocated, wrapping his arms around me as he gently kissed my forehead. “You’re too sweet, doll.”

 

I nestled my face in his chest. “Nah. Just for you.”

 

I felt the rumble of his chuckle through his chest as his fingers combed through the bottom of my hair. “You wanna go to bed? It’s been a long day.”

 

I sighed. It had been a long day, but first things first. “I think I’ll take a quick bath first. I need to wash up and wash my clothes.” I tilted my head and gave him a quick kiss. “Why don’t you pick out something for me to wear while I do that?”

 

If I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn that the old synth _purred_ at that suggestion, and grinned at him as I gave him one more peck before I sat down on the bed to remove my boots and opened my pack to grab a towel and my soap and brush before I skipped off to the bathroom. Once inside, I started the water running before I stripped out of my jumpsuit, setting it and my underwear and socks near the tub before I jumped in. I immediately seized up for a moment at the cold water, but I breathed deeply and got adjusted to it by the time it filled up to a reasonable level. There was definitely no extra long, lounging baths to be taken in this world, not unless you had the luxury of hot water, and the only places I could possibly think of having that particular amenity was Cabot House and the Prydwen. Speaking of, I wondered when Arthur Maxson would be sailing in. Unless I’d somehow missed the news, the Brotherhood of Steel airship hadn’t made an appearance yet. I wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but as I washed up I decided it was likely a good thing as it meant we didn’t have to worry about an abundance of Brotherhood forces roaming the Commonwealth while the Railroad and the Minutemen were trying to do their thing. I was pretty sure that normally the Brotherhood would have left the Minutemen alone, but since we were now allied with the Railroad … well, all bets were off.

 

As I washed my hair, I heard a soft knock on the door before Nick’s voice carried across it. “I found something, did you want me to bring it in or leave it in the bedroom?”

 

“Just bring it in here, please,” I replied as I dunked my head under the water to rinse, running my fingers through my medium-length tresses and squeezing them to make sure all the suds were out. I didn’t even hear him come in, but by the time I lifted my head, he had come and gone and left a pile of light pink material on the sink. I grinned as I squeezed excess water out of my hair. Once that was done, it was on to giving my clothes a scrub down, which didn’t take as long as it could have had I not done a wash up at the Castle. I left them in the tub for a moment as I got out of the tub, drying off before I rinsed off my laundry and then hung it up in the bathroom on the old shower rod before I tipped the tub and let the water drain out of the shower drain. After that, I could finally see what it was that Nick had picked for me.

 

As I picked it up to get a good look at it, I saw it was a nightgown, soft and sensuous feeling. It came about a few inches above the knee and was sleeveless, its only decoration a small corded bow that was tied at the neckline. I smirked as I slipped it on, getting a feel for Nick's tastes as the smooth material felt amazing against my bare skin. I had forgotten to grab some underwear from my pack, but I figured that wasn’t such a bad thing as I hung up the towel and ran a quick brush through my hair before exiting the bathroom.

 

I leaned against the door jamb of the bedroom, my smirk growing even wider as I saw that Nick was sitting on the armchair, his jacket tossed over the back of it and his tie loosened. It seemed he was as primed and ready for action as his choice in clothing for me had suggested, along with the fact that he had drawn the curtains. His eyes smouldered under the brim of his hat, his stripped, mechanical hand resting near the knot of his loosened tie as if he had just been tugging on it. “Like what you see, _Detective_?”

 

The corner of his lips tugged upward in a small smirk. “Of course. It looks even better on you than I’d thought.”

 

I chuckled and walked over to him, straddling his lap and pulling him into a kiss. “So you like pretty lingerie, huh?”

 

“I am a man, princess, I’m not immune to the effects of satin and lace,” he replied, tugging me down for another kiss while his hands roamed, first settling around my waist as he held me close, then slipping lower until they brushed my bare thighs. His tongue made its way past my lips as his fingers lifted the hem of the nightgown, skirting around my hip before dipping toward my slit. I could practically feel his eyebrow raise as he withdrew. “No panties?” I only grinned in return, and he returned it. “Well, well, well, look’s like Daddy’s girl is being naughty.” He pulled me close as he murmured, “You know what happens to naughty girls, don’t you?”

 

“No, but I think I wanna find out,” I replied as I ground against his hips, feeling his hardness already starting to grow.

 

His arm across my waist stilled me and he looked me directly in the eyes as he said, “Listen closely, doll, because this is important. If you ever feel uncomfortable, or feel like things are going too far for you, for whatever reason, just say ‘red’ and it’ll stop, okay? No judgements, no punishments, just ‘red’. Understand?” I nodded, but he just shook his head. “I need to hear you say you understand, princess.”

 

“I understand.”

 

He smiled widely. “That’s a good girl.” He pulled me into a crushing, claiming kiss, similar to our first one, and I swore I was getting wetter by the second as we made out on the armchair. I knew we wouldn’t stay there too long, but Nick seemed intent on enjoying the moment for what it was before moving on to whatever it was he wanted to do. He finally pulled away and looked me dead int he eye as he told me, “Up on the bed, on your knees. Grip the headboard.”

 

I obeyed wordlessly, getting up and stepped over to the bed, crawling up the mattress until I was at the head of the bed before I reached out and took hold of the headboard while bending over, my damp hair hanging over my shoulder. With the position I was in, the hem of the nightgown rode high, offering no coverage for me whatsoever. The bed sank with Nick’s weight as he crawled up to join me, his fingertips skimming over my thighs before they pushed my nightgown up to my waist. For a few moments, all he did was run his fingers over me, producing goosebumps in their path, and I wondered what exactly he had planned when his palm suddenly struck my exposed left cheek.

 

A gasp was forced from my throat as I jumped slightly in surprise at the action. I would have been lying if I’d said I’d had any sexual experiences that weren’t vanilla, though it wasn’t like I hadn’t occasionally thought about it. The whole daddy kink had been near the top of my list, but I’d felt weird about pushing it onto one of the guys that I’d dated. Like it was going too far or asking too much. With Nick, it had started out as a little joke and had simply evolved into more. I’d loved his domineering bedroom persona, but I hadn’t known it would lead to anything more. Spanking was one of those things that I had considered and thought, _Why the hell would I willingly take a spanking?_ But right now, in the moment, the momentary sting was quickly replaced with heat and arousal and I couldn’t help the stifled moan that caught in my throat. Nick waited, likely judging my reaction and seeing if there was any resistance to him. There was none to be had as I leaned my head against one of my arms and said nothing, protested nothing. I trusted him to not go too far, and if I felt that he was, I always had that word to fall back on. I had a feeling I wouldn’t need it, though, as Nick measured out two more swats against my left side and I swear I felt like I was dripping.

 

I bit my lip as his fingers brushed over my slit, and his deep chuckle did insanely sinful things to me as he murmured, “You really like this, huh?” It wasn’t a direct question, he wasn’t expecting an answer, and with the way his fingers were sliding up and down my folds I didn’t think I could have come up with anything coherent anyway, especially when he started up a subtle vibration. Suddenly, as he slipped two fingers inside me, his ungloved hand came down on my right cheek and I couldn’t stifle the noise that time. My fingers gripped the headboard so hard my knuckles turned white and my toes curled at the sensation. If Nick had any kind of reaction to mine, I wouldn’t have known because I was far too wrapped up in all the sensations that were hitting me one right after the other, seemingly conflicting at first before tying themselves together and fusing into one overarching jolt that simply pushed me closer and closer to the edge. He increased the vibrations in his fingers, using his thumb to rub on my clit as he landed three more smacks against my right cheek. Fuck, I was close, so far gone that at first I barely even heard his question. He smacked my ass again and repeated, “I said, are you going to be a good girl?”

 

“Yes,” I whimpered.

 

“Yes, what?” he asked, his metal fingertips grazing my sore cheek.

 

“Yes, Daddy.”

 

“Good,” he purred, and I swore I could have come undone from that alone. I was teetering right on that edge, just needing an ounce more to push me over, and I soon got it as he bent over and latched his lips around my clit and then that was it. I clenched hard around his fingers as I spiralled, my fingernails digging into the wood of the headboard as I rode it out. As it finally rode down, I was as loose as a noodle and I slumped over on the bed, my head hitting the pillows and my ass still up in the air. Nick tugged me down and flipped me over in one smooth motion, settling between my legs and pressing into me as he leaned down to ravish me with a kiss. He swallowed the moan I let out as he breached me, and I wrapped my legs around him as he gently rocked back and forth for the time being. He quickly sped up, however, propping himself up over me as he snapped forward hard. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as they closed, one of the sleeves of my nightgown slipping down and exposing my right breast. He didn’t miss a beat, fucking me hard and deep as his flesh-covered fingers played with my nipple, twisting and pinching. His vibration setting was low and steady, just enough to register but not enough to overstimulate or push me too far too fast as he leaned over to scrape his teeth down my neck. The moans and mewls he pulled from me were downright obscene as he reached down to help hoist my one leg up higher to give him an even deeper level of penetration, all the while steadily increasing his vibration. As he pushed me over the edge one more time, I pulled him right along with me, and we both shuddered in each other’s arms, not even able to speak a word. We simply laid there for a few minutes, breathing deeply, holding on to the other like we were afraid we’d lose each other. Maybe it was a subconscious action on my part, but I wanted him nowhere else but by my side, at that moment and for forever. But I couldn’t. Nick was his own man, and he was needed elsewhere, and I knew that. For the time being, though, he was all mine, and I clung to that moment like my life depended on it.


	10. Where you are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was kind of worried about this chapter ending up being kind of short, and it actually went better and longer than I thought it would. Success!

' _Cause I can't stand bein' apart from you_  
_Just to think of your smile_  
_Sooths my soul for a while ..._

_ ~~ "Where you are", Rahsaan Patterson_

 

_ \------------ _

 

The new day dawned, and after I woke I simply laid there next to Nick, comfortably nestled next to him. I’d gotten quite used to either having him sleep with me or having him close by while I slept, so I knew that come that night that it was going to be difficult to go to sleep. _I’ll just have to throw myself into helping the Railroad with their safe house. If I work hard enough, maybe I’ll just crash_. Probably not the healthiest plan, but … hey, it was something.

 

For the moment, though, I relished his presence, and the feeling of his fingers drifting up my bare arm made me smile. I nuzzled into his shirt and I swear Nick _purred_. “Sleep well?” he drawled.

 

I chuckled. “I think you know I did.” I shifted so that I could look up at his face, meeting his gaze as he looked back at me. Even though I was well aware of what Nick looked like, in real life it somehow felt different, and I was determined to burn this image into my brain. I never wanted to even chance forgetting every line and imperfection and texture in his face.

 

“You act like you’re never gonna see me again. You know something you ain’t telling me?”

 

I shook my head. “Nah. I just … I don’t know. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself, okay? If shit goes sideways out there, do whatever you have to so you can come back to me. Promise?”

 

He sealed it with a kiss. “I promise. Ain’t a thing in this world that would keep me away from you, doll.” I still felt uneasy with sending him out to the Glowing Sea, but I had to have faith that both he and Nate were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves in this wasteland.

 

Once I got up, I didn’t even bother with pulling on my Vaultsuit. Even though it was likely dry, I was tired of wearing the same damn thing, and for once I just wanted to blend in with everybody. So I pulled on a pair of loose jeans and a white tank top, buttoning up a faded red flannel shirt to help guard against the chill in the air. Out of my pack, I pulled an elastic band that I’d found in the Diamond City market, and once my hair was brushed free of tangles, I pulled my hair up into a ponytail. While I liked having my hair down, I figured it would be more helpful to have it up and out of my face if I was going to be working. First things first, though … I was going to have to help Nate and Nick with a walkthrough for what to expect going through the Glowing Sea. Fortunately, there were not as many deathclaws as I had initially thought there would have been when I started playing the game. Really only two to worry about, and one was very easily avoidable. The radscorpions were more of a worry, but for a couple of guys were pretty excellent shots, they hopefully wouldn’t be too much of a problem. _Right?_

 

Nate was already up and drinking a cup of coffee with Preston over by the fire. How those two could tolerate that dark, bitter brew with no kind of sweetener at all was beyond me, as even the smell made my stomach want to turn, but I digressed. Mama Murphy was pan frying up what looked like brahmin bacon, and from the sizeable stack that was already done, she was apparently planning on feeding an army. I had no complaints, however, as I grabbed a piece and dug in, giving the cook a quick kiss on the cheek. “Mornin’, Mama Murphy.”

 

She chuckled low. “Same to you, kid.” She didn’t seem quite as grumpy as she had been the night before, so maybe she was adjusting to life without chems. Or maybe she was just a morning person.

 

After breakfast, Nate gathered Nick and I into his living room and sat us down for some planning. There wasn’t as much to plan with the Glowing Sea as there had been with other missions, but I was able to show him on his Pip-Boy the approximate location of where he would need to aim for and where to definitely avoid along with what enemies he could expect to encounter along the way. This wasn’t going to be a day-long mission, so I gave him some suggestions on where he could camp out along the way in relative safety. All in all, we expected it to take about 3-4 days, depending on how long it would actually take Virgil to draw up the plans we would need. Nate expected it to be closer to two and a half days, but I was generous in my timeline mainly so I wouldn’t worry if they went overly long into the mission. Of course I wanted it to be over more quickly, but with the way my anxiety went, I would be a wreck if they took closer to four days when I was expecting them sooner. I was hoping that between the generous timeline and working at the new safe house, the next few days would fly by.

 

I could hope, at least.

 

After the meeting, Nate wanted to get going and put in as much distance as he could. I followed both him and Nick outside, watching Nate climb into his power armour. I bit my lip as I said to Nick, “Remember your promise.”

 

He smiled and cupped my cheek. “I will. I’ll always come back to you, princess.” He leaned down for a goodbye kiss, and the longest, most passionate kiss wouldn’t have been long enough for me before we parted. Then he was walking down the street with Nate, heading for the bridge that would take them out of Sanctuary. Just before they went around the bend near the Red Rocket station, Nick looked back, threw me a smile, and tipped his hat before he disappeared from sight. I wanted to run after him, wanted to watch him from the hill beside the Red Rocket as they marched on into the distance, but I couldn’t. This was already hard enough, I couldn’t make it even harder on myself.

 

Dogmeat nudged my hand, and I gave him a pet as I told him, “Don’t worry, they’ll be fine.” It was more of a reassurance for myself, but Dogmeat took it in stride, opening his mouth wide to pant as he wagged his tail. “Wanna come with me to work on the safe house?”

 

He woofed quietly in a way that I took to be affirmative and so after a quick detour to grab my 10mm - just to be safe - we both made our way down the road and over the bridge to the old Red Rocket. High Rise and Deacon were already up and at em, sorting out some junk to see what was useful before they started up work on the structure itself. Deacon gave me a wave as I approached, calling out in greeting, “Was wondering when we might see you. Looks like Nate and Nick just took off.”

 

I nodded. “Sorry, I would’ve been here sooner, but I had to brief them on what to expect in the Glowing Sea.”

 

“Understood. I’m just glad I’m not the one going with him.”

 

I plunked myself down on the ground next to him. “What can I help with?”

 

Deacon handed me a screwdriver and some other tools and then directed me to take apart the items in the pile, items like radios and toasters and other little appliances and separate out the scrap so they could easily source it when they needed it. Since I was taking over for Deacon in that area, he was able to go and help High Rise with the building part, which was coming along nicely. I had been able to take a peek at High Rise’s plans so far, and they were pretty ambitious, but he was excited and I knew with the resources at hand we would be able to achieve his vision. Despite his ambition, he was also very pragmatic, and he had practical and easily achievable goals all along the way. It made me quite excited to see the finished product. This whole thing could end up being even better than I’d thought when I initially conceived of the plan. And hey, I was all for that.

 

I worked as quickly and as efficiently as I could, breaking down the junk and separating out the goods so that whenever High Rise or Deacon came by, they could just grab whatever they might need instead of rifling through the pile to find something that might have what they need and then breaking it down themselves just to get one or two things. I also served as a lookout of sorts, since I sat right outside the door and got to give them any advance warning should someone or something unscrupulous start roaming the area. High Rise had already gotten a couple of turrets set up, but an advanced, human warning never hurt, either. Dogmeat kept watch with me, roaming around here and there and sniffing random bushes and sticks before loping back toward me and sprawling in the dirt. Despite not having Nick with me, it was actually pretty nice. I didn’t have any kind of building experience, so me assisting them in that way was pretty much out of the question. But this, this I could do, and if I ever finished then I would find something else that I could do, anything to help. It was the very least I could do for the people that I cared about.

 

After a quick, shared lunch, they actually did need my help with some things, not in anything technical but more of the moving and holding things for them variety. I wasn’t the strongest, but I was determined to help them in whatever way they needed, and so I did anything they asked, even though my arms and my back quickly became sore. _I really need to work out more, at least with some stretches or something._ I wasn’t soft, exactly, or even out of shape, but I still wasn’t quite cut out for that kind of work. I did it anyway, though. They needed the help and I was there to help and that was all that mattered. I at least had a decent mattress to lie down in once the day was over, so it wasn’t like I only had a sleep roll on top of a hard surface to look forward to, and that was something. Sure it would be empty, but I shoved those kinds of thoughts as far out of my head as I could, throwing myself into the work with reckless abandon.

 

That night, it took everything in me just to trudge up the road and back to my house. Dogmeat ran along beside me, still full of energy because for him, this had been a pretty easy day. I resisted the urge to cuss him out for his excitement, mainly because he was cute as all hell as he bounded back and forth between me and various little scent distractions, tail wagging and tongue out. _Lucky_. By the time I finally made it back to the house, I really just wanted to collapse in the bed, but I was sweaty and dirty and I wasn’t about to sully my sheets. If my sheets had to get dirty, I would rather they be dirty for other, more fun reasons than just a hard day spent working. So, as much as I didn’t want to do anything but lie down, I went to the bathroom first and filled up the tub after I set down a bowl of water and some food for Dogmeat. He’d followed me right into my house, so I figured he probably wanted to stay with me for the night, and I wasn’t about to kick him out. After one of the most basic baths I’d taken since I’d gotten here, I got out, dried off, and made my way back to my room. I didn’t feel like wearing anything nice, anything Nick might appreciate, because then it would just make the separation seem that much more bitter, and so I opted for a long and overly large sleep shirt before I slipped in between the sheets. As I settled in, I heard the clacking of Dogmeat’s nails on the floor, and soon enough a large body jumped into the bed next to me. I chuckled, too tired to even scold him for getting into the bed with his dirty body and definitely too far gone to get up and give him a bath at this juncture and so I simply turned over and threw my arm over the canine. “Night, Dogmeat,” I whispered, and he licked my face in response before we both drifted off.

 

The next day went by very similar to the first, and the day after that as well. I did my best to focus on the work in front of me and not think about my Grandpa Toaster somewhere in the depths of the Glowing Sea, but whenever I had downtime he drifted back into my thoughts. I knew it probably wasn’t healthy to be missing him this much, especially since our relationship was so very knew, but I couldn’t help the way I felt. It was like we had a solid connection, something that I couldn’t really explain, like we were just perfectly suited for each other. Which was strange, considering the huge difference in worlds that we came from and inhabited, but what we felt between us couldn’t be denied. I had to thank whatever deity was real that Deacon was around, because the spy was incredibly intuitive to me and my mood and he did his best to distract me even during downtime. Between him and Dogmeat hanging close, I wasn’t as depressed as I had anticipated during Nick’s absence. It was still hard not having him near, yes, but it was bearable.

 

On the third day since Nate and Nick had left Sanctuary, we had progressed even further than I’d thought we would on building the new safe house. It also helped that Tinker Tom showed up that morning and Sturges came down from Sanctuary, free from his recent little pet project up there and willing to offer a helping hand. As I’d suspected, he and Tom really hit it off, jibber jabbering away about technical things that the rest of us couldn’t follow at all. I had to chuckle as I shook my head, glad to see genuine friendships naturally blossoming between the different factions, just further proof that this whole thing could work, _was_ working. It was encouraging to see progress like this, and with the extra help we were able to strike close to High Rise’s goals. Maybe another day or two and they could finish up, even if I ended up leaving when Nate and Nick returned. If they returned before then. I hoped they would. Not only because I missed Nick but because I wanted their mission to be successful. The sooner Nate could enter the Institute and connect with Shaun the more time he would have to bond with him as much as possible and convince him that the decision to hand the Institute over to Nate upon his death was the right choice.

 

As we were wrapping up for the day, I went ahead and sent Deacon to Sanctuary so he could take a bath. He had been stewing for the past few days, since they hadn’t been able to get the bathroom completely hooked up yet, and between all the guys there it was starting to smell a little … musty. I cleaned up and swept to try to keep the place kept up, wanting the safe house to be as nice as it could possibly be considering it was nestled smack dab in the middle of a post-apocalyptic world. Sometimes it was the little things that made it still feel like there was a bit of civility in the heart of the madness that ran rampant across the wasteland.

 

In a much shorter time than I had figured, Deacon came loping back to the Red Rocket, his face still dirt-streaked. I quirked an eyebrow, and he shrugged. “Bath house was occupied. Guess I gotta wait to get washed up.”

 

I chuckled. “Come on, you can use my tub. I’m finished up here, anyway.” Setting the broom down, I waved goodbye to High Rise. Tom and Sturges were deep in discussion about some future plans for the safe house, and when they got into a conversation like that, we had already learned it was best to just leave them to it. As we stepped out, a large thunderclap sounded overhead, making me jump.

 

Deacon rolled his eyes. “Great, a radstorm. Welp, might as well get inside, if you really don’t mind me using your tub then I’ll probably be posted up in your house for a hot minute.”

 

I shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

 

“Well then let’s go, don’t wanna be out when it really starts coming down.”

 

Unfortunately, we didn’t get much of a choice, as before we even got to the bridge the sky cracked open and it started raining in sheets. I wasn’t opposed to rain, but it did sting a little bit, and I was eager to get in and out of it. Dogmeat ran ahead, making a beeline for the house and I could see him sit by the door as he waited for us. As we approached Nate’s house, however, my stomach turned and cramped and I almost doubled over, suddenly dizzy and short of breath. _What the fuck?_

 

Deacon tugged on my arm. “Hey, c’mon, we can’t stop out here. We can rest when we get in the house.”

 

“I … I don’t feel so good.”

 

The spy looked a little closer at me. “Shit.” Before I could say anything else, he hauled me up and half-jogged toward my house. It was probably a good thing, because I was feeling more sick by the second, the nausea coming and going in waves. I could only pray that I wouldn’t start hurling before I could make it to the bathroom. As it was, it felt like it might be a photo finish.

 

As soon as Deacon opened the door and let us in, I lurched to my unsteady feet and stumbled to the bathroom, heaving before I even made it to the toilet, though thank whatever gods there may be that I managed to keep back the wave of vomit before I had a proper receptacle for it. My stomach twisted and cramped as I heaved again and again, emptying all of my stomach’s contents and then some. The acrid taste of bile stung my throat and the edges of my nasal passages, making everything feel like it was on fire and only making the gag reflex worse. I desperately spit, trying to rid my mouth of that awful taste, but it wasn’t going away anytime soon. I couldn’t even find it in me to feel embarrassed by my condition, my whole world was centred on the toilet at the moment. After a particularly nasty dry heave that wrenched my whole body so hard tears squeezed out of my eyes, I felt a hand on my back and a cool, damp cloth on my forehead. I was sweating and yet shivering as I closed my eyes, grateful for the spy’s gentle, comforting motions on my back. I was _fairly_ sure the vomiting episode was over, but I wasn’t about to take chances by moving from my spot. I wasn’t even sure if I could move at all with the way I was shaking and how the room seemed like it was spinning. I had only opened my eyes a couple of times since getting to the bathroom and had immediately closed them, not wanting to exacerbate my sick stomach any more than necessary.

 

After several minutes with no dry heaves, Deacon gently murmured, “I take it you haven’t been taking any Rad-X?”

 

I shook my head, not sure if I even wanted to speak yet, unsure if the strain on my vocal chords would cause another round of heaving and gagging.

 

He sighed. “That’s not good. Even if you aren’t sick, you should still take it so you can build up a resistance. Even though I won’t just stand out there in the middle of a radstorm, I can still get to shelter without getting sick. That’s the difference.”

 

_Am I really being scolded right now?_ I chanced to open an eye, just enough to throw a pitiful glare at him. He didn’t have to rub it in that he was perfectly healthy even after being in the radstorm the exact amount of time I was. He wasn’t the one whose abdominal muscles ached from the powerful heaving that I’d just been doing.

 

The spy chuckled softly at my reaction. “I’m not trying to scold you, just trying to impress the importance of taking it consistently for the future. At the moment, the only thing that’ll help is some RadAway.”

 

That made me react. My whole body jumped and both eyes flew fully open, widening as I shook my head.

 

He shrugged. “Your choice, but unless you wanna be down for a few weeks, I’d let me hook you up if I were you.”

 

I slumped over again, clutching the toilet as I closed my eyes and shivered violently. I couldn’t take being sick like this for _weeks_ but at the same time, I was deathly afraid of needles. A strange phobia, not triggered by anything in particular, but a phobia nonetheless. Just the thought of that sharp steel carving through my skin made me whimper and threatened more dry heaving.

 

Deacon, on the other hand, was still in the dark. “Why, what is it?”

 

I got up the courage to utter one word. “Needles.” My voice was hoarse and rough from the punishment my throat had just taken. It weirdly almost didn’t even sound like me.

 

He scooted closer to me and put a hand on my shoulder. “I know, but it’s the only way you’re going to get better, at least without going through _this_ for a few weeks. I wasn’t too crazy about needles, either, but with all the surgeries I had to have working with the Railroad, well … I kinda got desensitized.”

 

As with most things when it came to Deacon, I had no idea if what he was saying was actually true or if he was just saying it to make me feel better. The way his thumb gently caressed my shoulder, however, wanted me to believe that the comfort he wanted me to feel was genuine, so I supposed that was good enough. I sighed heavily, not really looking forward to this, but knowing I had to do it. There was too much at stake in these upcoming weeks, too many important things I needed to do or oversee, I couldn’t just defer a RadAway treatment and tough it out for my own comfort. There were far more important things going on. That meant I had to bite the bullet and do it.

 

Didn’t make it any easier, however, and I think Deacon knew that as he said, “Why don’t I grab something comfortable for you to change into, you can lie down in your bed, and then rest from there. It’ll be easiest that way.”

 

_Ugh, why does he have to make sense?_ “Okay, um … first dresser on the left, top drawer.” I steered him far, far away from the lacy, silky contents of the other dresser. Not that it was something he hadn’t seen before, but still, it would just be weird to have the spy rummaging through my lingerie like that. This at least bought me a little time to come to terms with the whole thing, and I was glad he was being accommodating. He could have simply left me to suffer or force the cure on me, but instead he was making sure that I was as comfortable as I could possibly be, and that earned him some props.

 

He reentered the bathroom within a few minutes and helped me to my feet. My balance was off, but he compensated for me and helped me into the bedroom. From there, he turned around as I sat on the bed and undressed before redressing in the loose white tank and light blue lounge shorts that he’d pulled out of my dresser for me. Once I was ready, he helped me into the bed, on my usual side, settling me in before he fetched his pack and a dose of RadAway that was tucked inside. I gulped hard, tensing as I heard him prepare everything, and between hanging the bag and tearing off strips of tape to secure the needle once it was in, I valiantly tried not to think of what was about to happen. “Hey,” Deacon said as he tapped my arm, “relax. Or at least try to. The more you tense up, the more it will hurt. Just take deep breaths. In and out. Just like that.” He pulled the safety off of the needle and asked, “Do you want me to warn you or just do it?”

 

“Give me a three count,” I pleaded.

 

He nodded. “Will do.” He searched for a suitable vein first, and I did my best to not tense up, trusting him to not just stick me. Once he’d found one, he asked, “You ready?” I nodded and turned my head away, not even wanting to see his movements. He counted rhythmically to three and then pushed it in, my skin giving way easily to the sharp steel, and I gasped and tried to just focus on my breathing. After some adjustment and securing the needle’s position with tape, he announced, “There, all done. You did beautifully, Oracle.”

 

“Thank you,” I breathed as I turned to face him again. Now that it was over with, I didn’t feel as panicky sick as I had earlier, and now the RadAway could do its job. I hoped it would work quickly, especially seeing what I had to go through in the first damn place.

 

He nodded. “Of course. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll take you up on that bath offer, leave the RadAway to work its magic on you. I’ll check in once I’m done, okay?”

 

“Sure. Go take a bath. You need it,” I added with a smirk.

 

He chuckled. “Already getting back to normal, I see.”

 

I closed my eyes and he let me be, and soon after I heard water running in the bathroom. I sank back into the mattress, the shaking starting to calm down some, but I still felt feverish with the random hot and cold flashes. I’d pull the thick blanket on top of me for a little while and then push it off when I overheated, constantly switching back and forth as my body’s internal temperature tried to regulate itself against the radiation sickness. I let my mind drift, dozing slightly as I continued to wait for the RadAway to finish its thing.

 

The next thing I knew, Deacon shook my shoulder gently. “Here, drink some of this. The syrup will help your stomach.”

 

I opened my eyes to see he was holding a bottle of Nuka Cola. I hadn’t tried the famed beverage yet - I wasn’t much for pop, personally - but if it would help quell the nausea that still lurked on the edge, then I would definitely try it. It was surprisingly light with an interesting taste that I would have pegged as “off brand” compared to something like Coca Cola or Pepsi, but it wasn’t bad. It wouldn’t make me make a habit of drinking it, but I knew now it would be a nice drink. I sipped it slowly for now, leaving the bottle on the floor at the edge of my bed. I directed Deacon to eat whatever he wanted out of the kitchen, the whole mi casa es su casa kind of thing. Neither of us were sure how long the radstorm would last, and I knew he had to be hungry after all the work he put in earlier. I would have been, too, except for the whole radiation sickness taking over. But, no reason for him to starve, so I sent him on his way and went back to dozing and readjusting the blankets whenever my body temperature necessitated it.

 

Vaguely, out of the corner of my consciousness, I thought I heard the door open and close. I wondered if Deacon was checking to see how hard it was still raining, perhaps judging if it would be safe to go back to the Red Rocket. I quickly sank back into strange, lucid fever dreams, my brain running wild in its momentary break. The next thing I knew, I heard footsteps by the bed, and I assumed it was Deacon again until cool metal brushed against my cheek.

 

My eyes flew open and I couldn’t have held back the smile if I tried. “Nick!” I exclaimed, a lot weaker than I’d tried to project.

 

He returned the smile, kneeling beside the bed. “Hey, doll,” he simply said, kissing my forehead. “Heard you got sick.”

 

“Fucking radstorm,” I replied as I rolled my eyes, my voice still a little rough.

 

“Your RadAway is all gone. Want me to disconnect it?” I hadn’t even noticed, but I nodded, turning my head away again as he gently worked at the tape. Taking needles out wasn’t quite as bad as putting them in, but with the way I was feeling it was best not to chance it. I barely even felt it when he pulled it out, feeling only the pressure he put on the pinprick wound once it was gone before he taped a piece of cotton over it. “How do you feel?”

 

“Better,” I replied truthfully, settling a hand on his. “Especially now that you’re here.”

 

He chuckled. “Miss me?”

 

“Of course.”

 

He bent over to give me a soft kiss. “I did, too, princess.”

 

After he shucked off his coat and shoes and hat, he joined me under the covers, pulling me close. He could fill me in on everything that happened since he and Nate left Sanctuary later. For now, I just wanted to relish the presence that I’d been missing so much lately, and he seemed more than happy to indulge me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who now ships Sturges and Tinker Tom BECAUSE I SURE DO NOW.


	11. Gospel

_ This is gospel, for the fallen ones, _

_ Locked away in permanent slumber, _

_ Assembling their philosophies _

_ From pieces of broken memories ... _

 

_ But they haven't seen the best of us yet. _

_ If you love me, let me go ... _

 

_ ~~ "This is Gospel", Panic! at the Disco _

 

\------------

 

Between the RadAway and the evening’s rest, I was feeling much better by the next morning. I still felt a bit weak, though that may have been partially due to not eating anything for dinner. At any rate, I didn’t feel like I was dying when I woke up the next morning. I was still tired, so I only ended up pulling on some sweats and a bulky sweater before I made my way over to the campfire for some breakfast. My hair was still rumpled and I really could have used some coffee, but I wasn’t about to get a proper latte so I wasn’t interested. Instead, I nibbled at some toast and jerky in between sips of water as I left Nate and Preston and the rest of the settlers to down that dark, bitter liquid. _Better them than me_.

 

During breakfast, Nate caught me up on their adventures, which included a bit more than just going to and from the Glowing Sea. “By the way,” he said, in between bites of a bacon sandwich, “on the way back, I got a distress call over my Pip Boy’s radio, found a certain tin can over at Cambridge Police Station.”

 

“Paladin Danse?”

 

He nodded. “We helped him get the long range transmitter. I know how they are, but, they were in need and I figured maybe if we helped ‘em out here and there it would look better for us. You know, give us some sort of leverage when it comes to the confrontation.”

 

I shrugged. “Couldn’t hurt. I’m surprised the Prydwen hasn’t made an appearance yet, though maybe they were waiting to hear from Danse’s team.” In game, of course, the Prydwen was scripted to come into play after the player made their way through Fort Hagen, whether they helped Danse or not. But it seemed, if allowed to play out in real life, perhaps they had been waiting on a message from the team in the Commonwealth before moving in. That was the only reason I could think of as to why the Brotherhood of Steel airship hadn’t come in before now. I chuckled under my breath before I asked, “How did Danse take to Nick?”

 

Nate’s eyes flicked over to the synth detective at my side and a grin of amusement curled around his lips. “He was, uh … well he wasn’t overly friendly. But he accepted our help all the same.”

 

“Well, maybe there’s hope for him, yet.” Danse was one of the possible Brotherhood members that I was thinking of that we could recruit for our side, but of course that involved telling him he was a synth, himself. And that brought up another question that I’d been pondering for Sturges … do you tell someone the truth about themselves, or do you just let them live? For Sanctuary’s resident handyman, it might not make that much of a difference for him, but for Danse it would completely upend his whole world and make him question everything he knew and believed in. If we could convince him of the truth, perhaps it would be for the best, as he would be able to think more independently and not just parrot what the Brotherhood believed. But at what cost? And truly, even with Sturges, who’s to say it wouldn’t shake his world to its core, too? Especially because even though I knew he was a synth, I didn’t know for sure if he was an escaped synth or if he was an abandoned Institute plant who had taken the place of the “real” Sturges. I shook my head. _Mornings are not made for philosophical questions like this_.

 

“Either way,” Nate continued, “I also got word from the Railroad. They’re ready to move HQ whenever we’re ready, so after breakfast we’re leaving for the Castle.”

 

That meant, _hurry up and eat and pack_. So before Nate had even finished eating, I took my last piece of toast with me and trudged back to my house, grabbing my pack and shoving in supplies and a couple of changes of clothes before I changed into my Vaultsuit, tucked my 10mm in its holster, and headed out the door, ready to go. Nate only needed to refresh some supplies of his own and it looked like he’d already done so, likely before breakfast. As he hoisted his pack, I noticed Sturges also had a bag with him. “You going with us, Sturges?”

 

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am, somebody’s got to build that molecular relay. Tom and I were looking at the plans last night and I think we got the measure of it. We’ll stop by the safe house on the way and pick him up and then we’ll put it all together at the Castle. Two heads are better than one, after all.”

 

Well, couldn’t argue with that logic. It was almost uncanny the way those two connected but I supposed they had quite a bit to bond over. And so on the way out of Sanctuary, we stopped by the old Red Rocket station for Tom, meeting a small combined group of Minutemen and Railroad agents coming up the road to supplement the safe house and Sanctuary, compensating for the loss of manpower. It was a small comfort to know that the settlers wouldn’t be left without and that Preston would also have help in looking out for them.

 

For most of the journey, we went cross country, above the sprawling metropolitan area that used to be Boston and thus avoiding a lot of hot spots that we would have to be extra careful in navigating. We came out just above Bunker Hill and then swung over to Old North Church first to check in with Dez, and also to rest for a little bit. The whole journey took the better part of the day, and it was evening before we descended the steps to the catacomb entrance. All a part of the plan, I assumed, as it was probably safer to move equipment and the like under the cover of darkness. We were offered food and a little rest before we were back at it, taking what we could as recalled agents picked up everything else. By the time everything had been removed from the old HQ, there was nary a thing left except for the dust and some random, unneeded junk. Every scrap of paper, every mattress, even every spent shell was picked up, making the space seem like little more than a random hidey hole for someone who had moved on long ago.

 

We had to be careful in our traveling, as we didn’t want to draw any more attention to ourselves than a large group of people otherwise would. We broke off into groups and in our groups we kept tight to ourselves, trying our best to disguise our numbers as we crept through the shadows of the night. In my group, aside from myself and Nick, there was also Drummer Boy and Jenny, the synth rescued from Greentech. Dez’s group with PAM was just ahead of us, leading us to the Castle, and Nate’s group - including Carrington - brought up the rear. The leadership of both groups was spread out so, worse case scenario, if we were ambushed then both groups had a greater likelihood of having at least part of its leadership survive. It was a morbid, troubling thought to consider, but a reality we had to take into account.

 

Fortunately, no one tried to accost us during our night travels, and we all reached the Castle just as dawn was breaking. With the West Bastion opening, it was much easier to haul everything down to the tunnels beneath the fort rather than carrying it all through the Castle. Dez and the others of course stayed down there, coordinating where everything needed to go and figuring out how best to use the space while non-Railroad personnel made their way back to the Castle proper, exiting into the morning sunlight of the courtyard. The morning was cool but the mist was starting to lift, the hush of the night still laying heavy over the Commonwealth for now. Soon that would change, but for now all was peaceful.

 

It was broken even sooner than I thought, as while we stood out there, brainstorming where to put the molecular relay, I heard a distinctly familiar hum in the distance, causing me to pause what I was saying mid-sentence. I only vaguely heard Nate question, “Lia?” before I turned and ran up the steps, climbing to the top of the wall. I was exhausted, after recovering from radiation sickness, traveling all day, then only having a little rest before assisting in moving Railroad HQ during the night, but I found a new reserve of energy as I bounded up the steps two at a time. My lungs burned from the sudden burst of exertion after everything else I’d been doing for the past twenty four hours, but I barely felt it as I whirled around and got visual confirmation of what I thought I’d heard.

 

On the horizon, breaking through the mists of dawn, was the large grey airship that I’d been keeping my eyes peeled for. I heard pounding footsteps chase after me and come to a stop behind me, but as soon as they drew near they saw the same thing. We simply stood there, watching it as it flew overheard on approach to the airport, unable to do anything even if we wanted to. When it was close enough, I heard the familiar greeting sound over the outside comms of the ship … “People of the Commonwealth, do not interfere. Our intentions are peaceful. We are the Brotherhood of Steel.”

 

_Great, so now the Brotherhood is officially in play._ It seemed they didn’t wait too long after Danse got his long range transmitter going. The molecular relay couldn’t be built fast enough.

 

As I turned, I saw Nate and Nick standing there, both looking very concerned. “So what does this mean?” Nate asked.

 

“It means we gotta get you into the Institute ASAP. The sooner everything else can be put into motion the sooner we’ll be able to deal with the Brotherhood.”

 

“What do we do until then?”

 

Looking back after the airship, I sighed. “Nothing. Keep our heads down, lay low, don’t give them a reason to fuck with us.”

 

Nate looked thoughtful, scratching the scraggly whiskers on his chin. “When I helped out Danse, at the end he offered an opportunity for me to join the Brotherhood and he hinted that they might be keen for an alliance of some sort. If they come knocking, how do you think I should handle it?”

 

Oof, I hadn’t considered that possibility. In game mechanics were so limited in some ways, I hadn’t even considered the Brotherhood reaching out in an effort to broker an alliance on their own. It made sense, though … they were a new presence in the Commonwealth, what better way to get introduced to it and to reassure the citizens that they meant no harm than associating with the newly rebuilt Minutemen? And in return, the Minutemen could exploit their advanced technology for defence. In reality, the Minutemen had already allied with one of the Brotherhood’s mortal enemies - and were about to ally with the second - which was going to make things rather awkward. We couldn’t gather ourselves to make a move on them just yet, not even for intimidation’s sake. Until then, we had to play along until we could. “Stay friendly, but aloof. Act like you have more important things to think about with the Commonwealth. If they need help with a small mission and we can spare the manpower, go ahead and assist them. Anything to ingratiate ourselves with them so they’ll look away from us while we do what we need to.”

 

“I assume any missions like that will exclude me,” Nick piped up. “No offence, Nate, Danse seemed enough on the level, but I wouldn’t trust any of those other Brotherhood members to not turn around and shoot me in the back.”

 

“I wouldn’t, either,” I added, stepping forward and slipping my hand into his. “And I wouldn’t put you in that position.”

 

“Neither will I,” Nate confirmed. “You’re too good of a friend to risk. If they really end up needing help, I’ll go myself if need be. Let’s just hope they won’t bother us too much until …” He trailed off, and though he didn’t finish his sentence, I knew what he meant. Until he took over the Institute. Until Shaun died. It was the elephant in the room, the one thing we had never touched since that first day when I spilled everything that would happen. Even at Nick’s place we had only glossed over Shaun’s fate. A shadow of pain flickered on Nate’s face, and it tore at me, made me wish for one possible future where he and his son could be happy together. But it was far too late, and we could only act on what was real and happening now. If I had been transported here years before, maybe I could have stopped them from taking Shaun, from killing Nora. But then again, considering the importance of their mission, if I tried to interrupt them they probably would have just killed me. Kellogg hadn’t hesitated to pull the trigger on Nora, Shaun’s own mother, why would he not immediately do the same for a stranger? For me? I internally shuddered, glad I never got the chance to meet Conrad in real life.

 

After a short break for breakfast and a rest, we immediately got to work on the molecular relay with both Tom and Sturges guiding us. Nate and Nick and I were little more than grunts doing work, but with all of us combined - and with my foresight that had advised Nate on special parts we would need that he was able to pick up already - we were able to get it completed that day. Well, when I say that day, it was technically before midnight when we finally put the last piece together. We were all exhausted, and despite the urge to go ahead and get this over with, Nate decided he needed some sleep before he met Shaun.

 

That night, it didn’t take but a second after my head hit my pack’s cushioned pillow and I was fast asleep. It had been a long couple of days my body was about to give out on me whether I got some sleep or not. I had to wonder sometimes when I would get an actual break, one where I could relax and rest up and feel refreshed for once. Then I remembered what all was coming and what had to happen and how I had to help in it, and I felt discouraged about how far there was to go. I wasn’t going to get to truly relax for a while, yet, and that somehow made the exhaustion even worse.

 

It was difficult to wake up the next morning, knowing that what sleep I got was not near what I needed. But I had to prep Nate. There was no way I was going to let him walk into the Institute without knowing what was about to happen and how he would need to act. Up until this point, synth Shaun had been barely mentioned, but I was going to have to explain his role in Nate’s entry into the Institute, and how he would have to handle everything so he wouldn’t give away that he knew who Father really was. This next mission was incredibly important, the sum total of all the struggle and the effort we’d put forth up until now. It was all on Nate now, and Nate alone. If he slipped up it could unravel all of our carefully laid plans for the Commonwealth and endanger us all. I trusted Nate, I trusted him with my own safety and Nick’s and everyone that I cared about. He was more than capable, especially if he was prepared.

 

I caught up with him after I scarfed down some breakfast. I wasn’t sure if he’d eaten already or if he was going on an empty stomach, but he was sipping a mug full of coffee as he looked out into the courtyard at the molecular relay we’d just built. That same hush had fallen during the night, and still remained undisturbed, but today it felt heavier, like the calm before the storm, the deep breath before the plunge. Like something big was about to happen. It was. And we were going to make it happen.

 

I pulled up to Nate’s side and asked gently, “You ready for this?”

 

He nodded slowly. “As ready as I’ll ever be. You gonna give me a rundown on what to expect?”

 

Nate was tense, like a trigger ready to spring. I laid my hand on his arm. “Of course I am. If you need a minute, I’ll be in your quarters.”

 

He didn’t follow me, and so I gave him his space. While I wouldn’t say he was a stereotypical man who clammed up and shoved away any feelings, at the same time Nate wasn’t the kind of guy that just spewed emotion all over the place. If he was happy, of course, he would show it. If he was angry or sad, he tended to withdraw. Sometimes he’d shoot things, other times he’d just stare off into the distance, much like he was doing when I saw him. I had faith in him, though, faith that he was strong enough to withstand the coming storm. Especially because I would stand right there by his side and weather it with him. It was hard enough going through this wasteland as a lone ranger, harder still if it wasn’t really your world to begin with. But whether we got here through enduring cryosleep or other, more mysterious means, here we were. Together. And we were gonna save the whole damn world. Well, our little corner of it, anyway.

 

Nate didn’t wait too long, though, just enough to gather himself before he met me back in his quarters. As much as I hated to do it, I had Nick wait outside, for one to turn away anyone who might disturb us so we could discuss what we needed to, and for two because I wanted to give Nate as much privacy with the sensitive subject that we were able to talk about. Nate and I both sat at the new table that had been put in, across from each other. His expression was grim and I knew what all I was about to tell him wouldn’t make it that much better. “So, what all am I looking at once I get in there?”

 

I told him about the terminal he would need to access for the Railroad that would also give us valuable information about the synths - including Danse - and also be able to contact Patriot. “After you do all of that, head down to the elevator, that’s when Father will contact you.”

 

“Father?”

 

“That’s what they call Shaun, since he’s kind of the father of all of the synths, considering the DNA.”

 

“How does he contact me?”

 

“It’ll be via a loudspeaker, so you won’t be able to really talk to him right away. Just go in the elevator and let it take you down to the right level. You’ll have to take another lift, but it’s the only place you can really go so don’t worry about getting lost. Once you exit the lift, though, that’s when … that’s when you’ll see synth Shaun.”

 

“You’ve mentioned this synth Shaun before, what is he?”

 

“He’s the first child synth that they created. Shaun had him made to look exactly like him when he was about 10 years old.”

 

“So I … I get to see my son as a child?”

 

I nodded. “He won’t recognize you as his father yet, but yes. He’ll call out to ‘Father’ meaning Shaun, and that’s when the real Shaun will enter and give the recall code that will render synth Shaun unconscious. And then that’s when you can talk.”

 

“But he … he’ll look like Shaun did?”

 

Nate was still hung up on synth Shaun, and I wasn’t really surprised. “Shaun made him with a purpose in mind. Once Shaun passes, he’ll implant his childhood memories into him to make him think he’s the real Shaun and then he’ll give him to you. A … gift of penance, if you will, for all the time that was stolen from you.”

 

“So …” he paused, and I could see tears well in his eyes for a moment before he blinked them away. He cleared his throat before he continued, “Sorry. How should I interact with them?”

 

“Well, if you’ve been hunting down Shaun, you’ll think that the synth Shaun is the real one, so treat him as you would your own son. Tell him you’re his father, reassure him, however you would react. Once the real Shaun enters, he won’t say who he is immediately, so you’ll have to proceed as if he’s a stranger until he does.”

 

Nate sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead. “As much as I’ve been working toward this, I’m not really looking forward to it.”

 

I reached across the table to take his hand in reassurance. “I know. I understand this will be difficult, one of the most difficult parts of this whole mission to better the Commonwealth, and you’ll have to do it all by yourself. No one else can help you. I can only advise you on what will happen and what to do, and I’m sorry. I wish there was another way.”

 

He shook his head. “It’s alright, I’ll be fine. This needs to be done. Otherwise, everything else we’ve done doesn’t mean shit.” He flashed me a lopsided grin. “Don’t worry about me, just hold down the fort here for me.”

 

There wasn’t that much more to go over, just who he would meet, some scientists he might want to make contact with, and how and where to meet up with Patriot. I advised him to take his time schmoozing and getting to know people, as the more he ingratiated himself with them the less suspicious they would regard him and the greater reign he would get while he was in there. And, ultimately, the less his position of leader would be resisted once Shaun did pass. I supplied him with a short list of names of scientists who I knew would be sympathetic to synths that he would need to develop a rapport with along with a list of names I knew would not be very happy with freeing synths, and Justin Ayo was at the top of that list. I wasn’t completely sure how to handle them yet, but I was working on it. Worse case scenario, it wouldn’t be hard to frame them for something and have them banished from the Institute. I hated to put anyone in that kind of position, but in the grand scheme of things, if it had to be done then it would be done. These were the sacrifices we would have to make in order to ensure a good future for everyone.

 

Once we wrapped up, I walked with him out to the courtyard where the molecular relay was. Tom and Sturges were already booting it up and making some last minute adjustments. Dez was also waiting, with two holotapes for Nate to take, one to download the information on synths and the other to contact Patriot with. He stuck them in a discreet pocket in his Vaultsuit before giving the signal to Sturges and stepping on the platform. It took them a minute to lock onto the Institute’s signal, but once they did, it just took the flipping of a few switches and a blast of light surrounded Nate before he disappeared completely.

 

It was weird to watch something like that in real life, and I hoped that it really had worked. I had faith in Tom and Sturges, of course, but actually seeing it happen was a little unnerving.

 

With Nate transported to the Institute, we moved fast to disassemble the molecular relay. We didn’t have to, strictly speaking, but Nate wouldn’t need it anymore and if the Brotherhood _did_ come knocking, then I didn’t want to give them any excuse to hassle us. I was already worried that they might have seen the flash when Nate was teleported, or somehow picked up the power surge in one of their scans. If they did, we had to get rid of any evidence of advanced technology, and so we took care of it, stashing the now un-used generators in the West Bastion for later use, by either the Minutemen or the Railroad, whoever needed it first.

 

After that whole business was done, we took an early lunch and then made our way down to the tunnels to help set up the new Railroad HQ. Dez was already busy taking charge, but any helping hands were appreciated, and so while Sturges helped Tom with his own personal setup, Nick and I unpacked boxes and packs and set up shelving for their own supplies. Once we had places to put things, it went a lot quicker and smoother and by the end of the day, it was almost complete. Dusting off my hands, I smirked at Dez and asked, “So, whadya think?”

 

Looking around, she took a drag off her cigarette before she replied, “I’m thinking an alliance wasn’t such a half-brained idea after all. This place is nice. Really nice.” She chuckled as she added, “And the information Nate will bring back is practically priceless. I’m about happy as I can be right now.”

 

_Awesome_. I was starting to get the hang of being Major general, checking in with people and making sure no problems were occurring, and if they were then addressing them. After I confirmed Dez was happy, I made my way back up to the courtyard, checking in with Ronnie Shaw to see if there were any issues that arose in my absence, and she confirmed there was none. _Fantastic. Textbook day, all things considering._ After a short dinner, as the evening wore on into night, Nick and I took a short patrol across the top of the wall, just checking things out and making sure everything was in order. As far as I could see, the Brotherhood had settled in at the airport and it didn’t appear they were going to make any advances toward us, at least not yet. I’d had my fingers crossed, hoping they didn’t try to come our way and start trouble, and while we weren’t out of the woods just yet, we were getting close.

 

As we walked, Nick asked, “How do you think Nate is handling things at the Institute?”

 

“I think Nate’ll be fine. He’s been doing great so far, I have no reason to think otherwise.”

 

“His son hasn’t been involved in it before, though.”

 

That did give me pause, and I sighed. “It’s not going to be easy, I know that. But I’ve done everything I can to prepare Nate for this. It’s out of my hands now. But I have faith in Nate, I know he’ll succeed no matter what happens.”

 

“He’s been gone an awfully long time.”

 

“Well, I told him to take his time in his schmoozing. The better to convince them he’s on their side and all. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t show until until tomorrow.”

 

Nate showed up earlier than that, though. As Nick and I continued our unofficial patrol, a flash of light in the courtyard signalled his return. There was hardly anyone out and about at this hour, and Nate looked around like he was almost dazed. I rushed down the steps, calling his name, but he only looked my way once I set my hand on his shoulder and shook it. “Nate?”

 

Despite the low light, I could see the tears pooling in his eyes, and I immediately ushered him into the Castle and to his quarters, Nick following right behind us and closing the door. I sat my General in a chair and offered him some water, which he took and drank some of, and I hoped he would come out of this shock soon because as calm as I was trying to act, my heart was racing that something had happened, that something had gone wrong. He looked around the room a moment, as if orienting himself, before he locked eyes with me. “Lia, he … he’s so old … I’ve missed … _everything_ … I …” he shuddered as a sob broke from him. I was momentarily rooted to the floor, surprised at the level of emotion he was conveying, but once the initial shock was over I wrapped my arms around him and allowed him the space to fall apart. I had done my best to prepare him for the shock of seeing his son as an old man, but all the prep in the world pales in comparison to reality. It hurt seeing the extent of the impact it had on Nate. If I could have taken some of it on myself, I would have. But I couldn’t. I could only hold him and ruffle his hair in a hopefully comforting manner and let him come down on his own.

 

Once his sobs ceased, he pulled himself out of my arms and dried his eyes, taking a few deep breaths before he cleared his throat and took a swig of water. “Nate, is … are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just … I’m sorry. It was a lot harder than I was thinking it would be, facing Shaun.”

 

I sat down in a chair next to him. “Do you need to talk?”

 

He shook his head. “I can’t dwell on it right now. But I’ll be okay, don’t worry.” He pulled one of the holotapes out of his pocket and handed it to me. “Give that to Dez, it’s the information on the synths. I gotta meet up with a courser at Nahant Wharf tomorrow afternoon, something about a raider gang headed up by a synth at Libertalia. I’m guessing you know what that all is about?”

 

I nodded, and as requested I gave him the rundown. It was a pretty basic raider cleaning job, one he’d been doing for a while now, but it was helpful to know where enemies were going to pop up and what to look out for. It unsettled Nate, the idea of issuing the recall code for the synth in order to take him back to the Institute to have him wiped and reprogrammed, but I reminded him that ordinarily, he would have simply killed him outright as a raider boss. Plus, if we were going to free the synths, “Gabriel” would be freed as well. We just had to bide our time and wait. That did sit better with Nate, and after we were done, I left him to sleep. It had been a rough day for him, he needed as much sleep as he could get. As for me, I was now pretty much in charge of the Castle, being the highest ranking Minuteman there. Nate was going to be spending most of his time now in the Institute or on missions, and Preston was taking care of Sanctuary and the safe house. It was a lot of responsibility, something I wasn’t quite sure I had earned, but I was going to grab it by the horns and do the best job I could. For now, it was all I could do. I just had to hope it was enough. One thing was for sure … we weren’t licked yet. And as long as my heart was beating and my lungs held breath, I would do whatever I had to in order to ensure our success.


	12. A thing called love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not getting this out sooner, I ended up recording a podcast twice yesterday and I just didn't get a chance to finish this up before now.

_Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel,_

_My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel ..._

 

_... I believe in a thing called love,_

_Just listen to the rhythm of my heart,_

_There's a chance we could make it now ..._

 

_~~ "I believe in a thing called love", The Darkness_

 

 

\-----------

 

The hum of activity was minimal as I descended to the new Railroad HQ, holotape in hand to deliver to Dez personally. Most agents had either already tucked in for the night or were about to, but there were a few still up and about. Glory was propped up against the wall, chewing her cuticles as she watched the little action going on. Tinker Tom was hip deep in equipment of his own, though if he was organizing or actually doing something I couldn’t tell. I suspected a little bit of both. Carrington was taking inventory of the medical supplies they had in the little area he’d designated as his, counting and organizing syringes of stimpacks and Med-X, bottles of Rad-X, and bags of RadAway. Dez, as always, stood in the middle of the action, reading a report on a terminal when I entered. She looked up for a moment and nodded as she saw my approach, grinding the stub of her cigarette in an ashtray as she stood. “Oracle,” she greeted, “I assume you have some good news for me?”

 

“I do indeed,” I replied, holding out the holotape for her. “That should be all the information on the synths you’ll need, including past ones.”

 

“Wonderful. I’m sure Tom will be more than happy to parse the information,” she commented as she lead the way over to the resident tinkerer. “Was Bullseye able to make contact with Patriot?”

 

“He was,” I confirmed, though we had only briefly gone over that upon his return. “He would have delivered this himself, but … well, the mission was more taxing than he was betting on.”

 

“I can imagine it wasn’t easy,” she commented, handing the tape over to Tom. “What is his next move, then?”

 

“He’s due to meet with a courser tomorrow at Nahant Wharf to recapture a synth that has taken over a raider gang at Libertalia. It’s the first of a few missions he’ll have to do for the Institute to earn their trust, but nothing that should impact any of our own operations.”

 

“Good. Just keep us in the loop.”

 

“Of course. Will do,” I replied with a good-natured smirk.

 

As I turned to leave, Tom spoke up, “Hey, Oracle, I … uh, well, I need your opinion on something.”

 

“Sure, Tom, what is it?”

 

Tom scratched his head and looked around somewhat nervously before he asked, “Um, exactly how much information do you already know on synths? As in, people who are synths who may or may not know it.”

 

“I know of quite of few, was there one in particular you were thinking of?”

 

“One that’s maybe working with you guys in the Minutemen …” Tom replied, evading naming someone specifically, and I had to wonder why he didn’t just tell me.

 

“Sturges? He’s the only one that immediately comes to mind, though admittedly I don’t know if he’s a rescued synth or if he’s a plant that was abandoned by the Institute. There was very little information on him, only a synth component on his person. Why do you ask?”

 

He chuckled. “I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised with what you know. He wasn’t a plant, though, he was a rescued synth, one that went through us. One of the rare ones that went through HQ, in fact.”

 

“Really? Well, it isn’t often I find out something I didn’t know. Did you know him?”

 

“That’s kind of the problem, actually …” Tom nervously fidgeted from foot to foot, pausing to try to figure out how he wanted to say what he wanted to say. Sighing, he finally expounded on it. “I knew Sturges when he was freshly sprung from the Institute. Didn’t even have a real name or anything, still went by his designation, J3-09. He was really smart, though, caught on quick and was always looking to learn stuff while he was posted up in HQ … which, there wasn’t much aside from me and what I had laying around. We … we got close. I mean _really_ close. Like how you and Nick are.”

 

“Really? When you two meet at the safe house, though, he didn’t seem to recognize you.”

 

He shook his head, “Whatever happened to him in the Institute, it was bad. He had horrible flashbacks and nightmares, was really depressed, and so anxious no one could suggest even stepping outside HQ without him almost having a panic attack.” His jaw set, he looked away wistfully. “It was a long, hard decision to wipe his mind and implant new memories. But he didn’t seem to be getting much better and I just couldn’t watch him suffer like that.”

 

My heart felt like it dropped down into the pit of my stomach at hearing that. If anything happened to Nick and his mind, I … well, I wouldn’t quite know what to do with myself. To share in what we had only to be forced to let it go, to have to make such a hard decision for the other’s sake, it was incomprehensible to me. I reached out and settled a hand on Tom’s arm. “I’m so sorry, Tom. I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”

 

Tom cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah, it was … one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Our last night together was both the best and the worst night of my life. The next day, Carrington dosed him with some Med-X to calm him down and he was escorted to Dr. Amari and from there … well, I never knew. I thought of maybe trying to track him down, just check in on him and see how he was, but then the Switchboard thing happened and I figured I’d just never see him again.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “And then, lo and behold, he comes stomping down from Sanctuary one morning, introduces himself as Sturges, and asked if there was anything he could help with. I was so surprised to see him, for a second I had to wonder if I was dreaming …”

 

He had trailed off, and when he did I remembered that he had begun the conversation by asking for my help on something, so I gently reminded him. “What did you want to ask me about?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You said you wanted my opinion on something.”

 

“Oh! Right. Well, the thing is, working with him again … don’t get me wrong, it’s like a dream come true. But I’m torn on whether or not to … to tell him our history, together … or to just leave it alone.”

 

So I hadn’t been the only one contemplating what was best, then. “To tell the truth, I’d been wondering if I should tell him, but …” I sighed, shaking my head, “… I can’t tell if it would be beneficial for him to know or to just let him keep on living his life as he’s always known it. I’m afraid I haven’t really come up with a good answer yet.”

 

Glory snorted and pushed herself up off the wall. “You know my answer already.”

 

Tom rolled his eyes. “Glory …”

 

“C’mon, Tom, you’re fuckin miserable. And the mind wipe took away any lingering trauma.”

 

“But …”

 

“But what? What more is there to talk about? He deserves to know. And _you_ deserve some peace of mind. You haven’t been quite your usual self since he left.”

 

Tom threw his hands in the air. “And what am I supposed to say? How do you bring something up like this?”

 

Someone behind us cleared their throat before they interjected, “Ya know, you could just tell me …” I think we all somewhat blanched as we turned to see Sturges standing there, smirking and scratching the back of his neck. Holding up a small case, he said, “I realized I forgot some tools of mine earlier. Was just gonna grab em and leave, but I realized my ears were burnin.” He stepped forward, toward Tom, and Dez and Glory and Nick and I backed up a little. “You know, I was thinkin it was almost weird how well we clicked when we first met.” Chucking, he added, “I guess I know why now.”

 

“Are you … are you mad? That I didn’t tell you before?” Tom asked anxiously, his eyes darting around.

 

“Well, I kinda wished ya had. Glory’s right, I deserved to know. I’ve been … feelin things … things I wasn’t sure what to make of. Would’ve saved me a lottta hassle. But … nah. I ain’t mad.”

 

Hope seemed to glint in Tom’s eye as it seemed like his whole body sighed in relief. “I’m sorry. I should’ve, I guess, I just … I didn’t know how to tell you. And then I wasn’t sure if … if it would be like before or not.” Shifting on his feet, he halfway mumbled, “I guess I figured, as long as I knew you were okay, then I had to be happy with that and not screw it up.”

 

“Aw you ain’t screwed nothin’ up.” Stepping forward again and cocking a smile, he motioned with his head behind him. “Why don’t we have a talk, just the two of us? From the sound of things, it’s overdue.”

 

Sturges and Tom both exited, side by side, ascending the steps that would take them outside. Nick and I used the opposite entrance - the one that Sturges had initially used to enter, the one that would take us up into the Castle - and claimed a bed in the regular barracks. Most of the beds had already been claimed for the night, but Nick and I found one in the corner to curl up on. It was maybe the size of a double mattress from home, maybe a little smaller than that, so we ended up all in each other’s personal space. Not that we minded, of course. Being surrounded by people, and considering the cumulative effects of the past couple of days, I was exhausted and more than ready for sleep. Nick kissed me softly, gently, before pulling me close and murmuring, “Get some sleep, princess.” I wasn’t about to protest, and fell asleep almost immediately against his shoulder.

 

The next morning, I didn’t wake naturally so much as I was woken up by the hum of activity in the barracks. Even though no one intentionally went stomping through and making as much noise as possible, with enough people getting up and readying for the day, it was impossible for one room to stay quiet for long.

 

After refreshing myself in the latrine, I grabbed a quick breakfast and made my way to the courtyard. I had swung by the General’s quarters on my way to the kitchen and had found it empty, and I wanted to check in with the watch and make sure Nate hadn’t left me a message on the way out. “Nothing specific or important, ma’am,” the watchman replied. “Just that you’re in charge until he returns. He did say he was planning on returning tomorrow morning.”

 

“Good. Thank you …”

 

“Name’s Keats, ma’am.”

 

“Keats. Thank you, Keats, that was all I needed.”

 

As Nick and I retreated back into the Castle - toward the General’s quarters this time - I could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he said, “Well, well, well, looks like you’re the woman in charge now.”

 

“Yeah. Guess I gotta get used to this.”

 

“So what are the plans for today?”

 

“Well …” There wasn’t anything pressing, not for the Railroad or the Minutemen. For now, we were just playing a waiting game, waiting until Shaun passed and handed the reigns over to Nate so we could utilize the Institute. And I wanted to wait a little until I could get a better idea of how we could wield them so as to best convince the Brotherhood to either join us or leave us alone. I needed time and Nate for that, so nothing I could really get into now even if I wanted to. Of course, even once we took care of the Brotherhood, there was still a large threat we would have to face potentially coming out of Nuka World. Sighing as I sat in the chair, I started with, “Do you know anything about Nuka World, Nick?”

 

“The pre-war amusement park? Not that much. Why?”

 

“Because there are three raider gangs that either have or will take over there, enslave the settlers, and try to take over the park and maybe even parts of the Commonwealth.”

 

His non-existent eyebrows shot up. “Huh. Well that’s certainly something to worry about.”

 

“It shouldn’t happen for a while, I think. Normally … in game … the player character goes through this gauntlet and once they beat the Overboss then … well, then they become the Overboss of all three gangs. And at that point, they can decide to work with the gangs or exterminate them.”

 

“Doesn’t sound like anything Nate can’t take care of.”

 

“Yeah …”

 

“You sound a little reluctant to take out these raiders. You think he can’t handle it?”

 

“It’s not that, it’s just …” I sighed, rubbing my face. This was going to be one of the more difficult decisions I was going to have to make. Did I just leave Nuka World alone and hope that they never found an Overboss and thus never advanced further into the park or into the Commonwealth? Or did I have Nate exterminate people that I was fond of? It might seem weird to take pity on raiders, and maybe it was just the way I’d gotten to know them personally, but Gage in particular weighed heavy on me. He was a raider not because he was born into it but because he found out it was the best way for him to survive. If I could show him that there was a better way, a way he could live where he didn’t have to look over his shoulder or worry about gang violence, then maybe he could be saved. Another person I was particularly fond of, Mason … well, there probably wasn’t much hope for him, realistically. As much as I loved the dominating leader of the Pack, in real life, he was dangerous and deadly.

 

Lighting up a cigarette, Nick asked, “What makes you hesitate this time?”

 

“I don’t know, Nick. Maybe it’s because I _know_ a couple of the raiders, I just … I feel for them, in a way. Like, I understand. They aren’t just faceless threats, they’re real people with a real history who just want to survive.”

 

“Survive, I suspect, on the suffering of others. Is the good of the whole Commonwealth not more important than the lives of a few thugs?”

 

“I know, I know. I just wish there was a good outcome. One of them … he _may_ be redeemable. If we can offer him a better life with us than with the gangs, maybe he’ll come around. The other one I’m thinking of, unfortunately, is way too entrenched in his life.”

 

“Anyone I gotta worry about?” he asked teasingly, a smirk lifting the edge of his mouth.

 

I smiled warmly at him. “I promise, all I’ll ever want is my Grandpa Toaster.”

 

He leaned down to give my forehead a kiss. “C’mon, walk me through it. Let’s see what we’ll be up against.”

 

I spent the rest of the morning going through all of the intricate details of Nuka World, the raiders that inhabited it, the different areas of the park that would need to be cleared, and a few other random idiosyncrasies about the area. Out of the raider packs, the Disciples most needed to be wiped out. The Operators just wanted to make money, and I had to wonder if we changed their methods if they could be useful as traders once the economy of the Commonwealth stabilized. The Pack … they were tight-knit, like a close family. A family that enslaved people and forced animals to fight and killed just about anyone who wasn’t them, but a family nonetheless. They would be interesting to deal with, for sure. One of my biggest concerns, however, was getting to Safari Adventure, taking care of the Gatorclaws, and freeing Cito and his family.

 

We were about to break for lunch when someone knocked on the door, and once granted permission to enter, Keats poked his head in and said, “Hey, Major general? I have someone at the gate asking for you. Well, for our leader, anyway. A couple of big guys from the Brotherhood of Steel.”

 

_Fuck. Well, the peace was nice while it lasted._ I nodded. “Bring them back here, I’ll deal with them. Can you have someone send in some lunch for us?”

 

“Yes, ma’am, will do,” he said, ducking out of the door.

 

Turning to Nick, I instructed him quickly, in a whisper, “Get to the Railroad and tell them to lay low. I’m not sure what the Brotherhood want or how long they’ll be here but I’ll go down personally once they’re gone to let Dez know what’s going on. Just stay down there with them, I don’t want to risk any complications.”

 

“I think I’d rather be here with you, doll …”

 

Silencing him with a kiss, I told him, “I know you want to be here, but I need you to warn the Railroad for me, okay? Please, Nick. I’ll be fine. If the Brotherhood wanted to fight, they would have come in guns blazing.”

 

Reluctantly, Nick nodded. “As you wish, princess. Take care of yourself. If you need me, just send for me.”

 

“I will, I promise. Now go!” I saw Nick to the door and closed it tight behind him, taking a moment to breathe deeply and calm myself. I wasn’t a diplomat by any means, hell I was barely a leader here. But I was the one in charge at the moment so if the Brotherhood wanted to talk to the highest commanding officer of the Minutemen … I was it. Nate was gone on a mission for the Institute and Preston was all the way back in Sanctuary. And I wasn’t about to risk the Brotherhood discovering the safe house just to alleviate the pressure I was currently feeling. It still didn’t make me feel that much better, though. My hands trembled as I pressed them against the table, my eyes glazing over the paper reports from various Minutemen received from all over the Commonwealth. _C’mon, Lia, don’t freak out now. Just count. Count with me. One, two, three …_ I worked hard to slow down my breathing as I counted, and by the time I made it to twenty, I was almost back. Wiping away any hint of tears in my eyes, I straightened up and checked the 10mm in its holster. It was fully loaded and the safety was on, and I put it back, securing it in place. I splashed some water on my face and ran a quick brush through my hair, refusing to think about much more than simply preparing to face whatever I was about to face in just a few minutes. Looking at my reflection in the small mirror Nate had set up by his bedside, I steeled myself to whatever was coming. Walking back over to the table, I quickly organized the reports on it so it would look somewhat presentable. We were still rebuilding after all, but any little thing I could do to impress the Brotherhood I would do. When the knock finally came at the door, my voice was surprisingly calm as I answered with, “Come in.”

 

The person who entered, however, was not quite who I was expecting.


	13. Dancing with the Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm getting this out a lot later than I'd initially planned. I got sick and was just so blah I couldn't concentrate on anything, and then we had a stressful situation happen with our car's brakes completely going out and ... yeah. But I'm getting back into the groove and I'd already written about half of this before I got sick, so here ya go. :)

_ Don't you dare look at him in the eye, _

_ As we dance with the devil tonight ... _

 

_ ~~ "Dance with the Devil", Breaking Benjamin _

 

_ \----------- _

 

I felt wholly inadequate as I stood there, but I smiled nonetheless and said, “Welcome to the Castle, gentlemen. I’m Major general Lia Bauer of the Commonwealth’s Minutemen.”

 

The first to step forward I was actually somewhat excited to meet, though his face bore the same steeled expression as it always seemed to. “A pleasure, Major general. My name is Paladin Danse of the Brotherhood of Steel. This is my commanding officer, Elder Arthur Maxson.”

 

The last Maxson was certainly nothing to sneeze at. His height easily reached over six feet and he was about as broad. The battlecoat that I commonly thirsted after in the game draped his frame and somehow made him even more intimidating in real life than I had been expecting. His gaze was sharp, and his face unreadable, but I refused to back down and look away, instead standing as tall as I could as I met his eyes. When he spoke, though his voice was deep and gruff, it was polite as well, a hallmark of his extensive training at the Citadel, no doubt. “Well met, Major general. I have to admit, however, I was expecting the General himself.”

 

“I apologize, Elder Maxson, he is currently indisposed on a personal mission. As Major general, I will do my best to help you in whatever way we can. First, however, I’d ask if you would like to have lunch with me? Anything you feel the need to discuss can be done just as well over a plate of food.” In a feat of magnificent timing, there was a knock on the door and the food was delivered, some mutfruit and cheese and bread along with a warm, hearty stew. Enough to stick to our bones in the cooler weather and fill us, but not overly so, considering it was only around noon.

 

Arthur looked a bit surprised, but recovered graciously. “Very well, Major general. We appreciate your courtesy.”

 

As we began to eat, some of us more awkwardly than others, Danse inquired, “You don’t seem surprised to see us. Did your General tell you of our encounter?”

 

I smiled, almost chuckling at the barely restrained schoolboy energy he had about him. It was one of the few things that didn’t really come across in the game but in person it conveyed well. He was like a puppy. A well-trained puppy loyal to the Brotherhood, but a puppy nonetheless. “He told me that he assisted you in retrieving a long range transmitter and that you had mentioned joining the Brotherhood. Other than that, no.”

 

“And yet you receive us as if you were expecting us,” Arthur interjected, his eyebrow twitching ever so slightly. It wasn’t annoyance, more in amusement. I suppose he hadn’t been expecting something as civilized as _manners_ in the wasteland. The part of me that regarded him as an asshole figured that he probably thought manners and civility didn’t exist outside of the Brotherhood. If that was true or not, perhaps I’d never know. And whether he would prove himself to be a hardass dickhole or something more was yet to be seen. I would reserve judgement until he showed his true colours, but until then I was still going to be reserved in how I treated him. It just wouldn’t do to get friendly with a man who in all likelihood would want my boyfriend dead. Something in me just didn’t want to immediately give up, though, and that small part was the part that remembered the 10 year old in the Citadel, writing stories and daydreaming before the reality of being the last Maxson took over his life.

 

“Is that not what a good host does?” I chuckled. “Had you come only a couple of weeks prior, the reception would not be as warm. Not for lack of courtesy, more for lack of resources. Before we took it back it was home to a nesting of Mirelurks, including a Queen.”

 

“A _Queen_ Mirelurk?” Arthur repeated incredulously, one eyebrow cocked in surprise. “You and your men took on a Queen with no vertibird or minigun?”

 

I nodded, taking a bite of stew as if it was a normal, everyday thing. “The Queen was actually the easiest part. I laid some mines down where we knew the Queen was lurking, and once she made her appearance, Nate shot a couple of missiles at her. That plus the mines did her in. He only ended up using two.”

 

Arthur chuckled. “Impressive. General Howard is quite the novel thinker.”

 

I decided to stop with the hemming and hawing and start taking credit for my ideas. After all, I had been the one to come up with them and execute them over and over in game before getting a chance to play it out for real. Might as well accept the responsibility for it. “Actually, it was my idea,” I commented with a smirk, slipping a piece of bread in my mouth.

 

“Really?” The corner of his mouth lifted in an amused grin, which I wasn’t quite sure if that was a good thing or not, but what was done was done. He definitely seemed intrigued now, if not by me than by our operation as a whole. “I commend you, then. And General Howard as well, for finding such a brilliant tactician.”

 

I chuckled. “Oh come now, Elder Maxson, surely the Citadel has more experienced minds to glean from.”

 

“And what would you know about the Citadel?”

 

_Hmm, maybe not a good idea to mention everything so casually. He might start getting suspicious about how much we know. Just play it off, Lia, and be careful._ “Just that it’s the base of operations for the Brotherhood of Steel in the East Coast. You guys don’t exactly keep that a secret.”

 

He nodded, still a little caught off guard from my knowledge. “Just wouldn’t have expected to hear that from a Vault dweller. Or, former, I assume.”

 

I couldn’t exactly fault his logic, as I was still wearing my Vaultsuit, and I decided it was as good a cover story as any to explain any weird eccentricities. “You assume correctly, Elder. And as far as what I know, I make it my business to know things, if only for the sake of survival out here.”

 

He smiled, the corner of his lip twitching upward like it was something he didn’t do very often. It was strange to see on his face, considering in game one never saw him smile at all, but as a real person in real life he was a little more expressive than his video game counterpart. “It’s good to see the General surrounds himself with smart people. Perhaps the Paladin’s suggestion of an alliance was not one made in vain.”

 

_Because of course. Damnit, Danse._ “Well that kind of thing, of course, I’m unable to discuss without him present. I’m sure you understand.”

 

“Of course,” Arthur replied, finishing off his stew. “You said he was on a mission, correct? What kind of mission?”

 

_Needling me already, huh?_ “I can’t discuss the details with non-Minutemen personnel. I’m sure you understand. As commanding officer you wouldn’t want a Paladin or Knight blabbing about confidential missions to just anyone.”

 

He seemed to accept the explanation that played to his military-esque background as he tilted his head toward me. “Apologies, Major general.” He chuckled as he added, “Despite the lack of information, I respect your position and your decorum. You said he would be back tomorrow?”

 

I nodded. “That’s what he relayed when he left, however I’m unsure as to his game plan upon his return. If you’d like to discuss something like an alliance with him, perhaps it would be better for him to go to you?” We all rose as we had finished our meal, and I smiled graciously. “I’m sure your time is valuable, Elder, and I wouldn’t want you to waste another trip out here.”

 

“Very well,” he replied, clasping his hands behind him in a well-known gesture as I escorted them through the courtyard. “I will notify the Knights on guard duty to keep an eye out for a Vault dweller or two.” He subtly winked at me and I wasn’t sure whether I should feel nervous or flattered or some combination of both. At any rate, I felt a bit uneasy now that I was officially on Arthur Maxson’s radar. That was not exactly where I wanted to be, and he would apparently expect me now. And I wasn’t sure if I should disappoint him or not. I felt a bit overwhelmed at the prospect, but I did my best to not let it show as I escorted the Elder and Paladin to the vertibird that was sitting just outside the Castle.

 

I stayed until the vertibird rose into the air and angled for the airport before turning back toward the Castle. My heart was pounding, and I was amazed at myself for how calm I was outwardly. All I really wanted at the moment was a certain metal detective, and I knew exactly where I would find him. Once I made it back into the halls, I immediately made for the lower levels, descending the steps and hustling through the door, looking for where he had stashed himself. I should have figured he didn’t stray far from Dez and the Railroad crew, and they all seemed like they were on edge, anxiously waiting for news of any kind. I couldn’t really fault them, and shit I wished I could have joined them. But certain things had to be taken care of personally, and as the highest ranking Minuteman it fell to me.

 

Dez looked up as I entered, her face steeled into a serious expression as she asked, “Well? What did they want?”

 

I sighed as I stepped to Nick’s side, and I immediately felt comforted as I felt his hand on my back. “Seems the Brotherhood is looking for an alliance with the Minutemen.”

 

Dez frowned, obviously displeased at the news. “And what are the Minutemen going to do, then?”

 

“Well, this isn’t _wholly_ unexpected, I just didn’t think it would come up this quickly. I guess Nate left more of an impression on Paladin Danse than he thought.” I folded my arms across my chest and drummed my fingers against my side. “I at least got them to leave, and I told them Nate would go to them. Before he goes I’ll brief him and we’ll figure out how best to stall them. I already had a few ideas tucked away just in case, it’s just …”

 

“Just what?” she asked, still apprehensive.

 

“I may have to go with Nate to the Prydwyn.”

 

“What?” Nick exclaimed, my exact reaction when I was told Nate wanted to take him to the Glowing Sea. “Absolutely not. Why would you need to go?”

 

“Because Elder Maxson may be expecting me.”

 

“And why would he? Doesn’t he want to meet the General?”

 

“Of course, but I guess he wants to meet with us both. He hinted as much, and I’m not sure if he would take a spurned invitation too lightly.” I looked Nick directly in the eyes as I assured, “I don’t really _want_ to go, but in the name of diplomacy, unless there’s some pressing issue I have to attend to, I may have to.”

 

“I don’t like this, doll.”

 

“I don’t really, either, but we’ll worry about it when Nate gets back, okay? And hey, if I do have to go, at least it won’t be as dangerous as the Glowing Sea, eh?”

 

He knew I had him there as he sighed. “Very well.”

 

Dez was still tightly wound as she finished a cigarette and immediately lit another. “Do you really think you can stall the Brotherhood?”

 

“I’m damn sure gonna try. And, even if we develop a loose alliance, I’m thinking we could direct them in a way to distract them from Railroad missions. Use it to our advantage, you know?”

 

She flicked her ash away and took a long drag, blowing it all out before she chuckled and commented, “Well, if anyone can make that work, I’m convinced it’s you. After all, the Railroad weren’t really the alliance type before you came along.”

 

The vote of confidence was reassuring, at least, and after Desdemona’s fears were sufficiently allayed, Nick and I made our way back up to the Castle proper, our fingers intertwined. It had been a stressful-ass day already and it was only just barely halfway over. And once Nick returned the next day, I knew the clock would be ticking, as I was sure Arthur would be looking for us to appear relatively soon. As much as I wanted to just put him off, it would be seen as rude and I didn’t want any member of the Brotherhood in a shitty, put-out mood before we even stepped foot on the Prydwyn. Just the stress of the impending planning session was making me want to go ahead and turn in and just sleep the rest of the day away, if only to escape. Nick seemed to pick up on it as we retreated into the General’s quarters, closing the door as he remarked, “You look tired, doll. That meeting really wear you out?”

 

I sighed as I sat at the desk, rubbing my temples. “Just throws a lot on my plate I wasn’t really expecting yet.”

 

He moved behind me and gently rubbed the back of my neck. “Anything we can do right now?”

 

“Not really. Not much we can do until Nate gets back and we can assess where the Institute stands with him and what they need. That will determine how and when we deal with the Brotherhood.”

 

His gentle touch whispered over my skin as his voice dropped a couple of octaves. “I think there’s one thing we can do now, and that’s take care of that tension you’re carrying.”

 

“Nick,” I began, turning my head, but he silenced me with a kiss.

 

“Shh, doll, you’ve been taking on a lot lately. You gotta let loose sometime. And now’s as good a time as any.” I couldn’t really argue with that logic, and the way he tilted my head back and practically consumed me in a passionate kiss, melting me from head to toe, all hesitation fled from me. He pulled me up to standing and slowly started tugging on the zipper of my Vaultsuit, his lips crawling down my neck, little fingers of pleasure licking through my body. My fingers fumbled as they worked on his belt, not willing to let him go unassisted in this endeavour. I soon had his pants open and found exactly what I was after, giving him a few strokes that had him growling against my neck. “Frisky kitten, are we?”

 

“Maybe,” I replied softly. “It’s been a while since we had some alone time …”

 

“A little too long if you ask me.” He pulled my Vaultsuit down over my shoulders and shucked it down to my waist, reaching up for just a moment to flick open my bra and let it fall to the floor. I wiggled out of my boots with a small amount of difficulty, leaving Nick to pull down my suit the rest of the way, along with my underwear. With me unclothed, he picked me up and pulled my legs around his waist, walking me over to the stone wall and pressing me against it as he nibbled on my ear. “Ready, princess?”

 

“Yes,” I gasped. “Please.” I swore I was dripping, my body thrumming on a high it hadn’t had for a while, more than ready for him. Even though we didn’t quite have the privacy of my home in Sanctuary or even a locked hotel room in the Rexford, that didn’t mean we weren’t about to take advantage of this opportunity. If only I hadn’t been sick when he’d returned from the Glowing Sea, I’d have jumped him that very night. I was feeling a lot more up to it at the moment, though, and he obviously was, too, as I felt him start to press himself into me.

 

I bit back a moan as my head thumped against the stone and I felt him chuckle as he murmured, “Might want to keep quiet this time, princess, unless you want the whole Castle to hear you.” He covered my mouth with his as he jerked his hips, burying himself to the hilt. I held on to him tightly as my whole body shuddered as he started thrusting, slow but hard. I imagined that it wasn’t exactly easy to hold another person up as you fucked them, but Nick seemed up to the task as I didn’t once feel like he might drop me. Instead he simply kept up his slow but brutal pace, his vibration increasing in slight increments with each thrust. I was sweating just with the effort of keeping quiet, a few drops coursing down my face as Nick expertly wound me up like a favourite toy. There were footsteps coming and going outside the door, but no one knocked or entered, and Nick never slowed his pace once. After the third or fourth time someone passed by the General’s quarters, I smirked and whispered to Nick, “The thought of getting caught doesn’t scare you, Mr. Valentine?”

 

He chuckled again. “You think I’d stop if anyone came in here?” His teeth grazed my earlobe as he added, his voice lower, “If they’d really want to stay and watch, I’d make sure to give ‘em a show. Lay you out on the table and really go at ya ’til you’re squirming and can’t take anymore. Then and only then would I kick ‘em out and let you fall to pieces. That sight is for me and only me, that moment when you let go and just fall apart as you clench around me. Fuck, doll, if only you knew what that does to me.”

 

As he said that, he pulled me off the wall and spun around, gently laying me on the desk. It was a good thing I had straightened up earlier, or else reports and other papers would have gone flying. As it was, it was a clean landing, and he loomed over me, his hips circling and thrusting as his hands roamed my body. His metal hand dipped lower to lazily circle my clit as his regular hand reached up around my neck, positioning it carefully before he started to squeeze. It wasn’t hard, not enough to choke me out, just enough to cut down my oxygen to make the high of sex even higher. I settled one hand on his wrist as the other grasped for purchase, grabbing the edge of the desk just above me as my toes curled. “Nick,” I gasped softly, so close, my hips gyrating against his as I searched for my own release.

 

“That’s it, princess, you’re right there. Now come for me, come for Daddy.”

 

I clenched my teeth as my inner muscles clenched against Nick, my release sweeping over me and leaving me trembling in its wake. I could feel Nick’s hips stutter against me as he moaned softly, his own end nearing as he ground into me a few more times. He released his grip on my neck as he stood there, both of us panting with exertion. I wasn’t sure about him, but I needed a few minutes to gather myself before I could even make a move to get up. In the meantime, Nick tucked himself back into his pants and scooped me up, nuzzling my hair as he sat down on the bed. I was about as limp as a noodle and I just snuggled into his arms, feeling safe and warm and sated and _holy fuck did I ever need that_.

 

After I got my senses about me, Nick kissed my forehead and asked, “Bath?”

 

I chuckled. “That sounds divine.” All of my worries regarding the Brotherhood and Nuka World could be dealt with later. For now, I just wanted to be a normal human being hanging out with their significant other. So, after I had a bath and we made some rounds, we’d have a nice private dinner and just enjoy each other’s company. Considering the circumstances, it was about as perfect as it could get.


	14. Thunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'd been planning on getting this out earlier, but shit kept coming up and then Arthur wasn't cooperating and ... yeah. But, it's extra long, so that's something, right?

_Sound of the drums_

_Beating in my heart,_

_The thunder of guns_

_tore me apart ..._

 

_~~ "Thunderstruck", AC/DC_

 

 

\-----------

 

The rest of the evening went by just as easily as I’d hoped. After I nipped down to the communal bathrooms and availed myself of a tub, I redressed and joined Nick for a nice round of walks around the perimeter of the Castle. I was able to check in with the other Minutemen, verify that nothing shifty had been going on, and also confirm there was no indication of Brotherhood presence nearby. It seemed they were indeed going to leave us alone for the time being. How long likely depended on how quickly Nate responded to the summons. But for now all was quiet, and quiet was good.

 

The night passed just as peacefully and when morning dawned, I began to wonder when Nate would return. It shouldn’t take him too long to take care of those raiders - especially with a courser tagging along - the biggest part would be hanging out at the Institute afterward and ingratiating himself with them. He should be given his own room there soon, and after that, well … who knew how often I might see him. It was slowly dawning on me that, outside of Preston, he was counting on me to help _run_ the damn Minutemen. Because once he started getting in good with the Institute, unless there was some mission he needed to take care of for them or something he knew he had to handle on the outside, he would likely spend his time there. And I had no way to contact him, no way to send word if I needed him, I just had to do this on my own and trust that if I _really_ needed him then he would hopefully appear sooner or later. I wondered how much time Shaun had left, how munch longer until he would discontinue his ineffective treatments and just let the cancer run its course. It would be hard on Nate, I knew, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to happen quickly or not. Quickly because perhaps it would hurt less and it would also give us a little more breathing room here in the Commonwealth. Slower because I wanted Nate to be able to spend as much time as he wanted with Shaun and properly integrate himself to the Institute. Having patience was not exactly easy, but it was all we really had to work with at the moment.

 

Nick and I had just finished up a morning patrol and had retreated to the General’s quarters to wait when Nate finally made his appearance. Instead of flashing into the courtyard, he went the more discreet route of his own room, and I was thankful because the less chance to have the Brotherhood’s eye on us, the better. After the initial shock of his sudden appearance, he smiled warmly and we shared a hug in greeting. “So? How did it go?” I asked as we parted.

 

“Textbook, as usual. Not a scratch on me.”

 

“I should think not, between the information I gave you and X6-88 backing you up.”

 

“Yeah, he was nice to have around. Too bad I can’t have him around more often. Having a bodyguard is something I could get used to, but … you know … can’t risk compromising our mission here.”

 

“Well, if it’s a traveling companion you want, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, but we’ll have to address that a little later because there’s some more pressing issues to discuss.”

 

“Issues? Something happen while I was gone?”

 

“Yeah. The Brotherhood paid us a visit.”

 

“Paid us a visit?”

 

I nodded. “Paladin Danse brought Elder Maxson to the Castle. Seems they were actually meaning to meet with you, but of course you weren’t here, so I met with them instead.”

 

“And what did they want?”

 

“Elder Maxson wants an alliance between the Minutemen and the Brotherhood.”

 

Nate sighed, rubbing his forehead. “That’s what I was afraid of with how Danse was talking before we split. You think we can stall them?”

 

“Not for too long without annoying them. I at least got them to go back to the airport with the promise that _you_ would go to _them_ , but I don’t know how long they’ll just sit around and wait. I don’t exactly want to test a Maxson’s patience.”

 

Dropping into a chair, Nate leaned against the table. “Any ideas?”

 

I joined him at the table, sitting across from him. “I do, actually. I think a loose alliance could actually be beneficial in a way, because we could steer the Brotherhood’s focus away from any Railroad dealings. When we meet with them, though, we’ll just have to make it clear that we have our own priorities to handle.”

 

“Wait, _we_? Are you coming with me?”

 

“Well, I guess so. I’m pretty much expected. After our meeting Elder Maxson said that he would alert his Knights to look for one _or two_ Vault dwellers approaching, and he made the point of winking when he said that.”

 

“Oh he did, did he?” Nick murmured, lighting up a cigarette.

 

I winced as I realized I’d forgotten to mention that part to him. I knew he hadn’t been sold on me going, and now that little bit of information didn’t help. “Sorry, Nick. But if I’m expected, I don’t think it’s a great idea to not show.”

 

“I’d like to have to you with me, anyway, you know a whole lot more about the situation as a whole.”

 

Nick sighed irritably as I glanced at him and he waved his hand as he said, “I get it, I get it. You’re a grown woman, you do what you need to. Just don’t expect me to like it.”

 

“I think we should have a third person with us,” Nate suggested. “Maybe someone from the Railroad, disguised as a Minuteman. I don’t want Desdemona to get the wrong idea about us meeting with the Brotherhood.”

 

“Hmm, I wonder if Deacon’s available,” I mused. “I’ll go check. When are you wanting to go meet?”

 

“Well, if we can get someone from the Railroad on such short notice and have a preliminary meeting between us, we can set out today.”

 

“Alright, let me go check with Dez and see if Deacon or someone else is available.” With that, I jumped up and headed out the door, marching down the hall and to the flight of stairs that would take me to the lower levels where they were all tucked away. The buzz of activity was minimal at the time, but that was because almost all agents were gone, including Glory. I saw Deacon, though, and crossed my fingers that he didn’t have any plans as I approached Desdemona.

 

She smirked at my arrival, flicking away the ash from her cigarette as she greeted me. “Oracle. Didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”

 

“Well, didn’t expect to be back down here so soon, but Nate’s returned and is wanting to go ahead and get that Brotherhood meeting out of the way.”

 

She nodded, taking a drag before asking, “He need anything? I assume that’s why you’re here.”

 

“Yes, he actually would like someone from the Railroad to come with us, someone who can disguise themselves easily as a Minuteman. He wants to make sure that, even though you won’t be officially represented, that you’ll have someone present, someone that isn’t just us, even though we’re Railroad agents ourselves. For our comfort and for your peace of mind.”

 

She chuckled. “Sounds like you need Deacon, then,” she said as she nodded toward him. “He doesn’t have anything else lined up right now, if you’re intent on doing this today, he’s all yours.”

 

Hearing his name tossed around, he sidled up to us and asked, “Hey, am I needed for anything?”

 

“Oracle and Bullseye need you to go with them to a meeting with the Brotherhood today. They want you to be disguised as a Minuteman.”

 

“Minuteman? No problem. I got some gear that’ll work perfectly. Let me grab it and I’ll meet you in the General’s quarter’s in ten minutes.”

 

“Great, awesome, Deacon. Thank you so much for coming with us, and thanks Dez for sparing him.”

 

She waved her cigarette holding hand at me. “Nothing doing, just bring him back in one piece.”

 

I chuckled. “I think we can handle that.” I climbed the stairs back up to the Castle proper two at a time, making it back to the General’s quarters in pretty decent time. As I walked in, I immediately announced, “Great news, Deacon’s available to come with us, he’ll be up here in about ten minutes ready to go.” I paused just then as I realized it looked like Nick and Nate were deep in some discussion. “Um, sorry, am I interrupting?”

 

Nick shook his head, tossing me a small smile. “You’re fine, doll, Nate and I were just making sure we’re on the same page.

 

Maybe it was just me, but it seemed like a little more was going on than just a casual discussion. But I didn’t push it as I slung an arm around Nick’s waist, wanting to stay as close as I could to my Grandpa Toaster while I had the time. He certainly didn’t protest as he wrapped an arm around me, his thumb caressing my shoulder through my Vaultsuit. It wasn’t but a few minutes after my return that Deacon waltzed in wearing some road leathers and a standard Minuteman hat over a light brown, shaggy wig, complete with a light beard and a laser musket in tow. I would have barely recognized him had he not been wearing his typical sunglasses. He held out his arms and asked with a slightly exaggerated twangy accent, “Whadya think? Minuteman-y enough?”

 

I chuckled. “Looks great, Deacon.”

 

“No, no, no, it’s Scott Ross.”

 

“Scott Ross?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at the seemingly random name.

 

“Yeah. I mean, who’s gonna suspect a guy named Scott Ross of doing something shady? No one, that’s who!”

 

“Well it looks like you’ve got your cover pretty much figured out,” Nate said, biting his cheek with amusement.

 

“Hey, I’m a professional. Expect no less.”

 

We all sat down to hash out the upcoming meeting, brainstorming what we might expect and how we would set up and enforce our boundaries with Arthur. We wanted to be friendly, but aloof, like we weren’t going to hinder them or oppose them in any way but that their goals simply didn’t match ours and we weren’t going to fight their battles for them. When we all seemed to be in agreement, we loaded up for the trip - each of us equipping our weapons and making sure we had any supplies we might need on the way - and I kissed Nick goodbye before we made to leave. As I followed Nate out the door, I heard Deacon behind me slap Nick on the back in a good natured way before he assured him, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep a close eye on Oracle.”

 

“See that you do,” Nick replied before Deacon followed me out the door, and I cast one last glance behind at Nick, smiling in reassurance before we headed out of the Castle.

 

From the Castle to the airport, it was relatively a straight shot, but there were a few lurking dangers we had to be careful to avoid. Fortunately, Deacon knew the Commonwealth like the back of his hand, and we only had one close call as we strayed a little too near to a brand new nesting of super mutants for our comfort. We were fortunately able to recognize the signs before we outright stumbled onto them and were able to backtrack and go around, giving them a wide berth. My heart was pounding in my throat until we had put a good distance between us and them, and I was twitchy and on edge for the rest of the trip, feeling vulnerable in the wastes of the Commonwealth. How the hell Nate dealt with this all the time while he was on missions was beyond me.

 

As we approached the entrance to the airport, we finally encountered where the Brotherhood had drawn their line of defences, a combination of hastily erected barriers and patrolling Knights in power armour. We could hear the sound of the clunking hydraulics of the armour before we even set eyes on them, and when we finally did I felt a little nervous. There was something to be said about the might of the Brotherhood of Steel and seeing people just walking around casually in power armour and carrying high quality laser weapons definitely upped the intimidation factor. There was just an air about them that screamed _trained soldier_ , like they weren’t the type to mess with. And we were aiming to, at some point down the line.

 

When we approached the entrance itself, a Brotherhood soldier had us halt and asked us to identify ourselves. I supposed that Arthur had simply told them to not shoot us on sight, so I should probably be grateful that they didn’t. Nate stepped up for our group as he introduced us. “I’m General Nate Howard, Commonwealth Minutemen. This is my Major general, Lia Bauer, and our guide and fellow Minuteman, Scott Ross.”

 

The Knight simply said, “I was only informed there would be two, not three. Hold position while I contact the Prydwyn.” He stepped away to a bank of equipment that appeared to house some sort of communication device and he hailed the airship above to ask if he should let all three of us in or just two. I began to sweat a little, hoping that Deacon would be allowed to accompany us. I didn’t want there to be any question in the Railroad’s mind of our allegiance to them, and he had been my ticket to maintaining that strong relationship. I didn’t really want to go through with the meeting if he couldn’t be with us, but I was afraid of calling it off on such a seemingly small technicality. We couldn’t afford outright hostility between us and the Brotherhood just yet but I also didn’t want to potentially erode what we had built up between us and the Railroad. I felt like we were on the very edge of the path that we walked, and leaning too far in either direction could spell disaster for the whole operation. We all tried to belay our apprehension as we stood there casually, but I knew I was not the only person nervous and on edge because of this development.

 

We couldn’t hear the discussion from where we were standing, but it didn’t seem to take too long as he left the console and walked back over to us. We straightened up as he approached us, and I held my breath as we awaited the verdict. “Per Elder Maxson’s orders, all three of you can go up. Follow me to the vertibird, please.”

 

I felt like I was floating with relief as all three of us let us lead him to where a vertibird was parked. That relief was pretty short lived, however, as I realized that I was actually going to be riding that vertibird up to the Prydwyn and then my palms started to sweat. I was not that great with heights, and how this had not really factored into anything I’d been thinking about in preparation for this, I didn’t know. I supposed that, in the grand scheme of things, it was such a small concern that it hadn’t really crossed my mind. All my worries had been focused on the meeting itself it seemed like I hadn’t had the room to even give a thought to any other facet. But now I was going to have to face this fear and just deal with the queasiness that was starting to well up in my stomach. _Fuck, Lia, just calm the fuck down and do this. It’s a short ride and it shouldn’t take too long, right? So just suck it up. This is for the good of the whole Commonwealth. That’s worth a little discomfort, right?_ That’s what I told myself as we boarded, but I wasn’t sure how well it was going to stick. I positioned myself in the back of the vertibird, between Nate and Deacon, the furtherest from the open sides.

 

“All in?” the pilot asked, flipping a few switches. “Prepare for takeoff.”

 

_Fuck, this is really happening then,_ was my only thought as my stomach lurched when the vertibird lifted off of the ground. There was an odd feeling of weightlessness for a second as the vehicle ascended, making rounds as it neared the airship above us. My ears started popping and I just looked ahead, not focusing on anything in particular as I tried to keep my breathing deep and even. I was actually not doing too badly, in my mind, when suddenly a thunderous explosion rang out and startled me out of my concentration.

 

I didn’t even have to ask as Nate immediately did so. “What was that?”

 

The pilot seemed unruffled as she replied, “Some of our men are attacking a super mutant stronghold at Fort Strong just across the way. They’re far enough away it shouldn’t interfere with us.”

 

_Right, the behemoth. Shit, I’m glad we aren’t facing down that dude. The Queen Mirelurk was scary enough._ It was pretty easy to visualize the giant super mutant wielding a fire hydrant like a club and it was definitely a sight I had no wish to see up close. My heart pounded even harder as the sound of missiles going off echoed across the surrounding area, the booms sounding louder and closer than they really were, like claps of thunder without a storm in sight.

 

We finally drew near to the Prydwyn herself, and the pilot docked smoothly against the ship. There was still a disconcerting bump that made my insides feel like they all jumped in unison as the vertibird settled into place, but overall not quite as bad as it could have been. Any landing you can walk away from, right? The worst part of the whole ordeal was actually just around the corner, as we had to disembark onto a tiny platform and follow it up into the main airship. it was railed, yes, but that was little comfort as the air whipped around in strong currents, feeling like it could just blast me off the side with one good gust. Despite being in the middle, I was the last off the vertibird, eternally grateful for Deacon helping me off the vehicle and onto the platform and standing near me to offer some reassurance that no, I was not about to get blown off the damn thing. Both he and Nate seemed completely unaffected by the whole ordeal, the bastards, while I was just hoping that my stomach would settle down before the slight swaying of the Prydwyn sent me running for a garbage bin to hurl into. It wasn’t bad, really, but after that ride in the vertibird my nerves and my gut felt sensitive and on edge, like just one small thing could make me sick. I swallowed hard as I followed Nate up the little walkway and up to the main path that lead to the bowels of the airship, stopping only briefly to be greeted by Paladin Danse. He was actually decked out in power armour this time, unlike when he and Arthur had visited the Castle, and it was almost amusing to see him in such familiar surroundings.

 

As we approached, the Paladin addressed us just as stoically as he probably did everything else. “Welcome aboard the Prydwyn. I’m glad to see you’ve all come and that you’ve given importance to this to come right away. If you’ll follow me, I’ll lead you to Elder Maxson. He’ll be waiting for you in the conference room in the upper levels, just this way.” And without further ado, he turned heel and started off down the wider middle path that lead into the airship itself, not even looking back once to make sure we were following. I made a point to walk in the exact middle, too afraid of accidentally looking over the sides to even grip the railing. The sounds of exploding missiles were becoming less frequent, but still rang over everything in juxtaposition to the previous silence. Only when we finally entered the Prydwyn did the noise become muffled so much as to barely register. If one hadn’t known what was going on, they probably would have easily mistaken the sounds for that of rolling thunder, thunder from a storm that was slowly moving away as they became less frequent. It would have made for a good soundtrack for napping, to those to ascribed to the thunderstorm aesthetic.

 

I normally did not spend much time on the Brotherhood’s airship in game, mainly because I only ever sided with them once in a blue moon when I just wanted to change things up. But I was pretty sure that even in game, it may not show all the available areas to explore on the Prydwyn, that or I just completely blanked on the meeting room that we were ushered to. Before we entered, however, Danse asked of us, “For security’s sake, I will need you to hand over your weapons. They will be returned when you leave, until then they will be kept safe.” Not like I had actually expected us to be able to carry guns into the meeting, we relinquished what we had on us and Danse took them graciously, promising that no harm would come to our belongings. Once he had secured what we had on us, he knocked on the door, allowing us to enter as he announced, “Sir, the General and Major general and their companion is here for you. Permission to return to duty, Elder.”

 

I took a chance to glance around the room and I found it looked very similar to the room that one went to when first boarding the Prydwyn and met Elder Maxson when he was giving his little speech, what with the floor to ceiling windows filling one whole side and about half of two other sides. The biggest difference was that it was closed off as an actual room and it also had a long table and chairs in it, along with a terminal and other equipment likely used for planning. Those were all turned off for now, though, and the only other occupant in the room was Arthur himself.

 

Turning around from where he’d been facing the window, he replied, “Granted. I can handle things from here, Paladin.” He offered a genteel enough smile to our small group as he approached us, not friendly exactly, but cordial. Formal. First eyeing Nate, he simply said as he held out his hand for a shake, “General, I’ve been eager to meet you ever since Paladin Danse gave his report regarding the retrieval of the deep-range transmitter.” Nate shook his hand firmly, as only a former service member can do, and Arthur’s gaze then wandered to me. “Major general, a pleasure to see you again,” he said as he offered his hand to me, same as Nate, and I made a point of maintaining a tight grip as I shook his hand firmly. His gaze then fell to Deacon and he cocked his head ever so slightly as he said, “And I’m sorry, but I don’t remember seeing you before.”

 

“Scott. Scott Ross,” Deacon replied, shaking Arthur’s hand in return.

 

“Ah. And what position do you hold in the Minutemen?”

 

“Oh, I’m just a grunt, sir, nothin’ special.”

 

“Interesting. You must be curiously lucky to warrant entrance to a private meeting with top-tier members of your organization.”

 

Nate spoke up, smoothing things over with, “He may just be a grunt in position, but he’s an excellent guide to the Commonwealth and he has helped us avoid problematic areas when we travel and operate. Were anything to come up in this meeting regarding specifics of the region, he is the best resource to have on hand.”

 

“Point taken, General,” Arthur replied. Gesturing his hand, he bid us, “Please, sit. I have some food coming so we don’t have to talk on an empty stomach. I trust there were no issues getting here?”

 

“Not really,” Nate replied. “Almost stumbled into a fresh pack of super mutants but we caught ourselves early enough we could backtrack out of there without engaging.”

 

Arthur cocked an eyebrow. “Really? I’m surprised that someone who faced down a Queen Mirelurk along with a nesting of her young avoided a simple pack of mutants.”

 

Nate chuckled. “Well for one, we had a lot more backup than just three of us. And for two, we had a solid plan going in. Without knowing about how many to expect and what kind, I’m not about to dive into a shootout, especially if it can be avoided and the ammo saved.”

 

Arthur simply nodded, sitting in the chair at the head of the table like this was something he did every day. I off-handedly wondered what a Maxson daily routine looked like, but I had a feeling it involved waking up at the ass crack of dawn and pushups before breakfast. He didn’t seem to be the type of person to face the light of day before breaking a sweat. In other words, despite his rugged and traditionally good looks, he was definitely not my type. Unless there was something big and important to tend to, I liked to lie in with my significant other and snuggle close to them, greet the day only when I was good and ready.

 

We weren’t waiting but maybe ten minutes at most, making a little bit of smalltalk involving the Commonwealth before the food arrived. It looked like some fried cram and instamash, but it seemed filling enough, and there was plenty of purified water to go around. “So, General,” Arthur started after taking a sip, “I have to admit, I’m curious … are you and the Major general from the same Vault?”

 

“Yes sir, same Vault. 111.”

 

“Hmm. I have not heard of this 111 before. I’d heard rumours of one working Vault in the Commonwealth, but that was 81, if I recall correctly.”

 

“Well, it’s technically not in working order right now. We were frozen in cryo the day the bombs dropped and the Vault was later abandoned.” I hadn’t realized that Nate was just going to incorporate me into his narrative like that, and while we hadn’t discussed it before, I supposed I was glad it was happening with both of us present, so we would have our stories straight.

 

That information gave Arthur pause, quite literally as he stopped his fork halfway to his mouth. “You’re both _pre-war_?” Nate nodded, as if this was just an ordinary, every day thing. I could only imagine what was going through Arthur Maxson’s head at this reveal, but to his credit, that one stumble with the fork was the only outward sign of shock or surprise. He continued to eat as he asked, “How long have you been out?”

 

“A little over a month, give or take.”

 

“And in that time you’ve managed to reorganize the Minutemen and retake the old fort?”

 

“I hadhelp,” Nate replied with a smirk, shooting a look at me.

 

“Ah. Are you two …” The way he motioned between us with his fork left no question as to what he was meaning.

 

I blushed furiously at the implication. “No,” I replied simply. “We’re cousins. Our mothers were sisters.” I figured it was the easiest explanation as to why we had such a great rapport with each other. Nate and I had admittedly hit it off pretty well, even better than I’d hoped.

 

Nate seemed to approve of the explanation as he concurred. “Yeah, we ended up living not far from each other and practically grew up together. Ended up living in the same sub-division in 2077. Then, well … you know.”

 

Conversation for the duration of the meal after that reveal was interesting, to say the least. Arthur seemed very curious about pre-war life and how the world was before it all went to shit. He was even more interested when Nate revealed he’d been in the Army and for the rest of the meal it seemed like Deacon and I were forgotten as the two men got into a discussion of policies and stratagems. I was more than happy to be left out of the conversation, sneaking grins and eye rolls to Deacon as we finished our meal. If anything, I supposed it was a good thing to be on good terms with the Brotherhood, most especially Elder Maxson, for at least the time being. Perhaps later, it would be easier to convince Arthur to leave quietly, if not even join us, but I wasn’t going to get my hopes up prematurely. A deep-seated bigotry that made him make a 180 on an officer he’d previously been extremely proud of and trusted and declare that he had to be destroyed was a hell of a motherfucker to overcome. But I’d give him a chance. Once the ball was in his court, then it would be up to him.

 

After we wrapped up the meal, then it was down to business. From the standpoint that Arthur was at, it seemed like he ultimately wanted to absorb the Minutemen and have both factions operate as one. Nate listened politely to Arthur’s proposal, nodding at key points, but I could tell from his body language that it was a big fat no. I couldn’t say for sure, but I would have liked to think that even without my involvement, Nate would have said no to the Brotherhood having troops permanently stationed at the Castle - under the guise of extra protection, of course - and having all of the Minutemen become Brotherhood over time. It was a bit insulting, but from Arthur’s perspective it was probably extremely beneficial. Get all the protection and muscle of the Brotherhood of Steel and the only price is to become a part of it … which, who wouldn’t want to be a part of the Brotherhood, in his eyes? It ran in his veins so deep it was a part of him, someone outright rejecting an offer to join was likely an insult in his eyes. Nate was going to have to play this carefully.

 

When Arthur wrapped up his presentation, Nate sat there in silence for a moment, stroking the few days old whiskers on his face as he digested it all. It was likely hard for anyone who didn’t know him to get a read on him, but I knew his mind was racing and coming up with all the ways he could politely say _no_ and not have the Brotherhood become our enemies. After a few minutes, he implored, “Tell me, Elder, what is the mission of the Brotherhood of Steel? What is its goal?”

 

Arthur rattled off the answer like he could say it in his sleep. “Our primary directive is to recover and preserve advanced technology.”

 

Ah ha, and that was how Nate got him. With a small smile, Nate replied, “In that case, I don’t think an alliance like you’re suggesting between us would work out very well.”

 

Maxson seemed surprised, but the momentary eyebrow twitch was all that gave it away. “And what makes you say that?”

 

“Two organizations merging as one, they need to have at least similar goals in order to be successful in working as one. And as far as the Minutemen goes, we work for the people of the Commonwealth. We’ve been spending the past month or so working with settlers, taking care of their problems, facilitating supply lines, building up defences for their security. Making better lives for them in the long run. We’ve come a long way after Quincy, but there’s still a long ways to go yet in terms of stabilizing the Commonwealth, and quite frankly I don’t think we can afford to worry about or work towards anything else at this point in time.”

 

“I see,” Arthur replied. He looked a little put off, but not outright insulted. Like he understood what Nate was telling him. Likely, their lunchtime talk helped, as he saw Nate not just as a wastelander or former Vault dweller or even the General of the Minutemen. He was a soldier, an older one at that, and I think that little bit of respect for him and his opinion helped soothe over any potential bristling at Nate’s refusal to incorporate the Minutemen into the Brotherhood. “If I may ask - and this is purely for my own curiousity - what happened in Quincy?”

 

Nate flicked his eyes over at me, signalling for help. I suppose the whole incident had kind of been glossed over and not really discussed in depth with him, but I knew a good deal about it, and Nate knew it. So, it was my turn to take the stage. “After the death of General Becker, there was a lot of internal strife, infighting over who would lead the Minutemen next. During this time, there was a threat of attack on the town of Quincy by the Gunners and a request was sent for reinforcements, which arrived under Colonel Hollis. They were able to drive them away, and set up defences for the short term, but out of concern for the long term, Colonel Hollis requested some more reinforcements. Because of the infighting, nobody answered the summons. The only Minuteman to approach Quincy after that was a Minuteman who had defected to the Gunners. When Colonel Hollis and the mayor refused to hand over Quincy, the Gunners attacked from the overhanging highway that night, massacring the town. Only twenty managed to escape, the only Minuteman of the group our now Lieutenant general Preston Garvey. After that, the rest of the Minutemen disbanded. Everyone was too distrusting of each other to function as a group anymore. That was in the weeks just leading up to when Nate and I left the Vault. When we emerged, we found Preston and what was left of those settlers pinned down by raiders in the Museum of Freedom. We helped them out, Nate and I joined them, and the rest is history, as they say.”

 

Arthur had intently listened to me talk, his eyes never breaking their gaze from me. I felt a little uncomfortable under such scrutiny, but I refused to let it show, sitting straight in my chair and meeting his gaze with every word I said. When I finished the very edge of his lip twitched, almost like a smile, and he commented, “It seems to acquaint yourself with information very well, Major general.”

 

I smiled back, cooly. “It’s my job to know things.”

 

“Never let it be said then that Major general Bauer was ever lazy or inattentive in her duties.” Turning his gaze toward Nate, then, he continued, “I think I understand a little bit more what you’re up against, General. Rebuilding is never easy, as I am well acquainted with. It’s almost unfortunate that we should meet so soon in your rebuilding efforts, then. Perhaps in the future, we can revisit this proposal.”

 

“Of course,” Nate replied. “Once the Commonwealth is more stabilized then we can see if the Minutemen’s goals shift and change with that to be something that could work better with the Brotherhood.”

 

“Until that day, perhaps …” Arthur began, pausing only for a moment to stroke his beard in thought before he continued, “… instead of an alliance along the lines of what I offered, perhaps an exchange? The Brotherhood has had a couple of excursions into the Commonwealth, but only one successful, and that was only because of your intervention. As a result, our information on the region is sorely lacking, and we could use someone with some experience to hell fill in the considerable gaps.”

 

Nate nodded. “That sounds doable, but you mentioned an exchange?”

 

“Yes. The Brotherhood makes sure to pay their debts, and in a show of friendship and future cooperation, we can help supply the Minutemen. We don’t have power armour to spare, but we have weapons and ammo, and I’m sure for a faction that is in the midst of reorganizing that could be just as valuable to you as intel is for us. What do you say, General?” Arthur extended his hand across the table as he said this, anticipating Nate’s response.

 

In agreement, Nate shook his hand. “You have yourself a deal, Elder.”

 

After the deal was struck, Deacon was taken to Proctor Quinlan to help fill in whatever gaps the Brotherhood had in their knowledge of the Commonwealth. Of course, he was smart enough to leave out certain information that they didn’t need to know. You didn’t get very far in the spy game by not being able to think on your feet, after all. As he was escorted to Quinlan, Nate was directed to Proctor Teagan along with a signed document from Arthur specifying what the Minutemen were to receive so that it could be packaged up and put on a vertibird. I was the odd man out, and I suddenly felt awkward, not really knowing what to do with myself. Clearing my throat, I said, “I’ll take my leave, then, and return to the vertibird to wait.”

 

“Please,” Arthur started, stopping me in my tracks, “it may take some time for Ross and Quinlan to compare notes and for the Proctor to make the necessary annotations he will need to. Let me show you a little bit of the Prydwyn.”

 

Well, it certainly beat just standing around out on that damn windy platform, so I accepted his offer. He didn’t show me every nook and cranny of the place, which I expected, but he showed me around some of the general areas, around the barracks and the cargo area to the hallways where I knew the gas valves were located where, if we absolutely had to, we would plant explosive charges in order to blow up the Prydwyn. It was odd, in a way, seeing an enemy so up close and personal. But I didn’t fool myself. If given the change, they’d have no problem taking out certain people that were very near and dear to my heart. Nick, Sturges, Hancock, Wiseman, Deegan, the Vault-tec rep, Daisy … hell, even X6-88. If allowed, they’d raze everything I loved to the ground. Nothing was worth that.

 

As the tour wound down, Arthur eventually escorted me out of the Prydwyn, but instead of leading me to the vertibird, he took me to the other end of the walkway, where there was a solid railing covering the platform. He stood at the very edge, but I hung back some, not really keen on heights, but he looked behind him and held out his hand. “Come, this is a sight I think you need to see.”

 

“Thanks, but I’m not that great with heights.”

 

He chuckled. “I won’t let you fall, I promise. If you can take on a Queen Mirelurk and win, you’ll be just fine.”

 

Gulping, I somewhat reluctantly took his hand and stepped to the very edge of the railing, closing my eyes for a moment before I opened them once more. When I did, despite the height making me tremble just a little, Arthur was right. It was a magnificent sight that definitely had to be seen. The Commonwealth laid before us, its ruined bones left exposed in the wake of the the atomic blast. It was terrifying to see how much damage could be done. But at the same time, it gave me and immense feeling of hope. This little corner of the wasteland, it was mine, and I was going to help shape it and mold it into something even better than its inhabitants could even dream of. This … this was my _home_. Sure, I hadn’t been born here, either before or after the war. Had never physically set foot here until I woke up in the Red Rocket. Yet I felt inexplicably tied here. Like my whole life before now was just a pale imitation of what it could have been, of what it was now. However I happened to get here, I prayed that it would never take me back. That heartache would be a heavy burden to carry, indeed.

 

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Arthur asked. “The power and destruction that men can wreak on each other. I’m sure it looks much different than when you lived here before.”

 

“Physically, yes. But underneath the rubble lies the same beating heart. No matter what it’s gone through, it will rise again. Better. Stronger. And I’ll be goddamned if I don’t see to it.”

 

“Your passion is admirable. I hope you get the chance.”

 

“Oh I will. I’ve never given up before, I’m not about to now.”

 

He chuckled. “And what of the future? Once you have stabilized the Commonwealth, what then? Have you … given any thought to that?”

 

The way he worded it, I had a feeling what he was really hinting at. “If you’re asking if I’m with anyone, the answer is yes.”

 

“Ah.” Considering the tone of his response, I must have hit the nail on the head. He paused a moment before he commented, “You’ll make a wonderful mother.”

 

I had to laugh. “I’m not going to be a mother.”

 

When I looked up at Arthur, he seemed genuinely puzzled. “Why not?”

 

“I don’t want kids. Never have. And even if I wanted them, I’m pretty sure my partner wouldn’t be able to oblige anyway. So, it’s a non-issue for me.”

 

Arthur chuckled. “Just when I think I have the measure of you, you surprise me yet again.” Stepping away from the ledge, he said, “Come, I hear your new equipment being loaded. If Ross is finished conferring with Quinlan, then you can get back to your Castle.”

 

Nate was already waiting at the vertibird, but Deacon was nowhere to be seen. We weren’t waiting long, though, because by the time Arthur and I made it to where the vertibird was docked, the Prydwyn door opened and Deacon came strolling out like he was just taking a walk out in the wasteland and not on a narrow walkway however high _above_ said wasteland. I was _somehow_ started to become a little used to it, but not enough, and I certainly did not want the opportunities to get more acquainted with it. Arthur bid us all goodbye and we piled into the vertibird. Because of the cargo, it was a little cramped, but I actually felt more secure this way, pressed between Deacon and Nate. I had to wonder, however, how the hell we were going to get all of this equipment from the airport to the Castle.

 

I shouldn’t have worried about it, because after we took off, instead of circling and descending to land at the airport, the pilot spun around and headed in the direction of the Castle. A personal ride on a vertibird was something I couldn’t quite appreciate, considering how I hated heights, but it was definitely better than lugging boxes the whole distance. Plus, I would get to see Nick sooner, and I would never say no to that.

 

Sure enough, as soon as the vertibird landed, Nick was strolling out of the Castle. I didn’t waste any time, jumping out and running up to meet him, throwing myself into his arms and pulling him down for a kiss. Chuckling as he pulled away, he asked, “Miss me, doll?”

 

“Of course I did,” I replied, grinning from ear to ear. Yeah, fuck Arthur Maxson and his technological excellence. He could shove the Prydwyn up his ass for all I cared, I wasn’t about to let go of what was most important for me. He had two options: stay out of the way, or go up in flames. That was a goddamn guarantee.


	15. Big damn heroes, ain't we just

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Managed to not only ride out Florence but also finished up the next chapter! Yay! Also, props to those who get the title reference ;)

_Everyday people do_

_Everyday things but I_

_Can't be one of them ..._

 

_We could be heroes,_

_Me and you ..._

 

_~~ "Heroes", Alesso_

 

 

_\-----------_

 

Getting the donated equipment unloaded was quick and easy, as Keats and a couple other Minutemen volunteered for the task. They took the supplies to the West Bastion and left them there so we could share with the Railroad if they needed anything. It filled me with an almost indescribable glee to know that Brotherhood equipment was going to be potentially used by one of their enemies. I could picture Arthur in a foaming rage just at the thought and that left me giddy. I personally couldn’t wait to unseat him and wipe that smug look off his face. 

 

After the unloading was done, Deacon descended into the Railroad HQ so he could dump his disguise and Nate and Nick and I retired to the General’s quarters for the time being. He wasn’t going to have a whole lot of time to spend on the outside, so we had to make the most of it while we could. So, as soon as the door closed, Nate sat at the table and asked, “Alright, what comes next?”

 

I chuckled at his attention to preparation. Sitting across from him, I answered, “When you go back to the Institute, they’ll want you to accompany them on a mission to Bunker Hill. They’ve gotten some intel about freed synths being run through there.”

 

“Shit. What am I supposed to do? Dez isn’t going to like losing synths.”

 

“And she won’t. The first time I was in Railroad HQ, when Dez and I were discussing everything she needed to know, I already brought it up. As a result, agents have been working round the clock to clear all the synths and Railroad personnel out of Bunker Hill. It delayed them moving their HQ, but I think it was worth it in the end.”

 

“Ah. Nice. Okay. So, there’ll be nothing there, then?”

 

“Not quite. If it plays out like it does in game, then the Brotherhood will show up and there will be a firefight between them.”

 

“Fantastic. What am I supposed to do, then? We _just_ brokered that agreement with the Brotherhood, I’m pretty sure I’ll be recognized.”

 

“Yeah. We’re gonna have to get a little creative. Do you have anything to wear in place of your Vaultsuit? Anything that would cover your face?”

 

Sighing, Nate replied, “Let’s consult the bag.”

 

The bag, as he referred to it, was just a large sack that he more or less threw random things into while he was out and about on missions. Weapons and ammo he would slide into his own pack, but armour or other equipment or even just random junk would find its way into the bag. It hadn’t been fully emptied for a little while, but now was as good a time as any as he poured its contents onto the floor. There seemed to be a little bit of everything in there, from straight up junk to be salvaged, to armour pieces, to even a few articles of clothes. We focused on the latter, building up something for him to wear that would conceal his identity from the potential Brotherhood soldiers he could encounter. We struck gold as far as his clothes went, because he’d stripped the coat from the courser he killed at Greentech. Chuckling, he commented, “I’m not sure why exactly I took this, but I’m glad I did.” Indeed, not only was it regalia not related to the Minutemen or the Railroad, it was specific to the Institute itself, so some of the smarter Brotherhood members wouldn’t question why a random wastelander was helping the Institute. The only thing we had to worry about, then, was his face and how to conceal it.

 

After everything was spread out on the floor and semi-organized, we realized the pickings were a little slim. There were some solid raider pieces, some metal armour, but as far as helmets there was only one with a closed face, and that was a synth helmet he’d pulled from Fort Hagen. But it was bright white and it would stand out against the black courser jacket, potentially making him a bigger target overall. Wearing a courser jacket was going to make him enough of a target for the Brotherhood.

 

“Hmm,” Nate hummed, fingering an umpire mask. “You think I could affix something to this to make the front part opaque?”

 

“Not without making it look extremely jury rigged and therefore even weirder,” I replied. “Why don’t we just paint the damn synth helmet black?”

 

“You have black paint?”

 

“I have a Deacon, if he doesn’t have black paint, then nobody does.”

 

Sure enough, my assumption was correct, and with his blessing I took some and was covering the helmet in minutes. There were a lot of crevices I had to make sure to cover, but the painting itself was easy and when I was done I set it on the table to dry. The paint was thick enough that it looked like one coat would be enough to cover it sufficiently, and Deacon had assured me he only used paint that dried quickly, so the helmet would be good to go by the next morning, which was when he was supposed to return to the Institute.

 

Sitting back with a quick dinner of a sandwich with some kind of meat, we all ate in silence, the sum total of the events of the day catching up with us. It was weird to think that just this morning we’d been prepping for that meeting with Arthur, and that this afternoon had been spent at the Prydwyn, brokering an agreement with the Brotherhood. It was one of those days that felt like a whole week, even though it was the same, standard 24 hours as every other day. I swore I felt about dead on my feet by the time Nick and I finally took our leave of Nate and wandered back to the barracks. Nate was fine with us staying in his quarters, but at the moment I favoured comfort over more privacy, and that meant a bed in the barracks rather than a sleep pack on the floor.

 

The next morning, Nate and his new helmet were gone bright and early, and once again I was the commanding officer at the Castle. While this was becoming routine, it was still odd to me to take charge. I kept feeling like I needed to report to someone, to look to someone to tell me what to do, but there was no such person here, not now. That person was me, and I had to act like a leader. Patrolling around the Castle, I checked in with Ronnie and Keats and confirmed that all was quiet as far as the Minutemen were concerned. After I made a few rounds I then descended to the Railroad HQ. Not for any particular reason, but I did want to check in with Dez and make sure all was good with her. This alliance was one of the most important ones and I needed it to go well, even in Nate’s absence. Especially in Nate’s absence. He had a helluva lot to worry about as it was, I needed to make sure that he didn’t have any additional worries when he left the Institute.

 

At the other end of the large room that the Railroad had claimed as their main base of operations, I saw Drummer Boy and Jenny the synth, standing close and having some whispered conversation. As we walked in, Jenny leaned in and pulled Drummer Boy into a kiss, and I raised my eyebrows in surprise and shot a smile to Nick. I was happier than ever before that Nate had been able to convince Jenny to accompany him and Deacon to Railroad HQ. Who would have known that those two would find something in each other? It was something I had never anticipated before, and it was nice to see others find happiness. And from the smile on Drummer Boy’s face when they parted and the way his ears turned red, it seemed that Jenny’s love was definitely not unrequited. Seeing some sort of normality in the chaotic aftermath of the war stoked the fires of hope within me, that the Commonwealth could reach some sort of normalcy after all, if only we were allowed the opportunity to push it there.

 

Dez was smirking as we approached her, and she me a wink as she said, “Seems you’re inadvertently playing matchmaker in the Commonwealth. Maybe you should have chosen that as your code name instead of Oracle.”

 

Laughing, I conceded, “Maybe I should have.” After a moment’s laughter, I asked, “How are things down here, Dez? Did Deacon tell you how everything went down?”

 

“He did, and I’m quite pleased. Those supplies will come in most handy for our Agents and your Minutemen. A delicious bit of irony I hope you’re savouring as much as I am.”

 

“Oh trust me, I am. I just wanted to check in and make sure that no stray synths were sent to Bunker Hill.”

 

Dez shook her head. “That was cleared out weeks ago. Only Railroad affiliate there is Old Man Stockton, but he actually runs a legitimate business, so we decided it was too risky and noticeable to pull him.”

 

“Well, the Institute is more than likely going to pull of a raid there soon. Will he be prepared for something like that?”

 

“We warned him to expect violence. He can take care of himself. This _is_ the Commonwealth, after all. If anything, the citizens of Bunker Hill will be lucky to have him there to help herd them to safety. Oh, and while you’re here, I thought I would ask … I’d gotten word from Stockton about his daughter, Amelia, going missing. He’s contracted a caravaner we know to look for her but also notified us to be on the lookout. I don’t suppose you know anything about this?”

 

Sighing, I nodded. “I do, indeed.” I remembered well the convoluted and weird little quest associated with the even weirder settlement of Covenant. Just the saccharine smiles and almost robotic talking patterns of the people there made my skin crawl. “She’s been taken by a group of people in Covenant. They’re trying to determine a sure-fire way to distinguish between gen 3 synths and humans. There’s a compound to the west of Covenant where they’re keeping her, it can be entered via an outflow pipe on the far side of the lake there.”

 

Chucking, she shook her head. “I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore by how much you know. Listen, I don’t really have anyone to spare for this since I had to send Deacon out to check on the new safe house and Glory is out on an extraction. Would you be able to meet up with the caravaner and help him? I don’t know that there’s much in it for you, but I know Stockton would really appreciate it.”

 

The idea of infiltrating Covenant’s compound made me nervous, but I couldn’t leave poor Amelia to their devices. Nodding, I confirmed, “I’ll do it.”

 

“ _We_ will do it,” Nick added. “I ain’t gonna let ya go out there alone, doll.”

 

Smirking at Nick’s determination to stay by my side, Dez added, “I’m sure you know where to find this caravaner.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Then you know what to do.”

 

And I did. As I ascended the stairs, I made a beeline for the one person who I fully trusted to keep the Castle running in my absence. I didn’t really like the idea of just leaving without Nate or Preston here, but compromises had to be made sometimes, and in this case a compromise was required. I wasn’t about to leave the poor girl to torment and death.

 

Ronnie Shaw was up on the wall, near the official entrance to the Castle, keeping watch. She saluted as I approached, addressing me by title. “Major general, something I can help with? Nothing’s changed since you checked in earlier.”

 

“One small thing, Ronnie. An urgent matter has just come up that I need to attend to. I don’t think it will take much more than a day, but I can’t just leave the Castle with no one officially in charge. So, by my authority, I’d like to name you Brigadier general and leave the Castle in your hands in my absence.”

 

The older Minuteman raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Are … are you sure, Major general?”

 

I nodded. “I can’t think of anyone else I trust more, and plus you have the most experience out of anyone here. You deserve it.”

 

Standing straighter, Ronnie replied, “Thank you, Major general. You won’t have to worry about a thing, I promise.”

 

With the Castle overseer issue settled, I descended the stairs and headed back to the General’s quarters, where my pack was at, so I could check on my supplies before I took it with me. I made a stop by the armoury to pick up some extra ammo and a few grenades, just in case, along with some ammo for the laser rifle that I knew Honest Dan would be packing, just in case. Not that I thought he would head out there without being amply supplied, himself, but I couldn’t be sure what he had run into during his investigation, and it was always better to have too much ammo than too little.

 

After some consulting with Nick as to how exactly we were going to get to Covenant, we set off. We had to be careful to avoid the area around Bunker Hill, which was practically on the way to Covenant, as we weren’t sure when exactly the raid was going to take place. It would add some time to our travel, but not getting caught up in the fray was more than worth the hassle. And, we were setting out early enough, that we were thinking to arrive at Covenant in the evening, before dark if we weren’t waylaid or had to take too many detours.

 

We ended up having to take a bit of a wider path than we initially planned for to go around Bunker Hill, judging from the sound of gunfire and small explosions that were coming from that direction, but we still made it to the outskirts of Covenant right as the sun was dipping below the horizon. I was initially a little concerned, wondering how I was going to find Honest Dan, not really looking forward to trying to pass the little test to get into Covenant. Not that I didn’t remember the best answers to go with the questions I would be asked, but I wasn’t particularly excited about entering the creepy Stepford settlement. I shouldn’t have worried too much, however, because as we approached the walled settlement from the road, the gates opened and Honest Dan came strolling out, his eyebrows knit in frustration and a scowl on his face. Undoubtedly he’d been trying to needle information out of the settlers with no luck, and this was our chance now to catch up with him and help. Nick and I hung back a little until Dan was well out of Covenant’s bounds, and we hurried to approach him. He spun around warily and placed his hand on the gun at his side, but we slowed down and put our hands up to he would know we were friendly. “Are you Honest Dan?” I asked, just to verify.

 

“Yeah. What of it?”

 

“I’ve been sent to help you find Amelia Stockton. I have information for you on where she is.”

 

“Sent? By who?”

 

“Some mutual friends of ours.”

 

His eyes narrowed in the twilight and he paused before he asked, “Do you have a geiger counter?”

 

Smirking, I gave the countersign. “Mine is in the shop.”

 

Dan dropped his hand from his gun and sighed with relief. “Thank you for coming. I’ve been tracking down leads for two days now. I managed to follow the trail to this settlement but the residents are tight-lipped like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

 

“Yeah, I know. It’s fuckin _creepy_ if you ask me, but I have all the information we’ll need.”

 

“Oh? How?”

 

I chuckled. “Our friends don’t call me Oracle for no reason.” I explained about the Compound nearby, where it was, how to enter it, and what to expect once inside. Dan seemed surprise at the extensiveness of my knowledge, but I suppose he ultimately chalked it up to whatever connections I had with the Railroad. Some of the agents did seem to be downright magical when it came to obtaining all kinds of detailed information discreetly, so it didn’t necessarily seem out of character or weird. The hardest part, of course, was yet to come.

 

The entrance to the Compound was easy enough to find when one knew where to look, but the guards inside were not going to be easy to convince to let us through. Especially since I hadn’t even poked my head into Covenant itself. No matter. I had advised both Nick and Dan of how many to expect and where they would be positioned, and one of the first guard postings we would run into was just inside the entrance and down the tunnel. Thankfully, because we weren’t limited by game mechanics, Nick was able to shoot out the spotlight, not only startling the guards but also giving us an edge as we slipped up the ramp, shooting as we went. Nick lead us, but only just slightly as I was right behind him, guiding him. Dan brought up the rear and fired off shots, giving us cover as I acquainted myself with the area in real life. It was startlingly accurate to the Compound in game, but it was still a little disconcerting and almost disorienting to see it rendered in real life like this. Ultimately, though, with my guidance it was easy enough to fight through the Compound and get to where Dr. Chambers was keeping Amelia.

 

As in the game, if one didn’t pass the extremely hard speech checks with the guards, the vile doctor was none to happy to be disturbed. She was gonna hafta get the fuck over it, her days of torturing people were over, synth or otherwise. Despite being on the obviously losing side, she stared us all down with a glare, her voice sharp as she spat, “I hope you’re happy. My life’s work is on the verge of ruin all because of this man’s efforts to find Stockton’s _supposed_ daughter. You do know she’s most likely a synth, yes? If you lot are a little more than just hired guns, then perhaps you’ll listen to me as we can stop this before it’s too late.”

 

I pointed my 10mm right at her face - Nick and Dan aiming at her alongside me - as I replied, “What could you possibly say that would justify the torture and death of all of the people you’ve captured here?”

 

“Just picture it,” she implored, “your whole family destroyed by a synth, and you as a child are unable to do anything. What would you do? Would you just roll over and accept it as the new status quo? Or would you do something about it?”

 

“I would do the same thing if a _human_ killed my family … blame the individual. _Humans_ caused the war, _humans_ dropped nuclear bombs and destroyed this world, _humans_ like _you_ capture and torture others in some misguided sense of vengeance. Seems to me there’s not much difference between yourself and what you claim to hate. Now, there is only _one_ way this will go. Give us Amelia.”

 

Scowling, the doctor hastily reached into her lab coat and pulled out a pipe pistol, but in the time it took her to grab it and aim it toward me, Nick had already let off a shot, the bullet tearing through the side of her neck. Her eyes widened as she began hemorrhaging out of control, dropping the gun as she feebly attempted to control the bleeding, to no avail. She dropped to the dirt-covered floor and expired there, her last breath rattling and echoing in the space. Stepping around her body, I was able to access Dr. Chambers’ terminal and unlock the cell that Amelia was being kept in. The poor girl, dirty and too thin from her isolation, ran and embraced Dan, the one familiar face she’d been granted since her capture. In game, Dan was just hired muscle from her father, but it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t just a random caravaner that had a loose association with the Railroad. It was interesting getting to see these relationships more fleshed out, and I looped my arm around Nick’s waist, content at our work.

 

After Dan comforted Amelia, he turned to us and said, “Thank you for helping me find her. Without your assistance, I’d have no hope of doing it on my own. I’m just glad you two were on my side. Here,” he stepped forward, a small bag in his hand, “I’ll get my other half from Stockton. I think you more than deserve this half of the reward.”

 

I wasn’t even expecting Dan to give me the 300 caps, especially because we’d never talked about it and he’d not mentioned it once, but this windfall might just help set future things in motion. “Thanks, Dan. You take care. Stay safe.”

 

“Same to you.”

 

As we exited the tunnels and breathed in the night air by the lake, I smiled, proud that we were able to accomplish this seemingly small task. I didn’t always feel like it, but at the moment I felt on top of the world, ready to kick ass and take names and be the fearless leader that I needed to be. My shooting may not have been the best, but I had good companions to make up for it and I was smart enough to utilize them, so that had to count for something, right?

 

Standing there, in the crisp night air, Nick asked, “So, got a reward for our trouble. I’m assuming you have some plans for that?”

 

My mind wandering to a certain former mayor, I threw a smirk over my shoulder at him and replied, “Let’s make a quick visit to Goodneighbor, shall we?”


	16. Only Human

_Some people got the real problems,_

_Some people out of luck,_

_Some people think I can solve them ..._

 

_~~ "Human", Rag'n'Bone Man_

 

\-----------

 

With Nick’s shortcuts, we glided through the gate to Goodneighbor in no time, and with his arm draped around my shoulder, anyone thinking of trying to accost me thought twice about it. Nick was well-known in Goodneighbor, on good terms with its mayor, and no one wanted to get on Hancock’s bad side by hassling one of his friends or someone that was obviously _with_ one of his friends. Clair wasn’t at the desk for Hotel Rexford, considering the late hour, but a young man by the name of Barry was sitting out there to help those wayward souls who didn’t wander into the Rexford until some ungodly hour. We were given a room on the third floor, and once we made it up there, I shucked off my Vaultsuit and collapsed on the bed, exhausted. While the sum total events of the day had been very rewarding, it left me feeling wrung dry of any energy. The travel alone from the Castle to outside Covenant, not even counting the stress of preparing and going through the Compound _myself_. Coaching someone of a location and the dangers and how to navigate them was one thing, but actually doing it myself was something else. _How the fuck does Nate do this all the time?_

 

Chuckling as he slid into the bed behind me, Nate commented, “Tired out, doll?”

 

I hummed in delight to feel his arms around me as I murmured, “I’m only human, after all.”

 

The familiar slight vibration of his internal processes was comforting as he pulled his body flush to mine, planting a kiss just behind my ear as he whispered into it, “Sleep, princess.”

 

He didn’t need to convince me any further as I fell off into the safe oblivion of sleep.

 

Between the events of the day and the synth detective spooning me, I slept deep, if not long. Since arriving in the Commonwealth, I’d gotten used to sleeping short spurts at a time, and so the longest I could possibly average at a time was seven, and that was pushing it. When allowed to just sleep I usually went about six hours before I would wake up. Any longer and it just felt, I don’t know … _wrong_ to sleep in. I had too much going on, too many things to juggle, to do something so frivolous as sleeping in. This morning, however, it wasn’t so much some _thing_ I needed to do, but some _one_. And I recognized it as I slowly woke up, feeling something hard resting against my hip. Nick wasn’t moving, so I wasn’t sure if he had come out of his rest cycle yet or not, so I decided to test the waters and pressed back against him. He responded in kind, returning the gesture before his lips latched on to the side of my neck. My mouth dropped open as I moaned and I felt the vibration of Nick’s guttural growl through his chest. “Feeling a little frisky this morning?”

 

Chuckling, I replied, “I could say the same about you.”

 

Rolling over, I locked lips with him, savouring the feel of his synthetic skin against mine. It didn’t feel quite like human skin, more like some silicone equivalent. But it was Nick, and it was uniquely him, and it was all I ever wanted. The passion I felt behind the faux skin was as real and as human as anything. The emotions I could practically feel emanating from him … if it wasn’t real, then I didn’t know what was. Fuck the Brotherhood and their sanctimonious horseshit. I knew what I felt was, at its very core, _human_ and real and so very, very right.

 

As we parted, Nick smirked, his dominant side giving a slight edge to his voice as he asked, “Can I do something, princess?”

 

Grinning back, I replied playfully, “What is it, _daddy_?”

 

Loosening his tie, he pulled it from around his neck. “Have you ever been blindfolded before?” I shook my head and he asked, “Can I do this?”

 

“Yes,” I replied, almost automatically. I hadn’t really thought about wearing a blindfold during sex before, but just the thought of doing it with Nick, of leaving myself that vulnerable with him and trusting myself to him … it sent a shiver down my spine as my underwear grew damp in anticipation.

 

“What’s the safe word if you get uncomfortable?”

 

“Red.”

 

“Good girl,” he purred, leaning in to press a searing kiss to my lips before he pulled away and looped his long tie around my eyes. It wasn’t thick enough to take away all light, particularly the bright sunlight that was shining through the window, but I was left unable to see anything. He tied it securely on the side of my side, near my ear, before he murmured, “Grab the headboard and wait.”

 

Lying flat on my back, I reached up and felt the metal bars that comprised the headboard of the standard beds at the Rexford. Nothing fancy, but sturdy. All function and no flash. But hey, Goodneighbor wasn’t exactly known for being a classy place. Not that I minded, since here at least we could have some semblance of privacy in this hotel room, compared to the General’s quarters in the Castle where Minutemen or Railroad associates could and did walk in at any time. But here, here we could take our time and be as loud as we wanted to be, because nobody gave a shit. I made myself take slow, even breaths as I listened intently for any sound from Nick. He’d gotten up after he’d finished putting the blindfold in place, but so far he hadn’t made a move since. Was he just watching me? Looking at me with those yellow glowing eyes as I resisted the urge to squirm … fuck, the anticipation was starting to get to me as I wondered just what was going through the synth detective’s mind.

 

Finally I heard him move, heard the floorboards creak ever so slightly as his weight shifted across it, the flat click of his shoes against them as he walked off to the left. Wasn’t there a dresser there? I was pretty sure that was where it was, but I had been pretty tired the previous night when I pulled my Vaultsuit off and shoved it in one of the drawers for safekeeping. The rustle of fabric was unmistakeable, but what was he doing? He never undressed fully, always at the very least keeping on his shirt and pants. Perhaps he was just taking off anything extraneous, like his coat and shoes. I couldn’t quite decipher everything that he was doing, as my hearing wasn’t magically heightened once my sense of sight was taken away. Somewhat, yes, but not to a mystical level where just by hearing something I could know instantly what was going on. I bit my lip as I laid there, waiting for Nick to do _something_ , when finally I heard his footsteps trace back over to the bed. My breath quickened slightly as my body practically shook, aching for his touch. But still he didn’t do anything but stand there, right at the edge of the bed. I gripped the bars harder, my fingernails digging into my flesh, seeking some sort of relief, anything I could find.

 

I had gotten so worked up by this point that when the bed dipped as Nick knelt on it beside me, I had to bite back a moan. It wasn’t relief yet, but it was close, so damn close. Finally, _finally_ , I felt his metal hand gently stroke my thigh. I jumped ever so slightly at the touch before melting into it, hoping that I wouldn’t be waiting long for more of it. His fingertips grazed lightly over my skin, skirting up my ribs until he slipped it under my back and swiftly unhooked my bra. “Release your hands for me, so I can take this off,” he murmured, his voice low and thick. I followed his instructions to the letter, taking my hands off of the bars just long enough for him to slip the piece of underwear off and I immediately replaced my hands again. “Good girl,” he whispered, his voice hovering just above me, and I gasped softly to realize how close he was. My body jerked, wanting to reach out and embrace him, but I quelled that response. I wanted to feel him against me, but at the same time I wanted to be good, and I was rewarded as I felt his fingers hook themselves around the waistband of my underwear and pull them down and off of my body. I was laid bare, but I didn’t feel exposed or vulnerable in a bad way. I felt anticipation, longing, want and need … I felt love.

 

The bed creaked as it shifted from him moving. He had obviously swung a leg over me as I could feel by the way it dipped on either side of my body. It was emphasized as I felt him lean over me, his breath sweeping over my skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake. I gasped softly as I felt his skin covered hand caress my cheek before his lips descended upon mine. Soft at first, and then firm and hard, claiming, leaving my mouth almost swollen in their wake. I was his and he was mine and the tension in the air practically vibrated between us with the intensity. My chest felt like it would burst with the emotion that just that one kiss left in its wake. All the hunger and desire that it stirred up within me threatened to undo me already, and he had barely touched me. Although my eyes were covered, I felt like my soul was laid bare. But I wasn’t scared, not at all. I felt safe and secure, like I was right where I needed to be. Nick would take care of me. He always would.

 

His flesh covered hand reached down between my legs and began gently massaging the little bud that was just begging for attention, releasing a moan from the back of my throat as he worked me over. He didn’t even start up the vibration in his fingers, didn’t really need to as I was wound up pretty tight already. I think he recognized that from my keening whimper as he pressed just slightly harder against it, giving it just a little bit more friction. Fuck but I wanted to come already, even though I hadn’t even felt him inside me yet. And I had a feeling that wasn’t what he wanted by the way he kept up his slow, methodical pace, teasing me until tears leaked from my eyes and my body trembled at the intensity. Only then did he withdraw his hand, but only for a moment as he parted my legs and nestled himself in between them, positioning himself at my entrance. It was then, as I wrapped my legs around him, that I felt that something was … off. It wasn’t until he pushed himself in and then lowered his body to engulf mine that I realized that particular phrasing that my mind had assigned to it was not just figurative, it was literal as well.

 

“Nick are you … did you take _all_ your clothes off?”

 

He planted soft kisses along my neck as he gently ground into me, not pumping just yet, simply savouring the moment. “Yes.”

 

I was stunned into a silence for a moment, shocked that he would go so far as to remove all his clothing. He’d made it pretty clear in our first time together that he was uncomfortable being naked during our trysts, and I’d made no move for him to change a thing. If anything, I thought being fucked by a man still wearing most of his clothes was sexy as hell, and if it made Nick comfortable then that was just an added bonus. But this time, he’d inexplicably removed them and I couldn’t quite comprehend … “Why?”

 

Nick paused, his hips still as he cupped my face. Even though I couldn’t see him, I could picture the look on his face as he spoke, the hunger and the want so easy to read. “Because I needed to _feel_ you. All of you. Every inch of your skin against mine.”

 

A lightbulb clicked in my head. “That’s why you wanted to blindfold me.”

 

He chuckled as he replied, “Yes. I … I still don’t want you to see …”

 

From his voice, I could tell he was right above my face, and I threw all caution to the wind as I leaned up and approximated where his mouth should be. I wasn’t too far off, and he corrected my slight deviance quickly, his right hand skimming along my hip as we finally parted. “I love _you_ Nick. All of you. Even the parts that are falling apart that you don’t like, I love them, too. I love them more because you don’t. But I’ll also never push you into something you’re uncomfortable with. So until the day you’re comfortable enough to do this without me being blindfolded, you just keep your tie handy, you hear me?”

 

“Loud and clear, doll.” That was all the forewarning I got as he suddenly pulled almost all the way out and slammed into me. He practically devoured my lips and my neck as he pounded into me hard and fast, leaving me breathless and panting to catch up between moans. The bed shuddered with his effort, the width of the top of the frame the only reason that my fingers didn’t end up smashed against the wall as I continued to grip the bars of the headboard. He was relentless in pace, punishing and unmerciful in the power behind him, but I never once even thought to use the safe word. It was brutal and it was hard and it was just right and fuck if I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted him to stop.

 

Suddenly, he pulled at my torso, commanding me, “Let go.” I immediately did so, and he pulled me up to a sitting position in his lap. His thrusts weren’t as punishing as before but they were deep and I threw my head back as I ground back against him, wanting more of him, all of him, everything he could give me and more. His vibration suddenly flicked on, and he didn’t ease into it as I could tell it was immediately on high. My voice felt hoarse from all the effort but I couldn’t find it in myself to care. Just the feel of his actual skin flush against mine was amazing, and more than worth it if I ended up losing my voice. I gripped his shoulders as he held me tight against him, feeling like I was holding on for dear life as he nipped at my neck before biting and tugging at my ear. My fingernails dug into him but he didn’t seem to mind as we both spiralled upwards, faster and faster until we were both standing on the very brink. Then he growled in my ear, “Come with me.” And that was that. I was shattered, coming apart in his arms as I trembled and gasped, tears falling rapidly as I buried my face in his neck. The sheer intensity of it was shocking, and consequently it took me a good while to come down.

 

Nick, as always, was patient. After he got a hold of himself, he gently lowered me to the bed, leaving me only for a few moments to slip on his clothes while I laid there, still shaking a little. I wouldn’t have opened my eyes even if he had taken the blindfold off first, I was still trying to gather myself even as I heard him traverse the floor back over to the bed. He tugged at the knot and it easily came free, but it still took me a few moments to even try to open my eyes. When I did, I had to blink a couple of times before things would come back into focus, and when they did it was all on the synth that was sitting on the side of the bed, his pants already on and his shirt buttoned up, though it was still pulled out of his waistband. He reached out to gently cup my cheek as he asked, “You alright, doll?” I nodded, not quite trusting my voice yet, and he asked, “Intense?” I nodded again, to which he replied, “Come here, princess, let me hold you.” Instead of laying down with me and therefore tempting me back into sleep, he pulled me into a sitting position and held me close. I tucked my legs under me and leaned into him, savouring the support he offered. His hands gently stroked my back, making nonsensical little patterns as we sat there. I knew that despite how well-adjusted he was in most areas, Nick was still a little sensitive when it came to certain things. I empathized with him, to that extent, his want to fully be the human that he felt he was, to physically look like the image of himself in his own head. In that moment, I wished more than ever that I could give that to him. _If there’s a way, Nick, I promise I’ll find it for you._

 

When I finally gathered myself and felt like I could actually stand, I cleaned up and pulled on my Vaultsuit. While the sex detour was certainly nice, and I would never say no to it, there was an actual purpose for us being in Goodneighbor, and with any luck that reason should be found in The Third Rail. So we packed up and traipsed down the steps, handing off our key to Claire at the front desk before we made our way across the street to the bar. Ham simply nodded to Nick and I as we passed him and descended into the old subway station. Whoever had taken and made over the place into a bar had been ingenious, as the space seemed to have always existed in the state it was currently in. It was almost difficult to see where the old bones of the subway ended and the new growth of the bar began.

 

As we hit the last step, we heard a bark of raucous laughter with a familiar rasp to it. Sure enough, as soon as we’d hit the bottom, a certain current mayor was sauntering over to us, a lopsided smirk on his face. “Well, well, well, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you around here, Nick.” When he drew abreast to us, he seemed to realize that Nick wasn’t alone, and he turned up his smile as he added, “And who is this? I don’t remember seeing a Vault dweller around here before.”

 

“I’ve been here once before, but I was in and out, didn’t have the time to mingle.”

 

“Shame. I would have liked to give you the personal tour.” I chuckled at his upfront nature. It had been a common joke that Hancock would fuck just about anything with a pulse, but seeing him in action was something else. smooth as silk and twice as charming. Perhaps if a certain synth detective didn’t exist, maybe Hancock and I would have connected. Or maybe not. Either way, that was a potential path that I had no interest in walking down. Nick was my first love when I played the game, and he was definitely my first love when I actually got a shot at this. And I wasn’t the kind of person to sleep around just for the thrill of it or because this was a once in a lifetime opportunity so why not. Just because I was in a different world now didn’t mean that changed who I was and what I believed.

 

Nick, however, wanted to stake his claim and make sure it was known. He snaked an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him before he said, emphatically, “She’s with me.”

 

John, to his credit, didn’t push it, as he smiled and lifted his hands as if in surrender. “Well don’t let me get in your way, then. I know you don’t go after dames that often. But, uh, if Nicky here isn’t quite doin it for ya, or if he so happens to fuck it up, come see me in the Statehouse.” And with a wink, he let us be, ambling back over to the bar and ordering another drink from Charlie. The person who I really needed to see, however, was back in the VIP room, and so we made our way back there, passing a couple of Gunners on their way out. I hoped he wasn’t in too sour of a mood as we entered, but if he was he at least didn’t seem keen on kicking us out immediately.

 

Lounging back in his chair, the former mayor of Little Lamplight quirked an eyebrow to see Nick and I. “Look,” he began, his snarky side showing strong, “if you’re preachin’ about the Atom or lookin’ for a friend, you’ve got the wrong guy. If you need a hired gun, then maybe we can talk.”

 

“Then let’s talk,” I replied, stepping forward. “I’m looking to hire someone to act as my General’s bodyguard when he needs it.”

 

“Your _General_? General of what?”

 

“Of the Minutemen. I’m Lia Bauer, Major general. He’d expressed to me how he wished to have someone to accompany him on his missions when he needs them, and so I’ve taken it upon myself to seek someone out. You seem like you would fit the bill, if you’re willing.”

 

“Well, that depends. I don’t fight for a cause, I fight for caps. 250 if you wanna hire me.” I had already counted out the amount that I needed to hire RJ with, and I tossed the small bag at him, which he immediately opened and counted swiftly. Once he confirmed it was all there, he tucked it into his pack, stood up, and shouldered it along with his gun. Flashing me a smile, he said, “Lead the way, boss.”


	17. High Hopes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating, I tried to keep ahead of Kinktober as much as possible, but I got close to falling behind, so I wasn't able to devote much time to this until after. I hope the wait was worth it! Not a whole lot going on, but setting up for some important things later. :)

_Fulfill the prophecy,_

_Be something greater,_

_Go make a legacy,_

_Manifest destiny ..._

 

_... Burn your biographies,_

_Rewrite your history,_

_Light up your wildest dreams ..._

 

_~ "High Hopes" Panic! At the Disco_

 

 

\-----------

 

After a short jaunt back to the Castle, my heart sang in relief as we walked through the gate, an air of familiarity hanging heavy through the air for me. It wasn’t exactly _home_ for me, per se, but I felt most comfortable here, with both the Minutemen and the Railroad around, working together in harmony. It was moments like these, where I could see the fruits of everything I had planted coming to life, that I actually felt confident in myself. Like, even though I wasn’t really out there in the Commonwealth all that much, wasn’t taking out raider nests and and super mutant compounds or eliminating groups of ferals, I was still making a difference. We still had some trials ahead, but we’d conquered everything we’d set out to so far, and I was even more confident in our ability to see this through to the end.

 

I wasn’t sure when Nate would be coming back, or even if he would before the Mass Fusion mission was pushed on him. I was glad that I’d had the opportunity to brush him up on that mission while I’d been painting his synth helmet. I hadn’t been sure if he would have the opportunity to come back here before or not, so I didn’t take any chances. I still hoped he’d have a chance, though. Since waking up in this world, he was the first human I’d made contact with, and likewise I was the first human contact he’d had since waking up for good. It had bonded us, in a way, and I felt like he was an older brother, almost. Well, maybe technically younger. I actually wasn’t sure how old Nate was. But the feeling didn’t change.

 

Checking in with Ronnie, nothing had changed since I’d been gone. She gladly gave over command to me and I made a couple of rounds up top before descending to Railroad HQ to check in with Dez and inform her of the mission’s success. She smirked as I delivered the news, taking a puff and blowing out the smoke as she commented, “Wasn’t worried in the slightest. Glad to hear it went well. You also might be interested to hear that one of our agents heard quite the firefight going on in the Mass Fusion building. Know anything about that?”

 

Ah, so they were already going for it, then. Nodding, I replied, “Yep, it’s Nate and the Institute. They’re going after the beryllium agitator there. And the Brotherhood isn’t going to let them have it without a fight.”

 

“Hmm,” was all she said in response. She took another drag from her freshly lit cigarette before she nodded at my new companion and asked, “And who is this?”

 

“RJ MacCready. Nate mentioned he liked having someone traveling with him in the Commonwealth, so I hired him.”

 

She eyed him up and down before commenting, “Well, I trust your judgement. I suppose I’d be a fool not to at this point.”

 

Ascending back to the Castle proper, we all retired to the General’s quarters as we awaited Nate, which at this point I figured I shouldn’t expect him until the next day, more than likely, possibly the day after if he stayed to spend some time with Shaun. Which, I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I’d already encouraged him to spend as much time as he could _while_ he could. I couldn’t begrudge him that. Shaun was the one tie he had left to his old life, and even though he was an old man now, he was still his son.

 

Settling down to relax - at least for the moment - we got to all share a meal. During which, of course, RJ had a few questions. “So,” he asked around the sandwich, “what was that all about?”

 

I had a pretty good idea what he was asking, but I wondered if I should go ahead and let the mercenary in on everything I knew just yet. I wanted to, especially with his little cinnamon roll ass sitting right in front of me, but I stalled for a moment as I asked, “What was what all about?”

 

“That whole _thing_ back there. You sayin’ pretty much exactly what’s going on. How do you know?”

 

My eyes darted over to Nick for support before I put down my food and folded my hands on the table. “There are … _things_ that I know. Not because of intelligence I’ve gathered or some spy network that I have. I know these things because I’ve … well, not _lived_ them, per se, but I’ve experienced them.”

 

His eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t think I follow.”

 

Sighing, I rubbed my forehead. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, this is all just kind of … weird to explain. See, I’m not _from_ here. And when I say I’m not from here, I don’t mean the Commonwealth specifically, I mean _here_. The _world._ ”

 

He looked at me dumbfounded for a moment before he murmured, “Don’t f … don’t tell me you’re an alien.”

 

I laughed. “No, not an alien. I’m from Earth, just not this one.”

 

“Well how does that work?”

 

“Truthfully? I’m not really sure. I just woke up here one day. But where I’m from, this world isn’t unknown. It’s … it’s encapsulated in a video game. The stories, the questlines, the people, everything. I know this wasteland because I’ve roamed it, not for myself, but in the game. I’ve met people, rebuilt, and I’ve done my best to leave the Commonwealth for the better, but … well, game mechanics are kind of limiting. So when I woke up here, I decided to hell with game mechanics, I’m going to try to _really_ give the Commonwealth a future, or as good of one as can be had.”

 

“I see.” He didn’t quite look like he believed me, but he took another bite of his sandwich as he digested the information. “And what about me? Do I appear in any of these games?”

 

Smirking, I revealed, “Actually, you’re in _two_ of them.”

 

It was his turn to laugh. “Really now?”

 

Nodding, I replied, “In the instalment _Fallout 4_ , you appear as a merc for hire in The Third Rail, available as a travelling companion for 250 caps, though a high enough charisma skill can bargain you down to 200 or even 100.”

 

“Heh. So that’s why you had 250 at the ready. I thought it was a little strange to carry that exact amount on you. Why not try to bargain me down, though, if you thought you could?”

 

I shrugged. “I saw no need to. I had the caps available, and I like you. No need to stiff you.”

 

“You, uh … _like_ me?”

 

I realized my choice of words was not exactly ideal, and I had to backtrack a little. Not that he wasn’t adorable or anything, but it was hard for me to see him in that way because of my first encounter with him. “Not like _that_ , but that’s mostly because it’s hard not to see the mayor of Little Lamplight.”

 

That got his attention as he paused mid-chew, swallowing and then setting down his sandwich. “So you know about that, huh?”

 

“Yep. The first time I met you - and the first appearance you make in the games, is in _Fallout 3_ , which takes place in the Capitol Wasteland, about ten years prior to the events taking place here.”

 

“Huh,” was all he had, grasping and lifting his hat as he scratched at his scalp with the same hand, replacing the hat when he finished. “So, uh, what all do you know?”

 

“About you?” He paused a moment before he bit his lip and nodded, like he was unsure if he really wanted to ask, so I decided to go easy on him. “I know you got kicked out of Little Lamplight once you came of age. That you met Lucy. That you had a son. I … I know what happened to her. And I know about Duncan and how he’s sick and that that’s why you’re here.”

 

By the little, sharp exhale, I could tell he didn’t think this information I had would be quite that detailed. “You, uh … you know about Duncan?”

 

I nodded. “I know you took a job with the Gunnars to try to help him out, but left and have been hounded by them since. I also know what you’re looking for is in the Med-Tek research facility, and that it will work.”

 

His eyes were still guarded, but I could tell that I was starting to get through to him. I had figured the best way to approach his situation was to be upfront with him and tell him the truth, that while he might not trust me exactly, that was fine. I didn’t need him to trust me to allow me to help his son. In the end, he was a parent, and he only wanted to help his kid. And here I was, offering him the confirmation and the opportunity to do just that. His fingertips drummed against the table as he considered his options before he said, “Give me a little time to give this some thought.”

 

“Of course.” I didn’t expect him to give in right away, though I hoped he wouldn’t hold off too long. I suspected, however, that he wouldn’t hold out too long. Not with Duncan’s very life on the line. I needed only wait until he came to me, and I could do that.

 

A quiet hush descended on the Castle that evening, the lull of a peaceful night. We wouldn’t get many of those, so we savoured it while we could. Sooner or later we would have the Brotherhood to contend with, and who knew how much fight they would put up until they backed off. I was hoping I could convince Arthur it was in his best interests to leave the Commonwealth to its own devices, but I still wasn’t sure how I could do that. Or if I even had an actual shot at being successful. So many questions, so many possibilities, but there was no backing out now. Everything had been set in motion, and we had to see it through to the end.

 

Nate didn’t return until the next evening, as I’d suspected, and he was quite the welcome sight as he strolled in, wearing his Vaultsuit once more. It was nice to see his familiar face once more, and he pulled me into a side hug, noticeably avoiding his other side.

 

Quirking an eyebrow, I asked, “Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah, just aggravated an injury at Mass Fusion. No big deal, though. Just rested up a little. I’ll be fine,” he was quick to assure me. Noticing RJ in the room, he asked, “Who’s this?”

 

I motioned to the merc as I introduced, “General? This is RJ MacCready, a merc I hired for you when you’re up here on the surface and need some backup. RJ? This is General Nate Howard, Commonwealth Minutemen.”

 

RJ rose from the chair he occupied and nodded. “Whenever and wherever you need me, I’m your guy.”

 

Nate clapped me on my back. “Great job. It’ll be nice having somebody watch my back out there. Speaking of, does he …” he trailed off, but I knew what he was getting at.

 

Nodding, I replied, “Yeah, I told him. He knows.”

 

“A lot more than I’m probably comfortable with, but there ya go,” RJ piped up. He shot me a mischievous grin, though, letting me know it was all in good fun. He seemed to be the type to rag on his own friends, and I hoped he would one day consider me one the way I already considered him one. Maybe I was jumping the gun, but I’d always loved his character, even when he was an abrasive asshole.

 

Nate chuckled. “Tell me about it. Our first meeting was … interesting.”

 

“If I remember correctly, you pulled a gun on me.”

 

“I said I was sorry!”

 

I laughed as I playfully hit him on the shoulder. “I know. Now, I suppose it’s time we catch up with each other.”

 

The General nodded, sitting gingerly at the table so as not to aggravate his side while I ran to grab us all some dinner so we could eat while we talked. I was pretty sure I had the measure of everything he’d been doing, but it was good to hear confirmation of that. Sure enough, once the Bunker Hill operation had been completed, back at the Institute, Shaun had officially announced his condition to the Board and had named Nate as his successor. Even though he’d known it was coming for weeks now, it still hit Nate pretty hard, and they’d ended up spending a good deal of time together that evening. That, I definitely couldn’t fault him for. Shaun was a whole mixed bag for me, releasing the Sole Survivor but having his own, not-quite-honest motivations regarding it. I’d always tried to frame it as his upbringing, brainwashed by the Institute, but of course there was always doubt when it came to the truth because the truth just wasn’t quite there to be found in the game, contradictions abounding. But hearing that Shaun himself did indeed savour the time his real father spent with him … it gave me hope that perhaps he was just trying to do the best he could with what he had. And maybe I was just gullible, but I wanted to believe it.

 

Fortunately, even though there were no rogue synths to round up at Bunker Hill, the Institute seemed satisfied that they’d simply received some faulty intel and the courser that went with Nate even commended him on how he’d handled fighting the Brotherhood. With the synth helmet and courser jacket, no one had been any the wiser that Nate hadn’t just been another Institute agent. There were casualties on both sides, there was no getting around that, but Nate had come through that encounter without a scratch. The next day, Allie Filmore had approached him about going to Mass Fusion, and he’d accepted with no hesitation, giving the appearance that he was eager to help. Of course, the Brotherhood had made it there just ahead of them, but they were able to easily take care of the few who’d beat them there before descending to where the reactor was. Getting the beryllium agitator was easy, what was less so was the tankbot waiting for Nate once he got out of the chamber. That was where he had aggravated his old injury, protecting Allie Filmore as he took at the tankbot and the assaultron that had entered the room when the defences had been tripped. It wasn’t an easy fight by far, but Nate’d had the foresight to scoop X6-88 for this mission, and he had proved invaluable. With their prize in tow, fighting their way out was simple enough, and he had taken the time to rest before he returned to the Castle.

 

All in all, it was about what I’d been expecting, and I was glad to hear that nothing had gone amiss. Nate was much more surprised to hear of my own exploits. He insisted I tell him everything that happened when Nick and Dan and I rescued Amelia, listening with rapt attention, though there honestly wasn’t much to tell. It was a pretty simple operation, much simpler than Nate’s recent missions, but when I finished telling him he was beaming with pride nonetheless. Clapping me on the shoulder, he exclaimed, “So, the big city girl is starting to strike out on her own here in the Commonwealth!”

 

I blushed furiously. “I wasn’t without help. Nick was with me the whole time, and Dan joined us when we actually breached the facility.”

 

“Still, I remember a certain someone trying to convince me _not_ to take her along when we rescued Nick from that Vault …”

 

My face was only growing hotter by the moment, and I suddenly wished I could melt into the floor. I would have gotten up and left for a walk, on the pretence of checking the grounds, but I still had to discuss things with Nate and so I was stuck. Clearing my throat, I pointed out, “I’m getting a _little_ better at shooting.”

 

It was his turn to playfully punch me in the shoulder. “Just kidding, Lia.”

 

I harrumphed dramatically, but couldn’t help the smile at his laughter. _I guess he really is like a brother, annoying teasing and all_.

 

With both of us caught up with everything going on with each other - and Nate commended me on promoting Ronnie to Brigadier general - Nate and I carefully went through the next steps. We were at a critical time, needing to tread carefully in order to avoid the Brotherhood discovering our hidden alliance and also not cast suspicion on Nate at the Institute at the same time. He had managed to buy us some time, since his next mission was an easy one, the one where he had to go and fix the radio at Diamond City and broadcast a pre-recorded message to the Commonwealth, announcing the advancement of the Institute. It was going to be hard to convince the Brotherhood it wasn’t what it looked like if they managed to overhear it, but he couldn’t just refuse to do it as he didn’t really have a good reason not to. “Leave it to me to smooth things over with the Brotherhood,” I assured him, already formulating a plan in my head. I’d have to really play to the good rapport I had with Arthur, but I had a feeling I could pull it off.

 

Nate raised a brow, crossing his arms as he asked, “Are you sure you can handle Elder Maxson?”

 

I chuckled. “No problem.”

 

He nodded, satisfied with my confidence. He had learned long ago to trust me, and so when I said I would handle a problem, I would handle it. Just to make sure that Nate wouldn’t be recognized and therefore ratted out to a Brotherhood informant should they go sniffing around to see who submitted the message for play over the radio, I sent him down to Deacon to consult on a disguise. Between Deacon’s expertise and _the bag_ , I knew they would be just fine.

 

As for me, though, I was exhausted and felt like I was dead on my feet. After taking care of my nightly routine, I kissed Nick goodnight and settled down in my sleep pack for the night. Nick was right by my head, as always, and RJ sat at the table, knocking back some hard liquor as he wound down for the night. It wasn’t hard for me to relax, and I was soon drifting through an aimless doze, not fully asleep but definitely not awake, either. Instead, I was deeply relaxed, completely slack as my body slowly surrendered to sleep. Or, at least, I was until I heard my name and then I was suddenly jerked into consciousness, my body still relaxed but my mind alert and on edge, my ears almost burning as they listened with intensity.

 

It was RJ talking, I realized, and he was asking, “So what’s her deal, then?”

 

I heard Nick’s rumbling voice respond. “She wants to help people. The whole damn Commonwealth if she can.”

 

“But why? I guess I just don’t get what’s in it for her?”

 

A pause, and then I felt the light touch of his fingers as they threaded through my hair, stroking the white-blond tresses as he murmured, “Because she cares. Because she has high hopes for us all. Because she has a vision and she’s determined to see it through, even if she has to run herself ragged to do so.”

 

There was a light snort, and then RJ said, “Just kinda hard to believe someone’s really out there doin’ something like this out of the goodness of their heart.”

 

Nick chuckled. “Believe me, I know, and I usually try to assume the best of people. But Lia’s different. It’s quite something to get used to. Just give her a chance. She won’t do wrong by you. She hasn’t done that to anyone yet.”

 

“Except those Brotherhood people, or I suppose that hasn’t happened yet.”

 

A sigh, and then, “And believe me, she’s been trying like hell to find a way to handle them, so that they can walk away and we don’t have to chase them out guns blazing. Even though they’re on a different side, she still wants to save them. Hell, we were talking a few days ago and she was lamenting over not being able to save some raiders over in Nuka World.”

 

“Raiders? Heh.” RJ paused before he commented, “I think this job became a bit more complicated than I was bargaining on.”

 

“Feel like you’re in over your head?”

 

“Yeah, a bit.”

 

“Wanna walk away?”

 

A laugh. “Hell no. Anyone willing to give me a full amount of caps knowing they could bargain me down for less deserves a chance in my book. And if what she’s saying about Duncan is true …”

 

“Just say the word, she’ll take care of you.”

 

“I know, I know, I just … I need some time to think about it.”

 

“Understood. She’ll wait. She always will.”

 

They both paused the conversation so long, I thought it was over until RJ commented quietly, “Do you guys really think you can pull this off? This whole vision for the Commonwealth?”

 

A short pause, and then Nick replied, “I know it seems grandiose and impossible, but in the past weeks I’ve seen a lot of seemingly impossible things happen. With her foresight, Nate was able to pluck me out of that Vault, they were able to retake this Castle here, and she was even key in brokering an alliance between the Railroad and the Minutemen, something that either party would have never done on their own. Repelling the Brotherhood and taking over the Institute from the inside, it _sounds_ impossible, but if anyone can see us through, it’s her.”

 

There was a short scraping sound as it seemed like RJ pushed his chair back. “I’m gonna take a little walk, get some fresh air. Can I set a pack out in here, or is there somewhere else I can lie down?”

 

Nick confirmed he was fine to lay a pack wherever he wanted and RJ was out the door. Nick never stopped stroking my hair, and that combined with the utter exhaustion I was still feeling helped lull me back into that dozing twilight, eventually deepening into the dark night of sleep.


	18. The Dangerous Games We Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on getting this posted yesterday, but the chapter ran a little overly long when I was writing it. I'm sure y'all won't mind, right? Haha.

_ I can hear the sirens burning, _

_ Red lights turning, _

_ I can't turn back now. _

_ So hold on tight ... _

 

_ ~~ "Dangerous", David Guetta ft. Sam Martin _

 

\-----------

 

Dawn arrived somehow even sooner than I thought it would, and I yawned and snuggled deeper into my sleep pack. I could feel the chill in the air and I wondered how we were going to combat the cold in the winter. It’s not like an all out heating system would be very practical to install in the Castle - never mind if it would even be possible or not - but we were going to have to figure out something. I wasn’t sure what winters in Boston was like, either before or after the war and if it had changed afterward, but as a Canadian, winter was firmly implanted in my mind as very cold and pretty snowy. I had never seen snow in game before, not even in Far Harbour where logically it probably should, given that it was supposed to be an island off the coast of Maine, but perhaps the nuclear annihilation of the planet had drastically altered the climate. It was the only reason I could think of for why it wasn’t colder than it was, but I wasn’t going to hold out hope that this was as cold as it would ever get. I made a mental note to look into wood stoves, if there were any around or if they were easy to construct so that the Minutemen and Railroad personnel didn’t freeze their ass off. And myself along with them.

 

The Castle was all quiet for now, the silence broken only by the occasional soft tap of footsteps as the Minutemen on guard duty made their rounds. Soon enough, the majority of people would be up and busying themselves with their jobs, whether that was prepping the grounds for a garden come springtime, rebuilding what needed repair in the Castle, switching out guard duty, manning the kitchens, or whatever else needed to happen on a daily basis. I couldn’t lie, I was very proud of every one of them, how they had come together and organised, worked together so that they could better serve the Commonwealth. We’d been getting in reports here and there of settlements that needed assistance, and they’d been responding to them, going out and dealing with whatever problem was there. I’d kept an eye on those reports, even written up some files for the men to refer to of different places they might be sent to and what to look out there for. It wasn’t much, and I didn’t risk going into as much detail as I did with Nate because I didn’t want to raise suspicion of who I really was, but it was a lot better than walking in there blind. That’s all it was, it just looked like recon reports. That I could work with. Being scrutinised for the level of information I had, I couldn’t. I kept that under wraps, trusting only a few people with the knowledge that I wasn’t really from the Commonwealth. Nate, obviously, as I’d never thought a subtle approach would work with him - especially when I needed so many things to go right, and being subtle could mean the difference between success and disaster - and Preston had been the first, if only to have someone else who maybe, possibly understood me and where I was coming from. Nick was a natural choice to bring in. Dez and Deacon and Glory I had conceded in a hopeful exchange for their alliance. And now RJ MacCready was included in this little circle. I had thought long and hard whether or not to bring him in, and ultimately I had decided to go ahead and do it. After all, in real life, I wasn’t sure how bad off Duncan was, but presumably the sooner RJ would trust us enough to allow us to help him, the better it was for his son. And I was already witnessing one man I cared for lose his son - _again_ \- I wasn’t about to go through this a second time. Nate’s face, his voice, his whole demeanour when he told me about Shaun officially breaking the news of his condition … the gut punch felt fresh and new, harder and sharper than the first time I’d played the game. Even then I had paused it, needing a few minutes to process the tragedy unfolding before I could go on. To see it play out in front of me, for real, it was worlds different.

 

I dozed off and on until I couldn’t anymore, cracking my eyes and blinking to try to clear my vision. The room slowly came into focus, and along with Nick at my head and RJ across the room, I was almost surprised to see Nate tucked in the corner, lying on his back, passed the fuck out. Mouth open and everything, not snoring but sleeping pretty damn hard, the kind of sleep that it would take a mini-nuke to wake up from. _Well shit, he needs it._ And, really, it would give me a little bit more time to solidify my plan on placating Arthur, should I need to. If I needed to. _Oh come, you know Arthur’s gonna hear that damn message, your luck is not_ that _good._ I had to concede that, while there had been a whole lot going right, I couldn’t count on everything to go right _forever_. If anything, I was a little tense just because everything was going so swimmingly, like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. But since there wasn’t anything that had gone wrong _yet_ , there wasn’t really anything I could do aside from sit back and plan out contingencies just in case they were needed. I was grateful to Nate that he agreed to rescue Nick, not only because he was now my significant other, but also because Nick really did help me when it came to planning and thinking things out. Just having someone to act as a sounding board and who I could trust did take some of the pressure off of me, just enough so that I didn’t burst. And hey, that was something.

 

Sitting up slowly, I rubbed my eyes and yawned, leaning against the cold stone wall for a moment as I got my bearings. I could hear Nick’s mechanical processes start to whir a little bit louder, a little bit quicker as he came out of his rest cycle. It was something that other people probably didn’t even notice, but I did, I did because I’d spent so much time with him, been so close to him I was now intimately familiar with many things that others weren’t. I glanced over at him as he fully came back online and his eyes immediately went to look at me. I smiled as I whispered, “Mornin’.”

 

“Morning, doll,” he returned, reaching out to tuck an errant strand of hair behind my ear with his metal hand. He must have caught sight of Nate out of the corner of his eye as he asked, “Nate’s still here?”

 

I nodded. “I’m surprised he hasn’t left yet. But he probably needs his rest.” Stretching, I slowly stood up, reaching out to the wall behind me to maintain my balance. Shooting a still sleepy grin at Nick, I asked, “I think a walk before breakfast is in order. You wanna come?” I knew he wasn’t gonna say no, and he didn’t. After a quick stop by the latrine, we made our rounds around the Castle wall, the cool air waking me up quite sufficiently. It might be more abrupt than a cup of good coffee, but it worked, and so I couldn’t really say anything against it. Keats was up on one of the guard posts on top of the wall, overseeing the watch, and he reported nothing suspicious in the area. _Good, the less we have to worry about the better._ It was rather serendipitous that, when we began walking back toward the stairs, my stomach started rumbling, protesting the lack of food since I’d woken up. _Well, I guess I know where to stop by next._ The kitchen area had been completely rebuilt, with a couple of working stoves and ovens and new shelving and storage. They even had a few tables up against the wall so Minutemen or Railroad members coming and going at odd hours could sit down and eat without disturbing anyone else. It just brought a sense of normalcy to a situation that was far from it.

 

Dex was on kitchen duty this morning, and the tall, broad Minuteman flashed a smile over her shoulder as we came in. “Morning, Major general. Mr. Valentine.” I returned the greeting and grabbed a bowl from the cabinet, intending on grabbing some of the oatmeal-like breakfast offering that was simmering on low to keep it warm. Dex was one of those people that looked intimidating as all hell, but she was really a sweetheart. She was the reason the Castle had acquired a few cats recently, all in the name of keeping rats and pests out of the food stores, but secretly Dex was just a softie who couldn’t resist a little ball of fluff.

 

RJ came in right as I sat down with a piping hot bowl, and Nate wandered in, still yawning, when I was about halfway through. He only took a small portion, preferring an extra large cup of coffee in compensation. A couple more Minutemen came through, grabbing bowls of oatmeal or cups of coffee before they ducked back out, on their way to their own duties. It wasn’t often that we were afforded a leisurely breakfast, but it was a nice change of pace for once.

 

Nate had to leave soon after anyway, packing up his bag, along with his disguise. He hemmed and hawed about taking RJ with him or not, but ultimately decided to leave him behind, just because he didn’t want him tied to this particular mission. What use was there in going to Diamond City in disguise only to have a traveling companion who was about to be known as your bodyguard? It just didn’t make sense. He did assure RJ that he would be swinging back by the Castle for him, however, since an Institute scientist had asked him to gather some samples for them and where he had to go wasn’t too far away. And once again, I was giving him a hug, wishing him well. “Good luck, Nate.”

 

He chuckled as he returned the hug. “Thanks. I’m only going to Diamond City, you know.”

 

“I know! But still, can never be too careful out there.”

 

He winked. “Of course. Just hold it down here, I’ll be back before you know it.”

 

And just like that, I was back in my duties as Major general, receiving and prioritising reports we received from settlements and other Minutemen throughout the Commonwealth. I also had Nick on standby, ready to bug out and run down to Dez and the Railroad and tell them to lay low, should the Brotherhood come knocking. Nate had made sure to tell them what was going to happen today, so those of us in the know were on high alert already. I tried my damndest to focus on what was in front of me, but the stress of knowing what was about to happen, and having a good guess as to the confrontation that was going to cause, had my mind going in a million different directions until I realised I had been reading the same sentence for the past twenty minutes. Setting aside the report, I rubbed my eyes and rested my head in my hands, wondering if Nate had gotten to Diamond City yet and how long it would take him to fix up the radio and transmit the message. In game, it was just a small matter of installing three pieces of equipment which didn’t take much more than sticking them in certain slots. But in real life, I wasn’t sure if it was really that simple or not. We could potentially be looking at an even longer wait time once he got to Diamond City just so he could install what he needed to in order to boost the signal as directed.

 

I felt Nick’s hands on my shoulders as he gently kneaded out the knots that were starting to form. “Why don’t we take a break, doll? You aren’t getting any work done like this.”

 

With a sigh, I pushed myself up from the table, agreeing with him. RJ even joined us as we made a few rounds around the Castle. We took the former mayor up on the wall and allowed him a chance to really look at all of the potential vantage points he could have access to. For what it was worth, he had a few tips on fortification, and I listened closely, relaying to Ronnie Shaw so she could organise the men and get on it. Just because we weren’t under an immediate threat didn’t mean we couldn’t prepare, and with how good things were going, I didn’t want to chance getting too lax should something go off in the future. It seemed Nick’s suggestion had helped; out in the fresh air, I found my focus, and it was a little easier to see and think clearly. Truly, it was impressive what we had accomplished so far, taking back the Castle, building it back up into a suitable base of operations for not just one but two separate organisations. It seemed incredible that where we stood had been a veritable nesting ground for mirelurks, and yet now it was a humming hive of activity. There was a nice section of the grounds that was being transformed for planting next year, which was almost done. The radio was playing over the loudspeaker so everyone could hear. And out of the corner of my eye I saw Drummer Boy and Jenny duck out of the Castle and head out into the Commonwealth, going off on an errand for the Railroad, no doubt. Looking up into the overcast sky, I realised it was noon already, or past it more than likely. I hadn’t quite gotten the hang of telling time by the sun’s position yet, but I knew the general direction of where we were standing and using that I guesstimated it was some time in the early afternoon. It was probably about time to eat some lunch, if I’d been hungry, but truth be told my nerves still sat in the pit of my stomach and the thought of food just turned me right off. And so I just stood on the wall, looking out over the Castle and the Commonwealth in the distance, biting my lip as I continued to wait.

 

I wouldn’t be waiting much longer. Just as Nick and RJ and I started descending from the top of the wall, I heard the radio change. They normally went between broadcasting their own signal and jumping off of Diamond City’s radio, and it must have been on Diamond City’s station because all of a sudden the signal cut off and everything went silent. I paused, my hand on the railing, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up on end. _This is it._

 

Nate’s familiar voice drifted over the loudspeaker, though more monotone than usual, “People of the Commonwealth … for years now, you have suspected that the Institute still exists, that we are amoung you. It is true, but it is not the whole truth. We are the future. Our superior technology represents the future of the Commonwealth. Today, we activate our nuclear reactor, ensuring that we will persevere long after the world above ground has ceased to exist. Ensuring that mankind has a future. We have no desire to interfere in the unimportant details of your daily lives. We simply ask that you do not interfere with Institute operations. To do so would result in dire consequences. You may rest easy. Know that the future is in safe hands, that mankind will thrive under our guidance.”

 

And just like that, the message cut off and went right back to the music that it had been playing before, the cut so quick and seamless it seemed like it had barely happened. I swallowed, my heart starting to pound as I could see Minutemen starting to look to me. _They don’t know. They don’t know our plans. They don’t know this isn’t legit._ I had to act accordingly. Steeling my expression into one of fury, I marched down the stairs, playing my part perfectly as I approached the Minuteman currently working the radio tower. “What was that? That radio signal, where was it coming from?” I knew good and goddamn well where it was coming from, but I couldn’t let on that I did.

 

To his credit, the man at the radio hopped to it, answering immediately. “Diamond City radio, ma’am. That … message … whatever it was … it was on their end of the signal.” He paused before he started to ask, “Is the General …”

 

“ _No_ ,” I replied emphatically before he could even get the whole question out. “I don’t know what the Institute is trying to pull, here, but it ends now. Give me the microphone, please.” He dutifully handed me the mic that would allow me to speak over the loudspeaker, making this a whole helluva lot easier than talking to the men individually and repeating myself over and over. I figured I was likely in for that anyway, but if I could lessen it, so much the better. Pressing the button and interrupting the current broadcast, I began, “Attention: this is the Major general. I don’t know what the radio message was but rest assured, General Howard is _not_ with the Institute. Don’t let the Institute’s lies drive us apart, the way we defeat them is if we stand united. Trust in our General, trust in _me._ Trust in the Minutemen and all we’ve built together.” With that said, I handed the microphone back and stepped back, hoping that was enough to allay any fears and suspicion. We had just built everything back up again, what we were doing, what Nate was doing, it was a huge risk in the short term. But if we could pull everything off, it would be worth it in the long run. We just had to cross our fingers and hope that it wouldn’t all fall down around us in the mean time.

 

So, one part of today was done and over with. But somehow that didn’t lessen my anxiety at all. Now it simply flared in the pit of my stomach, and the fact that I had to put on a composed front made it worse. I swallowed hard, willing the nausea to cease. I wanted to just curl in a ball and cry, but all I could do was breathe deeply and evenly as I rejoined Nick and RJ.

 

Nick had just lit a cigarette, and he took a drag before he commented, voice low, “You smoothed over that pretty well.”

 

Blowing out a sigh, I nodded. “Let’s just hope I said enough to convince them,” I replied, my voice just as low.

 

RJ chuckled. “You got balls, that’s for sure.”

 

I huffed. “Glad I look confident. I feel anything but.”

 

There was a short lull in the conversation as we stood out there, the breeze picking up over the water, and Nick broke it as he asked, “So you think the Brotherhood heard that?”

 

“I’d almost bet money on it. If the signal reached out here, then it reached the Prydwyn. Arthur himself might not be listening in, but I bet he has someone monitoring the radio signals out here. Let’s just hope he comes in for a talk, not with guns blazing.”

 

Nick flicked some of his ash away as he asked, “You think he’d take the Castle by force?”

 

I shook my head. “Not really. As forceful as he is, he’s calculating. He may just be a twenty year old kid, but he’s been trained for his position for years, he won’t just throw a potential ally under the bus until he confirms what’s going on. My bet? He’ll make a show of force, to remind us who the Brotherhood is in case we _are_ thinking of turning on them, but he won’t do anything until he talks to me. He’ll bark but he won’t bite. Not yet.”

 

“I hope you’re right about that,” RJ commented.

 

“I hope so, too,” I murmured, crossing my arms and tapping my fingers against the soft material. I was having to work hard to suppress my anxiety, and I squeezed my arms tight against my torso, that little bit of pressure helping. Of course, what would really help would be for this whole thing to be over with, and then I could breathe easy.

 

My prediction held true, as we were standing out there, talking, for maybe twenty more minutes when I heard the telltale whir of a vertibird. I hissed at Nick to get to the Railroad, and he quickly followed instruction, ducking into the Castle and making for the stairs that would take him underground. “What do you want me to do, boss?” RJ asked.

 

“Just stay with me, okay?” I asked, not really wanting to go through with this confrontation all alone. It seemed I had picked up MacCready at an opportune time, and I lead him out to the gate where I knew Arthur would be landing. Sure enough, as it landed, two Brotherhood soldiers in power armour hopped out, miniguns at the ready, before Elder Maxson disembarked. The look on his face could make a yao guai cower, but I stood tall as he approached, his soldiers accompanying him. “Elder Maxson,” I addressed him as he drew near. “I’d ask why we get the pleasure of your visit, but I have a pretty good idea why you’re here.”

 

“You do, do you?” he asked, his voice calm and even, somehow even more unnerving than if he were yelling, and it sent a terrifying shiver down my spine.

 

“I assume you heard that radio message.”

 

“You assume correctly, Major general. It seems I’m missing a few key points that we didn’t go over on the Prydwyn.”

 

He was staring a damn hole through me, but I met his gaze, jaw set, shoulders thrown back. I wasn’t going to let him intimidate me. “Why don’t you step into the General’s office with me? Bring your soldiers if you want.”

 

Arthur nodded, motioning to his soldiers to follow him as I lead them to Nate’s office, RJ on my heels. I hadn’t even introduced him yet, but Arthur hadn’t questioned his presence, and I was all for just going ahead and getting this over with, especially now that he was _here_. I swallowed hard, fighting back the wave of nausea and ignoring the cramping of my stomach as we entered the office. One of the soldiers stayed outside, minigun out, and the other entered with Arthur, taking off his power armour helmet to reveal that it was Danse underneath there. I should have known he’d be at Arthur’s heels. I only hoped that, in the long run, he would understand what I was doing once he finally learned the truth of who he was and where he came from. It hurt to have to deceive Danse like this. Arthur, I didn’t feel too bad about, but Danse was my in game teddy bear and I hoped he wouldn’t hold it against me too much when all of what we were doing finally came out in the open.

 

“So,” Arthur began, “mind telling me what that broadcast was all about?”

 

“It wasn’t what it sounded like,” I replied, making a show of being exasperated and generally pissed off. Not aggressive, more like I was angry and Arthur wasn’t the target. “I’m not sure what the Institute is trying to pull, but the Minutemen are _not_ affiliated with the Institute.”

 

“Really? Because that sounded an awful lot like your General.”

 

“I know. I’m … I’m not sure how they’ve done it. Any time we’ve gone up against Institute synths, he’s gotten rid of all of them. At least, so he thought.” Sighing, I rubbed my forehead as I started to pace. “Maybe one slipped away. They probably wouldn’t need too much audio from him to manipulate his voice.”

 

“You _really_ think that’s what happened?” Arthur asked, and I knew by the tone of his voice that he wasn’t really buying into the bullshit.

 

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “It’s only a theory. What I _do_ know is that my cousin isn’t going to throw his lot in with the same people who killed his wife and took his child.”

 

This did throw Arthur for a bit of a loop, and the only way I could tell was the way his eyebrow twitched and how he unfolded his arms from across his chest. “They did what?”

 

“When we were in the Vault, under cryosleep, Nate partially woke up once. He saw two people, people that we’ve confirmed work for the Institute, take his infant son and shoot his wife.”

 

“But why?”

 

I shook my head. “We don’t know. Information is scarce, but we’re doing our best. Maybe that’s why they’re trying to sabotage Nate. Cut off his support so he can’t keep digging, can’t keep moving against them. What better way to defeat an enemy by taking away their means to fight back against you?”

 

Arthur took a deep breath, and I could tell he was mulling over what I told him in his head. Realistically, it wasn’t totally out of the question. The Institute rarely made bold, decisive moves out in the open, they typically stuck to subterfuge to get the desired result out of a situation. In order to get through to Arthur, I had to think like them, move like them, like a game of chess. Allow a piece to be taken in order to advance the play, to win in the end. The piece that we sacrificed was allowing Nate to broadcast the Institute’s message in order to seem compliant with them. The play potentially exposed us on one side, but if I could bluff well enough, the Brotherhood wouldn’t even see the opening, wouldn’t go in for the kill. I had to depend on the rapport I’d built up with them so far, hoping that my friendly but aloof position hadn’t made me seem too suspicious.

 

When he seemed to finish mulling over the information in his head, he mentioned, “You know, when you came up to the Prydwyn, no mention of this was made, about Nate’s wife and son. Talk of your involvement with the Minutemen was strictly about _rebuilding_ , not of finding a kidnapped child. So which is it?”

 

“Both, though one subject isn’t exactly something Nate likes to talk about much with people he doesn’t know, so I’ll trust you to keep this in confidence.” The tone of my voice implied the seriousness of the matter at hand, and also I hoped the bit of trust that it appeared I was placing in Arthur. I had to hope it would count for something. I paused a moment before I added, “The Commonwealth … this is our _home_ , this is all Nate and I ever knew before the war. Even once Nate finds his son, he needs somewhere to bring him _to_ , a place to raise him in relative peace. Even if the world isn’t like it was 200 years ago, we can do our best to make sure he grows up in a good environment, as safe as you can get in the wasteland. And we want that security for everyone who calls the Commonwealth home. So if you’re implying that we were lying or being duplicitous in any way during our meeting, I’d kindly ask you to think again. Any information we omitted was strictly personal and changed nothing.”

 

Arthur pursed his lips, folding his arms over his chest again. With that intimidating stare, I wanted nothing more than to simply crawl in a hole and disappear. But I couldn’t. I was Major general of the Minutemen and I had to stand tall and unwavering. I wondered what was going through his mind, hoping that he wasn’t coming up with anything else to counter what I was telling him, because I was starting to feel like I was running out of road. He let out a long breath through his nostrils before he finally asked, “So, you are vouching for your cousin, then?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“And you are certain, beyond any shadow of doubt, that this message was not from him?”

 

I nodded. “Yes.”

 

Arthur paused a moment before he commented, “Your loyalty is admirable. I only hope it is not misplaced.”

 

I had about one more whopper up my ass that I could pull out, and that was it. I surreptitiously bit down hard on the inside of my lip, the coppery taste of blood started leaking out on my tongue. I almost regretted such a rash action, but I got the intended affect that I wanted as tears started to pool in my eyes, giving some credence and emotion to what I was about to say. “Arthur,” I addressed him, informally, hoping that this drop in decorum would be received the way I hoped. “I understand that you don’t know Nate, I really do. But you weren’t there. You weren’t there when he met Nora, when they fell in love and got married and had Shaun. You weren’t there when I finally woke up, gasping and coughing from that cryosleep chamber, finding my cousin, my strong, capable, unshakable cousin collapsed on the floor, _weeping_ , and having no clue what happened. The grief, the _anger_ we’ve both worked through since we came out of that Vault, you haven’t been there for that. And so I understand, when you haven’t seen that, that you run to question Nate and his allegiances, I do. But I don’t. Because I know what we’ve been through, and I know without question that Nate would never turn around and sell out to the Institute.”

 

Hoping that that little bit of perspective helped sway him, I went quiet, clenching my jaw like I was keeping real tears at bay. I held my breath momentarily, waiting for his reaction, his reply. Would he buy this? Was I batting out of my league? Did I place too much faith in the rapport I’d built up with Arthur? Was this where I would finally fail, running out of whatever luck I’d been banking on? Our eyes never left the others, as if he was watching me just as intently as I was watching him. And, who was I kidding, I knew he was. He was keeping a close watch on my reactions, my expressions, any little indication that what I was saying wasn’t the truth. The air around us felt electric, almost, like what was going to happen next was potentially momentous in the direction the whole Commonwealth would take. Whether he believed me or not, my stomach flipped and cramped as we stood there, and I began mentally begging him to speak, to say something, _anything_ , if only to get this over with. _Come on, Arthur, what’s it going to be?_ As our unwavering gazes bore into each other, I could only feel a sick dread wash over me.


	19. The Let Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I didn't leave y'all hanging for too long. ;)

_ Yeah, I think that I might break, _

_ Lost myself again and I feel unsafe, _

 

_ Be my friend, hold me, _

_ Wrap me up, unfold me, _

_ I am small, I'm needy, _

_ Warm me up and breathe me ... _

 

_ ~~ "Breathe me", Sia _

 

_ \----------- _

 

The tension in the air was palpable as Elder Maxson and I stared each other down. I refused to give in, not now, not when the stakes were so incredibly high. We didn’t have the resources to fend off an attack by the Brotherhood, and Arthur knew it. So why was he delaying the inevitable? Did he get some sort of twisted pleasure out of this, knowing that despite all outward appearances I was shaking in my boots? How could he not know? How could he not know I was terrified as fuck, so close to just breaking down right then and there from the immense pressure of _not fucking this up_. Hell, _I_ could practically smell the fear radiating off of me.

 

Sucking his teeth, he finally broke the silence. “I see. Well, if it was the Institute’s purpose to split us up, I would say they have failed in their endeavour. But mark my words, should General Howard ever find himself in league with the Institute, he will be an enemy of the Brotherhood of Steel and as such, so will the Minutemen.”

 

I nodded. That, I could live with. “Understood. And _if_ that should ever happen, rest assured, I’ll kick his ass myself. Nora was my friend, and I hold grudges for a pretty long damn time.”

 

He actually chuckled as he commented, “I have no doubt that you do.” Clasping his hands behind he back, he added, “I’ll be keeping an eye on the situation, and if you should so happen to find out how the Institute produced this recording, I trust you will inform me immediately?”

 

“Of course, Elder.”

 

He nodded curtly. “Very well. I believe that is all, then.” As if that was a signal of some sort, Danse grabbed his power armour helmet from the table he’d set it on and settled it back on his head, hefting his minigun as he moved to follow Arthur out the door. The soldier stationed outside followed them without question, and I watched from the doorway just outside Nate’s room as they exited the Castle, not even looking back once. When they turned the corner, I likewise turned to go back to the room, not trusting my shaky feet to take me much further. I rubbed my face as I heard the engine of the vertibird whir as it lifted off to take them back to the Prydwyn, and I pressed my back against the cool, stone wall as I slipped to the floor, unable to suppress the shaking anymore as I valiantly tried to hold myself together. It was over. It was done. So why was I spiralling?

 

My breathing was coming hard and fast as I felt like I was losing my grip. _C’mon, Lia, focus! You did it! It worked! What the fuck is wrong with you?_ My body would not listen to my brain trying to yank it back into normalcy as it hit a tailspin, that sinking feeling of fear and terror and dread making me feel like I was dying. I hugged myself as tightly as I could, the pressure helping but not enough as I could feel my chest tighten and my throat close up. I needed something … _someone_ …

 

“Boss?” I heard RJ’s voice through the foggy haze, heard the scrape of his boot against the floor as he knelt in front of me. “Hey, Lia. Look at me. What’s wrong?”

 

I didn’t even know how to answer, I just needed _him_. “Nick. Can you get Nick, please? Down the stairs, he’ll be with the Railroad. Please, RJ?” My voice shook and I felt on the verge of real tears this time, hoping that RJ would acquiesce because I really didn’t think I was going to make the trip down there, and even if I somehow did, it would definitely _not_ be with the dignity becoming of a Major general.

 

Luck held for me as RJ nodded. “Just stay here, I’ll be right back with him.”

 

And with that, he was up and gone, leaving me all alone to fall apart. I thought I needed that, just a little bit of time to myself before I could wrap myself up in Nick’s arms. Just a moment to process everything that happened and … _Holy shit, I almost completely fucked it all up_. I had been close, so close to losing Arthur, had to juggle the ball several times to explain certain things and just hope and pray my explanations were enough for him. If I had stumbled, or if my brain hadn’t come up with what I needed it to, if I inadvertently created holes that couldn’t be explained away, then I would have fucked everything over in one fell swoop. Of course, my brain interpreted this relief as “let’s play out every single scenario that could have gone wrong as if it had” and I quickly felt overwhelmed again, dizziness setting in as my mind worked overtime. Visions of the Castle burning and Nick lying in a junk pile somewhere and myself left with nothing but a pile of ashes filled my mind until I was gasping on the floor, fighting back the tears and the terror, trying to find some semblance of control. My breathing exercises were forgotten, useless against the sudden rush of anxiety that I’d been tamping down and refusing to address or process since Nate left this morning. It all came spilling out at that moment, that safe moment where I didn’t have to put on a brave face or put up a front. I had let it go for too long, but what else could I have done?

 

I didn’t even hear anyone else enter the room, but I did feel arms encircling me, and I smelled the unique combination of smoke, vanilla, and gunpowder that was uniquely Nick. I melted into his touch, burying my face in his jacket as he pulled me into his lap. The vibration from his low voice rumbled through my chest as he ran his fingers through my hair. “Shhh, it’s okay, princess. Just breathe for me, alright?” I pulled him as close to me as I could physically get him, and he obliged, holding on to me tighter, giving me that wonderful pressure that I needed to feel safe again. There was a small part of me that rolled its eyes and berated me for being so needy, but in the wake of the waves of anxiety that I was currently experiencing, I couldn’t bring myself to listen to it. I could only vaguely pay attention to the conversation happening around me. “Did the meeting go that badly?”

 

“Nah. If anything, she nailed it. Then they left and she came back in here and started kinda freakin’ out. She asked for you, so I went and got you.”

 

A sigh. Then, “Lia, you put too much pressure on yourself, doll.”

 

I finally responded, though my voice was muffled by how much I was pressing my face into his chest. “But if I fucked up …”

 

“But you didn’t.”

 

“But if I _did_ …”

 

He shushed me with a kiss to the forehead as he murmured, “We can’t dwell on maybes, princess. You did it and that’s all that matters.”

 

_Then why do I still feel so fucked up?_ I didn’t say anything more, just clung to him as he held me, I heard him and RJ exchange a few more words, but I wasn’t even listening, wasn’t paying attention to what they were saying. I couldn’t anymore, was too tired of it, too mentally exhausted to process anything else at the moment. All I could really do was concentrate on the Grandpa Toaster that was holding me, and that was enough. The pressure of his embrace was comforting, and with it my breathing slowly returned to normal and I stopped shaking. With time, I even felt good enough to unbury my face from his chest and relax a little, and he let me, adjusting to whatever position I needed. It was then I realised that we were the only ones in the room. “Where did RJ go?” I asked, my voice slightly hoarse and thick.

 

“He left to give you some space. Guess he figured there was too many people in here for ya.”

 

I flushed, reminded of my weakness, my failure, and leaned on Nick again. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

 

“Sorry? What for?”

 

“For … for this. For freaking out. It’s stupid.”

 

“It’s not stupid.” When I let his statement hang there with no rebuttal, he added, “You’re putting a lot on yourself, sweetheart. Too much, if you want my opinion, though I understand why you are. When all this is over, I promise, we’ll take some time just for ourselves. Relax. _Enjoy_ life. Until then … well, I’ll be right here, whenever you need me, however you need me.”

 

My lips twisted in a rueful smile, and I tossed his own words back at him. “Whatever did I do to deserve you?”

 

He chuckled, then cupped my cheek and tilted my face up so he could look directly at me. “You’re strong, Lia. A lot stronger than I think you realise.” His thumb caressed my cheek as he continued, “But even strong people can’t stay that way forever. It’s not weak to lean on someone for support. And even if this whole godforsaken world falls down around us, I’ll still be here. Understand?” I nodded, blinking away the tears that were welling in my eyes, touched by his words and his concern. “Good.” He leaned down to softly press his lips against mine, and once again I melted right into him. It wasn’t sexual or charged or anything like that. It was gentle and loving and sweet and everything I needed at that moment. Our relationship wasn’t just sex, although that was a wonderful portion of it. We had become inextricably intertwined with each other - at what point that had happened, I wasn’t even sure - but I could no longer picture me or my future without him. That Sally’s in Winnipeg was long forgotten, as was too Tim Horton’s and winters spent frolicking in the snow. This right here, this was my whole world, and it was all I ever wanted and all I ever needed. This was far from a perfect world, but it was just right for me.

 

Nate returned later that afternoon, and while I thoroughly briefed him on the meeting that had happened between myself and Arthur - RJ backing me up with any additional insights and observations - no mention was made of my little break down from either RJ or Nick, and I was grateful to the both of them. I hated my anxiety, hated the way it tried to rule my life. I did my best to keep it under control, but sometimes it just spiralled and I had no real say in the matter. Nothing more was made of my little episode, and I was thankful. I was a tad more clingy with Nick than I would normally be, but he didn’t seem to mind, keeping an arm around me or rubbing my back, wordlessly promising me that he was there and so was his support. That night, Nick and I actually bunked in the barracks, for one because Nate and RJ planned on leaving extra early in the morning for Nate’s little side missions, and for two because I just couldn’t sleep that night without Nick actually next to me. It was a bit of a tight squeeze on the bed, but that suited me just fine. Feeling his solid body pressed up against mine was a comfort, and he held me close the whole night through. Likewise, I kept him close to me, the scent of old vanilla lulling me into a restful sleep.

 

The General and his new bodyguard were gone long before Nick and I got up, as I’d figured they would be. I even slept through most of the other Minutemen getting up and readying for the day. It was strange to sleep for that long of a stretch, but I needed it. I was getting burned out, and I would do nobody any good that way. Weeks upon weeks of averaging about five hours of sleep a night had worn me down and left me vulnerable, and I couldn’t let it happen again. When I finally did wake, snuggling even closer to Nick as I stirred, I noticed that his whirring was louder than I normally expected it to be, like he was already awake. Tilting my head up, I met his acid yellow gaze and grinned. “Already awake, huh?”

 

Playing with some stray strands of hair, he replied, “Have been for about an hour and a half.”

 

“That long? Why didn’t you wake me?”

 

“You needed the sleep. And I didn’t mind staying close.”

 

Humming contentedly, I murmured, “Sorry I made you wait.”

 

“Nothin’ doin’, doll. I don’t have anything planned and you need to take a bit of a break anyway.”

 

“Mmm. Not too long.” Of course, there wasn’t anything too pressing begging for attention at the moment, we were pretty much just on a waiting pattern. Nate had mentioned the meeting he’d been in at the Institute, where they’d expressed a desire to wipe out their opposition in the Commonwealth, and he’d managed to use his background in the army and mind for strategy to convince them to hold off on that for now, to allow him more time on the surface to assess the situation for them. That was pretty much what he said he and RJ would be doing for the next couple of days, as he’d decided there was really no reason to go directly back to the Institute just yet. A couple of doctors had asked him to perform a couple of different tasks that only could be completed on the surface, and since he was their new man up top, he was more than happy to oblige. Not only because it made him look like he was ready and willing to work for them and with them, but because it gave him extra time on the surface to confer with myself and the Railroad about anything he needed to know. We were in the home stretch, now, just playing a waiting game to see how long Shaun would last. It was … morbid to think of it that way, but it’s just the way it was. My heart felt heavy for Nate, knowing that he had to be counting down the days with a special kind of dread, knowing the death of his son was near, the only real link he had left to Nora. Once Shaun was gone, the only thing left of his old life was a rebuilt house and a Mr. Handy robot. Nothing biological, nothing tangible. Sure, he would also get a synth child, and that was a consolation of sorts, but it was nothing to replace the actual child that he made with Nora. No matter what Shaun may or may not have done and his motivations for doing so, he was still Nate’s son, the one who’d held such promise and hope for the small, pre-war family. Just like me, the sole survivor put on a brave face, but in private moments I knew he was suffering. He was stronger than me, though, he could endure without having a breakdown, at least I hoped. A lot was riding on both of us, but no matter what was going on with us personally, we had to see this through to the end.

 

When Nate and RJ returned, on the morning of the third day since they’d left, I recognized by the way his shoulders drooped that Nate was exhausted. He put on a smile, sure, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, not in the way that I knew it. The conversation he engaged in was friendly enough, but there was something aloof about him that was atypical for him, at least in how he acted towards me. So, after dinner, I took him out to see the new battlements that had been built, pointedly leaving Nick and RJ behind so we could have some alone time. Nate was impressed with all the improvements we’d made, and I made sure to mention it was all RJ’s ideas and suggestions and he chuckled. “You really made a good choice to bring him on board. Kid’s young, but he shoots like nothing I’ve ever seen. Hell, I think I felt safer with him at my back than that courser.”

 

We both chuckled at his assessment, and I was truly glad that RJ was working out even better than I’d hoped. It was like some subtle confirmation from the universe that what I was doing was right, was good, and would pay off in the end. After our shared mirth died down, we were left in silence, both of us looking out over the sea and the coastline that the Castle butted up against. The wind swept over us gently, lifting our hair as we stood there, and I knew now was my chance. “How are you, Nate?”

 

He shrugged. “I’m fine.”

 

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. “I mean really. We’ve had a lot going on, a lot happening. How are you doing with all of this?” I looked at him pointedly, and like he sensed I was staring, he turned his head to meet my gaze.

 

It was then he must have known that he couldn’t hide it from me. “Honestly … not that great.” He paused and I reached out and settled a hand on his shoulder in reassurance. “I just keep going back and forth, wanting to spend as much time as I can with Shaun and wanting to avoid him entirely. And I can’t really decide what’s the best decision to make because it all hurts. Spending time with him hurts when I see how much time I’ve lost with him. But being apart from him hurts because I know I’m missing what little time I have left. It’s like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. And I … I feel like I’ve failed already. Failed because what kind of father questions this? How do I not just know what I need to do?”

 

His voice ran thick with emotion, choking up as he concluded, and I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his broad frame as best I could. He returned the embrace, settling his his cheek against my head as he shuddered with suppressed tears. “I’m so sorry, Nate,” I whispered. “I can’t even begin to imagine what this is like for you. I’ve never had kids, don’t even want ‘em. But to have one, then have them ripped away like Shaun was from you … I don’t think there’s any kind of manual for this, no guidelines on how to appropriately respond. You’ve known what’s going to happen for a while now, but knowing it’s coming and seeing it getting close are two different things. If you want my opinion … do what you feel you need to do. Don’t worry about what the right choice is, because honestly I don’t think there is a right choice. Shaun doesn’t necessarily _need_ you, but maybe … maybe you need him. And if you do, that’s okay. Spend as much time with him as you can. And if you don’t, then that’s okay, too. I don’t think he expects one or the other from you. Just, no matter what … take some time for yourself. You need to. I haven’t been and, well, it didn’t exactly end well.”

 

Nate shifted slightly. “What do you mean?”

 

I sighed, not really wanting to confide this in him, but feeling it was necessary. “I … kinda had a breakdown the other day. After that meeting with Elder Maxson. I was so anxious the whole day, knowing what was coming, and that whole meeting I felt like my stomach was in my throat. There were several points where it could have gone _so_ wrong, and even though it didn’t, after I just … I guess it had built up too much and I had a panic attack.”

 

He squeezed me in his embrace. “I’m sorry, Lia. I guess we’re both under a lot of stress.”

 

Snorting, I mumbled, “You could say that, again.”

 

“Okay. I guess we’re both under a lot of stress.”

 

I didn’t suppress the eye roll that time, though he didn’t see it. “Hardy harr harr.”

 

We both shared a chuckle, before we lapsed into silence again, holding on to each other for comfort. After a few minutes’ pause, Nate said quietly, “Sometimes I can’t believe this is what my life has become. My wife murdered, my son older than I am and dying, the whole world in shambles. I wonder if it would have been better if I’d been the one the Institute killed, or if they just left me to die instead of waking me up. This is like a nightmare.” Choking back a sob, he added, “I just want my old life back.”

 

I squeezed him tight as the walls finally fell down for Nate, as he mourned the life he’d left behind when he entered that Vault on that fateful day. He’d never asked for any of this, never signed up for it or bargained on it. How could he have known this would happen? If he had known … maybe he would have ignored the Vault-Tec rep that morning. Maybe he would have just stayed behind with Nora and Shaun, content to greet the end of his life with his family the way it was instead of waking up to see it completely destroyed. Instead, here he was, stuck in an apocalyptic wasteland with one of the last shreds of his former life about to kick the bucket. Just like Nick did for me, I allowed Nick that space to let his guard down, to take off his mask and simply be. I rubbed his back as he sobbed into my hair, finally not ignoring everything that was happening. It wasn’t fair, truly it wasn’t. But such was life, as bitter of a bitch as she could be. My heart hurt for my friend, to see him so distraught, but I was at least glad to see him let it out instead of bottling it all up. We were both under pressure, in different ways maybe but stress was stress and between us we had a metric fuck ton of it. And, if I’d learned anything, it was that we needed to release that valve sometimes before we totally lost it. Thankfully, we both had people in our lives that were there for us, who supported us through these tough times. If that was the only thing that we were given to help us, it was enough to get us through. We just needed that space to breathe.

 

As his sobs calmed down into sniffles, I murmured, “I’m always here for you, Nate. You don’t ever have to wear a mask around me, okay? You need to vent, you need some support, I’m there for you.”

 

He squeezed me tight in an acknowledgement, reaching up to wipe his eyes as he still kept a comforting grip on me, looking back out toward the hazy sea. After several silent minutes passed, he said, “Lia, I want to you ask you something, and if you don’t feel comfortable with it, I want you to be honest and tell me.”

 

My curiousity was peaked as I tilted my head up to look at him. “What is it?”

 

Nate looked me in the eye as he asked, “Would you come with me to the Institute? Meet Shaun?”

 

I had to admit I was a bit taken aback at his request, as it seemed to come out of left field. But with how earnestly he was looking at me, I knew this was important to him. I wasn’t sure why, exactly, but if it was important to Nate that I accompany him to the Institute, then I would. Nodding, I replied, “Sure. If that’s what you want, I’ll go with you.”

 

He smiled as he hugged me tight one more time before releasing me and clapping a hand to my shoulder as we made our way back down from the wall and into the Castle, aiming for his room. Though Nate and I had definitely been friends before, even what I would have considered close, in that moment something very intimate had passed between us that left both of us feeling like actual family. In this wasteland, that was pretty much as good as, and with what we had ahead of us, we needed all of the support we could get.


	20. The humanity behind the circuitry

_Let's face all our fears,_

_Come out of the shade,_

_Let's burn all the money, absolve all the lies,_

_And wake up unscathed ..._

 

_~~ "Something human", Muse_

 

 

\-----------

 

I knew that Nick wasn’t going to be that happy about the idea of me accompanying Nate in the Institute, and he was definitely hard to convince that this was a good idea. I understood he was just concerned about safety, considering how we were trying to bring them down, but I wasn’t even there to do any spy work or recon or anything like that. If I was, then obviously it would be extremely risky and then I would want to side with Nick. I wouldn’t want to be taken out of commission by being stuck or imprisoned in some way in the bowels of the Institute. But this … this was strictly a social visit for once. And so, with great reluctance, he sighed heavily and simply said, “Just be careful in there, doll.”

 

Smiling, I leaned up to give him a kiss. “Of course.”

 

We were due to relay in the morning, and so I took the opportunity that night to bathe. No use in arriving in need of a shower, though I secretly hoped I could take advantage of that at some point. I hadn’t bathed with warm water since I arrived in the Commonwealth, and the thought of that particular indulgence was well worth just about any price at this point. As I scrubbed down with water that felt like it had been delivered from the polar ice caps, that thought alone helped. Of course, it was still a shock when I dunked my head under in order to wash my hair, and I just hoped I wouldn’t catch a cold off of this.

 

That night, I reached over and intertwined my fingers with Nick as I laid down in my sleep pack to sleep. Nate had mentioned we’d spend a full day there, if not longer, in the Institute, and so Nick and I were bound to spend at least one night apart. I didn’t really relish the thought of spending so much time away, but this was for Nate, and I couldn’t lie and say I wasn’t interested in visiting, and so this had to be done this way. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I could trust the Institute if we brought Nick there, I knew that during one part of the main questline, if one brought Nick when them to meet Shaun on the roof of the CIT building, that he would comment that he was glad that the player found use of him, indicating a possibly neutral stance on a long lost prototype. But I wasn’t about to take that risk, not with someone I loved, and so he had to stay behind. Nick admitted it would give him the chance to nip over to Diamond City and check in on his business, since he hadn’t checked in there in a while, and he would likely be back by the time Nate and I got back.

 

Dawn came bright and early, and I brushed through my hair and pulled on a standard Minuteman uniform in favour of my Vault suit. Though the form fitting bright blue suit was much more comfortable, it would raise too many questions about me, and the less questions the better. Instead, with the brown pants and long brown coat emblazoned with the Minutemen symbol, I looked much more the part of Major general than I typically did. I even threw on the blue scarf, a multi-use piece of clothing that a lot of Minutemen wore. All I really needed to complete the effect was a hat, but I wasn’t really a hat person, and so I left mine in my pack. Nick shot me a grin as I finished buttoning up my vest. “You know I love how you look in that Vault suit, but I don’t mind how you fill out that uniform at all.”

 

I smirked and blushed, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, slinking up beside him and sliding my hand in his. “You’ll have to show me how much you like it when I get back.”

 

Nick pulled me into a deep kiss, his metal hand slipping behind my head and holding me against him. As he pulled away, he murmured, “You got yourself a promise, sweetheart.”

 

Nate emerged from the kitchen, draining the rest of his cup of coffee. I’d just eaten some toast, too nervous for this whole venture to eat a proper meal but not wanting to go completely without. Toast was a good compromise. Setting down the cup, Nate rifled through his bag, pulling out an old microscope and a hot plate. He saw how I looked at him questioningly, raising an eyebrow, and he smiled sheepishly. “Shaun - uh, the synth one - he asked me if I could find these for him.”

 

I chuckled. “All a part of being a dad, huh?”

 

“Yeah. I didn’t really get much of a chance to be one before. In the grand scheme of things, six months is nothing. I just … I feel I gotta do this right.”

 

Setting a hand on his shoulder, I encouraged him with, “I think you’re doing great.”

 

He beamed at me before closing up his bag and standing up, grabbing a smaller one to carry the microscope and hot plate and requested samples he’d gathered in so he wasn’t just lugging around random junk. Once he’d shouldered it, he asked, “You ready?”

 

My heart trilled in my chest. “As I’ll ever be.”

 

Nodding, Nate accessed his Pip-Boy and started working with the dials. “Alright, hold tight to me, okay? Don’t let go until we materialise.”

 

I grabbed hold of his arm with an iron grip, nerves bubbling up in my stomach as I glanced toward Nick one last time. Our eyes locked as Nate finished up and pressed a button, and suddenly we were enveloped in white light.

 

The physical jolt was actually not as bad as what I’d been expecting. I mean, when someone’s dematerialising and rematerialising, it’s pretty logical to expect it to at least sting a little. And, maybe back when the Institute had newly developed the technology, it did. But I was surprised to find that, aside from some tingling and a little lingering dizziness, the relay left me otherwise unaffected. That was a welcome deviance from something I was sure was going to be at least partially unpleasant.

 

Now that we were firmly in the Institute, I let go of Nate’s arm, letting him take the lead as we walked out of the relay station. There were a few workers in the area, but they hardly paid us any mind. They might have taken a second glance at me, surprised to see Nate with someone who wasn’t already with the Institute, but no one remarked on it and we passed by them without being waylaid. Settling into the clear tube that would take us down into the Institute proper, my stomach did a little flip as there was that moment of weightlessness before we started descending. I spared a glance at Nate and he flashed me a reassuring smile, and I took a breath as I simply waited for the lift to completely descend.

 

One of the first things I noticed as we descended was the temperature. I had pretty much gotten used to experiencing an ambient chill no matter where I was - which necessitated the wearing of layers if I wasn’t wearing my Vault suit - but in the Institute it was positively _warm_. Not hot, thankfully, but I knew that I wouldn’t be wearing my coat and scarf for too long, and I’d probably roll up my sleeves as well. The second thing I noticed, almost immediately after the first, was the overall brightness of the environment. I had only been mostly afforded natural light in the Commonwealth, punctuated here and there by weak lamp light. But this was some high quality, LED level lighting that initially hurt my eyes as we descended. I closed my eyes and squinted and blinked, trying to get used to it, but I couldn’t escape the impression that everything now seemed to be in bright technicolour. Whereas in the Commonwealth, the palette was pretty drab - as one could expect following a nuclear apocalypse - here it was vibrant and colourful. It was strange, in a way, to see an environment like this, clean and neat and bright and radiant, serving as a sharp dissonance to the real world above our heads.

 

Stepping out of the lift, there was a very familiar figure standing there to greet us, one I had yet to meet, and I instantly felt shy in his quiet, intimidating presence. The courser had no such effect on Nate, who smiled and greeted him. “Nice to see you, X6.”

 

“Likewise,” the synth replied evenly. “I was notified that your relay signal was incoming, and also that it contained … a guest.” His head turned slightly to acknowledge me, though I couldn’t see his eyes behind those sunglasses. Surer than shit, the Fallout embodiment of Wesley Snipes’ Blade stood before me, looking directly at _me_ , and I swallowed hard and hoped my smile wasn’t too strained.

 

Nate put his hand on my shoulder as he introduced me. “This is Lia Bauer, Major general of the Minutemen and a very dear friend of mine.”

 

“Of course, I had momentarily forgotten you were a part of that group. Forgive me, but I must inquire as to her purpose here.”

 

I was getting nervous at this questioning, but Nate seemed completely unruffled. “I wanted her to meet Father. It was a personal request of mine. Shaun is the only real family I have left, and Lia is as good as. I wanted to give them a chance to meet before … well, I suppose you’ve heard.”

 

“I have,” X6 replied simply, looking me up and down. “As long as you are aware that she will not be allowed into any of the areas outside of the general and residential, then I suppose there shouldn’t be any problems. Make sure you keep an eye on her. I wouldn’t want there to be an … _incident_. I’m sure you can imagine how Justin Ayo would handle that.”

 

“Not a problem,” Nate assured.

 

“Very well, then.” X6 nodded curtly at us both as he bid us goodbye with, “Carry on.”

 

After that unnerving encounter, Shaun steered me toward a specific staircase. “We should be early enough to say good morning.”

 

“To who?” I asked.

 

“You’ll see,” he replied, leading me up the stairs and along a short corridor before opening a door emblazoned with his last name. I figured they must be his own quarters, but I didn’t put two and two together on who he was wanting to see right away until we entered and a child appeared around the corner.

 

“Hey, Dad!” he greeted, tamping down his brown hair in an effort to control the mess. His hair was a lighter colour than Nate’s, but his eyes were the same hazel-y brown. It was odd, in a way, seeing such a stark reminder of Nate’s potential life pre-war, but there it was.

 

“Hey,” Nate replied, reaching into his sack. “I picked up those things you wanted.”

 

“Really? Cool! I’ll have to work on them later, after I get out of school.”

 

“I’ll leave them here for you,” Nate said as he set them down on the table.

 

“Thanks, you’re the best,” the synth Shaun replied, his eyes flashing as he smiled widely. Glancing over at me, he asked, “Who’s this?”

 

“You remember when I told you I was General of the Minutemen?” Shaun nodded and Nate continued, “Well this is my Major general. Her name’s Lia, and she’s a really good friend of mine.”

 

“A friend, huh?” Shaun said, chuckling as he teased Nate.

 

“Not like _that_ ,” Nate began, but it was too late to dispel the notion.

 

“Sure, whatever you say, Dad. Anyway, I gotta run or I’m gonna be late. Will I see you later?”

 

“Yep. I’m here until tomorrow, at least.”

 

“Awesome! Well, see ya!” And with that, he grabbed a stack of books sitting on top of a cabinet and ran out the door.

 

Shaking his head and laughing softly, Nate commented, “Well, there’s a complication I didn’t anticipate. I didn’t think anyone would assume that we’re … you know … _together_.”

 

I shrugged. “Well, why deny it?” With that confused look he shot me, I explained, “Hear me out. So it’s not something we thought would happen, but is it necessarily a bad thing? If we deny it, then that could potentially open up more avenues for questions about why I’m here and who I am. If we let people draw that natural conclusion, they don’t have a reason to go prodding any further, do they? So let them.”

 

Sighing, Nate relented. “Only if you’re comfortable with it. I just … I don’t know, it feels weird. Like pretending to date my sister.”

 

I laughed. “Well, we can be one of those hands off couples that show little physical affection, right? It’s not like we have to be all lovey dovey and fawn over each other and snog in the atrium to sell it.”

 

Laughing, he commented, “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

 

After a small lull in the conversation, during which I took the opportunity to slide off my jacket and loosen my scarf, I asked, “So … Shaun went ahead and gave you the synth kid?”

 

Nate nodded. “Reprogrammed him with his own memories up to age 10 and everything. It’s incredible. And it makes me more determined than ever.” Sighing, he continued, “Don’t get me wrong, I love my real son as much now as I did when he was born. But seeing who he’s grown into, the person he’s become without my guiding hand … I can’t allow my second chance to grow into that. There was so much I wanted to teach him, so much I wanted to instil in him, and these bastards here perverted everything I wanted him to be.” I laid my hand on his shoulder in assurance, and he tossed me a small smile. “I’m just glad I get a second chance at all.”

 

“And you’ll do great, I know you will.”

 

He encased me in a tight hug as he murmured his thanks. After we parted, he said, “I have a few things to take care of, will you be okay here?”

 

I assured him I would, and sent him on his way, leaving me in his quarters alone. It wasn’t anything major, really, some checking in, handing over of samples, and also a little mission of his own to complete. He hadn’t done the whole frame up of Justin Ayo yet, so the staunch anti-synth rights scientist still headed the SRB. Taking him out, however, gave us the opportunity to install Alan Binet in his stead - bypassing Alana Secord - and Alan was much more accommodating to synths and their rights as sentient beings. In the meantime, I got to hang out, and while Nate gave me a second warning of wandering where I wasn’t supposed to and I knew well and good what areas I would be fine to go in, I still felt a little leery of wandering too far. Instead, I spent the rest of the morning in Nate’s room, lounging and relaxing, reading some books that had been left, either for Nate or for synth Shaun I wasn’t sure. As a bit of a history geek, I devoured those particular ones, though I had to wonder in the back of my head how much was true and how much was revisionist. The Institute was well-known for glossing over or outright omitting facts when it came to certain facets of its history, and no doubt I was sure they had no qualms with general history as well. So I kept all of that in mind and simply viewed it as an entertaining story, and it helped my morning pass smoothly. Indeed, it had been ages since I had been able to simply sit and read a good book, not reports from various Minutemen or requests from settlements, but just real, honest to god, reading just for reading’s sake. It was quite lovely.

 

Nate returned sometime around noon to pick me up and treat me at the cafeteria the Institute ran. I wasn’t sure how the food here really was, though I figured it couldn’t be worse than some of the fare I’d had on the surface, and so we both ordered a standard lunch and ate in. Surprisingly, it was actually very good, and I had no trouble eating my fill. Besides a large helping of rice, there was what appeared to be stewed meat with a hearty sauce and some assorted vegetables. _Good to know that science isn’t the only thing they’re good at down here_. It made me wonder how much better the food could be made top side with only a little help from the Institute. Outside of a few offerings - mostly from Mama Murphy - most meals were eaten to survive, not because they were particularly tasty. But for once, I actually felt like I enjoyed the food, that mealtime wasn’t just a chore. I had completely forgotten what that was like. I was sure that a lot of people in the wasteland had never experienced it at all. _Talk about a sure fire way to boost morale_. I had never begrudged Nate for spending time in the Institute, with Shaun, but now I did so even less. If anything, I pitied him, having to come out of this warm, clean, bright environment with hot water and tasty food and back into the chilly, bland stretch of the Commonwealth. It was truly a testament to his character, that he did so willingly, instead of just holing up in the Institute and siding with them for the sake of these little conveniences, the ones that mirrored his pre-war life so closely. Life may not have been miserable, exactly, for most people, but it was like a camping trip one never came home from. And no matter how much someone might like camping, ya gotta go home sometime. There just was no home to return to here, it _was_ home. But it was a home that Nate - and I - chose willingly, it was a home we would do anything for to protect. Knowing that so many people were going without conveniences like this, it only spurred us on, gave us motivation to continue instead of giving up.

 

All in all, my time in the Institute was going along quite swimmingly. I should have known there would be a hiccup at some point. As I went to stand, not looking behind me, I ran into a gen 2 who was carrying a stack of food trays for cleaning. Uneaten food and leftover sauce spilled over my shoulder and down my shirt, mingling in my hair and dripping down my arm. And of course the loud clatter of trays alerted everyone in the area that something had happened. _Great, just great._ I instinctively stooped to help gather up the trays I had dropped when there was the unmistakable sound of loud, angry footsteps.

 

“Great, _you_ again?” the Institute worker growled, face red and spittle flying. “What excuse is it this time? There’s not a defective cleaning unit for you to blame. Should I go ahead and have you decommissioned?”

 

Working in retail, I knew full well this type of person, and as I stood with a stack of trays, I spoke with authority. “Excuse me, but it was my fault. I wasn’t watching when I got up and I bumped into him.”

 

This man was having none of it. “Don’t take up for him, sweetie, this unit has been having trouble for years, it’s about time he’s just scrapped for parts.”

 

_Did he just call me sweetie? Oh hell no …_ My tone took on a bit more of a sharp edge as I replied calmly, “Pardon me, but I’m not your _sweetie_ , I’m just telling the truth. There’s no need to scrap a perfectly functioning unit because someone bumped into them.”

 

His eyebrow twitched and if possible his face grew even redder. Snorting, he snipped, “Suppose I should expect that from someone helping a synth clean up. Goddamn sympathizers, you guys grow bolder every day.”

 

My eyes narrowed and I swear I wanted to strangle the guy. Yeah, he was exactly like some of the patrons that visited my shop. Fortunately, I was store manager and able to wield some leverage over them. I used that to back up my employees against the onslaught of ridiculousness and rudeness, but it was still annoying to deal with. “It costs nothing to be a _decent_ human being, a lesson you obviously skipped.”

 

Frowning, he crossed his arms as he barked, “Who’s your supervisor? I’m going to report you immediately. Insubordination, rudeness, out of uniform … need I go on?”

 

It was at this point Nate stood up and circled round the table, a little bit of mirth hidden in his eyes that I picked up on. “Actually, sir, she’s with _me_.” Nate rested his hands on his hips, making no motion to hide the bright blue Vaultsuit he wore. Everyone knew only one person in the entire Institute wore a Vaultsuit, and that was Father’s actual father, the one appointed to succeed him. It was fantastic to see the man’s face go from bright, purplish red to sheet white. Stammering nonsense, he turned heel and stalked off, disappearing around the corner. As soon as he did so, Nate let out a chuckle. “Miserable bastard. I’ve run into him before and I swear he’s insufferable, even if I’m not dealing with him directly.”

 

Before I could even say anything, the gen 2 that I’d assisted stepped forward, taking the trays that I’d gathered. “Thank you for your assistance, ma’am, but it is unnecessary.” Turning to Nate, he asked, “Is she staying in your quarters?” Nate confirmed I was and the gen 2 nodded. “I will bring up something for her to change into while her clothes are laundered.”

 

“Uh, you don’t have to do that,” I interjected. I’d never considered anyone having to clean my clothes, figuring that I’d just give them a wash once I returned to the surface.

 

But the gen 2 was having none of it. “Nonsense, we can’t have a guest of ours walking around in stained clothes. I will send a unit up shortly for your soiled clothing.”

 

I glanced at Nate, hoping that maybe he would back me up in some way, but he only shrugged. “Guess you get to take a shower sooner than you thought.”

 

Well, I supposed that wasn’t a bad thing. The idea of a hot shower had been one of the perks of taking Nate up on his offer to bring me here, so I wasn’t going to say no. He lead me back up to his quarters and gave me a towel and some shampoo - actual shampoo! - and soap and let me have at it after a short demonstration on how to work the unit. Letting the water heat up, I quickly stripped and folded my dirty clothing and tucked them outside the bathroom door before I hopped in and closed the glass doors around me. I audibly moaned as the warm water coursed over me, and I spent a good little bit of time just standing there under it. Fuck but it felt downright _heavenly_. That was really the only way to describe it. After weeks of taking cold baths, spending just enough time bathing as was necessary, it felt foreign to actually enjoy it for once. I took my sweet ass time lathering up my hair and scrubbing down my body, leaving my skin bright pink when I finally stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I was in the middle of brushing out of my hair when there was a knock at the door. “Yes?”

 

“Hey, they brought up a couple of jumpsuits for you, I guess they weren’t sure what size to grab so you have a choice. I gotta run down and finish that thing with Ayo, so take your time. I left them on the bed in my room.”

 

Sure enough, when I emerged from the bathroom, Nate was gone and there were a couple of white Institute jumpsuits lying on the edge of the bed, both of them meticulously folded. The first one I picked up _technically_ fit me, but it was so roomy it was akin to a fancy onesie. Except it wasn’t designed like a onesie and so it just looked sloppy. Which was fine by me for lounging, but if I was going to be meeting Shaun, _the_ Shaun, I didn’t think it really appropriate. The second one fit me a little too well, hugging every curve and, just like my Vaultsuit, necessitated zipping it down in order to accommodate my boobs. _Holy hell, did Vault-tec survive to design these things? Does nobody understand human body proportions? Am I going to be forever cursed with cleavage?_ I wasn’t sure how that really equated out, since I wasn’t even particularly voluptuous, but here we were. But it was just as comfortable as my Vaultsuit, so I figured it was ultimately a win. Later, I learned that most people in the Institute had theirs custom made, so it seemed that when it came to standard sizing, I just drew the short end of the stick. Lucky me.

 

Nate arrived back at his quarters just before synth Shaun, and the latter cleaned himself up as he prepared for dinner. It seemed that the real Shaun was expecting all of us to join him, and I was suddenly nervous as we made our way over to the director’s quarters. Nate walked in with zero hesitation, and synth Shaun followed right behind him, and so it was that I entered Father’s private quarters, intending on having a meal with one of my enemies, the leader of the Institute.

 

The real Shaun was just as quiet and unassuming as he was when the player character meets him in game, with a naturally calm aura surrounding him. He greeted Nate with a hug and ruffled little Shaun’s hair, the child synth mumbling, “Hi, Grandpa” as he fixed his mussed hair.

 

Shaun then turned his attention to me. “Ah, and this is the guest you brought with you, is it?”

 

“Yes,” Nate replied, settling an arm on my shoulder. “This is my Major general and close, personal friend, Lia Bauer.”

 

“Lia,” Shaun repeated, extending a hand to shake. “A pleasure. I’m Shaun, though most here in the Institute call me Father.”

 

I shook his hand as I asked, hoping my voice didn’t shake, “And which do you want me to call you?”

 

He smiled. “For such a close, personal friend of my father’s … Shaun is fine.”

 

We gathered around the set table, covered trays already delegated to where we would all be sitting, and a gen 2 came and removed the lids as we sat, Father Shaun at the head of the table, Nate to his right, synth Shaun across from Nate, and myself to Nate’s right. It certainly smelled delicious, and my nose did not deceive me as we tucked in. It _was_ delicious. The meat was grilled to perfection, just right, juicy and tender and well seasoned. The vegetables, likewise, were treated to some wonderful, buttery dressing, and the bread was light and airy and slightly sweet. I wasn’t sure I’d ever had such a meal before in my entire life.

 

“So,” Shaun began, cutting at his meat as he spoke, “how did you two meet?”

 

Nate took point for me, and I was thankful because this whole situation was wholly intimidating for me. I bore it because it was what Nate wanted, what he seemed to _need_ , but that didn’t make the social anxiety any easier. “Well, she was actually the first person I met after I woke up. I got out of the Vault and headed down to the old sub-division I lived in, and there she was, trying to flag down some help for a group of settlers pinned down by some raiders. I helped them out, they inducted me into the Minutemen, and we’ve been working together ever since.”

 

“Hmm. Interesting. It certainly seems you work well together.”

 

Nate nodded. “Sure do. In fact, when we retook the Castle, we used her plan of attack to take out the mirelurks and kill off the queen.”

 

“Really?” Shaun asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise. Turning to me, he smirked as he asked, “So, he’s the brawn and you’re the brains?”

 

I chuckled, trying to seem relaxed. “I suppose you could say that.” Nate playfully nudged me and shot me a grin, and just like that, the awkward air seemed to dissipate. Just like most things since I’d entered the Institute, it was strange. Sitting there with a sworn enemy, eating a meal together and conversing like everything was peachy. I suppressed the shiver of disgust that ran through me to know I sat with the man who ran the same organisation who tortured the man that I loved, leading his brother to desperate measures to save him, ultimately having to abandon him in the wasteland after Nick became unstable and attacked him. There was a cold rage that settled in the pit of my stomach, and while the meal was wonderful and tasty, once I ate it all, it sat in my gut like a rock. Just the knowledge that I sat face to face with the leader of the boogeyman of the Commonwealth, and we did nothing more than talk and share a meal, it made my skin want to crawl, no matter who this was to Nate. I hoped we wouldn’t be staying overly long, as I wasn’t sure I could take it, and to my great relief, after we finished, Shaun leaned forward on the table, breathing a little heavier than normal.

 

“Shaun? Are you okay?” Nate asked, worry clearly colouring his voice as he reached out to his son.

 

Shaun smiled and patted his father on the shoulder. “I’m fine. I think I just overdid it today. Nothing to worry about.”

 

Nate and I helped him up and got him to a chair, and a stab of regret ran through me. No matter how I felt about him or the organisation he ran, Shaun was still Nate’s son, and underneath the layers and the boogeyman facade, there was just a man … a man who’d been torn away from his parents as a baby, poked and prodded and then ultimately raised completely separate from them. He couldn’t help the circumstances of his life, and while he was an adult and had to accept any and all consequences for his actions, that didn’t change the fact that this Shaun, this person, was wholly different than he should have been. Knowing what I did of Nate, of his beliefs and convictions, Shaun would have never enslaved synths the way he was, or worked subterfuge throughout the Commonwealth in order to make sure it stayed destabilised. If only Nate and Nora had been given a chance to raise him theirselves, if the Institute had simply taken all of them in, then maybe things would be different for the whole Commonwealth.

 

But they didn’t. Instead, they simply took Shaun, and Kellogg shot Nora, setting into motion the events that lead up to where we were now. It was simply the way it was, and the only thing we could do is work with that.

 

Shaun started coughing, and when he pulled back his hand there was a splattering of blood. Upon seeing it, Nate blanched, looking to me as he said, “I’ll go get Dr. Volkert. Can you stay here with him?”

 

There was no other answer. I nodded, “Of course. Go.”

 

Nate took synth Shaun with him, leaving me all alone with Father. Spying a box of tissues on the table, I grabbed a few and wiped his hand of blood, removing the few speckles around his mouth. There was no use for it, I was in full on mamma hen mode, and it seemingly didn’t matter who it was that needed my help, I was damn sure going to offer it.

 

“You have a gentle touch,” Shaun noted, his voice startling me a bit.

 

“Oh. Uh, thank you,” I replied, wadding up the tissues and tossing them in a nearby wastebasket.

 

Shaun set a hand on top of mine, where it rested on the arm of the chair, and I looked back to see him looking at me intently. “Listen,” he began, “no matter what happens, no matter if this relationship with my father goes any further or not, I want you to know that I truly appreciate you standing by him. I’m glad to know he has a good friend he can lean on. Especially with …” He was cut off by another coughing fit, and I immediately reached over and grabbed some more tissues for him, which he gladly took to cough into. Nate appeared with Volkert, who shooed us out with the promise to follow up with us and with the assurance that he could take it from there. As Nate and I made our way over to his quarters, where synth Shaun was waiting for us, I laid my hand on his shoulder to let him know I was there, just as I had been from the beginning, just as I always would for him.


	21. Saying Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand we have officially passed 100k words! This is the longest story I've ever worked on, and we still have a good bit to go. A huge thanks to my readers who have helped get me to this point. :)

_The things we hold_

_Are always first to go ..._

 

_~~ "Broken Wings", Alter Bridge_

 

 

\-----------

 

Nate was a nervous mess, pacing ceaselessly in his quarters. He’d sit down for maybe a minute or two and then he’d get right back up, pacing again. He had sent synth Shaun to bed, citing his need for school tomorrow, and after some typical whining, little Shaun had relented, slinking off to the bathroom to brush his teeth and ready for bed. I think, despite his childish resistance to bedtime, he sensed that something was off. Nate had hustled him out of the room so quickly, I didn’t think he’d even had a chance to see the blood on his progenitor’s hand or to understand exactly what was going on. Once he came out of the bathroom, he hugged Nate tightly and mumbled, “Night, Dad.”

 

Nate held on extra tight for a moment as he returned the sentiment. “Goodnight, Shaun.”

 

Before he retired to his room, Shaun paused and looked up at me. “Night, Lia.”

 

Smiling, I reached out and ruffled his hair. “Night, Shaun. Sleep well.”

 

With the kid off to bed, there really was nothing to do but sit around and wait for the doctor to get back with us. Nate kept up his pacing, while I took a seat on the couch, knowing there was nothing I could really say to him right now, we had to wait until we got any news in order to know how to process it. I couldn’t lie, I felt a little sick to my stomach, but not because of my reasons before. Something about meeting Shaun, about seeing the man behind the curtain, it had pierced through me and brought me to a sort of understanding. It was as close as I would ever get to reconciliation with the head of the organisation who did what they did to my precious Nick. The way he’d looked at me, settled his hand on mine, declared his trust in me … I was surprised to find myself feeling bad for him. Of course, this whole time, I’d been feeling bad for Nate, supporting him as he went through these stages of grief over and over, but I had never once actually felt for the son he was losing. Now, though … somehow, it was different.

 

A soft knock sounded on the door, and Nate flipped the switch to open it, revealing Dr. Volkert. He let him in, closing the door behind him, and finally settled with me on the couch as the doctor pulled up a chair. “How is he?” Nate asked, the barest hint of a tremor in his voice.

 

The doctor sighed. “It’s not good. His condition has started to deteriorate even quicker than I’d thought. I’ve stabilised him for now, but there’s not much I can do. Per his wishes, he wants no life-saving measures taken, no resuscitations should it come to it. He’s strictly on palliative care only.”

 

Nate nodded, processing everything he was saying. He swallowed thickly as he asked, “How long?”

 

“At this point? Days, if he’s lucky.”

 

The way Nate hung his head and clenched his fist, it was clear the news broke him. I reached out and rubbed his back, reassuring him I was here. This was the very thing I had told him would happen, the thing he had spent weeks mentally preparing himself for. But now that it was here, it appeared to be a whole different animal. Despite the awkwardness of certain events, despite my discomfort in some things, I was glad Nate had brought me with him. I hated to think what he would have done should he have to face this all alone.

 

Clearing his throat, Dr. Volkert leaned forward and put his hand on Nate’s knee. “Get some rest for tonight, he’ll hold on for at least a day or two yet. I have my associates monitoring him 24/7 and if his condition changes at all, we will notify you immediately.”

 

Nodding, he simply replied with a, “Thanks, doc.”

 

What more was there to say? Dean Volkert wasn’t one to mince words, if he said Shaun’s death was imminent, then it was happening now. A not so small trill ran through my body, the knowledge that one of the most important events that had been planned for was about to happen, that we were on the cusp of this significant happening, that everything we’d been working for so hard for so long was about to go into overdrive. Because once Shaun bit it, that was it. No more holding patterns, no more waiting. Once Nate secured the Institute, stabilised it after he took the helm, quietly filled the higher ranks with sympathetic scientists, then we had to move decisively against the Brotherhood. How we were going to handle Arthur and his men and how they would respond, I still wasn’t quite sure, but we were going to have to hammer down the details pretty damn soon. After that, then we’d have to take care of Nuka World, fix the issues the Mechanist presented, maybe even make contact with Vault 88. After that, it would be one of the more ambitious things we had to take care of, and one of the things I was perhaps most looking forward to, which was going to Far Harbour and making contact with DiMA at Acadia. I couldn’t explain it, but aside from Nick, I felt innately drawn to DiMA and his little synth paradise that he’d created. I just felt like we all belonged together, Nick and DiMa and I, along with all the synths that had gathered at Acadia, the ones running from the Institute or just looking for some safe haven, to just be who they were with no risk or fear of judgement. Maybe it was DiMA’s calming presence, but I just felt that Nick needed that connection with him, needed that chance at a relationship. They both deserved it, from what I figured, and I wanted so badly to give that back to them, that thing that they didn’t truly realise they were missing.

 

First things first, though. At the moment, in the here and now, we had to get over this hump and we had to get over it together. As the doctor left us alone, silence hung heavy in Nate’s Institute quarters. My palm drew soft, slow circles on his back as I murmured, “C’mon, let’s get to bed.”

 

Nate didn’t protest, only saying, “I’ll sleep out here so you can have the bed.”

 

“Oh no, I’m not taking your bed.”

 

“Lia, Nick will have my head if I make you sleep on the couch.”

 

“Well tough titty, I’m not taking your bed from you.”

 

He snorted at what must have seemed a strange obscenity before he pulled in a long breath and sighed. “I suppose the bed is large enough, we can share if you aren’t opposed to that.”

 

I thought for a moment, and while I’d never given a thought to sharing a bed with anyone other than Nick, this was Nate we were talking about. Strong, dependable, trustworthy, reliable Nate, who never asked for much and instead just worked his ass off for other people, taking whatever he was given in terms of reward. He was a dear friend, one who was hurting, and if anything I figured it would be best to not leave him alone. Situations like these, the ones that were depressing as hell, they were hard enough to process and live with when the lights were on and people were around. But at night, when it was dark and there wasn’t a soul around for comfort, the walls tended to close in and make things even more unbearable. And so, I nodded and replied with, “Sure, we can do that.”

 

We parted to prepare for bed, Nate retreating to his room and I grabbing my pack and heading to the bathroom. I dug around and pulled out the tank and grey sweats that I had brought with me to sleep in, unbelievably thankful that I didn’t bring anything silky or lacy. I hadn’t figured on a private place to sleep, and my intuition had paid off. As much as I wanted to comfort Nate and not put him out, doing so in fancy lingerie, things that likely had belonged to his late wife, that was just in poor taste. I ran through a quick routine as I shoved the Institute jumpsuit in my pack and shut off the light, exiting just in time as Nate emerged from his room, dressed in a plain white shirt and pale blue lounge pants that looked like they were Institute standard. We passed like ships in the night, and I stashed my pack beside the bed as I waited, not wanting to claim a side that he was set on, my eyes instead roaming the space. It was fairly spartan, as most rooms were to some extent in the Institute, but somehow it seemed even more so. Maybe it was the fact that Nate didn’t plan on putting down actual roots, maybe it was because he didn’t get much of a chance to spend time in these quarters, but whatever the reason it was completely devoid of personality and personal touch. No pictures, no knick knacks, no plants or rugs or wall hangings or anything to denote that a person lived there. Perhaps Nate just wasn’t a decorator, but it certainly spoke to his efficiency. Get in, do what he needed to, get out. No need to hang around and imbue a space with his essence if he knew he wouldn’t be staying there long. Even once he became Director and had to stay more and more, he would be given the Director’s quarters and these would be decommissioned and given to someone else at some point, or else possibly just used for storage.

 

When Nate came back from the bathroom, I let him crawl into the bed before I switched off the light and got in after him. The way we settled down, we were facing each other, with a nice little bit of space between us to boot. Nate hadn’t been fudging it when he said the bed was more than big enough for the both of us. It didn’t seem like a standard issue bed to me, but I wondered if that was one of the perks of being the father of the Director and also the impending next Director. Like it was some weird consolation prize, like ... hey, sorry your son is old and dying, but here’s an extra large bed!

 

Nate was silent, but I knew he wasn’t asleep. There was a small bit of ambient light coming from somewhere, and it shone off of his eyes. He sniffed and I realised he was crying and trying to be subtle about it. Reaching across the space between us, I searched blinding in the dark until I found his hand and grasped it, squeezing to let him know I was there. He squeezed back, murmuring, “Thank you.” It was barely audible, just above a whisper, but it almost seemed to echo in the space.

 

“You don’t have to thank me for being here,” I replied, just as softly.

 

“I just know I’m not that great of a company to be around right now.”

 

I rolled my eyes in the darkness, wanting to shake him and tell him that his son _dying_ meant that he could be as melancholy and morose and he wanted to be. Hell, he could go full on goth and start writing depressing poetry and metaphorical literature about ravens and beating hearts and I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash at him. Instead, I simply replied, “Nate, considering the circumstances, I wouldn’t expect you to be. But that’s what friends do, they stick with you when you aren’t at your best, not because of your excellent company, but because you _need_ them.”

 

He was silent, but he squeezed my hand once more, and I could tell from the lack of reflection that he’d closed his eyes, so I followed suit. I kept my hand on his and he made no motion to move, and so we slept like that, facing each other, holding hands. It was a far cry from Nick and I, even when we were at the Castle, as the way we invaded each other’s space was intimate. This was a whole different kind of intimacy, the kind of vulnerability shared between close friends. It wasn’t anywhere close to what Nick and I shared, but it was nice in a way, and I believed Nate needed it. The last thing he needed right now was to be alone, alone with his thoughts and the knowledge that once he son kicked it, he was the last human remnant of his family. Solitude could be nice, even necessary sometimes, but not in these circumstances. And I, as his closest friend since he’d woken up in this wasteland, was up for the job.

 

The next morning, after we dressed and bid synth Shaun goodbye for school and grabbed a quick breakfast from the cafeteria, Nate finally spoke more than a couple of words at a time. Sitting on his couch, he looked at me square in the face as he said, “Lia, I need to talk to you.”

 

Nodding, I took a seat in a chair near the end of the couch that he was occupying. “Sure, what is it?”

 

He took a deep breath, like he was preparing himself mentally, getting all his thought ducks in a row, in the most desirable order before he began. Finally, he said, “I want to delay returning to the surface.” I had to admit, I wasn’t wholly surprised at this, with the recent developments with Shaun’s health, but Nate continued as if he expected me to protest. “Now hear me out. I wasn’t planning on staying more than 24 hours, but with what happened with Shaun, I ... I can’t return. Not now. If I do, he could die on me while I’m up there, and I know I couldn’t handle that. If ...” he chewed on his lip a moment before he continued, “... if you want to return on your own, I’ll escort you up to the relay and send you back.”

 

I could sense the unasked question hanging in the air. “Do you want me to stay with you?”

 

He looked down, closing his eyes and nodding. “Yes.”

 

Laying my hand on his knee, I replied, “Then I’ll stay.”

 

Nate looked back up at me as he asked, “Are you sure? I don’t want to force you to stay. I know you probably didn’t want to leave Nick behind, and this means you’ll spend even more time away from him than you thought. I don’t want you to regret saying yes to this.”

  
“I’m sure. Nick will understand. Right now, you need me, and so I’m staying.”

 

He clenched his jaw as if to stem the tide of tears. “Thank you.” He paused a moment before he added, “If you change your mind, though, at any point ...”

 

“I won’t.”

 

And that was that. I was by his side for this and there wasn’t anything in the world that could convince me to leave him at this juncture. Even though I would miss Nick even more, not knowing when I would see him next, but there were certain things that were more important. And sticking by a friend whose son was dying, that was definitely more important.

 

After our talk, we made our way up to the Director’s quarters, where Shaun was currently resting. Nate wasn’t about to waste these precious few moments he had left with his son, and I wasn’t going to tell him no. True to Volkert’s word, there was a doctor there, taking his vitals and monitoring him closely. Shaun smiled weakly when we entered, and Nate immediately went to his side, where he belonged. These were the last days father and son would spend together, and while it involved someone I instinctively disliked, I was incredibly humbled that I was allowed into their circle. Indeed, aside from mealtimes, we spent all of our time by Shaun’s side. Even little Shaun joined us, sprawling on the floor on his stomach as he did his homework. It was, dare I say it ... it was almost like we were a family of sorts. A weird, twisted amalgamation of a family, but a family nonetheless. For the next couple of days, our routine stayed the same: in the morning, after seeing little Shaun off to school, Nate and I would go in and sit with Shaun, either talking with him and spending time with him or just letting him rest as we watched over him. We’d grab something quick from the cafeteria for lunch, and after school let out, little Shaun would join us. We’d have a quick dinner, and send little Shaun back to our quarters as we spent some of the evening with Father. It was heart-wrenching, watching Shaun die, seeing Nate slowly lose his son. The hours and the days just melded together as we waited for the inevitable.

 

One evening, as we gathered in the Director’s quarters after dinner, Shaun woke up from a nap, his eyes searching the room as he sought out his father. As he saw Nate, he smiled and reached out his hand, as weakly as he could manage, and Nate met his hand with his own. When he spoke, his voice was soft and strained, but he made the effort, as if what he was saying he considered important. “I want to say ... I’ve made many mistakes over my lifetime. But one thing I know I’ve done right is activating that cryo pod and setting you free. If anything, I wish I had done it sooner. I feel like I can rest easy, knowing the Institute is in good hands between you two.” He then cast his gaze towards me as he added, “Take care of Nate for me, will you?”

 

I nodded, whispering, “Of course.” This was it, then? It felt like it was it. Shaun’s eyes drifted closed, but the monitoring machines stayed beeping steadily, like he had fallen asleep.

 

Nate kept hold of Shaun’s hand as he said softly, “Shaun?” As if that alone called him, Shaun’s eyes fluttered open for a moment and Nate grabbed his opportunity. “Shaun, I ... I love you, son.”

 

The corners of his mouth tugged upwards in another smile as he struggled to get out. “I love you, too ... father ...” And with that, his eyes fluttered closed again, and while he was white as a sheet, the machines beeped on, indicating that he hadn’t passed just yet.

 

I stepped forward and settled a hand on Nate’s shoulder as we stood there, Volkert himself making an appearance to monitor him. Shaking his head, the doctor noted, “It won’t be long, now.”

 

Nate turned to me and said, “If you want to go to bed, go ahead. I’m going to stay here.”

 

Shaking my head, I replied, “No. I’m staying with you.”

 

He wrapped his other arm around me in a tight hug, murmuring into my hair, “Thank you.”

 

I simply squeezed him back in response. Volkert had replaced his assistant, and I took that as a sign that the end was truly nigh.He seemed to be the type to want to observe things at the very last, the very end. I hadn’t really had a chance to talk with him, and while he didn’t seem that much older than Shaun - maybe ten years at most - I had to wonder their personal history. Had they grown up together? Become friends at a young age? If they were more than just patient and doctor, I couldn’t imagine how difficult it was for him, too, to see a friend dying the way Shaun was. To have all of this technology and research at his fingertips and know that none of it did any good. Nate and I simply stood there as Volkert kept watch over Shaun’s vitals, nobody really moving as a distinct, pervasive knocking sound subtly started and grew. For a moment, when it first started, I wasn’t sure what it was, and I was about to ask when it suddenly hit me.

 

It was a death rattle.

 

Nate seemed to know it, too, as he clung to me like I was the only thing anchoring him as the night wore on. The process of keeping watch over a dying person was as dull as it was nerve-wracking, always jumping at every little sound, wondering if the end was really close or if it was a ways off, yet. I was exhausted, between keeping watch during the day and comforting Nate during the night lately, and I swore I dozed on my feet. I’d never leave, but I wondered if I should try to procure some coffee or something, reckoning even I could withstand the bitter taste of non-sweetened brew if it meant that it would help me stay awake, especially as we passed the midnight hour.

 

Shaun never regained consciousness, and around the witching hour, the machines monitoring him started alarming. His heart rate was getting more and more irregular, but Dr. Volkert was bound by Shaun’s wishes for no intervention, and so he simply watched, just as we did. They finally let out one loud, long alarm as Shaun flatlined, and Nate turned away and slung his other arm around me as Volkert pronounced time of death and turned off the machine.

 

That was it. Shaun was gone. Nate was now officially Director.

 

We stayed with the body for a little while longer as Volkert disconnected all the machines, but when it came time to prep the body, he shooed us out, imploring us to get as much rest as we could. Nate would need to officially take over Director duties the next day, and while I worried he wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep at all, he was exhausted and fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. I suppose, now that the inevitable had finally happened, there was some sort of relief that could be found now. It was over. Nate could now properly grieve the loss. We could all move on. Everything that we had planned for and worked towards could now really be put in motion. Our biggest hurdle had finally been cleared. We were in the end game now, at least as far as the general well-being of the Commonwealth went. Our patient waiting was going to pay off.

 

We got about five hours of sleep, give or take, when there was a knock at the door. Nate got up to answer it, and I blearily followed him, leaning against the bedroom door as I saw Allie Filmore standing there. “I’m sorry to disturb you,” she said. “I know it was a late night for you, and you have my condolences. But I thought you’d want to know that we’re planning a short ceremony before the body is put in the incinerator and we’d like you to speak, as his father and as new Director. As your ... introduction of sorts.”

 

Nate nodded. “What time?”

 

“It’s not until 13:00, but we wanted to give you some time to prepare.”

 

Since we were up, we figured might as well start the day. Little Shaun had already left for school, and he was smart enough that he’d probably put two and two together and gotten four. After Nate and I grabbed some breakfast from the cafeteria - which was a feat in and of itself, since word had spread quickly and it seemed everyone wanted to offer their condolences - Nate got to work on what he wanted to say. I helped him, giving him suggestions on what he might want to say, to convey for the future of the Institute and such. But as I told him, he should speak from his heart, say what he wanted to in regards to Shaun. Be honest. And Nate took that to heart.

 

It was a good thing he took the morning to work on his eulogy speech, because when we took a break for lunch, we were once again inundated with consolations, even more so than we were at breakfast. I suppose that even more people were up and at em and had received the news. We ended up barely having the time to retreat to Nate’s old quarters to freshen up before a gen 2 arrived to escort us to where this little ceremony was taking place. Of course, much of the Institute still had to run, the whole place couldn’t just shut down. But department heads were there, some important people in the workings of the Institute. And it seemed they had a PA system of sorts set up so that Nate could speak and everyone who wasn’t in attendance could hear him. In the centre of the room, on a conveyor belt, was a box that held Shaun’s body, closed and ready to roll into the incinerator ahead of us. It may have seemed like an odd solution for some, but really there was no place we could _bury_ him, so this was the only option. It was poetic, in a way, since the incinerator fed into the energy grid that powered the Institute, so in the final act of Shaun’s life, he contributed to the organisation that he’d run for so long. After a few comments from a couple of different people who had known or been involved in Shaun’s life, Nate was finally given the chance to speak. So he cleared his throat and stepped up to the microphone, ready to address the whole of the Institute itself.

 

“In the early hours of this morning, Shaun Howard passed away. I don’t really think I need to stand here and tell you what he meant to you, you know better than I. In truth, I haven’t even known him very long, though I can’t express how much I treasured that time. Instead, I want to tell you a little bit about who I knew that nobody else did, and perhaps a little insight into him.”

 

He paused a moment, taking a breath before he continued. “Shaun was born three weeks before his due date, and Nora and I had procrastinated so long, we hadn’t even set up his crib yet, so the night before they were discharged, I had to run home and put together the crib in the middle of night just so my boy would have somewhere to lay his head once we got him home. I remember that night vividly, my hands shaking as I put together the frame and the mobile, the fresh vision of my son’s face in my mind’s eye. It’s one thing when your wife’s pregnant, looking forward to your child’s birth. It’s another thing entirely when they’re born, to know they’re here and you have this huge responsibility hanging over your head. In the dead of that night, in between cursing as I put that crib together, I remember all the dreams that were going through my head, all the hopes I had for the future for my son. I wanted the world for him, and Nora and I did our best to give him just that for the first six months of his life.”

 

Another pause, and his jaw became more set as he said, “Of course, all those hopes and dreams weren’t to be. I’d pictured him growing up, going to college - maybe Nora’s alma mater - and then finding someone to settle down with, starting a family. When the bombs dropped, all of that went out the window, and as we loaded into the Vault, I just wanted us to survive. We had no idea what Vault-tec was really planning, we were only told that the pods that we were climbing into were decontamination chambers. We were frozen before we even knew what was happening. I awoke once, briefly, when Shaun was taken, and then I was put back under. When he triggered my release, I had no idea what kind of world I was waking up in, much less where my son was and what was happening.”

 

Nate reached up to wipe at his mouth as continued, “Initially, I had no idea how much time had passed. I thought it had been days since Shaun had been taken, but in reality it was sixty years. When I finally reunited with him, it was an odd mixture of relief and disappointment. Relief because I’d found him, disappointment because I’d missed his whole life. And then, of course, not too long after he told me that he was dying, and now, here we are.”

 

Gripping the edge of the podium, he steeled himself as he started in on that last legs of his speech. “While I missed his whole life, missed every experience that I was looking forward to as a new father, I have to say that I was immensely proud to see what my son had helped shape and lead. The Institute is key to the future of the Commonwealth, and as new Director, I’m committed to seeing Shaun’s vision come to life. I may not have had much time with him in the long run, nowhere near the time I wanted, but as I’m sure he did with all of you, he left an indelible impression. He gave me a vision, a mission for the future, something to strive for. He knew, I think, that losing him would leave me adrift, and he wanted to give me a direction and a purpose. And it’s that same direction and purpose that I want to share with you all. So in the coming days, as we all adjust, I want you all to hold Shaun in your hearts and your minds, and trust in his final decisions, that he had everyone’s future in mind. I know I will be leaning heavily on everything he imparted with me. Rest assured that, even though he is gone, his legacy will live on. It will live on in me, it will live on in my board of directors, and it will live on in each and every one of you. You are the future. And I will help see it through.”

 

With that, he stepped back from the podium and towards where I was standing, tears gathering in his eyes even with his stony, solemn gaze. He reached out and wrapped an arm around me as he stood beside me, and I likewise wrapped an arm around his back, giving him my unwavering support. It seemed incredible, somehow, that we had gotten this far. It didn’t seem like it had been that long since I’d woken up in the Commonwealth, had met Nate as he emerged from the Vault. Yet, in another sense, it seemed like years had passed, with the comfortable familiarity that we shared. As the conveyor was turned on and the incinerator door opened to receive Shaun’s remains, Nate took a deep breath and sniffled, a single tear coursing down his face. This was the part of the story that nobody wanted to experience, the low point that left us feeling raw. But if we were to experience the highest of the highs in our victories, we had to also experience the bitter taste of loss. For there is no sunrise without a sunset, and likewise there is no joy without sorrow. I laid my head on Nate’s shoulder as the box was sent into the heart of the incinerator and the door was closed, signalling the final end to Shaun’s story. The last remnant of Nate’s old life was gone, and I think he mourned that just as heavily as he did his own flesh and blood. And I ... I could only be there for him, support him, comfort him. We were in this together, two peas in a pod, two fish out of water, two strangers in a strange land facing the nuclear wastes leftover from man’s hubris. Our mission was clear, and now we could move unhindered.


	22. Love come quick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter leaves y'all in a little bit better place than the last one :)

_Love, if you're there come save me_

_From all this cold despair,_

_I can hang when you're around,_

_But I'll surely die_

_If you're not there ..._

 

_~~ "Thieves in the Temple", Prince_

 

 

\-----------

 

After the whole funeral ceremony ended and after everyone dispersed, Nate took me aside in his old quarters - they were due to move him into the Director’s suite soon - and told me he wanted me to return to the surface immediately. ”I’ve really appreciated you staying down here, even though you didn’t have to, but I need your eyes and ears up there. I have work to do here, restructuring, feeling everything out, that kind of thing. And I still have to free the synths and come up with a plan to make all that work ...”

 

“Hey, it’s alright. Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, let’s just focus on getting you into your position and securing the support you’ll need for the synth’s release. We still have to deal with the Brotherhood, too, after all.”

 

“Right. Them. I almost forgot.”

 

I chuckled. “Don’t worry about them, let me take the wheel. Panic attack notwithstanding, I think I can handle anything they can throw at me.”

 

Nate smiled at me, clasping my shoulder as he said, “Thanks, Lia. Really, I have no idea how I would have done even half of all of this without you.”

 

My cheeks heated with a blush at the compliment. “I’m just glad I’m here to help, both you and the Commonwealth.”

 

Nodding, Nate sighed as he stated simply, “We’re getting close, aren’t we?”

 

“Yep. Getting there.”

 

He smirked at me as he asked, “Wanna take one more whirl in the shower before you return tonight?”

 

I laughed at his suggestion. He knew me too well. Well, me and the importance of hot running water, as I wasn’t the only person displaced in this wasteland without amenities they were used to. Although Nate might be slightly more suited to it, given his time in the army, I don’t think anyone truly gets used to bathing without warm water. Since my first day in the Institute, after my first shower, I had taken a couple of quick scrub ups in between, nothing big, just enough to wash the stink off. But now my visit was going to be bookended by a long, hot, luxurious shower, and I couldn’t say I was unhappy about it. I spent as much time as I could in there, relishing the feel of hot water running down my body, spending far more time than was really necessary. But could anyone blame me? I didn’t think so. I made sure to enjoy every minute spent under the proper shower, not completely excited by the idea of returning to cold, quick baths in the Castle. But the Commonwealth above was not without its perks, namely a sweet synth detective who was waiting for me and undoubtedly confused by how long we were taking, and it was with Nick in my mind that I turned off the water and stepped out, drying off my hair and brushing it out.

 

My Minutemen uniform had been returned, impeccably clean, probably cleaner than it had been in its entire lifetime. Once again, I looked every bit like the Major general I was, and I purposed to wear this uniform more often. The Vaultsuit was comfortable and warm, but this signified my allegiance, and I was far from ashamed of it. I stuffed my Institute jumpsuit in my pack, however, figuring I might need it in the future. For what, I wasn’t sure, but no sense in leaving behind anything useful. Hell, if it got any colder, I could end up using it for layering if nothing else. Especially if I’d end up going to Far Harbour before winter was over. Just because it apparently didn’t snow up there didn’t mean that it wasn’t cold, and I was definitely going to have to prepare for that eventuality.

 

Once I was packed up and ready, Nate himself wanted to escort me up to the relay. I got a quick chance to say goodbye to little Shaun as he was coming back from school while we were leaving, and he even gave me a hug. I felt a little awkward around kids, but I hugged him back anyway. “Are you coming back here?” he asked me.

 

Glancing at Nate, I honestly responded, “I’m not sure. I have a lot of work to do up top.” Ruffling his hair, I added, “I hope I’ll see you again soon.”

 

He brightened with a smile. “Me too! Be safe up there, they say it’s dangerous.”

 

“I will,” I promised, and with that Nate and I left, making our way to the central elevator and riding it all the way up. We had discussed that, considering we weren’t sure of circumstances up top, it would be safest to relay me into Railroad HQ, just in the off chance someone was waiting for one of us in the General’s quarters. So he gave the coordinates to the technician who was manning the relay and as we waited briefly for her to ready it, Nate and I shared one last hug. “Good luck,” I told him.

 

“You, too. Keep everything running for me, okay? I’m not sure when I’m going to be able to leave here, but probably not anytime soon.” Parting, he looked me in the eye as he said, “If you need help, don’t hesitate to send for Preston or appoint anyone you need to. You’re gonna be running the show for me up there, but it’s not a one person job. Don’t treat it like it is.”

 

I nodded. “You don’t have to worry about a thing. Whenever you’re ready to visit, we’ll be ready and waiting for you.”

 

He smiled. “I know.”

 

We were interrupted by the technician informing us that the relay was ready whenever we were, and so I stepped into the room, turning and looking back toward Nate as he stood there, watching me. There was a short, verbal countdown, and then I was once again encased in bright, radiant light, so sharp that it left my body tingling, though not in a wholly unpleasant way.

 

When I reappeared, it seemed I had interrupted a meeting of some sorts. Dez, Glory, Deacon, Drummer Boy, Jenny, Carrington, even Nick and RJ were there. I didn’t get a chance to apologise or ask what was going on as Nick exclaimed, “Lia!” and rushed to embrace me. “We were starting to get a little worried,” he said as he held onto me for a moment, and I relaxed into that familiar scent of his, reacquainting myself with the familiar, smooth feel of his jacket.

 

“No shit,” Deacon commented, leaning against a table. “We were just talking about what we should do if ... you know ... if you didn’t come back.”

 

I winced. “Sorry, guys, when we were there, well ... something came up.”

 

Nick finally loosened his grip on me a little as he pulled away. “What do you mean, doll?”

 

I sighed. “Shaun’s condition, it ... it deteriorated pretty rapidly the night we arrived. Nate didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to chance his son dying on him when he wasn’t there.”

 

Dez nodded. “Understandable. How is he? Bullseye, that is.”

 

Pursing my lips, I replied, “He’s the Director now. Shaun passed early this morning.”

 

There was an almost audible sigh that permeated through the room, like everyone relaxed just a little bit. “So,” Dez said, “we’re that much closer, then.”

 

“Yeah. Nate went ahead and sent me back so I can take care of things here. He’s going to be spending an undetermined amount of time in the Institute, resettling it after the transition and restructuring so he can release the synths with minimal resistance.”

 

“Good,” she said, taking one last drag from her cigarette before she smashed it in a nearby ashtray. “I have to say, when you two hadn’t returned, we were fearing the worst. We weren’t above tricking the Brotherhood into storming the Institute to get you two out, if need be. But ...” she smirked, “... it seems the situation is even better than I’d hoped.”

 

Nodding, I smiled in return. “We’re in the home stretch now, Dez. Whadya think of being out of work sometime in the near future?”

 

She chuckled as she replied, “Dunno how I’m gonna handle that, but I’ll be glad to, that’s for sure.”

 

While Nate and I had been hanging out in the Institute, doing very little to speak of, up on the surface everyone had been very productive. The wall had been fully repaired and now work was being done on the inside, remodelling and even expanding some spaces out into the courtyard to accommodate more Minutemen coming through. The barracks had been completely redone, and it was now homey and cozy, even though it housed quite a few people. Even the General’s quarters were completely reworked. Instead of an armoire that was busted up and falling apart, there was a couple of nice dressers and a brand new looking bed that was made up and ready for Nate whenever he returned. The table and chairs had also been sanded down and repainted so they looked nice, and a desk had been put in one of the corners so that it could be used for reports and any paperwork that might need to be done. A second bed was shoved in another corner, I supposed in case there was a traveling companion that needed it so they didn’t have to sleep on the floor. Made sense. There was even a rug laid on the floor, joining the Minutemen flag on the wall to denote that someone did indeed live here, and that they appreciated a little comfort instead of the cold, hard stone floor against their feet.

 

“Wow, this is nice!” I commented as I let my pack drop to the floor.

 

“It is,” Nick replied, right behind me. “I wouldn’t get too comfortable in here, though.”

 

Turning to face him, I asked, “Why?”

 

He smirked. “Because they have some secondary quarters for any other high ranking Minutemen staying at the Castle, namely you at the moment. And, I hope you don’t mind, but I nipped up to Sanctuary to grab a couple of things to make it a little more comfortable for you.” Closing the distance between us, he added, “We’ll finally have a little space all our own here. While Nate’s gone, RJ will take the spare bed in the General’s quarters, and we’ll have the other room.”

 

Humming, my fingers trailed up the long lapels of his jacket. “Well now, sounds like we’re due to break in a new room, then.”

 

Nick chuckled as he kissed my forehead. “Tonight. I’m sure you have things you need to do, people you need to check in with.” I groaned as Nick pulled me back into the reality of being Major general, and he laughed as I leaned against him. “Don’t worry, it’ll come soon enough.”

 

He was right, of course. I had reports to go over, even more than anticipated since I was away longer than I’d planned to be. Thankfully, there had been no major incidents at the Castle proper, though there were some skirmishes happening with some raiders elsewhere in the Commonwealth. I made the dispatch order for some Minutemen to take care of the situation, and a small group of them set off immediately, headed by Keats. Another settlement - The Slog - was having an issue with some super mutants nearby, so another contingent of Minutemen were sent out to deal with that. Nothing big, thankfully. Per scouting reports, the Brotherhood of Steel wasn’t getting in our way, so we could ignore their movements for now. Their missions seemed to be of the sweep and collect variety, where they would go into certain places to collect some piece of technology or artifact that they deemed necessary to have. _Good, let’s hope it stays that way._

 

In the evening, after dinner, I was thinking of calling it a day after a patrol or two when Dex approached me. “I have someone at the gate askin’ for ya. A ghoul by the name of Edward Deegan. Said he needed to speak with you, specifically.”

 

_Me specifically? Well that’s interesting._ “Go ahead and send him to the General’s quarters, I’ll meet with him there.”

 

“Yes, ma’am, will do,” Dex replied, turning heel and walking back toward the entrance. In the meantime, I made my way back from the kitchen and to Nate’s room, knocking and waiting for RJ to let me know it was fine to enter.

 

The former mayor was lounging on his bed, reading a worn comic book, and he looked up when Nick and I entered. “Need something?”

 

I shook my head. “Nah, just got someone wanting a meeting.”

 

RJ sat up at that. “You need me to leave?”

 

“No, you can stay put. In fact, I might need you with us on what’s about to come.”

 

“Oh, actually gonna make me work for my caps, now?”

 

“Harr harr,” was all the response I had time for, as there was another knock at the door, this time Dex, who was escorting Deegan. Once she dropped him off, she wandered back to her post and Nick closed the door so we could all talk in private. “Mr. Deegan,” I said as I reached out with my hand. “Major general Lia Bauer.”

 

“Just Ed, please,” he replied as he shook my hand. “I’m glad you agreed to meet me, I wanted to talk to you about working a couple of jobs for my employer.”

 

“Sure, though I’m honestly a little surprised you were wanting me. Most people ask to see the General.”

 

He chuckled. “I’ve heard of your General, and he has an impressive resume, for sure. But he also has a bit of a reputation for being a bit unavailable. You, on the other hand, I heard about you directly from Old Man Stockton, and I think you’d fit the bill for what we need.”

 

Ah, the whole deal with Amelia. She and Dan must have told him about me, and he in turn told Deegan about me. It made a lot more sense now as to why he was asking for me instead of Nate. “Well, if you think I’ll be useful, I’m game.”

 

“Good, good,” the ghoul said with a twisted smile. “Now, before you come on, Jack likes to meet all of his prospective employees first. Can you meet us up at Cabot house tomorrow?”

 

I looked between Nick and RJ, seeing if there was any protest, but found none and so I said, “Sounds doable to me.”

 

“Great, glad to hear. I’ll meet you up there tomorrow, then.”

 

“Wait, where you going to stay tonight?”

 

“Oh, I’m just gonna hike back to Cabot house.”

 

“All that way? Why don’t you just stay here tonight? We have room in the barracks since I have two teams out handling missions.”

 

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Ed protested.

 

“Nonsense, beds in the barracks aren’t assigned, you wouldn’t be putting anyone out. Actually, have you eaten yet tonight?”

 

He chuckled. “Wasn’t expecting to until I got back.”

 

“Well, if you’re interested, there’s still some food left in the kitchens. It’s open to everyone.”

 

“I don’t want to put anyone out.”

 

“Please, Ed, it’s the least I can do.”

 

Finally, he relented against my hospitable nature, and I showed him where the barracks were before I hooked him up with a meal in the kitchen, telling him that if he needed anything to let me know, though I suspected he would be just fine. Finally, at long last, I was able to retire to my new room, a room I hadn’t even seen yet. I had to wonder what they’d done with the place, and what Nick had brought from my house in Sanctuary.

 

The room in question was tucked away underground, near where Railroad HQ was set up. It had been a previously open area that was closed off and made into a space of its own, leftover rubble from the wall used to make a floor so that it wasn’t just dirt. There were a few beds available, presumably in case multiple people needed to use it, but for now I was the only one. Corresponding with the beds were separate dressers, and there were two that were marked specifically for myself and for Preston. Whoever had fixed them up was obviously talented in woodworking. A Minutemen flag hung on the wall, along with a few old art pieces that seemed like a throwback to the pre-war era, similar to what was hung in Nate’s new room. Several rugs blanketed the floor, leaving little exposed stone, and lamps were set up strategically so that while there wasn’t an overhead light, there wasn’t any want for illumination if need be.

 

At the end of one of the beds, the one near my specific dresser, was a very familiar looking quilt that I quickly realised was from my bed in Sanctuary. It would be nice to have something warm to snuggle up in next to my Grandpa Toaster, and I smiled as I ran my fingers over it. Looking back at Nick, I asked, “Is this what you went back to Sanctuary for?”

 

“Amoung other things.”

 

“Other things?”

 

He tilted his head toward my dresser, but otherwise didn’t answer. Curiousity peaked, I walked over to the dresser and pulled open the top drawer, my cheeks flushing as I saw, tucked amoungst some comfortable clothing, was a few lacy, satiny things. I jumped as I heard Nick’s voice right behind me, not realising he’d slipped that close to me. “Dunno how long we’re going to have this space all to ourselves, so I figured we might as well take advantage of it.”

 

I chuckled, heat growing between my legs. “Of course. You’re always thinking three steps ahead, Nick.”

 

His breath tickled my ear as he commented, “You like it, doll, don’t deny it.”

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I turned and planted a kiss on him before I murmured, “Why don’t you pick something while I get undressed?”

 

He definitely wasn’t averse to that idea, and I slunk over to a screen set up to allow the occupants of the room a little privacy for changing and things like that in the event that there were multiple people in the room. Not like I needed it with Nick, but it added just a little bit of mystique to the situation, and sometimes it was the delayed gratification that really made lingerie pop. I took a little bit of time shuffling off my boots and socks and unbuttoning my shirt and vest as Nick carefully chose what he wanted to see me in. I wasn’t waiting too long, and I wondered if he had already prioritised what he wanted to see me in most. Shucking the rest of my clothes and setting them aside, I grabbed what he had flung up onto the top of the screen. It was white and low cut and short as all get out, probably stopping just below the curve of my ass. The top part that curved around my breasts was all lace and the body that skimmed away was a soft, just barely sheer material. Slipping it over my head, I looked almost like a stereotypical sexy angel ... and I wondered if that was what drew Nick to it. _Well, if he wants a sexy little angel, he’s got it._ I flipped my hair over and combed through it with my fingers, giving it some volume and letting my waves come through. On second thought, before I stepped out from behind the screen, I went ahead and removed my underwear, smirking as I remembered the last time I did that and wondering just how he would react again. Because of the material, even though the outline of my body was visible, anything underneath wasn’t, so I mentally started a timer to see how long it would take Nick to figure out I wasn’t wearing anything under the negligee.

 

Emerging from behind the screen, I settled a hand against it, letting him get as much of an eye full as he wanted. His yellow eyes practically smouldered underneath his hat, and he reached up to loosen his tie as he let out a long, low whistle. “Oh I am glad I stopped by Sanctuary.” Crooking his finger, he beckoned me, “C’mere, princess.” I slowly made my way over to where he stood, biting my lip as I tried to look as innocent as possible. If the bulge in his pants was any indication, I was playing my part perfectly, and the way he looked at me with that heated gaze had me growing wetter with each step that I took. Reaching out, he took hold of my chin and laid a deep, searing kiss on my lips before he pulled away and looked me square in the eye. “Now listen closely, doll, I want to tell you something important before we go on.” I nodded and he continued by asking, “You remember the safe word, yes?”

 

“Yes, Daddy,” I replied automatically.

 

“And what is that?”

 

“Red.”

 

“Good girl. Now, that’s important to remember and keep in mind if you ever want to stop, but sometimes I might want to try something mid-stream. I want to give you two more words to remember, can you do that for me?”

 

“Yes, Daddy.”

 

“Good. The first one is green. If you like what’s happening, and you want to keep going, then if I ask you to give me a colour, that’s what you say.” I nodded, waiting for him to continue. “The second is yellow. If something is getting close to a line you don’t want to cross, but I haven’t reached the line yet, then I want you to use this and I’ll know to be careful. You understand, princess?”

 

“Yes, Daddy.”

 

“Good girl,” he purred, leaning down to give me another kiss. “And remember, anytime you need to use yellow or red, don’t be afraid to. I’ll never judge you or punish you for it, I promise.”

 

His voice melted me, and I swear we could have skipped the sex and I would have been happy for the night just being close to him when he was in this domineering headspace. “I trust you, Daddy.”

 

The edge of his lip tugged upwards in a smirk. “That’s my good girl.” Releasing my chin, he directed me, “Close your eyes.” I closed them with no hesitation, my breath quickening ever so slightly in anticipation of whatever Nick was planning. I heard his footsteps as he circled me slowly, and I could practically feel his eyes raking up and down my body. I suppressed as much of the shiver as I could, but I couldn’t help the involuntary action entirely. Nick didn’t say anything about it, and I actually heard his footsteps walk away, toward the dresser of mine that was set up. I wondered if he’d stashed something else in there, though I wasn’t sure what else it could be as I’d only seen clothes in there. Whatever it was, he was digging around for a hot minute before he found it and I heard him close the drawer and walk back over toward me. He stood directly behind me, pausing only a moment before he reached out and tugged on my arms, pulling them behind me as he growled, “Keep them here.” I did as instructed, holding my arms behind my back, my elbows bent at right angles. I then felt something encircle my wrists, and my eyebrows furrowed slightly, my mind trying to work out what it was without the benefit of foreknowledge or sight. With a few tugs and pulls, however, I realised that Nick had procured some sort of rope and was using it on me. The realisation had me practically dripping, knowing that I was completely, physically at his mercy. I wasn’t afraid - far from it - but the thought of being that beholden to his whims had me whimper. Nick paused at the sound, asking, “Lia? Colour, please.”

 

I paused a moment to let my mind work out the new information he’d given me before, “Green.”

 

His fingers remained still against my skin. “You sure, sweetheart? You don’t have to say yes just to please me.”

 

Nodding, I confirmed, “Yes, I’m sure, I was just excited.”

 

He chuckled as he tightened the ropes around my wrist. “Excited, huh? I’m not even done yet.” And he was right. I could feel as he used the rest of the length of rope to wrap around two points around my torso, one length above my breasts and another beneath. They were tied snug, but not tight, and while I was definitely restrained I felt that I could still breathe well. Nick’s hand rested on top of my shoulder and he pushed down as he said, “Kneel for me, princess.” I settled onto my knees, resting myself against my feet. I felt his hand in my hair as he circled back around me. A moment of rustling clothes later, he said, “Open your eyes.”

 

I did so and found myself face to face with his semi-erect cock, hardening by the moment. He didn’t need to tell me what to do as I immediately leaned forward and licked a long line up and down the shaft, eliciting a moan from the synth detective. Our eyes connected as I sucked his length into my mouth, hollowing my cheeks the further I went. His metal hand tangled in my hair, resting on the back of my head. He helped guide me, since my balance was a little off from being restrained. His eyes fell to half-lidded, watching his hardening length disappear into my mouth, feeling my tongue slide around him, pleasure heightening with every suck and pull. With his metal hand, he pushed me further onto him, and I hesitated for a moment, unsure I could really do this without outright gagging.“Relax, princess. Breathe through your nose and swallow. It’ll help.” Well, it was nothing doing, so I took a deep breath through my nose and did my best to swallow, not feeling like I quite did it well but he did slide deeper in my throat. I could feel the his tip prod the back of my throat, and I valiantly fought against the urge to gag, but despite my best efforts, I did anyway, tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes. Nick immediately pulled back, allowing me the space to breathe. I was a little worried he’d be disappointed, but he only smiled and said, “Very good. We’ll have to work on that later, but for now, get up on the bed for me.”

 

He helped me to my feet and I traced over to the bed, pausing as I realised I wasn’t sure what position he wanted me to get in. Looking back, I asked, “How do you want me?”

 

I could have sworn he _purred_ as he replied, “Just on your knees for now.” With direction now, I knelt on the bed, waiting for his next directive. Instead of saying anything, however, he went back to the dresser and fetched another length of rope. He smiled again as he looked at me, his eyes traveling up and down my bound body. Leaning in close, he murmured, “I swear, doll, you look about good enough to eat.” Capturing my lips in an intense kiss, I moaned, wanting to rub my thighs together just for the sake of the friction, though it wouldn’t be enough. Pulling away, he murmured, “On your back, princess, so I can finish.”

 

I couldn’t help the grin that blossomed on my face as I laid back, knowing that he was finally going to see that I’d left off a certain part of my wardrobe. As my my slipped up my body, Nick froze as he realised, then shook his head. “I should’ve known. You always have liked being a naughty kitten, haven’t you?” Looping the ropes around my thighs and calves, pulling them together, he mentioned, “Don’t think I’ll simply forget about this.”

 

“I’m counting on it,” I shot back, my grin widening.

 

“Oh, getting a little mouthy, are we? Well I know what to do about that.” As he finished tying my calves to my thighs, locking my legs in a permanent kneeling position. Since I was unable to move, myself, he pulled me up and then flipped me over so that my head was lying against the bed and my ass was pointed up in the air, my lingerie long since ridden up past my waist. Lightly vibrating fingers caressed the very outside of my folds, and I moaned as I shifted my hips, needing to feel that elsewhere, but he wasn’t willing to give that to me just yet. Instead, he made a show of hedging around me, and I realised this was his way of dealing with me for not wearing any panties ... I had been expecting a spanking, but this time he made it worse, teasing me with pleasure, but not giving me what I needed. Because of how well I was restrained, I could only writhe a little, but not enough to even get anywhere close to relief. He chuckled to see me like that, but I couldn’t even bring myself to care, my flushed cheeks the only indication of my body’s attempt at shame. He finally circled my clit more directly, and because of the build up I was soon skirting that edge, but he pulled back before I could fall over the edge. Instead, once the waves had ebbed away, he slipped two fingers inside me, increasing the vibration as he brushed against my g-spot. I used the blankets to muffle my moans, since while we did have a room of our own, it wasn’t soundproof, and I was conscientious that Railroad HQ was just down the hall. Once again, by his own ministrations, I was driven right to the edge, but yet again he pulled back, leaving me a whimpering mess. It didn’t help that it had been a hot minute since our last rendezvous, so I was even more fired up because of it. That plus the teasing, plus everything he was doing was leaving me a right mess, and I felt a haze settle in as my whole world began to narrow to Nick and those fingers of his. When he finally pulled them out of me, I whimpered as my cunt squeezed down on nothing, wanting and needing that retreating sensation. He wasn’t going to let me go long without, however, as in recompense I felt the blunt head of his cock start to push against my entrance.

 

Once he’d fully seated himself, he didn’t waste any time, immediately getting right to business as he pounded into me. I was immensely grateful that he at least afforded me the option of muffling my noises with the blanket, because they were plenteous as the haze of pleasure took over more and more of my brain. I suddenly felt one of his vibrating fingers at my second entrance, prodding gently, stretching slowly, and I could barely hear his voice as he asked, “Colour?” I took a breath as I tried to consider if I wanted this or not, if I was okay with it or not, but I was having trouble getting my brain to function. Again, with a little bit more command to his voice, he asked, “Lia? Colour.”

 

I wasn’t wholly opposed to it, but a trill of fear ran through me, not wanting that to go any further at the moment, not until I had a chance to fully consider everything when I wasn’t mostly out of it. “Yellow.”

 

I was again worried a little that he would be disappointed, but instead he purred as his metal hand caressed the curve of my ass. “Good girl.” He left things as is, then, with one vibrating finger in my ass as he pounded away at me, the vibrations steadily going up as he did so. I could barely seem to stand all the sensations that were hitting me as everything narrowed to the immediate area, to what was happening directly to me. The whole of the Castle could have been gathered in my room and I would have been none the wiser, my mind descending fully into the realm of pleasure, the euphoria intoxicating as I was driven wild. This time Nick didn’t hold back, didn’t let up, and my whole body seized and trembling as I came, hard, my clit untouched. I swore that, for a moment, I didn’t think it would end, as I shook in my restraints, and from the way Nick grunted and stilled, I knew he had finished as well, his vibration ratcheting down until it ceased entirely.

 

Honestly, I could not tell when Nick pulled out of me. I couldn’t even tell when he gently pushed me onto my side and untied the ropes, manipulating my body the way he needed to in order to undo the knots and pull the rope from around my body. Truth be told, the next thing I could coherently remember was being held and realising that it was Nick’s arms that encircled me. Responding, I snuggled into his chest, lost in this haze, and unwilling to leave it. I heard him ask if I was alright, and I hummed and nodded, just wanting to enjoy this moment of ours. After so much sadness, so much anxiety, so much grief, I needed this. And he was content to simply let me be, holding me close and stroking my hair as he murmured sweet nothings in my ear.


	23. A Natural

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the bit of delay. The smut bug bit me pretty hard, and then I got a little sick for a minute and had no motivation to write at all. But I had done a nice bit of work on the chapter before all that so I was able to power through and finish it for today. Hope y'all don't mind the needed filler. :)

_That's the price you pay,_

_Leave behind your heartache, cast away_

_Just another product of today,_

_Rather be the hunter than the prey,_

_And you're standing on the edge, face up 'cause_

_You're a natural ..._

 

_~~ "Natural", Imagine Dragons_

 

 

\-----------

 

I floated on a cloud of euphoria, aware of very little outside of Nick rubbing my arms and legs to make sure any banished feeling came back as he held me. I could feel the rumble of his chuckle against me as I felt like I was folded into him, not even a separate entity anymore, it felt like we were mixed up into the same person. I couldn’t be sure how much time passed as I laid in his arms, but he stayed with me, as faithful as ever, until I finally started to come out of it. His metal hand caressed my cheek as my eyes fluttered open, my vision taking a moment to focus on the man in front of me, and when they finally did my lips lazily curved upward in a sated smile. He returned it in kind, his voice soft and low as he murmured, “Hey there, doll.”

 

“Hey, Nick,” I returned, my voice hoarse for some reason. Had I really been making that much noise, been putting that much strain on my vocal cords? Definitely a good thing my bed had been outfitted with fluffy, thick blankets, otherwise I probably could have been heard at the damn airport.

 

“You sure you doing okay? You were out of it for a while.”

 

I nodded. “Oh yeah. More than okay.”

 

“Good.” Kissing my forehead, he told me, “Just stay put for a moment, let me start up a fire.”

 

“Fire?”

 

He chuckled. “You didn’t notice the wood stove?”

 

Casting my gaze around, I finally found it, tucked in the furthermost corner, as equidistant as possible to all the beds. “I guess I didn’t.”

 

“I guess it’s a good thing _I’m_ the detective.”

 

“Hey!” I protested weakly as he rose to his feet, already tucked away and clothes perfect. I realised then that he must have cleaned me up as well, even going so far as to fetch some panties for me. “You put underwear on me?” I asked as he worked to start up a fire in the stove.

 

“I already want to wear your ass out in that, doll, no need to give me any more reason.”

 

I chuckled as I flopped back down on the bed. “I think you already did that.”

 

A shiver went up my spine as his voice sounded directly in my ear. “If you think _that_ was wearing you out, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, doll.” The warmth from the wood stove started to permeate the whole space, making it much more comfortable as Nick rejoined me on the bed. Kissing my forehead, he told me, “Get some rest. We have a mission in the morning, and you’ll want to be alert for it.”

 

Knowing he was right, I gave him a quick kiss as we snuggled into the blankets, enveloping myself in a cocoon of warmth and happiness before I drifted off. It was nice, some semblance of normality in this fucked up world, a much needed high as a counterpoint to the lows we’d been dealt recently. We both needed it, and the next day we were about to set off on yet another mission that should be fairly easy and straight forward, at least compared to the complicated politics of our current situation. That could wait, however, wait until Nate was ready. For now, our ultimate objective was to deal with Lorenzo Cabot, and that was just easy enough to sate our win list until we had to get back on track with dealing with the future and well-being of the whole Commonwealth.

 

Despite how thoroughly exhausted I’d been, I woke up easily, refreshed and ready to tackle the day. I again donned my Minutemen uniform instead of my Vaultsuit, beginning to really take to the new aesthetic. Nick followed me up to the kitchens were I grabbed some breakfast, Deegan already sitting at a table and eating a bowl of oatmeal. I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to go wake up RJ, but he had apparently already been up as he entered, empty coffee cup in hand to deposit in the sink for washing by whoever had that particular duty today. It seemed I was the last one up, but at least I wasn’t too far behind as I scarfed down the food and made to prepare and check my pack, making sure I had enough ammo for my 10mm and also tucking some ammo in there for Nick. That, plus a few grenades never went amiss. By the time I had finished and had delegated responsibility of the Castle over to Ronnie, we were all ready to go, our supplies replenished and accounted for.

 

The journey to Cabot house was uneventful, thankfully, and Edward let us right in, calling out to Jack as we entered to let him know that we had arrived. “Edward!” the scientist exclaimed. “I was a bit worried when you didn’t come back last night.”

 

Ed’s head jerked toward me. “I was offered dinner and a place to stay for the night, and she’s awfully pushy when she wants to be.”

 

Chuckling, I stepped forward. “Major general Lia Bauer, Commonwealth Minutemen. And you’re Ed’s boss, I assume?” I had to play it casual, not let on just yet that I knew both of these men a whole helluva lot better than they even knew. At least for now. Jack Cabot did have some pretty interesting, radical beliefs, and who knew maybe he would be accepting of the fact that I simply wasn’t from here. I would have to test the waters.

 

Nodding, Jack introduced himself. “Jack Cabot. Glad you can come. Ed’s told me about you, and if what he says is true, then I hope you’ll be able to help us.” Gesturing toward the living room, he continued, “But first, before we get into business, sit. Let’s have a drink. Ed? Some whiskey, please.”

 

“Right away.” The ghoul moved to obey his employer and Nick, RJ, and I followed Jack to the couch, sitting down just as Deegan approached us with small lowball glasses with a rich, brown liquid. I didn’t usually drink straight alcohol without a mixer unless it was just a shot, but I shrugged and figured what for, downing about half of the liquid in one go.

 

Jack, in comparison, sipped on the liquid, his old world refinery shining through. “So, Miss Bauer, I’d like to ask you some things, things that may seem strange, but I am a curious man.”

 

I nodded, sensing the alien question on the horizon. “Go ahead.”

 

As in the game, he got right down to business. “Do you believe there is other intelligent life in the universe?”

 

Smiling, I replied, “I think you’d be surprised just what all I believe in.”

 

He chuckled as he commented, “An interesting answer, for sure, but it doesn’t really answer my question.”

 

I shrugged. “Sure. I suppose in such a vast universe with all the possibilities present, there can’t be only one planet that sustains life.”

 

Jack smiled broadly. “I’m glad to hear you say that! It’s become my life’s work. My approach is to combine a rigorous scientific method while keeping an absolutely open mind. So much has been closed off to us simply because people assumed they already knew the answers.”

 

“Believe me, I’m finding that more and more to be true as of late.”

 

“Oh? In what way?”

 

Finishing my glass, I asked, “What do you know about string theory and the multiverse?”

 

His eyebrows quirked as he took another sip, seemingly caught completely off guard by the sudden shift in conversation topic. “I’ve not studied it extensively, but from my understanding, it posits that our universe exists in parallel to other universes. Why do you ask?”

 

Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees and asked, “What if I told you that _I’m_ from one of those universes?”

 

“Interesting,” he replied simply. “Do you have any proof?”

 

I sat back in my chair and gestured, ”Where I come from, this whole world is self-contained within a playable video game. Its history, its people, everything. I’m one of the gamers who played this particular game, one in a series we called Fallout, and as such I’m privy to information that has either not yet been revealed or simply hasn’t happened yet.”

 

Jack’s eyes flashed behind his glasses. “Fascinating. So tell me, then, do you know why you’ve been contracted here?”

 

“A package has gone missing near Parsons and you want me to figure out what happened to it and retrieve it if possible. The package contains a serum that you’ve been testing and working with, derived from your father’s blood. It halts aging and is precisely the reason that you’re over 400 years old.”

 

A hush settled over the room, and I wondered if it had really been wise to own up to what I knew with Jack, but then he laughed. “Well, this is certainly unexpected! But, I believe, fortunate nonetheless.” Leaning forward, he asked, “So you know how this will all end, then?”

 

“I know how it _can_ end, yes. And, if you’re amenable, we can try to make it even better.”

 

“Oh? And how so?”

 

“These raiders that ambushed your courier ... they’re going to want to free Lorenzo and gain access to the undiluted serum, something that will make them incredibly strong and durable. During this, you’ll make the choice to go ahead and kill your father, noting that you can’t risk him being set free, and with how close the raiders get to actually freeing him, it only seems a matter of time before another gang tries again.”

 

“And I suppose you have some suggestions to prevent that.”

 

I smiled. “Of course I do. That serum will be important in curing someone I know of later on down the line, so it would be best to not do away with the source for now.”

 

Jack fetched the building plans for the asylum from his office and spread them out on the table, noting what had changed over the years since he had stashed his unstable father away in there. I knew of some strong points they would want to fortify, and good places where traps could be set in preparation for the inevitable assault. The courier was long dead, and even if we could retrieve that one vial of serum, it wouldn’t make much difference in the long run. As far as Emogene went, I knew exactly where she was, and Jack said that would at least help Wilhelmina feel better, which would allow us to funnel all our resources into fortifying the asylum instead of diverting attention to finding his wayward sister. We would break her out soon enough, but we could spare some time. Setting up our plans took most of the day, but by the time evening was setting in, we had created a solid plan of attack. And by attack, I really mean _defence_. RJ was crucial help in establishing sniper points and where to best completely block off entrance to, funnelling any would be attackers into a single line formation. Just like at the Battle of Thermopylae, it allowed a smaller defence force to take on and even succeed against a larger group of attackers. That was definitely going to be our best bet in the long run, since we all couldn’t just camp out there indefinitely. We would take care of the initial group of raiders, but Jack’s employees would have to take on responsibility after that. And with how much more easy we could make things, it seemed they would be more than capable of doing just that.

 

Since it was so late by the time we finally finished, Jack offered us a meal and lodging for the night. I had to admit, even I was surprised by the quality of the food offered, and by the looks of it RJ was, too, with the way he scarfed it down. We were afforded a couple of beds in a singular room, and we all simply tumbled into them the first chance we got, knowing that the next morning, we had a nice little ways to hike, and while we had a solid plan to take with us, it would still take some time to implement. We wouldn’t be getting back to the Castle for a few days yet.

 

The hike up to Parson’s didn’t take us very long, and we started just before sunrise. It wasn’t even mid-morning by the time we breached the perimeter, and the guards there simply nodded at Deegan and our group, assuming that if we were with Ed, we were good. He headed straight to the guard captain, a woman I now discovered was named Carol, and spoke to her about our restructuring plans, since she would be the one to not only change up how she and her men did their job while we worked, but would also take on the new formations after everything was implemented. She seemed surprised, even wondering why we were going to such lengths when they had only had the barest of skirmishes with raiders in the past with them easily giving up once it was apparent that the guard at Parsons was deep. Ed shook his head at her slight resistance. “I know, I know, but the Minutemen have been getting some … interesting scouting reports lately. Best to prepare for the worst, should it happen. And if it doesn’t, well …” he shrugged … “then it doesn’t. But if it does, then we won’t be caught unprepared.”

 

She pursed her lips, but nodded. “Understood. I’ll see if I can spare a couple of men to help you, but with the raider activity nearby, we’re already on high alert until it calms down again.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Deegan assured her. “You just keep doing your job and we’ll do ours. And in the long run, maybe your job will get easier, eh?”

 

Carol chuckled. “Like _that_ will ever happen.” She seemed to be pretty good natured about it all, though, and that made me confident that this would work in the long term. After all, our best laid plains would all be for naught if the ones actually working this beat long term would get lazy and deviate from it, either purposefully or accidentally out of habit. Deegan seemed to be confident in his employees abilities, and so I put my trust in him as well. He knew them far better than I did, after all.

 

Once we were given the go ahead, we began stripping the ruined inside of the asylum for materials we needed. Essentially, we were barricading all but one entrance, making it impossible to penetrate the asylum without going through that one spot. Every window, every door, every hole was patched and reinforced, a process that was not a short or easy undertaking. We worked as quickly and efficiently as we could without sacrificing the quality of our work. As much as we had to do, we had to make sure it would actually stand up to a full assault or all of our hard work would be in vain. This was a large undertaking, no doubt about it, and by the end of the first day I was seriously dragging. I’d been getting soft just sitting around in the Institute lately, even those several days of minimal movement were showing their results. I ached once more, my muscles sore and my joints stiff. It was made no better by the fact that I wasn’t able to sleep on a real bed, relegated to the floor and my sleep pack, but it was as good as I was going to get for the time being. It reminded me of my first days in Sanctuary and the Castle, seemingly endless physical work followed by rest on a hard surface with only a thin layer of cushion between it and my body.

 

Still, the next day I awoke, sore but determined, and we finished completely barricading the asylum and started setting up sniper nests and a few traps for whenever the raiders would come knocking. This was easier, granted, but required far more precision to get the maximum benefit out of it. After all, if all of our hard work the previous day was undone by a stray grenade or mine, then our work was in vain. We didn’t even want to necessarily kill them by this method, just cripple them so they made easy work for us and the guards. A bit sadistic, maybe, but at this juncture, in this world, we had to think like them at times in order to fight them. The rules of war weren’t fair, and if we had to fight a little dirty in order to win, then that’s what we had to do. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be too long until they attacked. After all, in game, they went after Lorenzo immediately after the player character rescued Emogene. That gave us, at most, a few days in order to prepare, if the player character immediately found the courier, dealt with the remaining serum, and went after Emogene before returning to Jack just in time to hear Deegan over the radio notifying of the assault. Hell, maybe I was even being a little generous in my mental timeline. During our second day of work, I was constantly on edge, wondering if we would get word of incoming raider forces while we were working, when we weren’t quite ready for them yet. But our luck held and the sun set on the second day with nary a peep out of the raiders. I breathed a small sigh of relief, revelling in this small victory while keeping in mind that our luck couldn’t last forever.

 

And it didn’t. One of our eagle-eyed night patrols spotted the raider gang gathering in the night and sounded the alarm, jerking us out of our sleep. The alarm that we’d installed was definitely loud enough, and my eardrums were still ringing as I pulled on my boots and grabbed my gun, gathering with Nick at our predetermined position as RJ took up in one of the sniper nests. My heart was pounding hard in my chest as I checked my ammo and reloaded to ensure I had every bit available. This wasn’t my first fire fight, but it was the first when I was in a defensive position, and that made me nervous, to know that I had to sit there and wait for them to come to me instead of being proactive and taking the fight to my opponent. Nick settled a hand on my shoulder as soon as the alarm stopped sounding, able to now tell me, “It’s alright, sweetheart, this plan’ll work. Deep breaths for me, can you do that?”

 

I nodded, wide-eyed as I swallowed hard, waiting for them to attack. It seemed like forever that we were standing there, waiting, and I had to wonder what was taking them so long. Did the alarm throw them off? Did they possibly scatter? Surely they weren’t that flighty. So what was taking so long?

 

In reality, it was perhaps twenty minutes before the first shots rang out, ricocheting off the stone and brick walls that surrounded the asylum. I winced, somehow forgetting just how loud guns could be as the outside guards started engaging, secure in their nests. We were hopeful that they could take care of at least some of them before they inevitably broke into the asylum, but we weren’t delusional. There was no way they could take them all on, and so we waited, guns drawn, muscles taut, ready to move and strike at a moment’s notice.

 

I jumped as something large hit the front doors, some sort of pre-made battering ram, no doubt. My heart clenched painfully in my chest as we waited, the slams getting louder and more vicious until the front doors burst open for them, unable to keep out the intruders. That was all fine and good, all a part of the plan really as they started to pour into the lobby. I heard the distinct pop of RJ’s rifle as he started picking them off, taking out as many as he could from his concealed nest. Nick and I were back a little ways, a part of the last line of defence in Jack’s office along with Deegan and Carol. We had to trust in the rest of the guards that they could kill or waylay enough of the raiders so that perhaps only a few breached this far into the asylum. We made it as easy as we could for them, at least, and from the sound of the returning gunfire, they were putting up a helluva fight. I could hear when they ran into our traps, too, which filled me with a sick sort of satisfaction know that they were falling for each and every trick that we’d laid out for them. Instead of us falling like flies, like the guards did in game, they were caught completely unaware of our level of knowledge pre-attack.

 

In the end, only one raider - the leader, it seemed - managed to make it far enough to the office. When he burst in, I was so startled, I immediately fired, but my first shot went wide and my second only hit him in the shin. It was a good thing, then, that I was not the only one in the office, as the others were able to easily take him down once I’d crippled him.

 

And that was it. My hands were still shaking, but as I rose to my feet from the crouching position I’d held since the attack, I felt a rush. Of adrenaline, of relief, whatever it was I felt like I was riding high on a cloud as we waited for RJ to make it back to the office with a small contingent of guards, their sweep confirming the all clear. He growled as he saw the one raider lying on the floor. “One got through, then.”

 

“Probably their leader,” I posited. “He likely had taken some of the serum, which was why he was able to make it so far.”

 

“How did it go up front?” Deegan asked.

 

“Textbook,” RJ replied, hefting his rifle so that he was casually carrying it under arm, the barrel pointing at the floor. “There are some wounded but as far as I can see, doesn’t look like we lost anyone.”

 

“Excellent,” Carol exclaimed, eager to see to her men now that the action was over and done with. For the moment at least. There could potentially be another attack in the future, but with how we’d set them up and instructed them, it would easily hold again. And with no one surviving, there would be no one to warn of the trap that lay in wait for anyone who wanted to try their luck.

 

As the smoke cleared and the sun rose, we all prepared to leave Parsons, leaving it in Deegan’s and Carol’s capable hands. We’d done our job, and Deegan said he would take care of fetching Emogene personally once he confirmed Carol was good to take over once more. He shook my hand firmly as we stood in the open courtyard. “I can’t thank you enough for all your help.”

 

I smiled. “Not a problem, Ed. You need anything else, you just let the Minutemen know.”

 

“Will do. You’re a natural, kid. Glad to have you on our side.”

 

As we left the asylum, a light wind at our backs, I had a feeling that he was right. Not only had I managed to solve the problem, I now ensured that the serum would keep flowing for now, and that when we journeyed to Far Harbour, we would be able to take a sample with us to heal Andre Michaud with once he fell ill. Everything was falling into place nicely. It gave a boost to my confidence that, perhaps, everything else would as well.


	24. Defeating the limits

_I woke up one Sunday morning, stopped believing in Jesus,_

_Stopped believing in churches, I stopped believing in preachers,_

_I realised I was a teacher, not just one of the heathens,_

_I'm born to destroy the fallacies, stop creating believers,_

_Start creating the leaders,_ _tell 'em who they should follow,_

_Nobody but themselves ..._

 

_~~ "Battle Cry", Angel Haze_

 

 

\-----------

 

The Commonwealth had descended into a surprisingly quiet afternoon by the time we arrived back at the Castle. I was exhausted from all the work I’d been doing for the past couple of days, but I managed to scarf down a meal as I went through the reports I needed to. Not that I didn’t trust Ronnie, but I liked to keep an eye on things myself so I wouldn’t be caught by surprise by anything. Raider activity was settling down in a few regions, and we had a total of three new settlements pledge their support for the Minutemen. There was also a brand new settlement that had sprung up organically in an old subdivision once a group of super mutants had been cleared from it, and they had requested some assistance in setting up and holding the settlement. Ronnie had already cobbled together some supplies and sent them on the way, enough to build a few turrets and a water pump, along with a few food goods to help hold them until they could start planting. It was nice to see the settlements and the Minutemen helping each other without my or Nate’s involvement, proving to me that if given the chance, the Commonwealth could be completely reformed. It would never be perfect - and I didn’t expect it to be - but it could be a helluva lot better than what the end of Fallout 4 gave us.

 

I wasn’t finished with all of the reports that had filtered in since I’d left with Deegan, but my eyes were starting to cross and I was having trouble focusing on the specific words. It was when I was in the middle of a report and I realised I had no idea what I was reading that I decided to call it an early night. RJ was already lounging in his bed, arm slung over his eyes as he slept, and I quietly turned out the light and tiptoed out with Nick, intent on doing exactly the same thing and nothing more.

 

As much as I would have liked to have a little _quality_ time with the synth detective, I was far to tired to indulge in any activity other than actually sleeping, and Nick could tell as he kissed my forehead and handed me a plain, silky nightgown that fell to the tops of my knees and was long and loose. After I changed into it and tossed my Minutemen attire on top of the dresser so I could easily dress in it the next morning, I slipped underneath the covers. Nick wasn’t far behind me, simply taking the time to start a fire in the stove first, and by the time he wrapped his arms around me, I was already half asleep. I snuggled into him, the heat from the flames already heating the cold room, and the soft whir of machinery underneath his skin finished lulling me to sleep.

 

I kept myself as busy as I could for the next few weeks, knowing that Nate was slaving away in stabilising the Institute post-Shaun. While I’d had success in the field, carrying out missions personally, I was uncomfortable in the prospect of continuing to do keep doing so relentlessly, and so I heeded Nate’s suggestion and sent Dex and partner of hers up to Sanctuary to send Preston on down to the Castle and stay in his stead. That way, when certain missions needed a personal touch from the higher command of the Minutemen or when decisions needed to be made, the load was shared so that nobody was burned out. I was initially worried that Preston wouldn’t be happy about being roped into more work, but I really shouldn’t have. He was good natured, and the kind of person who operated better with a few tasks at hand. Plus, despite the fact that Nick and I no longer had the VIP quarters to ourselves, it was nice having more companions around, close people that I could regularly interact with, and Preston was the second friend I’d made in this wasteland. Between us and Ronnie, we kept the Castle running in tip top shape, sending out Minutemen on missions, accepting new settlements, and distributing supplies as necessary. Dare I say … the routine was nice. It was relatively peaceful, aside from the few skirmishes we had to settle between settlements and raiders, and the super mutant packs and roaming ferals that we occasionally had to take care of. But all in all, not too bad. There were still parts of the Commonwealth that were wild and untamed, parts that were under strict Gunner control or otherwise occupied by Behemoths that needed to be addressed. But we would do so, all in good time. For now, we enjoyed the peace while it lasted, because we knew it wouldn’t last long.

 

The new year came and went without a peep from Nate, but the Minutemen kept on working on helping the settlements through the winter. A couple of the smaller settlements with a couple of people each were too unstable to make it all the way through the winter, and so we’d built up a small settlement directly outside the Castle, near the diner, so that they could shelter until Spring. In the meantime, they worked as Minutemen, earning their keep in whatever way they were able as others scavenged and kept our food and supplies stores up. In addition to their duties with the Railroad - which was settling down for a little bit at the moment - Drummer Boy and Jenny started working more directly with us, running messages between settlements and even carrying out small missions of their own, with Dez’s blessing. They brought me back valuable information and news, easing my mind at certain things. Deegan had long since brought back Emogene, within a couple of days since we parted company, and the asylum and the Cabots were doing fantastic. Sanctuary and the safe house were solidly rebuilt, and the way they had finished it all up, it indeed looked like it was all part of one large, extended settlement, and it functioned as such. While the synths escaping the Institute had dwindled as of late - mostly more to do with the uncertainty following the transition from Shaun to Nate as Director than the ability to get out - there were still one or two here that popped up that agents ran out to scoop up and had to deposit somewhere. Dez had also transitioned a lot of agents out of the Castle, just to make sure that things could be kept discreet. There were ways in and out of their HQ that were undetectable by anyone none the wiser, but Dez wasn’t one to take risks. As a result, she’d had two new safe houses built up, one at Croup Manor, the other at Spectacle Island. One little mission to help the Atom Cats there - RJ was especially happy to fight off Gunners for them - and we more or less insured the agents’ safety. _Making friends, doing favours … ah, the life of the Minutemen._

 

It was right after things had settled down at Spectacle Island and the Atom Cats were pledged supporters of the Minutemen that Nate finally made an appearance. He’d had himself relayed into the Railroad HQ before making his way up to his own quarters where I was discussing with Preston and Nick and RJ what we should do about Quincy - as we’d been hesitant to wander too far into Gunner territory over there - when he walked in. After an excited reunion between all of us, I asked, “So, I take it things are going well enough in the Institute?”

 

“More than well enough.” He cocked his head toward the doorway. “C’mon, I need to have a meeting with all of you and the Railroad, so I don’t have to keep repeating myself. I think we’re ready, though.”

 

“Ready? For what?” RJ asked warily as he stood.

 

Nate flashed a smile. “To take a stand against the Brotherhood.”

 

We all followed behind him as he lead us back down to Railroad HQ, and while I couldn’t speak for the others, my heart was simultaneously stuck in my throat and going about a mile a minute. If Nate was here saying that we were _ready_ , then … that was that. We were ready, then. Everything that we’d been slowly working towards for weeks, months even, were finally falling into place. And I would take his word that the Institute was ready to stand with us, but even so, _I_ personally didn’t feel ready for this. I did my best to keep my breathing slow and even as we descended the stairs and traversed the hallway to where Dez and company kept themselves. It seemed they were ready as we all walked in, Deacon standing from his chair, Carrington wiping his hands as he ceased what he was doing, and Glory straightening up from the wall she was leaning against. Dez herself was lighting up a fresh cigarette as she commented, “So, you wanted to hold a meeting? I assume we’re gearing up for making a move, then.”

 

He nodded as we finished filing in behind him. “That we are. First, however, there are some things we need to discuss.”

 

“Oh?” Dez replied, her stance changing from casual to stand off-ish. She probably expected some bad news.

 

Nate seemed completely non-plussed. “By now I’m sure you’re well aware of my current status in the Institute. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to come here sooner, but overseeing the transition and making sure I could set everything up the way I needed to be was important. I had a lot of decisions to make, a lot of appointments to see to, connections and networking to do. It took time and a lot of effort, but it’s finally put me in the position I am right now where I can do what I need to do, what I promised you I would do.”

 

Her eyebrows shot up. “You’re freeing the synths?”

 

He held up his hand. “I’m giving them the choice. If they wish to leave the Institute and seek a life for themselves up here on the surface, they are able to do so. _However_ , if they don’t want to leave, then I will not force them to do so. True freedom, I think you will all agree, is the freedom to make your own choices.”

 

Glory bristled, her voice low and even but her tone dangerous. “So my people will continue to be slaves?”

 

“Far from it. Any synths who choose to stay will be on equal footing as anyone else in the Institute. They will be able to pursue further education, should they wish, and any job they take will be well compensated just as it would be for a non-synth. Should they choose to leave at any time, they will be allowed to, just as any synth who chooses to return will be accepted back. This decision they make is not binding, and I felt it appropriate to allow them the freedom to change it.” He turned back to Dez and asked, “I know when we agreed that I would free the synths, you were thinking that I would turn them all loose on the Commonwealth. And, to be honest, that was my initial thought as well. But in talking with the synths themselves, I realised … that not _all_ of them wanted to leave. Not because they didn’t think of their situations as slavery, simply because they preferred the safety of the Institute over the wilds of the Commonwealth. And if I were to force them into a situation they wouldn’t have chosen, is that not the same as forcing them to stay where they do not want to be? It’s still removing their autonomy either way.”

 

Dez breathed out a stream of smoke through her nostrils, taking another drag before she murmured, “Freedom is the right to choose … without the possibility of choice, and the exercise of choice, a man is not a man.” Stubbing out her cigarette, she chuckled as she commented, “Well, Bullseye, it seems you’ve not only followed our agreement to the letter but also the spirit, even if it’s not exactly what either of us were expecting.”

 

The room was silent before a moment before Glory piped up with, “Thank you.” We turned to see the heavy agent crack a small smile before she added, “Thank you for doing this for them.”

 

Carrington sighed as he commented, “Now all we have to do is figure out how to handle the Brotherhood.”

 

“Well, wait a minute,” I interjected, “before we even get onto the topic of the Brotherhood as a whole …” I turned to Glory and asked, “You really believe a person has a right to know if they’re a synth or not?”

 

She nodded firmly. “Absolutely.”

 

“Why do you ask?” Dez inquired.

 

I took a breath, realising that I hadn’t really told anyone other than Nate and Nick. “Because Paladin Danse is a synth.”

 

Deacon immediately burst out laughing. “Are you serious? _Danse_? That old tin can?”

 

“Yep. Institute designation M7-97.”

 

“Wait, M7-97?” Dez asked, her mouth slightly agape.

 

I nodded. “Why?”

 

She was quiet for a moment before she answered softly, “He was my first mission. Sam and I, we took him to Dr. Amari for new memories and then scurried him out of the Commonwealth as quickly as we could. We never knew what happened after he touched down in the Capitol.” She chuckled before she added, “Wouldn’t have thought he’d fall in with the Brotherhood down there.”

 

“Choice works both ways, I guess,” I commented, my inner geek trilling at getting more backstory than what was available in the game and the wikis. “Especially if you don’t know your own past.”

 

“In that case, he _needs_ to know,” Glory insisted. “He’s fighting against his own kind, if we just leave him without that knowledge …”

 

Nate held up a hand, “I agree, Glory.” He paused before he continued, “While not quite on the same level, Sturges acclimated to the knowledge fairly well. And, should Danse need support, I know he’ll find a strong network of people here ready and willing to take him in and help him.”

 

I tapped my chin with my finger as I thought. “We’ll have to separate him from Arthur, somehow. I know _he_ won’t take the news well and it’ll probably make things more difficult for Danse.”

 

“An even bigger question is how we get both of them down from that ship,” Nick piped up. “It should go without saying, revealing your true position on the Prydwyn itself would be nothing short of suicide, at best.”

 

“So we have to come up with a reason for _them_ to come to _us_ …” I posited out loud.

 

Deacon snorted. “Shouldn’t be too hard to get Maxson off that flying boat. Not if Oracle’s involved.”

 

My brows furrowed as I asked, “What do you mean?”

 

“C’mon, I saw the way he was watching you during that meeting we had. And how he was looking at you during that little tour he gave you after …”

 

I shook my head. “He knows I’m with someone. Granted, he doesn’t know _who_ , but he knows I’m taken.”

 

“Sure, whatever you say,” Deacon quipped with a wink.

 

Exasperated, I couldn’t even think of a retort, but Nate saved me from it anyway. “Regardless, we need to appeal to _both_ of them and have them away from the ship at the same time. Otherwise, I’m afraid Maxson might get suspicious if Danse just up and disappears.”

 

“He’s not dumb, far from it,” I confirmed. “Especially once we show our cards, if Danse has already disappeared, he’ll put two and two together pretty quick.”

 

“You really think he’ll figure out this Paladin Danse is a synth that quickly?” Carrington asked. “If Danse leaves, why wouldn’t he think he left of his own volition for some other reason?”

 

I chuckled. “Because Danse _bleeds_ Brotherhood. It’s his whole life, he’s dedicated everything to it, especially after the guy he signed up with got killed by a super mutant. There’s no way Danse would just leave like that without a good reason, and … that’s really about the only way he would. Arthur knows that, he recognises Danse as one of his best soldiers, he would definitely be missed, and he’d pretty quickly figure out what’s going on once he knows we haven’t exactly been on the up and up. It would be way too much of a coincidence.” After a moment or two of silence, I asked, “Nate, do you think Danse would accompany you on a mission?”

 

He shrugged. “I don’t see why he wouldn’t, especially if I frame it in a way like he was paying back the whole thing I did at ArcJet. It would just be a matter of getting word to him.”

 

“Okay, then. We’ll have to come up with some specifics, and we’ll have to time everything just right, but if we can get Danse down here and sequester him with you at some location nearby, and bring down Arthur at about the same time to meet with me, I think we can pull this off.”

 

“Well wait, how are we going to get Arthur down here?” Nate asked.

 

Biting my lip, I figured there was nothing else for it. “I can always tell him we’re interested in a more … tangible alliance.”

 

Nate chuckled. “Yeah, that should bring him running. What about me not being there? I mean, if Danse is coming down for me, and we have to keep them separate, I can’t be there for the meeting. Won’t he think it’s a little suspicious?”

 

“Probably, but … I don’t plan on keeping the guise up for long. I’ve done my best to keep the falsehoods to a minimum when dealing with him, I’m hoping that being open and honest will help us in the end. Or, at least, not hurt anything further. It’s going to be a difficult meeting either way, though.”

 

Nick piped up then. “If Nate isn’t going to be there in that meeting with you, then I want to be there. I don’t like the thought of you all alone with Maxson.”

 

“Same here,” RJ interjected. “Granted I haven’t met the guy, but I’ve heard about him, heard about him plenty in the Capitol. They say he killed a Deathclaw single-handedly when he was 13. Of course, dunno if that’s really true or not …”

 

“It is,” I confirmed. “It’s how he got that scar on his face.”

 

“Then I definitely don’t want you alone with him,” Nate said. “In addition to Nick and RJ, I want to give you X6-88 as a bodyguard.”

 

“X6?” I asked, a little bewildered. “Isn’t a courser a little bit overkill?”

 

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But against someone like Maxson, I don’t want to risk it. I would like to think he’d be smart enough to not assault or attempt to kill the Major general of the Minutemen - especially if he’s inside the Castle - but I’d rather not take that chance.”

 

I supposed there wasn’t much to be argued against with that, so I dropped it. We spent the rest of the afternoon going over our plan, the specifics and the timing, before Nate relayed back to the Institute in order to recruit X6. We were going to let everything lie as it was and kick off the plan in the morning, so we all went to bed that night in an attempt to get as much rest as possible. If that was to be had, of course. I was filled with nervous energy, my mind racing about as much as my heart as I mentally composed what I wanted to say to Arthur and how I wanted to do this. In between the small fits of sleep I managed to snatch, I was mentally cataloguing every single detail of information I could remember about Arthur Maxson, the Brotherhood of Steel, and Owyn and Sarah Lyons. I had to call upon every single little memory I had of Fallout 3, any tiny bit of information I could use as a weapon. If only this would work, Arthur wouldn’t even know what hit him. I could almost feel sorry for him, for that little kid living in the Citadel, no real friends to speak of, no one his own age to play with. He never really got the chance to have a normal childhood, his was filled with schooling and instruction, no real love and nurturing. But Arthur was no longer that child, he was a man. A man who would have no hesitation to pull the trigger on a faithful soldier once he found out that soldier was a synth, never mind my own significant other. And as much as I felt for Arthur and that little kid that he’d been, if it came down to it, I’d choose Nick every single time, no question or hesitation.

 

The next morning, I wanted nothing more than a shot or two of some whiskey for a little liquid courage. But no matter what bravado it would give me, I was afraid I would end up making a damn fool out of myself in front of _Arthur Maxson_ and so I abstained, though I eyed RJ’s personal bottle awfully hard.

 

I dressed immaculately in my Minutemen uniform, making sure it was clean and as pressed as it was ever going to be in the wasteland. A quick brush of the hair and I fought the urge to throw up as I handed the message off to Drummer Boy to run over to the Prydwyn, imploring Arthur to join me at the Castle to discuss some business. After he left - Jenny tailing after him, as always - and Deacon dressed up as Scott Ross the Minuteman again and joined Nate as they made their own way to the floating ship to follow up separately with Danse. The plan was they would wait until the couriers dropped off the message and Arthur left and then they would board the Prydwyn and find Danse and have him accompany them to what they had deemed would be a safe enough location to break the news. They hadn’t told anyone where they were taking them and we deemed it for the best, so that none of us could be tricked or coerced into revealing this. I didn’t even know where they were taking him afterward, but I trusted their judgement on the matter.

 

X6 had relayed directly into the General’s office, and he stood as a silent watcher in the corner as RJ halfway lounged on his bed, fingering his rifle loosely, looking casual but still ready to spring into action should he need to. Nick leaned against the wall, smoking a cigarette silently as I paced, trying to remember how to _breathe_ as it felt like butterflies were zinging around in my stomach. While I hoped my message was enough to bring Arthur running, there was a little thread of fear that trilled through me that he wouldn’t, that he would ignore my message, or worse insist we go to him. If he did either of those things, we were toast. In that case, we would end up in an all out war with the Brotherhood, a war that, while we could fight it, would be very costly and unnecessary. And it would be all my fault.

 

Within the hour, however, there was the telltale whir of a vertibird, and my heart jumped back up in my throat as I knew exactly what that meant. Arthur had taken the bait, and sure enough the epitome of proud arrogance was striding through that door in all his magnificent, coat-clad glory. “Major general,” he began, his eyebrow quirking as he realised Nate wasn’t there. “I’m sorry, I thought the General, himself, would be here.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry, he couldn’t be here, something important came up.”

 

“More important than a meeting to discuss a solid alliance between the Minutemen and the Brotherhood?”

 

He sounded a bit incredulous, and as I motioned toward the table and entreated him to sit, I hoped I kept any hint of a nervous tremour out of my voice. “I apologise. However, he’s given me the ability to speak for the Minutemen in his stead.”

 

“I see,” Arthur replied simply, his eyes flicking toward X6 standing in the corner and Nick, who was undoubtedly staring him down just as hard as he was returning it, if Arthur’s intense gaze was anything to go off of. “And exactly who are they all _representing_? I remember him from last time, the one on the bed. But I can’t recall ever seeing these other two _gentlemen_.”

 

“Well, allow me to introduce you, then. I didn’t get a chance to introduce you to RJ MacCready last time. He works as bodyguard and consultant for the Minutemen. Nick Valentine, here,” I gestured to Nick, “is a detective out of Diamond City who assists and consults on missions. And, of course, I would be remiss to not introduce you to X6-88, Institute courser.”

 

Arthur’s eyes hardened as he took in the potential threat in front of him. “So this is it, then? Betrayal? Assassination?”

 

_Shit!_ “No! No one’s assassinating you, Arthur.” I took a breath. “Look, I have done my best to be completely up front and honest with you. However, there are some things I’ve had to gloss over and a thing or two here and there that I’ve had to lie about.”

 

He nodded tightly, leaning back ever so slightly in his chair. “So you’re with the Institute, then?”

 

I folded my hands on the table in front of me. “No, Arthur. We _are_ the Institute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Forgot to add - small thanks to Thomas Jefferson for that quote. You're still a douchebag, though.)


	25. Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You were promised action. I hope this delivers. :)

_Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel,_

_Through the wastelands evermore,_

_The scattered souls will feel the hell,_

_Bodies wasted on the shores ..._

 

_So now we fly ever free,_

_We're free before the thunderstorm,_

_On towards the wilderness,_

_Our quest carries on ..._

 

_~~ "Through the Fire and Flames", DragonForce_

 

 

\-----------

 

Arthur looked at me incredulously for a moment, his eyes hardening as he said slowly, “I see. So … all of that information you fed me about your cousin’s son being kidnapped and the Institute being behind it, that was all bullshit, then?”

 

“No. His son really was kidnapped, and it was the Institute behind it, but things are much more complicated than just that. Including the fact that Nate isn’t my cousin.”

 

This seemed to confuse him even further. “Then what is he to you?”

 

“A friend. A friend that I’ve known for far longer than he’s even known me, someone who was willing to help and guide him toward the most optimal resolution of the circumstances in the Commonwealth, between the Minutemen, the Railroad, the Institute, and the Brotherhood.” Arthur stayed silent, so I continued. “Nate spent far longer in that cryo chamber than he thought. When he initially emerged from the Vault, he thought it was a matter of days, perhaps weeks at most since Shaun had been kidnapped. In reality, it had been sixty years, and his son had become Director of the Institute. Shaun was the one who triggered Nate’s release, not a random mechanical failure.”

 

“And so the father has sided with his son, has he?”

 

“No. He has taken over for him. Shaun was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and he passed away last month, promoting Nate to Director before he did so. With this opportunity, Nate and I have worked tirelessly to create a balance, an equilibrium between allowing Institute scientists to continue reasonable research to help the people of the Commonwealth without doing so at their expense or continuing unethical procedures.”

 

“And the Brotherhood?”

 

“The Commonwealth has room for the Brotherhood … provided you don’t interfere with our rebuilding and stabilisation efforts.”

 

“But you keep all your technology.”

 

I chuckled. “Is that really so different than how the Brotherhood hoards it?” Arthur was silent for a moment and I took that as an opening. “We don’t _want_ to fight you, Arthur. If you would, we would gladly count you amoung our allies. However, there would have to be concessions, concessions I’m not sure you’ll go for. And in that case, we would ask kindly that you leave the Commonwealth.”

 

It was his turn to laugh. “You really think we aren’t willing to fight? The Brotherhood _is_ an army, we are far more capable than I think you give us credit.”

 

“Oh no, I know you’re capable. This is why we've kept our position secret, our motivations our own, until the time was just right, until all of our united forces are more than enough to take on you, the Citadel, or anything the West Coast could throw at us. We’re not soldiers. We are more than that. We’re a whole network of spies and infiltrators, backed up by heavies and fighters and, more importantly, supported by the Commonwealth itself. You take us on, you’re not just fighting the Minutemen and the Railroad and the Institute. You’re fighting _everyone_. It’s an uphill battle that you’re not capable of winning. Because while you’ve been busy trying to seek out and hoard what technology you can find, we’ve been building up our reputation with the people. The _only_ way you can win this is if you raze this entire region to the ground, and at that point, you’re far worse than any of us. And I’d like to think better of you, Arthur.”

 

He snorted. “ _You_ would like to think better of _me_? You, who ally yourself with synths and synth sympathisers.”

 

“Yes. Because despite all your bravado and your confidence, I still remember that timid little kid in the Citadel.”

 

Arthur’s eyes narrowed. “And just what would you know about that?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous, sending a trill of fear through my spine. I was encroaching on some potentially dangerous territory here, I had to be careful with how I went about this. Arthur was ready to steamroll on, full speed ahead, however. “Just who _are_ you, anyway?”

 

I smirked, fixing him with a stare as I replied. “I’m the Vault Dweller. The Chosen One. The Lone Wanderer. The Courier. The Sole Survivor. I’m everyone and no one. I know every little thing about this world and its history - both large and small - even though I’m not from here. I’ve seen everything, done everything, and I know how this can end and how to make it better, and that’s why I’m helping Nate the way I am.” I folded my arms and sat back in my chair as I continued. “We’ve met before, though you didn’t know it was me, it didn’t look like me, and it wasn’t the same as I am now. Do you remember? About ten years ago, in the Citadel, coming across someone looking for information about retrieving a G.E.C.K. from Vault 87 …”

 

His eyes widened, his mouth gaping slightly at the shock, and I couldn’t miss the small gasp from the bed where RJ was currently posted up, the only other indication of a reaction of some kind in the room. “Ruby?”

 

I shrugged. “If that was her name, yes. Funnily enough, that’s what I named my Lone Wanderer …” I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. “So you do remember, then.”

 

“But … how? Ruby … she would surely be older than you …”

 

Snorting, I commented, “I’ll choose to take that as a compliment, Arthur Maxson, as realistically, we should be about the same age right now. As for the how, well … that part is a little more complicated.”

 

Arthur folded his arms, but not in an aggressive way, more in a curious, ‘how the hell is she going to explain this’ type of gesture. “Do tell.”

 

_This is going to be interesting._ “As I mentioned before, I’m not from this world. And by ‘this world’ I don’t just mean the Commonwealth or the Capitol or the remnants of the United States in general. I’m from a completely different plane, one that shares part of your history but then … diverges. In our world, we didn’t have the Great War, the bombs never dropped, and technology was innovated in different ways. One of these ways … was video gaming. Over time, we were able to develop whole worlds, storylines, lore. And one of those, one in particular that I liked to play, was called Fallout. It was that series of games that follows particular protagonists through _this_ world.” Chuckling, I added, “The latest one, Fallout 4, follows the Sole Survivor … Nate. That’s how I know him. I know him because I’ve _been_ him. I’ve directed his footsteps in countless simulations following his trek through the Commonwealth, but unfortunately, game mechanics are limited. There are only a few different ways the future of the Commonwealth can play out, and quite frankly, none of them are really satisfactory. If he sides with the Institute, it’s at the expense of everyone on the surface, and he’ll be forced to destroy the Railroad and the Brotherhood. Should he side with anyone else, it will involve nuking the Institute and - if it’s not the Minutemen he sides with - it requires wiping out either the Brotherhood or the Railroad as well, depending on who he ends up fighting for.”

 

“So this … _ending_ … this goal you’re working towards now … you really think it’s the best solution? Why? What makes it so much better than handing over the reigns to the Brotherhood of Steel and allowing us to bring order to this chaos?”

 

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t, now would I? Believe me, I’ve played this through so many times I’ve lost count, and in the game there _so much_ potential … if only we could set aside our differences and work _together_ for humanity’s future. Otherwise … there is no real victory. Only stalemate, at best. And that pales in comparison to what _could_ be.”

 

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Idealistic, hmm? And why should I trust you? Just because you know a few things …”

 

“Oh I know more than that.” I leaned forward again, setting my folded arms against the table and cocking my head to the side as I eyed him. “Tell me, Arthur, do you still remember how Sarah Lyons taught you how to kill a man by stabbing him in the kidneys? Do you remember how you fell in love with her?” I propped my head up with one of my hands as I watched him carefully, watched him connect the dots and realise more and more that what I was telling him was the truth. “Do you still write stories?”

 

Blustering, he interjected, “I hardly think that’s relevant …”

 

“But it is, Arthur. It is because that’s how best I remember you. It is because, no matter how much of a raging douchebag asshole you are now, I can’t help but see that little kid running around the Citadel, timid and shy and just wanting a friend instead of an instructor.” I would have been lying if I said that the blush that crept up on his cheeks didn’t bring me some sort of pleasure, and I could only smile at him. “This world, this entire world and everything and everyone in it … I love it. I love it with every fibre of my being. I’ll fight for it, _have_ fought for it, and I’ll continue to fight for the future it _deserves_. That’s all I want. And we can have it if we work together. But even if you don’t want to, we can still have it … if you just walk away and leave us be.”

 

“And why should I? Why should I just blindly trust your word and hand over control of the Brotherhood on a whim?”

 

“Because I don’t want _control_ of the Brotherhood. Just cooperation. Cooperation and an understanding that synths and non-feral ghouls are left alone.”

 

Fire flashed in his eyes. “Really? You expect me to simply be fine with the existence of these _abominations_?”

 

“Abominations? Really? Tell me, Arthur, who started the Great War? Humans. Who dropped the nukes that devastated this world? Humans. Who created the FEV that lead to the creation of super mutants who plague this wasteland over 200 years later? Humans. Who makes up the vast majority of raider gangs and Gunners who terrorise the Commonwealth? That’s right … humans. Seems to me that humans are the real abominations, humans who kill and maim for caps or food or supplies, or even humans just like yourself who simply stand by and do little to help. Tell me, how long did it take you to abandon Owyn Lyons’ example? How much pressure from the West Coast and the Midwest did it take? Did you do so gladly? Or did they beat you down until you’re simply an extension of their will, a hollow shell of the little kid I grew to know so well.”

 

He growled at me. “You know nothing.”

 

“I think I do. Because what you do in Fallout 4, what you’re doing now … I think if I were to somehow go back in time, that little kid would be disappointed in what you’ve become, burdened so heavily by a legacy you can’t even see straight, who just does what you’re told by your higher ups because that’s what a good Maxson does. But is it? Is it really? Would Roger Maxson be proud you simply following orders, or would he be more proud if you were to carve your own path, make your own legacy? After all, that’s exactly what _he_ did … defied his orders, took over Mariposa, and deserted the United States Army. If it wasn’t for him, there wouldn’t even be a Brotherhood of Steel. And after everything that’s happened since it was formed, I think it’s time it takes a new direction. And you … _you_ can spearhead that. As the last Maxson, you have the intelligence and the charisma to do it … if you can only separate yourself from your superiors and start thinking for yourself.” The room was quiet, and I took that to mean he was thinking, which was a good thing. So, I decided to try to tip the scales just a little more. “I understand that you want to prevent the further destruction of the human race, that you say you have the best interests of the Commonwealth at heart, but you have to ask yourself … what _is_ best? In all your time here, how often have you come down from that ship? Once or twice, max? Have you even bothered to get to know the people here? Because I have. I’ve gone to settlements, I’ve meet their representatives here at the Castle, hell I’ve fought _for_ them. Now ask yourself, between the two of us … who do _they_ trust more? Who knows them best? Because, granted, you’ve done some amazing things. You’ve defeated the Enclave, upgraded the Brotherhood’s power armour, procured Vertibirds, overseen the building of the Prydwyn … how much more could you accomplish if you weren’t being held back?”

 

Arthur sat back further in his chair, stroking his beard as he considered what I was saying. Should he decline, we wouldn’t really need him. Hell, if he put up a fight, we could easily oust them from the Commonwealth. Without the beryllium agitator, their one trump card - Liberty Prime - was little more than a pile of junk. And since they didn’t even have Dr. Li, they had precisely zero hope of powering him up or utilising his nuclear arsenal. They had power armour, sure, and laser weapons … but that was about it. Meanwhile, we had the forces of three separate factions and the support of the entire Commonwealth behind us. Even if they were somehow able to defeat us, they would face the ire of every single settlement and would be summarily run out of town. He had to know this, he was too smart not to. But would he really be willing to side with us over everything else he knew?

 

Taking in a deep breath, he finally asked, “Do you remember our first interaction in the Citadel?”

 

Chuckling, I repeated, “Relax, Squire. I don’t bite.”

 

The very edge of his mouth quirked upward in a half-smile, and for the first time it seemed like it actually traveled all the way up to his eyes. “You remember what I told you, then?”

 

“You told me the Citadel didn’t get many visitors, and then you quoted from the Codex.”

 

“‘Shield yourself from those not bound to you by steel, for they are the blind. Aid them when you can, but lose not sight of yourself.’ However, for all my planning and ingenuity, you have outsmarted and outmaneuvered me soundly.” He drummed his fingers on the table as he asked cautiously, “I’m sure you know about what we brought up from the Capitol …”

 

“Liberty Prime? Nothing but a bucket of bolts without the beryllium agitator, which the Institute has, along with Dr. Li.”

 

It was his turn to chuckle. “You’ve truly thought of everything, haven’t you?”

 

“I told you, Arthur, I know what happens here. And I know how to make it even better, how to make _everyone’s_ lives better, yours included. I know this is not exactly traditional for you, that it’s a deviance from what you know, but … sometimes you need a change to realise your true potential.”

 

“And why should I trust you over anyone else? How is it any different than following someone else’s orders, what you say I do now? Am I supposed to simply trade one master for another?”

 

“Because I don’t want to tell you what to do with the Brotherhood. Whatever you do, I know you’ll be successful because that’s how all Maxsons are. All I really ask is that you allow the Minutemen, the Railroad, and the Institute to exist as is and, if you are so inclined, assist in a larger mission or two should we need it.”

 

“ _Do_ you need it?”

 

I shrugged. “We could handle it without your help, but it would be easier if we all worked together.”

 

“And what is it we would be _doing_ together?”

 

“There’s a large gathering of three different raider groups who have taken over Nuka World and enslaved the settlers there. For now, their leader is unambitious and has no intentions of staking a claim in the Commonwealth, or even taking over the rest of the park, but sooner or later someone will come along and usurp him and if it’s not who I need it to be then they will start gaining power and taking over settlements and that I cannot have. Not to mention I don’t think you’ll want to deal with that should it extend down into the Capitol.”

 

“What if I just take my ship and go home?” he asked, almost coyly if Arthur Maxson could be said to be coy in any way.

 

“Then we take care of it ourselves, with perhaps a little more effort and a little more bloodshed.”

 

“So you’re already thinking past us, are you?” He ran his tongue over the top of his teeth as he shook his head. “I underestimated you, Major general. And despite everything, I want to trust you, just like I did in Ruby. But what guarantee do I have that you’ll do right by me and the Brotherhood? That you won’t just stab me in the back the moment I turn around?”

 

“Because a prosperous, _unbigoted_ Brotherhood is best for everyone.”

 

“Bigoted? Really? Is that what you’re calling my position on synths?”

 

“And what would you have me call it?”

 

“ _Reasonable_.”

 

“Why is that? Why is it reasonable to simply hate someone based on who or what they are?”

 

“Because they’re dangerous. And they aren’t some _one_ , they’re some _thing_.”

 

Anger started to seethe just beneath the surface, and it took everything in me to take a deep breath and not lose it on the pompous jerk in front of me. “And what about humans?”

 

“What about humans?”

 

“You know … humans who murder, rape, pillage, maim. Humans who dropped the bombs and created this wasteland. _Humans_ did this.”

 

“And they created synths.”

 

“They created sentient beings. Sentient beings who deserved to be judged on their individual actions, not as a whole.” I shifted in my seat and took another breath. “Remember when I told you that my world and yours shares a history until a certain point? That we avoided the Great War?” He nodded and I continued. “Just because we didn’t nuke each other into oblivion doesn’t mean we’re peaceful. Since our divergence there’s been wars in every decade. Terrorism attacks, genocide, war crimes, atrocities. And yet any sane, thinking individual recognises the difference between a corrupt government or a terrorists sect and the innocent people they hide behind. How is that truly any different than judging synths on an individual basis? I’m not asking for special treatment, I’m asking for _equal_ treatment.”

 

“But, their programming …”

 

“Because people can’t be programmed? Can’t be brainwashed? Can’t be so tightly controlled by others than they forget how to think for themselves?”

 

He laughed sarcastically. “And that’s how you see me? Unable to think for myself?”

 

I shrugged. “If you feel the shoe fits, feel free to lace that bitch up and wear it.”

 

A snort emanated from RJ’s general direction and Arthur’s eyes flicked over to the bed before they settled back on me. “So. Individualised judgement.”

 

“Is that so much to ask?”

 

He licked his lips briefly as he clarified, “And should I encounter any synths who have become raiders or …”

 

“I would expect you to handle it as you would if they were 100% human. Nothing more, nothing less. I would do the same and I would expect any Minuteman worth their salt to do so as well.” Silence blanketed the room for a moment before I added, “If it’s any comfort, Nate is having the synth program shut down, so there will be no more new synths added to the population.”

 

Arthur’s eyes roamed the room for a moment, flicking between me and RJ and Nick and X6, no doubt considering his options and how few they were. I’d pushed him into a corner that he hadn’t even seen coming, and that Maxson pride was undoubtedly rearing its ugly head, but there was something else there, I could tell, something just beneath the surface that was scratching, clawing to get out, and it was that side of him that I was trying my damndest to grab onto and yank to the surface. It was the same quality present in Roger Maxson when he said to hell with orders and took over Mariposa, that rebellious streak that was able to be channeled and directed toward productive means. With Roger, it had lead him to start the Brotherhood of Steel. With Arthur now … well, he had a chance to make the Brotherhood into something even bigger and better than they’d ever been, if only he would take that risk.

 

Before he got a chance to answer, however, Keats burst into the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but there’s a Vertibird on approach.”

 

My gaze at Arthur narrowed, but he shook his head. “I didn’t call for another Vertibird.”

 

“They aren’t Brotherhood, Major general. They have a skull on the side.”

 

“Gunners,” RJ breathed.

 

_Shit_. “Alright, evac any settlers into the Castle and prepare the defences.”

 

Keats nodded. “The Lieutenant general is already on it, along with our couriers.”

 

“Good.” Turning around, I addressed the courser. “X6, I want you to stay with Maxson, protect the Elder as if he was me or Nate.”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” was all he said in reply, straightening himself.

 

“RJ …” I whirled around and the former mayor was already standing. “I need you up on the wall.”

 

“On it,” was all he said before he ran out.

 

“And Nick,” I addressed the synth detective, all business. “Send word to Dez, we might need Glory for this.”

 

“Will do, doll.” And with that, he was off, angling for the steps that would take him down to Railroad HQ.

 

Arthur stood as I checked my ammo, my hands shaking slightly as I confirmed the 10mm was fully loaded and ready for action. “Do you need me?” he asked, moving the edge of his coat ever so slightly to reveal a laser pistol underneath.

 

_Should’ve known he wouldn’t come here unarmed_. “I need you to stay safe and stay alive.” I flashed him a smile that I hoped was confident. “I can’t have Elder Maxson dying on my watch, now can I?”

 

He didn’t seem particularly pleased, but he nodded, realising his position and how I didn’t want any harm to come to him. “I have a small crew in my Vertibird, they will eagerly assist you, should you ask them.”

 

Nodding as I left, I ran out into the courtyard, trying to get a sense of where the Gunners might be attacking. Why they were doing so, I couldn’t even begin to say, and from the sounds of things it seemed like they were taking advantage of their minigun. Minutemen were providing cover fire as Preston led a small group of settlers from the out building into the Castle proper through the secondary entrance facing the old diner and where we’d set the outer building. I just saw the top of the flying vehicle from over the top of the wall, and it seemed like they were intent on just trying to inflict as much damage as possible instead of landing and launching a ground assault. _What the fuck are they doing? Teasing? Feeling us out?_ I ran toward the second entrance just as Garvey crossed it, 5mm bullets hitting the ground at his heels as he brought up the rear of the settler group. “Is that it?” I shouted at him, hoping he heard me over the gunfire.

 

Preston shook his head. “There’s a couple more stuck out there with our couriers.” Another hail of bullets outside the wall, and then, “It might be safer for them to stay where they are for now, it doesn’t seem like they’re landing. If they stay flying, they should be able to ride it out, there’s enough metal for that small group to hide behind.”

 

My heart pounded in my chest as I glanced back out there, afraid for the settlers, afraid for Jenny and Drummer Boy. Jenny had always seemed so fearless, and Drummer Boy had always had a penchant for asking for riskier and more dangerous missions, but asking for them and then getting them sprung on you were two different things. _Just hold on out there._ With any luck, we could drive them away with our mortar, which I saw Keats and another Minuteman arming up at that moment. Of course, they’d have to make sure the Gunners would stay still long enough, otherwise it would be no use to fire only to miss as they were maneuvering. Their minigun slowed down and stopped, and I wondered if they were reloading or possibly preparing to leave, when I peeked my head out from around the corner of the entrance and my heart dropped.

 

They were landing.

 

As the Vertibird started to settle on the ground, I felt frozen in place and everything seemed to slow down. I gripped my gun tightly in my hand as I felt a single drop of sweat make its way down my temple and I suddenly felt like I was overheated in my long sleeved button up, vest, coat, and scarf indicative of my affiliation with the Minutemen. I gasped as my mind raced as quickly as motions seemed to slow down to match a surprisingly slow heartbeat.

 

_Ba bum._

 

Whoever was flying the Vertibird was not as well-versed as a Brotherhood soldier, because the landing was rough and shook the ground as it hit.

 

_Ba bum._

 

Gunners started to pile out, one by one, and while I expected them to come right at the Castle, they only popped off a few shots at the Minutemen on the wall before they turned and made their way toward the out building. _Fuck_. They had to have figured on using the building to buckle down in, unaware there were still people in there … and most of them would be unable to fight them off. A temporary distraction for experienced mercenaries like them.

 

_Ba bum._

 

It felt like a shock went through my body as the paralysis lifted and before I realised it, I was running. _Running!_ Out toward the building that the Gunners were headed toward, my mind suddenly quiet and still and my body on autopilot. I raised my gun and steadied it with my other hand, getting off several shots and wounding two of them, hitting one in the thigh and lower leg and the other twice in the back. Not the best shots, none of them immediately fatal, but they were down and pretty much out of commission.

 

_Ba bum._

 

The other three that were with them whirled around as they realised that someone was coming _towards_ them from the Castle, and they reached for their weapons and went to raise them, a sudden thrill of fear shooting through me before two of their heads suddenly exploded in rapid succession. _MacCready_. Had to be. Those shots were too perfect not to be that little merc, and I got off three more shots at the remaining guy, one of them going wide before the other embedded in his arm and the last in his chest, felling him.

 

_Ba bum._

 

As I sprinted through the several remaining yards between me and the out building, Jenny’s head poked out, and the runaway synth frantically motioned toward me, her and Drummer Boy suddenly appearing as if they were making to pull me in to safety. With the noise and how my ears were still ringing, I couldn’t quite make out what she was saying until it was too late.

 

_Ba bum._

 

Suddenly, it felt like fire was ripping through me, from my left flank to just under my right shoulder blade, and I was confused as I faltered and fell, watching the two Railroad agents turned Minutemen couriers fall just the same, crimson staining the front of their clothes, spreading as they gasped and trembled on the ground.

 

_Ba bum._

 

My white hair whipped around my face with force as the Gunner’s Vertibird took off, and I slowly realised that we’d taken fire from the minigun. Of the force they’d sent, they must not all have embarked, and now they were retreating as booms and hails of gunfire followed them. I couldn’t bring myself to even watch their escape, however, not between the blinding pain and the sight before me. I tried to crawl forward, assess how badly they were wounded, but my vision was growing spotty and blurring and I coughed and sputtered as I watched Drummer Boy reached out and clutch Jenny’s hand.

 

_Ba bum._

 

A swirl of beige covered what remained of my vision, and I suddenly felt weightless as I was lifted off the ground. I shook, the pain arcing through my entire body, and as I whimpered I heard a familiar, soothing voice. “Hold on, doll, I’m taking you to Carrington.”

 

“Nick,” I gasped, hot tears coursing down my cheeks as he ran into the Castle proper, carrying me. “Nick, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

 

I didn’t even know why I was apologising, what I was apologising for, but a knot of guilt tightened in my chest even as my whole world darkened, the pain and my hearing the last vestiges of my senses to leave me as I heard Nick frantically calling my name. “Just hold on, Lia. Lia?”

 

_ Ba bum. _

 

“Lia!”


	26. Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Props to anyone who spots the referenced line from M*A*S*H ;)

_I'll miss you my friend,_

_I promise my love for you will never end,_

_In your finest hour, I was there with you,_

_And without you things won't be the same ..._

 

_~~ "Really Gonna Miss You", Smokey Robinson_

 

 

\-----------

 

I felt like I was hovering, in a haze, a fog of pain and confusion and I couldn’t fight my way out of it. I could only lie there - was I lying down? I couldn’t tell for sure - and just let whatever would happen to me … happen. Voices were all around me, some frantic and loud, others measured and calm, but I couldn’t even pick out who they were. Something stung my arm, and then it felt like my arm was on fire, but all I could do was whimper until it passed. If anyone comforted me, I couldn’t tell as I drifted back into darkness, the sweet, cold embrace of unconsciousness.

 

Coming back out of it, it seemed like little had changed, other than the voices had calmed down somewhat, to match the low hum of activity. I realised that I couldn’t hear gunshots or explosions anymore, and I wondered how much time had passed and what had happened. Had we been able to get to the settlers? Were Drummer Boy and Jenny saved? I fought through my last few, hazy memories, and the last I could remember they had still be alive, but wounded like me. I struggled to open my eyes, blinking heavily and slowly as the world eventually slid into focus. The pain was a dull ache, still present but improved. I was leery of moving that much yet, though, afraid that it would suddenly come back, and I would not be looking forward to that level of pain, ever. Like sharp, hot knives stabbing and embedding themselves in my body. And a spray from a minigun like that? It was a wonder I was alive.

 

My left arm felt odd, like there was something wrapped around it, and it was stretched out beside me in what felt like a very deliberate way. I turned my head, but before I could even see what was going on with myself, I saw Glory sitting beside me, a bandage around her arm and some sort of tubing coming out of it, like an IV. _Oh no, Glory, too?_ “What … what happened to you?” I asked, my voice soft and cracking and my throat incredibly dry.

 

The heavy agent jumped slightly, as if she was surprised to see me awake, then shot me a reassuring grin. “This isn’t for me, this is for _you_.” She motioned toward the tubing and I followed it until I saw that it connected to _my_ arm. It finally dawned on me then what it was for.

 

_Blood transfusion. But are we even compatible?_

 

As if she heard my thought, she assured me, “All synths are engineered to be universal donors. It makes things easier for the Institute. And, ultimately, it makes things easier for us.”

 

She gave me a wink and I let my head loll back to where it had been lying, the dark stone of the ceiling providing a neutral background as I tried to kickstart my still sluggish mind. A piece of hair had fallen over my face but I couldn’t bring myself to move enough to even push it away. I tried to take an accounting of my body and how it all felt, moving my feet just a little to confirm they worked, but I was afraid of pushing my body too much. That raging soreness was still there, having replaced the sharp fire, and I did not want to tempt fate too much. It was one of the few things that my mind was able to process in its current state of feeling like it was slogging on through a thick mud pit.

 

Suddenly, a soft hand moved my hair out of my way, and I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as I saw who it was. “Nick.” The louder I attempted to make my voice, the weaker it sounded, and I internally cringed at how pitiful it was.

 

“Hey, doll. You gave us quite the scare.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” he countered, stroking my hair. “You saved the remaining settlers in that building. Despite the risk, I’m very proud of you.”

 

_The settlers_ … “What about Jenny? And Drummer Boy?” His hand stilled and his face fell and tears pooled in my eyes as I realised the truth … but I still needed to hear it, needed to know for sure, needed to know that this wasn’t just my anxiety-riddled mind making up the worst case scenario. “Nick, what happened to them?”

 

He shook his head. “We tried. Carrington did his best, but … it was too late.”

 

I raised my right hand to clasp my mouth as the tears started to fall. _No. No no no no no no no this is wrong, this is all wrong! Why? Why!_ I was no longer cognizant of the things around me as it felt like the whole world collapsed in on itself, swirling around me. This wasn’t right, it didn’t feel right at all. I had to do something. Anything! There had to be _something_ I could do, something to make things right. The overwhelming guilt swallowed me whole as I felt like I was choking, like I couldn’t breathe. It felt so similar to a panic attack, and yet the emotions surrounding it were different, and I was lost in the intense wave. Someone grabbed my hand from my mouth and I tried to pull it back, but they were firm, and suddenly it felt like fire had returned as it licked up my arm, my whole body trembling as it spread. The last thing I saw was Carrington holding a syringe, and after that I was pushed right back into darkness.

 

The next thing I could coherently remember was the soft crackle and pop of logs in a fire. I actually felt some pillows underneath my head and blankets wrapped around me, so I must have been moved from Carrington’s medical table. The room was quiet, and I suddenly panicked that I was alone, but when I opened my eyes, it was only a few moments before Nick was back at my side. He helped me sit up, propping some pillows behind my back, before he offered me some purified water. My throat was even drier than before, if such a thing seemed possible, but I only got down about half the can before he took it. “Don’t wanna overdo things. How are you feeling?”

 

I felt dizzy and shaky, though the pain was at a minimum. Instead of focusing on that, however, my mind thought it appropriate to immediately remember the sum total of events that had lead to this and I teared up again. Shaking my head, I said softly, “It’s my fault, Nick. If it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t have even been there.”

 

The soft scrape of boots across stone signalled that someone else was in the room, and I wiped my eyes just in time to see Nate circle the bed and sit down next to me. I wondered when he’d gotten back as he offered me a soft smile. “Hey, listen to me, Lia. War … war never changes. And if there’s one thing I know about war, it’s that there are two hard and fast rules. Rule number one … is that people will die.” I went to look away as tears started to fall, but he reached out and gently tilted my face back to him so he could look me in the eyes. “And rule number two … is that there’s nothing you can do about rule number one.” I didn’t want to accept what he was saying was the truth, even though I knew it probably was, even though I trusted him far more than I even trusted myself. I felt ashamed. Disappointed in myself didn’t even begin to cover it. I had been gambling with real lives this whole time, and I had finally lost, and this burden of responsibility felt too much to carry. Nate seemed to understand as he pulled me into his arms and let me fall apart, much like I did for him when Shaun died. Rubbing my back, he murmured, “You did nothing wrong, I promise you. Drummer Boy and Jenny, they knew the risks involved with what they do. And they took on even more risks when they started working with the Minutemen. Living in this wasteland, people aren’t promised forever. But they made the best of the time they had, and I don’t think they’d regret a thing.”

 

Another hand laid itself on my shoulder, and it was Nick’s turn to offer comfort as he said, “Remember what I told you after Nate came back from that courser fight injured? Death doesn’t care about carefully laid plans, doll. We could all die tomorrow. Living here, we all accept that risk, and they were no different.”

 

“But I was supposed to save them! I-I was supposed to save everyone!” My voice cracked as I sobbed and stuttered, the grief taking hold and refusing to let go.

 

“Shhh,” Nate implored. “You can’t save everyone, Lia. It’s impossible. I’ve learned that the hard way. But what you’ve done here, what you’ve managed to pull together, it’s still an amazing success. And I’m very proud of you.” When the shaking sobs finally downgraded to the occasional sniffle, he pulled back and wiped away the remaining tears. He eyed me curiously for a moment before he asked, “Are you cold?”

 

I shrugged. “A little. Not much. More dizzy than anything else. And thirsty as hell.” I was pretty shaky, but I had long chalked that up to the situation at hand. I was an emotional person, and that often seemed to affect my physical body, so it was nothing new for me.

 

Nate’s eyes grew a little darker as he stood, obviously taking it differently than I was. “I’m gonna go get Carrington.”

 

I didn’t know why the sudden shift in Nate, but it wasn’t more than a couple of minutes between the time he left and when he arrived back in the room with Carrington. The brusque doctor took his job seriously as he examined me, asking me questions and giving me a good looking over. He sighed as he finished, commenting, “You lost a lot of blood with your injuries. Unfortunately, Glory’s given you all that’s safe for her to donate, and I don’t have anyone else around. I’d have to test your blood and _hope_ I have someone to match.”

 

“You can use me,” someone else said from the cracked door, and I looked over to see Danse standing there.

 

“Danse? What are you doing here?” I was more than a little confused. _I’ve missed some things, apparently …_

 

“I came back here with the General and Scott. I mean, Deacon,” he corrected himself. “It doesn’t feel right to continue with the Brotherhood, and they offered to take me in while I … come to terms with who I am.” He paused a moment before he added, “If this is how I can help, with me being what I am, then so be it.”

 

As we were both prepped, I realised then that I was changed out of my Minutemen uniform and into a modest, sleeveless nightgown. I wondered briefly where my uniform was and who had put me in what I was wearing, but with a needle looming, that line of thinking didn’t go very far. Instead, I felt like I might throw up, and if it wasn’t for Nick sitting next to me and pulling me close, I probably would have. Carrington opted for using my right arm this time, I suppose to give my other arm a rest, and so a chair was pulled close to the bed so the former Brotherhood soldier could be comfortable. I tried my best to stay still, to breathe deeply and evenly, but I still flinched when I felt that sting of the metal piercing my skin. _Really? I can take fire from a minigun, how are needles still freaking me out?_ Nobody else seemed to notice, or if they did they didn’t say anything, and once we were set up Carrington left to tend to other patients. I wasn’t the only one of the wounded who had survived, just the most seriously wounded. A few Minutemen had some flesh wounds, and X6 had picked up some shrapnel while defending Arthur. Drummer Boy and Jenny were the only fatalities of the assault.

 

Between Nick and Nate and Danse, I got caught up on everything that happened since I’d been wounded. Apparently, right as I’d dashed out to help defend the settlers left in the building, Nick and Glory had emerged from the bowels of the Castle, ready for a fight. By the time they’d made it to the entrance, the Gunners were already starting to retreat, and that was when they let loose one final burst from their minigun and hit me and Drummer Boy and Jenny. Glory didn’t let them leave without pummelling their Vertibird with her own minigun, and while they’d tried to return fire, she ended up crippling their vehicle. They managed to limp away with it, but they likely didn’t get very far before they would have had to abandon it. The Brotherhood’s Vertibird had helped chase them away, but we didn’t know if they finished them up or not as it soon returned, picked up Arthur, and flew back to the Prydwyn. _Great, so we have no idea what they’re going to do._ Nate and Deacon and Danse had returned to the Castle just after the attack, as the Brotherhood’s Vertibird was leaving, Danse newly recruited for our side as Nate and Deacon had been able to successfully convince him that just because he was a synth, that didn’t mean he was inherently bad, and that his actions determined who he was. They’d missed all the action, however, and Nate was pissed. Not that we’d lost people or that others had gotten injured - though he wasn’t happy about that - but more so that the Gunners had dared to test us. He was ready and raring to go after them, but first things first, he had to make sure of our situation with the Brotherhood and also regroup and see what information I had for him about what he would be going into. That was, of course, when he’d found out that I’d been injured, and all future plans were put on hold until I pulled through. Carrington was apparently doubtful when I was first brought to him, but between his knowledge and the copious amount of stimpaks he used on me, I was still firmly in the land of the living.

 

I was then able to relay how things had been going from my end, and I walked them through everything that had been discussed in my meeting with Arthur. When Nate asked if I thought I had been able to convince him, I honestly had to say, “I’m not sure. I hope so. At the end … it seemed like he might agree, to at least leave us alone if nothing else. But then the Gunners attacked and we didn’t really get to have our final say with each other, so …” I sighed. “Ball’s in his court. I guess we’ll have to wait and see what he decides.”

 

We weren’t waiting long, because just as Carrington came back in to assess how we were doing, X6 knocked on the door and entered. “Elder Arthur Maxson is demanding to see the highest ranking Minuteman present.”

 

Nate stood from where he’d posted up on one of the other beds. “Go ahead and send him in, I’m not leaving this room just yet.”

 

X6 nodded and disappeared for a moment before he reappeared with the Elder. Danse noticeably tensed beside me, but otherwise met his gaze evenly. The both stared each other down for a moment before Arthur commented, “I wasn’t expecting to see you here, Paladin.”

 

“I wasn’t expecting to be here, Elder, but … well I suppose now is as good a time as any to inform you of my resignation.”

 

Arthur’s eyebrow cocked in surprise. “Resignation? You? I find it hard to believe you’d abandon the Brotherhood.”

 

“I don’t wish to do so, sir, but I was recently informed of … well, something that makes me doubt that I will be able to serve any longer.”

 

The Elder clasped his hands behind his back as he inquired, “And just what is that, Paladin?”

 

Danse paused a moment as Carrington disconnected the lines between us, flexing his arm a moment before he confirmed. “I’m a synth.”

 

Arthur’s eyes darkened and from the way he sharply inhaled, it seemed like he was ready to tear Danse a new asshole, and that was not about to happen on my watch. “He didn’t know,” I interrupted before Arthur could say anything. I repeated it, just to make sure it was understood, “He didn’t know he was a synth. His memory had been wiped before he even left the Commonwealth.”

 

“I see,” Arthur said, slowly, carefully, every word measured. “So you knew, of course?”

 

I nodded. “I was going to leave it up to Danse, up to what he wanted to do once he knew.”

 

“And now that he knows, he wants to desert the Brotherhood, is that right, Danse?”

 

The Paladin winced at his sharp words. “It’s not that I want to, sir, it’s just that …” he sighed, “… I’d feel like a hypocrite if I kept my place in the Brotherhood while knowing that I’m a synth, that I’m everything the Brotherhood fights against.”

 

_Ugh, these fucking men._ “Can’t you see, Arthur?” I asked, incredulous that he was being such a dick about this whole thing, after our whole talk. “Your fucked up beliefs is pushing away one of your _best_ soldiers. And for what? What does the Brotherhood gain by this? _Nothing_. This alone should prove what I was telling you before, to judge synths individually instead of as a whole. Because this synth right here, when given free will, he _chose_ to follow you, to devote himself to the Brotherhood, and he’s only wanting to leave because of how you’ve made him feel about _himself_.”

 

Arthur held up his hand and I quieted, wondering what he was going to say next. When he dropped it, he cleared his throat and said, “I can see what you’re trying to say, Major general. And, as much as I’m loathe to admit it, I can see the wisdom.” My chest tightened and I held my breath, waiting to hear the rest of what he had to say. Looking at me directly, he said, “You were right, Lia. I _do_ want to make my own legacy, I just didn’t think I would have the support I needed should I do what I wanted, and so I’ve yielded to others, trusting that I could just move the Brotherhood along until, perhaps, a child of my own could take the reigns and do what I could not.” He straightened as he continued, “But that’s an unfair burden to put on a child, one that doesn’t even exist yet. I can’t put off that responsibility on someone when I can’t even follow through with it myself. I … am not sure exactly where I want to take the Brotherhood. But I know it’s not the path we’re on right now. Until I determine what that is …” he turned to Danse and pronounced, “… I feel it only appropriate to deny your request for resignation. Instead, I will promote you to Sentinel and appoint you as official liaison between the Minutemen and the Brotherhood.” Stepping closer to Danse, he continued, a bit more casual than official as he held out his hand, “I understand your hesitancy to return to full duty, and I hope that in time you will. But until then, I would hate to lose you completely, Danse. You have been the tipping point to help me _see_ , and I don’t want to let that go unrewarded.”

 

Danse looked choked up, but nodded and cleared his throat. “Yes, sir. Request for resignation withdrawn, and I accept the position of liaison gladly.” He rose from his chair and clasped Arthur’s hand. “Thank you, Elder. I’ll work harder than I ever have before to prove that, while I’m a synth, I’m Brotherhood through and through.” Withdrawing his hand, he gave the Brotherhood’s salute as he bid Arthur, “Ad Victoriam.”

 

Arthur returned it and repeated the sentiment before he turned to me. “It is good to see that you’re still alive. Last I saw you, you were cut down by a minigun.”

 

“Well, I might not be, if it wasn’t for Nick scooping me and getting me to Carrington.” I reached for his hand and smiled at him, appreciating him all the more for darting out onto a bullet-ridden battlefield to grab me and get me medical attention. Now that things were straightened out with the Brotherhood, I felt it was safe to go ahead and introduce Nick properly. “By the by, you remember when I told you I was with someone? Well, this is him.”

 

I wasn’t sure how Arthur would take that little bit of news, but a raised eyebrow was about all that I got, along with, “I suppose it’s a good thing when you said you didn’t want children, then, yes?”

 

Nick chuckled good-naturedly. “Not sure what she sees in me, if I’m being honest.”

 

“Oh c’mon, Nick, you sell yourself short.” Grinning, I teased him with, “I think I fell in love the first time I set eyes on you in game.”

 

If he could have blushed, Nick’s cheeks would have been a fiery red, and I think he was glad for the change in topic as Nate stepped up and he and Arthur finalised some details between the Brotherhood and the conglomeration that now encompassed the Minutemen, the Railroad, and the Institute. Nate was more than willing to share some Institute tech with the Brotherhood, as well as fill in more gaps that had been intentionally left in the Brotherhood’s knowledge from our last, loose alliance. The Brotherhood was also intent on helping us handle Nuka World, and Arthur even preemptively offered help for kicking the Gunners out of Quincy and wherever else they were holed up in the Commonwealth, which I was able to eagerly assist with informing on them. I was only able to get through their highway hideaway and part of Quincy before my energy just dropped off and it became harder and harder to concentrate.

 

Surprisingly, it was Arthur who noticed first and said something. “Perhaps we should reconvene tomorrow, once the Major general has had a chance to rest. Those injuries are nothing to laugh at, it’s a miracle she’s even alive.”

 

“Agreed,” Nate said as he rose from his seat. “I’ll send Keats or someone down with some dinner.” With that, he escorted the Elder out of the Castle, and the rest of the company filtered out of the room, save for Nick, who mercifully allowed dinner to be a quick affair and didn’t push me to finish. While I was hungry, I was more tired than anything, and I ate what I could before I felt like I couldn’t even lift my spoon anymore. Going to the latrine was a much more difficult prospect, but Nick was right by my side and waited patiently for me, settling me back into the bed once we made it back to the room.

 

I was incredibly sore and just wanted to sleep, but more than that I needed Nick with me, and I begged him to lie with me. He was a little hesitant at first, not wanting to risk injuring me, but the pitiful look I gave him must have worked because he sighed, shucked his hat along with his coat and shoes, and joined me under the covers. There, in the quiet of the night, the sum total events of the day really settled in, and as much as Nick comforted me, I couldn’t help the sobs as they came. Drummer Boy and Jenny … they were gone. I would never see them sneaking in and out of the Castle again, never stumble upon them making out in a shadowed corner, never hear their cheery voices as they delivered messages and reports to me. They were so perfect together, it seemed incredible that they were gone. But they were. I wept for them and what could have been, and Nick allowed me the space to fall apart, holding me close so that when I was done, he could help put me back together. Because despite how much I felt like giving up, I couldn’t. Not until my work here was done.

 

And there was a helluva lot I had yet to do. I now owed it to Drummer Boy and Jenny to see it through, to not let their sacrifice be in vain. Tonight I could grieve, but tomorrow I had to move on and keep it up. There was too much at stake. I couldn’t fail the people of the Commonwealth, and no matter what happened to me, as long as there was breath in my body and strength in my bones, I would fight for the future they all deserved.


	27. Break me down to build me up

_Working onto something that I'm proud of, out of the box,_

_An epoxy to the world and the vision we've lost,_

_I'm an apostrophe,_

_I'm just a symbol to remind you that there's more to see,_

_I'm just a product of the system, a catastrophe,_

_And yet a masterpiece ..._

 

_~~ "Whatever it takes", Imagine Dragons_

 

 

\-----------

 

I woke up the next morning feeling … well, not better, exactly. But not as fragile as I had been the day before. I was nowhere near back to normal, and likely wouldn’t be for a little while yet, but it was a start. I pulled on some soft, grey pants and my boots along with a white long-sleeved shirt to help ward off the cold before I wrapped a muted patterned shawl around me and slowly made my way up the steps and into the Castle proper, leaning on Nick the entire time. The old synth had been skeptical about allowing me out of bed, but a little puppy dog eye action along with pouting didn’t hurt my persuasion attempts.

 

The sun was just rising and dissipating the early morning mist as the inhabitants of the Castle started their day. There was general hustling and bustling all around me, but I stopped in the Courtyard in a sunny patch, content to feel the sun on my face for a few minutes until I felt like I had to go sit down. My energy was already waning, I could feel it, but I was determined to push through it for now. Nate and the others, they needed my insight for Quincy, I couldn’t simply leave them hanging. I smiled as I saw RJ up on top of the wall, doing a patrol of his own, likely on edge after the whole thing. He had a history with them and if he was willing, I was going to offer him a chance at a little payback for all the trouble they’d given him after he left. But I’d let him choose what he wanted to do.

 

A loud whirring sound was the only thing that broke the quiet morning routine, and I grabbed onto Nick as I started to panic, memories of the previous day flashing though my mind’s eye. “Easy, princess,” he murmured. “It’s Brotherhood.”

 

I relaxed a little then, and a little more when Arthur Maxson came striding through the Castle entrance. _Who would have thought I’d relax at the sight of Elder Arthur Maxson? Certainly not me …_

 

He seemed surprised to see me standing with the way his raised his eyebrow, but that was the only outward sign as the rest of his face was the same, stoic expression he always wore. The Knights that flanked in him power armour stood watch by the entrance as he strode out into the courtyard, near where I was standing with Nick. “I didn’t expect to see you on your feet so soon.”

 

I smirked as I replied, “Well, there’s work to be done, and it’s not gonna wait on me.”

 

Right as Arthur opened his mouth to say something, Nate came striding out into the courtyard, calling out a greeting as he saw us all standing there. “Starting without me?” he asked as he drew abreast to us, hands resting on the outside of his hips, a casual smile on his face.

 

I shrugged. “The Elder just arrived. If we’re all ready, we should go ahead and get down to it.” I left unspoken the fact that we had to do this now or else my energy would completely drain and I would just give out. Instead, I fixed what I hoped wasn’t a tired looking smile on my face as Nate conceded the point and directed us all to his office, motioning to RJ to join us as he descended into Railroad HQ to fetch Desdemona.

 

At least I had a chair to sit down in as I drew up a rough map of Quincy and the nearby Gunner Plaza, taking the time to explain in great detail what they could expect going in. Quincy was now Gunner central in the Commonwealth, between it and Gunner Plaza, and the two locations were crawling with not only them but traps and turrets and mines. This was going to be a large scale operation, and we were going to have to pool all of our resources. The Brotherhood’s Vertibirds would obviously be a big help, but it wasn’t fair to put all of them on the front line, and so Nate composed a list of Minutemen he would pull to aid in the operation, being careful to not leave the Castle and other settlements vulnerable. Desdemona had several heavies she could spare, and as she stubbed out her cigarette into an ash tray, she commented, “I also have one agent on standby who owes me a favour. She isn’t always in the area, but she’s due to be passing by the Commonwealth. If I can get word to her, she’ll be a great asset.”

 

Nate nodded. “Do it, then. If you can reach her, tell her we’ll be gathering at the Atom Cats’ garage. They’re Minuteman friendly, I’m sure they won’t have a problem with us meeting there.”

 

“Will do. Let me go release my little ravens and I’ll be right back.”

 

I rolled my eyes as she left. Despite the alliances, Dez was still as paranoid and mysterious as ever, and I had no idea who this mysterious agent was whom I’d never met. Although, I did know the Railroad’s network extended outside the Commonwealth, and the agents in game were likely only a fraction of the Railroad’s true forces, despite them losing all the operatives they did during the Switchboard incident. Indeed, I’d already met a few that made no appearance in the game, and if this agent that she was referring to was really as big as Dez made her out to be, it was no real surprise that Desdemona had kept her in her back pocket, saving her for a rainy day. It was definitely a Dez thing to do.

 

She returned within a few minutes, smirking as she sat down. “The timing is perfect. With any luck, she’ll actually beat us to the garage.”

 

“Perfect, we’ll need all the help we can get,” Nate commented, looking over my rough drawings of the settlement and the old TV station that the Gunners had claimed as their own.

 

“She’s quite the force of nature,” Dez assured. “I have a feeling that just mentioning Nuka World would have her staying for that, too. She’s been lying pretty low for a while, she’ll be raring for some real fighting.”

 

_Nuka World_. Just the thought of the theme park and all it entailed had me feeling exhausted. My brain was turning to mush, and I wasn’t sure I could force it to do anymore than it had been already. It was about noon, so it wasn’t like we had been meeting, sharing intel, and developing a battle strategy into the night. But my energy was depleted and I didn’t think I could even force myself to go further. But I was stubborn, and I had to try, and so I continued to pour what intel I had in the area - I didn’t want them wandering too close to Fallon’s department store - onto paper until my hand was obviously shaking.

 

Nick’s hand felt heavy on my shoulder. “I think it’s time you took a break. You need some rest.”

 

“I’m okay,” I tried to say, not very convincingly. I felt awfully small and weak in the presence of the large, warrior-like Arthur Maxson and Nate Howard. Even Dez and RJ were experienced and weathered. I was like some small, dainty flower that couldn’t even make it through what should have been an easy day. No missions, no walking, no physical labour, just planning. But apparently, that was just too much for me at the moment.

 

“No, you’re not,” Nate replied. “Go on, we’re mostly done with the planning, anyway.”

 

“But what if I need to add some important information? What if someone has questions?”

 

“I’ll have you look it over before we execute it. Any questions we have, we can save them. While this is a high priority, it’s not something we need to do _right now_. We still have to mobilise forces and move them, so nothing is happening immediately, at any rate. A day or two delay isn’t going to break us.”

 

I had to concede the point, and Nick helped me stand and guided me back down to my room, allowing me to lean heavily on him during the trip. I was frustrated with myself, annoyed that I couldn’t just push through like I wanted to, but I was far too tired for that frustration to work me up enough to power up. Instead, I was left completely drained, and I was already half-asleep by the time my head hit the pillow.

 

While the nap was deep and restful, when I woke I felt like I just hadn’t quite gotten enough. _Am I just going to be tired forever?_ That’s what it certainly felt like. I couldn’t even remember what it was like to wake up from sleep feeling refreshed and energised and ready to go. Instead I felt groggy and out of it and still tired, though not as much as before. I suppose that was what I had to look forward to during this recovery period, lesser degrees of exhaustion as my body mended itself back together. I could still _feel_ each and every point where the bullets had entered me, and because of that my sleeping positions were limited and I woke up stiff. But, wake up I did, and I knew I would need to take a final look over that battle plan and see if there were any last minute questions, and so I worked myself up to a sitting position, slowly and carefully so I wouldn’t hurt more than already necessary.

 

To my surprise, Nick wasn’t the only one in the room when I woke. RJ was sitting in one of the chairs, cleaning his rifle, and I was curious as to why he’d chosen this room to do such a random task. It looked like he and Nick had been having a conversation, and had paused only when I woke up. “Is something going on?” I asked, still a little bleary from my nap.

 

“Yeah,” RJ said, his voice short and strained. He set his rifle down on a nearby table, his eyes cast somewhere on the floor, not quite meeting me. “I needed to talk to you.”

 

I wondered if he was finally ready to go to Med-Tek to get the cure for Duncan. “Sure, what is it?”

 

He smirked, but I had a feeling it wasn’t good-natured. “I only hope you’ll be okay with keeping me on after I tell you what I’m about to.” I honestly didn’t think there was anything my little cinnamon bun could tell me that would make me kick him out, but I simply nodded and waited for him to continue. “This whole Gunner assault … I think it’s my fault that they came here.”

 

My brows furrowed. “Why is that?”

 

“I know you know about my, uh … previous involvement with them. The day you came and hired me, they’d sent a couple of their goons after me to try to intimidate me into leaving the Commonwealth. Just two lapdogs of theirs, Winlock and Barnes, nobody I was worried about. And once you’d hired me, I figured I was out of their crosshairs anyway. But I was wrong. I _know_ I was. Because one of the guys I took out … that was Barnes. Winlock … he’d stayed behind in the Vertibird, manning the minigun. I wasn’t able to get a shot off in time and …” he winced, grimacing as I was sure he was playing back the events in his own mind. “Point is, I don’t think they would have tried to attack the Castle if it wasn’t for me being here. I put us on their map, I’m the reason they came here in the first place. And I’m the reason that your friends are dead and you got hurt.” He swallowed hard before he added, “If you wanna fire me for the risk I bring you guys, I understand.”

 

“Most certainly _not_ ,” I immediately replied, my voice much stronger and sure. “The only way you’re leaving here, Robert Joseph MacCready, is if you leave of your own volition.” His head snapped up, seemingly surprised at my reaction. “The whole assault on the Castle … it wasn’t wholly unexpected. In game, there is an event where Gunners or raiders or super mutants or even the Brotherhood or Institute attack the Castle. To be honest, I’m surprised we haven’t been attacked before now, but it may be because we’re not really following the ‘main questline’ as it plays out in the game. Regardless, this would have happened whether or not I’d hired you, and if I hadn’t … well, I may not be alive at all.” Shaking my head, I continued, “I’m not that great of a shot, I’m sure you’ve noticed, and I have no idea why I ran out there. It was stupid and if you hadn’t taken out two of them then I would have been gunned down then and there, they would have entered the settlement building and killed the remaining settlers along with Drummer Boy and Jenny, and they would have been a lot harder to repel because of that foothold. If anything … you helped saved a lot more lives.”

 

He nodded, accepting the information I gave him, as reluctant as he may have been to do so. Hefting himself to his feet, he grabbed his clean rifle and, as he went to leave, he paused to say, “I’m going with them, to Quincy and the Plaza. They’ll need a sharpshooter.”

 

I grinned, knowing already that he would have been raring for a chance at some payback. “And you’ll do great, I know you will.”

 

His steps faltered near the door and he paused one more time with his hand on the handle. “After … this whole thing with the Gunners … do you think we could talk about Duncan?”

 

_Finally. It’s about freakin’ time, RJ!_ “Of course. Whenever you’re ready.”

 

After he left, I tossed the blankets off of me and moved to get up. Nick was by my side immediately, of course, and while I was touched by his concern, it was wearing me a bit thin. “You sure you’re okay to get up? You still look tired, doll.”

 

“I’m fine, Nick, I’m not made of glass.”

 

“Well I know Carrington is talented, but one day isn’t enough for a full recovery …”

 

“Nick,” I interrupted firmly, looking him in the eye, “I will be okay. I’ll come back to bed when I finish this, I promise, but I can’t let them down. This is _important_.”

 

“You are, too. Don’t forget that.” That was all the more protest he put up as he helped me stand and lead me up the stairs and to the General’s office.

 

To my surprise, Arthur was still there, deep in discussion with Nate and Dez. It had been a few hours since I left, I had thought they would have dismissed and gone their separate ways, but instead they looked like a few old friends having a drink and just talking. It was … strange. But it was good. It filled me with hope and, maybe I was imagining it, but I felt stronger. More confident and sure of myself, like what I was doing really was the right choice. Otherwise, why else would the General of the Minutemen and Director of the Institute, the leader of the Railroad, and the Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel be sitting at a table, conversing civilly? I had no illusions that everything would be peaceful, that there would be no more conflicts or issues from here on out. But the mutual cooperation between all the factions was the most beneficial for everyone in the long run, and the fact that their leaders could see the wisdom in that - and that I had been instrumental in bringing them together - my anxiety started to melt away in the knowledge that I was, indeed, useful in this wasteland.

 

I was glad that I hadn’t delayed in rejoining the meeting, because there were some important questions that needed to be answered regarding traps and what kinds of resistance could be expected at certain points. Quincy would be difficult because it was open and spread out but the Plaza would be just as difficult because of the concentration of the Gunners’ force. These were the biggest concentrations of their presence in the Commonwealth, however, and if we could take care of them there, it would be a hopefully fatal blow to their organisation. Expelling the Gunners from the Commonwealth would be a great step toward stability in the region, and that stability would send ripples throughout the entire wasteland. If we could get the entire East Coast settled down, it would be a real shot in the arm for us, proof to throw in the faces of the West Coast Brotherhood who would no doubt protest our methods and our allies. With a Maxson on our side, though, between his heritage and his charisma, they would be doomed to move against him.

 

As the meeting wrapped up, and the plan of attack was officially finalised - our forces would initially gather at the Atom Cats’ garage before striking out at Quincy, then the Plaza, and then the Mass Pike Interchange just to ensure elimination of any Gunners that might retreat - Nate asked Arthur, “Will you be taking her there tonight?”

 

My brow furrowed, confused as to what Nate was referring to. “Take who where?”

 

Arthur’s eyes flicked over to me briefly before he answered, “Yes. It will be more convenient to simply take the long way back to the Prydwyn rather than make a special trip tomorrow and possibly delay assembly of our forces.”

 

His reply gave me no real answers, and I was still in the dark. “What are you guys talking about?”

 

Nate finally shed a little light on what was going on. “You’re going back to Sanctuary.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

He sighed. “You need to recover fully, Lia, and you won’t be able to do it here. Too much will be asked of you. Preston will stay behind and take charge, you can go back and rest in your own home. If we’re going to continue on with your plan, I need you to be in top shape, not stretched thin.”

 

Well, I couldn’t really argue with that. Though I had become more or less used to the hustle and bustle of the Castle, I wouldn’t be able to keep up in my current condition, try as I might. My energy was waning again already, and by the time I packed up and rode the Vertibird to Sanctuary, I’d probably be about ready to collapse in my bed. Even just the thought of everything I’d have to do to get ready exhausted me. I had to face facts, I wasn’t a machine, I was a human being, and as such I had limits that had to be respected or else. And so I nodded and replied, “Very well, then.” Turning to Arthur, I asked, “How long until you leave?”

 

He shrugged. “I have no timeline. Whenever you’re ready.”

 

I stood, then, bracing myself against the table as I was a little dizzy. “I’ll go get ready, then.”

 

Truthfully, there wasn’t much I had to pack. I did put both of my jumpsuits in there - the Vault one and the one from the Institute - as well as a few items that I would need, toiletries and such. And my gun and the ammo I had, of course. Someone must have grabbed it after the whole firefight because I knew I hadn’t been able to keep hold of it after I was shot. But it had been sitting on my dresser after I’d woken up, surer than shit. It was just one of those things that I accepted had been done anonymously, and it was only one detail amoungst a hundred, perhaps a thousand, that had gone on behind the scenes while I was unconscious that I would never really know about.

 

As I was finishing up - just sorting through a few toiletry-type items while sitting on the bed - there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” I called out absently, not even really paying attention as I zipped up my pack. It was Arthur Maxson, and I was a bit surprised to see the Elder coming to me. “I’m sorry, am I taking too long? I’m almost done.”

 

He shook his head. “You’re fine, it’s just … I wanted to say something that I didn’t get a chance to before.” Standing there with his hands clasped behind his back, he began. “This … path that I’ve now set out on … I think you know already that it won’t be easy. I’m going to get a lot of flak, a lot of pushback from the other leaders, from the West Coast and the Midwest, even from my own men. I know already that they’ll throw the Codex at me, repeat all the passages I know by heart. ‘Fear those who do not pledge to the Brotherhood for though their eyes may be opened through service, they are now blind.’” Sighing, his shoulders slumped just a little, hardly noticeable on most people, but on Arthur Maxson, he who was perpetually straight backed, I noticed it.

 

But if the Brotherhood leaders wanted to play the technical game by using the Codex against Arthur, well, two could play at that game. “But don’t forget, ‘Give way your suspicions to the wisdom of thine Elder. Where he shows trust, so shall you.’”

 

He chuckled. “You remember that, do you?”

 

I shrugged. “It’s the shortest passage out of the ones you quote as Squire, so it’s easier to remember.”

 

His stance subtly relaxed, and his smile actually reached his eyes. “You are right, though, as you have proven yourself to be over and over again. This _will_ be a hard path, but … I don’t think I will regret it.” He winked at me as he turned to leave. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll take you to Sanctuary.”

 

Nick hefted my bag for me and helped me up the stairs. I gave Nate a hug goodbye and then boarded the Vertibird, my stomach already doing flips in anticipation of the flight. And this time I was squashed between Nick, Arthur, and a couple of Knights, so it was a bit of a squeeze. But at least I felt more secure as they flew over the Commonwealth, passing over Diamond City and the CIT ruins before heading more north and toward the old subdivision tucked away in the hills. I just clung to Nick and prayed to whatever powers that might be that I wouldn’t vomit all over Arthur’s prestigious battle coat. That would certainly not be a good way to end cap this whole endeavour that we’d embarked upon when he’d originally come down from the Prydwyn.

 

My stomach held on, though, and much sooner than I expected we were landing on the hill just outside of Sanctuary, the one nestled between the safe house of the Red Rocket station and the bridge that would take one to the settlement. Nick disembarked first and then reached up to me, and Arthur helped steady me as I descended from the Vertibird. After we had walked a safe enough distance away, it then took off, the occupants secure in the knowledge that we were now safe. Nick and I just had to walk down the hill and over the bridge, and we were within the limits of Sanctuary proper. Of course, then we had to walk all the way down the street to where my house was situated on the edge of the cul-de-sac, and that knowledge had me sagging against him, but he held on to me and we both made it with little trouble. Night was falling, and though I hadn’t had dinner, I wasn’t even hungry, I just wanted to lie down.

 

The bed laid undisturbed, and I gratefully flopped down on it once I’d changed into something to sleep in. I was barely awake enough to acknowledge Nick getting into bed behind me, though I snuggled into him as I felt his arms encircle me, automatically mumbling back, “I love you,” even as I slipped off into sleep.

 

In the end, of course, Nate was right. There was no way I would have been able to truly get rest at the Castle - not without confining myself to quarters completely, refusing visitors, and being bored out of my mind - but at Sanctuary, it was completely different. Dex and other Minutemen were patrolling, making sure order was kept, and the whole operation was fully functioning in sync with the safe house out at the Red Rocket. Over the next few days, I was actually able to rest and take it easy, taking few visitors and spending most of my days with Nick. Mama Murphy was nice to see, though, as was Codsworth and even the Vault-Tec Salesman that I hadn’t gotten a chance to formally meet before. The laid back atmosphere was actually nice. Whereas before I’d missed the hustle and bustle of the big city, I could now appreciate the quiet. Every day I got a little stronger, the pain started to subside until it was just a small ache that was barely noticeable, and I actually felt like I was closer to Nick than ever before. We didn’t have sex, nothing outside of kissing and cuddling, really, at Nick’s insistence. And yet it was like our connection only deepened. It was almost strange how deep it seemed to go, but I supposed there was a reason I was always drawn to him in game. As much as I loved other traveling companions, I rarely went out with others that much because I just didn’t have it in me to go without Nick. I couldn’t explain it then, just like I couldn’t explain our connection now. I suppose, perhaps … perhaps we were just always meant to be.

 

It was about five days after I arrived back in Sanctuary, give or take, that there was a knock on the door. I was sitting at the dining room table, casually drinking through a Nuka Cola, and Nick was leaning against the counter as he finished up a cigarette. “I’ll get it,” Nick said as he stubbed out his smoke and went to answer the door.

 

Standing there, grinning, with a laser rifle hefted over his shoulder, was Nate. “Hey, Nick. Lia up for visitors?”

 

“I think she’s good.” Turning from the door, he asked me directly, “What do you think?”

 

“Sure!” I called out, standing from the table to greet whatever visitors I might have aside from Nate.

 

He was through the door first, of course, encasing me in a hug as he murmured, “You’re looking good.”

 

“Feeling better,” I replied.

 

As we parted he noted, “Wearing your Vaultsuit again, huh?”

 

“It’s comfortable!” It really was the most comfortable and warm item of clothing I owned, and considering that my Minutemen uniform was more or less ripped to shreds - not to mention covered in blood - I was relegated to being the Vault Dweller once again instead of the Major general of the Minutemen. If anything, it denoted my forced vacation of sorts. I wasn’t sure when or even if I might get another Minutemen uniform anyway.

 

Next through the door was RJ, who seemed quite happy to see me doing well, and then it was Arthur Maxson, his presence dominating the room already, even though his stance was casual. Well, casual for him, anyway, as he was still as straight backed as ever. Then there was Dez, who wore a smirk on her face. “Oracle,” she began, “I’d like you to meet our freelance agent. I think you two would get along quite well.”

 

She moved out of the way, and I couldn’t help the way my jaw just dropped. She was much older than the last time I’d “seen” her, obviously, but though her hair was a little shorter and her skin a little more tan, I would have recognised her anywhere, even without the large ghoul following her and the worn Vaultsuit she wore. She smiled, stepping forward as she held out a hand in introduction. “Hey, Oracle. I’m Wanderer.”

 

I could only get out one word as I shook her hand. “Ruby?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoy my inclusion of my Lone Wanderer :)


	28. Making friends and enemies

_Hey, when face to face with all our fears,_

_Learned our lessons through the tears,_

_Made memories we knew would never fade ..._

 

_~~ "The Nights", Avicii_

 

 

\-----------

 

Ruby’s eyes widened slightly at first, then narrowed. “Have we met before?”

 

“Not … exactly, no.” I sighed, about to fall back on one of my old phrases. “It’s kinda complicated.”

 

“I see,” she replied, a little more guarded, her eyes flicking around the room.

 

Once everyone was ushered into the house and found a place to be - whether that was lounging on the couch, posted up on a chair, or leaning against a counter or a wall - Ruby and I sat down at the table and I began to divulge who I was and what I knew, Charon characteristically leaning silently against the wall behind her. At first she scoffed, like I was crazy, but as I began to get more and more detailed, the more quiet she became, the realisation that I was who I said I was becoming quite apparent. Sure, her more significant deeds were known, even outside of the Capitol Wasteland, but the little moments that no one else would have witnessed - or even lived to tell about - like her childhood, her mother’s favourite Bible verse, and even escaping from her baby pen when she was a year old when her father was trying to work … those were things no one but she and her father would know, and her father was long dead. And, as good and helpful as my Ruby was, she wasn’t so open that she would just confide everything in everybody. And that held true for the woman in front of me as she sat there, tapping her fingertips on the table, sizing me up.

 

When there was a lull of some quiet, Nate finally spoke up. “What a mind fuck, huh?”

 

Ruby snorted. “You’re telling me. I mean, the bigger things … I’m not surprised people know about, even ten years after the fact. But …” she shook her head, “… this is just crazy. And I should know crazy, between navigating a simulation run by a psychopath to being abducted by aliens.”

 

RJ winced at the aliens reference, reaching back to scratch the back of his neck, uneasy in general at the thought of that kind of thing. To his credit, he had simply stood there as I’d detailed that part of her adventure, as I was sure that her abduction wasn’t exactly something she talked about to many people, if she’d even told anyone outside of Charon. Which, judging by the way she raised her eyebrows and fixed me with an intense stare, it seemed she really had kept that little adventure on the down low. But everything was out in the open now, and while a bit incredulous, she seemed to accept who I was if for the sheer fact I knew things that no one besides herself and possibly Charon would know.

 

She leaned back in her chair, throwing an arm over the back as she grinned. “And I thought I’d gotten the reunions over with at the garage.”

 

I could only imagine how that had gone down, as - if they remembered her as well I did - RJ and Arthur probably pegged who she was immediately. On the other hand, they had changed so much in the intervening decade that she likely hadn’t recognised them as easily, just as I wouldn’t have recognised them if they hadn’t been named. I had to wonder how that all went down, or even how her relationship with them was like. She likely hadn’t had much contact with RJ over the years, but the Lone Wanderer had been made a Knight in the Brotherhood of Steel and an honourary member of Lyons’ Pride. What happened to the Pride after the death of Sarah Lyons, the lore didn’t really say, though if they were Owyn sympathisers, they likely had parted ways with the Brotherhood after Arthur started reverting back to the older ways, undoing all of the work that Owyn had done as Elder. Of course, who knew how long she had stuck with them, she’d only been made an honourary member, after all, and though she’d been Knighted the game left it up to interpretation as to whether the Lone Wanderer stayed with the Brotherhood after Broken Steel. I had so many questions about what all had happened in the ten years since the main events of Fallout 3 and it’s various add-ons, but we didn’t really have time for that kind of thing, at least not now. Since the Gunners had now been taken care of, our focus now shifted to Nuka World and the hordes of raiders and various other obstacles that inhabited it.

 

No matter what, I was intent on at least attempting to give the raider groups a choice in their own destiny. Though I knew full well what the Disciples would make of such a choice, I just had a nagging feeling that the Operators - and potentially the Pack - might just take us up on a new lease. It was a gut feeling that I just couldn’t ignore, couldn’t put aside and allow an okay to raze the park to the ground. And in keeping with that feeling, between all of us we formulated a plan of attack. We needed someone to get in and become Overboss, get in with them and put some feelers out, assess the situation. Over time, I’d naturally thought Nate would be the one to do it, as he’d been spearheading most of our missions, but unfortunately, with the responsibility of running the Institute, he wasn’t able to just take off to Nuka World for an undetermined amount of time. “I would if I could,” he said, shaking his head, “but I have to make sure the Institute is still running smooth. I’ve been out a little too long as it is, I’ll have to relay back in tonight at the latest and spend some extra time there to make up for the break.”

 

_I suppose running the Institute is a lot more work in real life than it is in game_. But maintaining control of the Institute was too important to just slack off, and so with that, Nate was eliminated from the possibility of becoming Overboss. _I guess the Sole Survivor can’t do everything like they can in game_.

 

Arthur was, of course, out of the question, as he not only had the Brotherhood to run, he still tended to have a stick up his ass and that was not the kind of energy one needed to project around a bunch of raiders. Besides, I didn’t want to risk the ire of the Brotherhood should we end up putting him in a difficult spot. This whole alliance was still new, and Arthur was essential to maintaining the peace between the us and the rest of the Brotherhood. No, he definitely would not do at all.

 

RJ volunteered, but after some discussion, I was too worried he wouldn’t fit the bill enough. He was on the smaller end of the spectrum, scruffy and aggressive but not exactly intimidating, not who we really needed. He could talk a great game, and deliver besides, but that kind of vibe was a dime a dozen with the raiders we would be dealing with. We needed someone who could rise above and _control_ them, and while he’d done a great job with running Little Lamplight, there was a world’s amount of difference between that small settlement and Nuka World. And besides all of that, spying wasn’t exactly his forte, which was going to be essential for the job. That point, however, immediately make me realise who was _perfect_ for the job. “What about Deacon?” Everyone paused, and I took that opportunity to explain my reasoning. “He’s an experienced spy, he’s more than capable of handling himself, even when he’s riding solo. And with the way he can change his face, I bet he could easily come up with something well suited for an Overboss.”

 

Dez was easily on board with the idea. “If anyone can infiltrate those gangs and run them, it’s Deacon.”

 

Ruby frowned. “I don’t really like the idea of him going in there alone.”

 

I cocked an eyebrow. “You think he can’t handle it?”

 

She smirked. “Far from it. It’s just … Deacon’s an old friend of mine.” She leaned back with a sigh. “I was the agent who facilitated Barbara’s integration into the Commonwealth, and she was one of the few I kept in contact with afterwards. Sweet girl, just in over her head in the wasteland. I suppose she reminded me a lot of me when I stumbled out of the Vault.” She chewed her lip as she said softly, “When I found out what happened, Charon and I went to take care of the gang, but Deacon had beat us to it. I took him under my wing, trained him, and vouched for him when he was initiated.” Her eyes flashed as she said proudly, “Everything he is today is because I took the time to show him what he could be. And as capable as I know he is, I don’t like risking my friends if it’s unnecessary.” Well that was an unexpected revelation, but it was the kind that just had me wanting to know _more_. While there was vast amounts of lore to be found and experienced in the games, there were tons of behind the scenes type of information that just wasn’t to be found, questions that were never really answered. And Ruby was one of the few who I knew could fill in some gaps, as she was already starting to do unintentionally for me. I longed to be able to just sit down with her and just _talk_ , uninhibited, about anything and everything she might want to talk about regarding the ten years that had passed between the games. The nerd in me was just insanely curious, however it would have to wait until we could finalise up this plan.

 

I tapped my chin thoughtfully, honestly quite charmed at Ruby's protectiveness of her friend. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have a couple of people accompany him. Only one of you can be Overboss, though.”

 

Ruby held up her hands. “Deacon can have that. Heh, I’ve had my fair share of being a leader through the years, I’m more than happy to play support these days.”

 

“Alright, then. Where _is_ Deacon, anyway?”

 

“Down at the Red Rocket settlement,” Dez replied. “I told him to wait there just in case we needed him.”

 

“How long do you think it’ll take him to get ready?”

 

“If he has everything he needs, he can be ready in about half an hour. If he needs something, then I can’t say how long it might take him.”

 

I nodded. “Go ahead and tell him. If he does need something he doesn’t have on him, might as well give him as much time to prepare as we can.”

 

With that, Dez ducked out of the house to make her way toward the safe house that Deacon was currently posted up at. I noticed that she specifically called it a settlement and not a safe house in mixed company. I suppose she still didn’t fully trust Arthur, and I couldn’t really blame her. It was going to take her a while to shake her paranoid tendencies - if ever - but she didn’t have them without reason, so I couldn’t fault her.

 

While she was gone, I grabbed some paper and started sketching out the gauntlet. I wasn’t sure exactly when they would have it just like it was in game, but that’s what I was going to go with, with the caveat that certain things could be different as the Disciples could choose to change things up. I could only cross my fingers and hope for the best, and hope that if it _was_ different that Deacon, Ruby, and Charon wouldn’t have any problems adjusting. It was hard to remember all the different nooks and crannies in the gauntlet, but I did my best. I was just finishing sketching up the maps when Dez came back with Deacon, who apparently had everything he needed, as he said he was ready to go whenever we were ready to execute the first part of the plan. So, that left me to walk them all through the gauntlet. Truth be told, I was a lot more comfortable with the three of them going through it rather than just one. Not that I didn’t think Deacon couldn’t handle it all on his own - or even Nate, if he was to do it - but it was just a comfort to know that he would have two reliable people watching his back.

 

Once they got in, of course, it would take a little time to do some recon work. Feel out the different gangs, settle in, assert themselves in their new positions. They would likely need to take care of one or two of the parks at the very least, to make a show of taking the new position seriously, or else risk being deposed because they were just another Colter. In that case, I started outlining the different park areas and what to expect in them and how to clear them out. Safari Adventure was, perhaps, one of the technically easiest to clear, though the gatorclaws themselves were a tough opponent. They would only multiply the longer they were left, though, so it was probably best to deal with them first and rescue Cito and his family. On the other end of the spectrum, the bottling plant could probably wait, as the mirelurks that infested the area seemed content to stay in the partially flooded factory and not wander. And while bloodworms were unpleasant to deal with if they decided to leave their hive in Dry Rock Gulch, the aggressive robots in the Galactic Zone could prove to be a bigger problem should they break out into the rest of the park. Kiddie Kingdom would have to be approached carefully, because of the rads that infested the area, and everyone seemed to be in agreement to leave it for a couple of power armour wielding individuals to clear, just to be on the safe side.

 

And with some pointers on how to approach and handle the leaders of the different raider gangs, the prep work was all done. The sun was waning in the sky, and they decided that they would all spend the night in Sanctuary before starting out for the transit centre that would take them to the park. Once they got in, got settled, and assessed the situation, we had a couple of options for how to deal with the park, but we would wait on their word to move. Nate already had Minutemen rotating in and out to give the ones who assisted in the Gunner assault a break and keep the troops fresh, and most of them would be staying at Sunshine Tidings Coop as they waited on the word to move, close enough to mobilise quickly but far enough away that they didn’t drain Sanctuary’s resources. Arthur would also have the Brotherhood organised and ready to go when we needed them, and Dez was slowly moving in some other spies into the park, so that messages could be passed back and forth and also so we would have even more help when we’d need it. It was when we were wrapping up that there was a sharp, heavy knocking on the door, so loud the intensity seemed to temporarily paralyse everyone in the room.

 

I was the first to recover, and as I swiftly stood to answer it, Nate asked, “You expecting anyone?”

 

I shook my head in response, but before anyone could say anything else, I opened the door and found myself standing toe to toe with Lancer Captain Kells. I could only swallow hard, and as I opened my mouth to say something, he didn’t even give me a chance. “Is Elder Maxson here?” he asked flatly.

 

Opening the door wider, I invited him in, and Arthur stood from where he’d been half-sitting/half-leaning on the arm of a chair. Before either of them could say a word, however, Ruby stood from the table, clutching a can of water in her hand as she sauntered into view. Chuckling, she commented, “Still crashing parties, Kells? Seems about right.”

 

He started, but quickly overcame his momentary surprise. “Knight Chambers? It’s been so long, you’ve been presumed dead.”

 

“Sorry to disappoint,” she replied swiftly and sarcastically as she took a sip.

 

Kells cleared his throat, obviously not quite sure how to handle Ruby. “I’m not here to chase down possible deserters, I’m here because _Elder Maxson_ has yet to return to the Prydwyn.”

 

“I was returning in due time, Captain, I apologise for the delay,” Arthur replied diplomatically.

 

“In due time? With all due respect, sir, it’s been almost five days since you were last at the Prydwyn.”

 

“I was with a contingent of soldiers who have been in contact with the Prydwyn at all times during this important mission.”

 

“Taking out mercenaries is important? Pardon me, sir, but I think our overall goal is far more important.”

 

“Our goals have shifted, Captain, as you are well aware.”

 

“That’s what you call it? _Shifted_? Just what has the little Minuteman witch been feeding you to change your mind so readily?”

 

_Wow, okay, we’re going there? I guess we’re going there._ “Excuse me, I’m _right here_ ,” I said with disgust, folding my arms.

 

Kells steadily ignored me as he simply continued on his tirade. “Ever since you’ve been in contact with her, you’ve changed. I’ve noticed it, the men have noticed it. You’d have to be blind to not see the affect she has on you.”

 

Arthur’s eyes narrowed. “And just what are you saying, _Captain_?”

 

“I’m saying that perhaps you need to take a step back and reevaluate our presence and purpose here.”

 

The Last Maxson visibly bristled, standing tall at his full height, hands clasped behind his back, eyes narrowed. “And perhaps _you_ should take a step back, restudy the Codex, and realise your place before you’re relieved of duty, Kells. The lack of trust in your Elder is disturbing, and from someone who has been in the Brotherhood as long as you have, I find it unacceptable. Now, this meeting was adjourning, yes?” His eyes flicked to me for confirmation, and I nodded. “Good. I shall return to the Prydwyn immediately, then, since her Captain seems incapable of performing his duties unsupervised.”

 

He walked briskly past Kells and I hurriedly opened the door for him, leaving it open for the Lancer Captain to follow. He turned on his heel, visibly fuming at the verbal dressing down - in front of non-Brotherhood personnel no less - and he particularly glared at me as he exited the house. I breathed a sigh of relief as I closed the door behind them, glad to have that negativity out of my house. My brow furrowed as I considered that perhaps not all of the Brotherhood soldiers would fall in line. Not that I thought that they would just blindly obey whatever Arthur told them, but to come out and question the Elder in front of everyone like that, that crack was potentially deeper than I’d anticipated it could be. If it deepened, that could spell trouble for us down the line.

 

Ruby slung an arm around me. “Don’t worry about Kells. His bark is vicious, but he’s a stickler for the rules. He’s a good war hound. Maxson tells him to heel, he’ll heel.”

 

I swallowed and smiled, but something in me just couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t the last of the dissent that we would hear about. I could only hope that we could all weather the storm that I felt was brewing.


	29. Reconnection

_I feel like I've been on this earth many times before ..._

 

_I can feel this for sure,_

_I've been here before ..._

 

_~~ "Deja Vu", Teena Marie_

 

 

\-----------

 

After Arthur left, the others slowly started to trickle out. The railroad contingent - including Ruby and Charon - slipped out to head toward their safe house as Nate hugged me goodbye and relayed directly to the Institute. A little part of me ached, not knowing when I’d see him next. His last stay in the Institute had been his longest yet, obviously, after Shaun’s passing. From the way he was talking, he expected to take about the same amount of time, possibly even longer. And, of course, Deacon and Ruby and Charon were all leaving for Nuka World in the morning, and the length of their absence was to be determined, depending entirely on factors that were out of our control. And who really knew when Arthur would come down from the Prydwyn again. Not that he was imprisoned there, but I hoped he took this time to evaluate his troops and their loyalty and do what he could to assuage any fears and get them to trust him as implicitly as they had been.

 

So much was happening, seemingly all at once, and I was still stuck here in Sanctuary. Carrington had done an excellent job with me, as my pain level was barely existent and my energy was back to pre-injury levels. Still, I couldn’t help but feel like I was being shuffled aside. It was nice that my friends and colleagues were concerned enough for me to put me on leave, essentially, but I was about as recovered as I was going to get, and another week or two or more wasn’t going to do much. The break was nice, but I yearned for it to end. I was once more starting to feel rather … well, useless. I mean, I provided important information, which was always helpful, but it’s not like missions like these couldn’t be carried out without my intel. It would be more difficult, yes, but such was most things in the wasteland. In the Castle, I at least had other duties to attend to, Minutemen to coordinate and settlements to run interference for. In Sanctuary, it was peaceful and quiet and there was no real busy work to be done at this time of year. Ordinarily I would have loved the chance to kick up my feet and just relax and do nothing, but since coming here, inactivity was starting to make me antsy.

 

Of course, when RJ approached me after everyone else had left and asked if I could spare a moment, I smiled and agreed, because I had a feeling this would end up giving me some purpose. Sitting down at the table, across from each other - Nick eyeing us both curiously - RJ scratched the back of his neck as he sighed and began. “I know you probably know … all about Duncan. And you said you’d help me get that cure for him from Med-Tek whenever I was ready. Well …” he chuckled, “…I guess I’m done being stubborn and ready to ask you for help.”

 

“Awesome!” I said as I clapped my hands once before clasping them on the table. “I assume you have the code for the terminal already?”

 

He patted a portion of his coat near his heart and replied, “Got it right here. Even tried to get into the place once, but it was swarming with ferals on the outside. Wasn’t sure what might await me inside, so I backed off, figured I’d come up with a plan sooner or later.”

 

I reached for some paper and the carpenter’s pencil I used to sketch with. “There’s only ghouls onsite, and only one glowing one, so there isn’t _too_ much to worry about.”

 

RJ snorted. “Not too much to worry about when there’s a glowing one in play, she says.” He shook his head as he added, “Wish I had your optimism.”

 

Shrugging, I mused, “Could always be worse. Could be a deathclaw waiting in there.”

 

He outright laughed. “Might wanna work on your silver lining talk, there.”

 

I stuck my tongue out at him as I sketched out our path inside and noted where various obstacles and enemies would pop out at. It was really a pretty standard sweep, all things considered, the glowing one being the only higher level enemy we’d have to worry about. But between RJ’s sharpshooting and Nick’s reliability with a gun, I knew we wouldn’t have any problem.

 

Nick, however, wasn’t so sure. “You sure you want to go out on a mission? So soon?”

 

Sighing, I countered, “Nick, I’m not made of glass. I’m as good as I’m going to get and I’m starting to go stir-crazy. I _need_ something to do.”

 

He didn’t look like he wanted to agree with me, but he had no real counterpoint to offer. As a sort of compromise, he suggested, “If Med-Tek is as full of ghouls as you say, why don’t we take one more person with us? Just to be on the safe side.”

 

RJ didn’t seem averse to the idea. “Couldn’t hurt.”

 

“Who would we get on such short notice, though?” I asked. I didn’t know many of the Railroad agents that well, save for Glory, Deacon, and High Rise. Deacon already had a mission ahead of him we couldn’t interfere with, Glory was all the way back at the Castle, and I didn’t want to take High Rise away from the safe house he ran. I also didn’t want to short Sanctuary on Minutemen personnel, as we had enough to keep her running and safe at the moment.

 

“What about Danse?” RJ suggested, interrupting my musings.

 

“Danse? Is he here?”

 

“Yep. He came with us on the Gunner mission and afterwards he decided to hole up here for a little bit instead of returning to the Castle. Or the Brotherhood airship. He’s in the guest house right now, I can ask him if he wants to tag along.”

 

Well, if anything, Danse was a solid choice. With his training, we would be a formidable group. Those ferals wouldn’t stand a chance against us, not even the glowing one. “Sounds good. I can brief him tomorrow morning, and then if we’re all ready, we can set out then.”

 

“Yes ma’am,” RJ replied as he stood. “I think I’ll turn in now. The guest house still has some open beds last I checked.”

 

I walked RJ to the door and bid him goodnight, and he gave me a casual salute before he meandered over to where the non-permanent residents of Sanctuary stayed. As I closed the door, I heard a sigh behind me as Nick commented, “I’m not sure you going out there is such a good idea, doll. Why don’t you let us handle it?”

 

Rolling my eyes, I turned to face him. “I’ll be fine. I’m not gonna break, I promise. I just _need_ to get out there and do something, alright? I’m recovered, so why not?” He remained silent, but in the way that I could tell something was still bothering him. “What’s wrong?” Stepping closer, I tugged gently on his lapels as I looked him in the eye. “Why are you resisting me going out on a mission? This isn’t anything new or more dangerous than ones we’ve already run. So what’s so different about this one?”

 

He sighed as he reached up to cup my cheek. “I can’t help it, doll. I almost lost you. I was watching when you got hit with that minigun, and I was powerless to stop it. In that moment … my whole world stopped.” He shook his head. “I’ve been living an awful long time, even longer than I can clearly remember these days. And I’ve never had a connection like I’ve had with you. It’s … it’s like you complete some part of me that I didn’t even know was missing. I don’t really know how to describe it, but … it’s like when two people are separated for so long, they get used to the solitude, get used to the other person being gone. And then once they come back together, they remember, and they never want to let go. I _never_ want to let go of you. I don’t want to go back to my life before I met you. The business I’ve cultivated in Diamond City, it’ll never fulfill me like it once did. That’s probably not exactly _healthy_ , but … it’s how I feel.”

 

My heart ached to hear his perspective, to hear him speak from the heart. He wasn’t normally one to come out and say how he felt a lot of the time, he preferred action to words. But this confession of his, it struck a chord deep within me. It resonated so much because I felt the exact same way. If I never saw Winnipeg again, if I never went back home, I wouldn’t care at all. In fact, despite how tough life could be out here, I definitely preferred it to my normal, waking life. Preferred it because I felt like I’d finally found a purpose, a reason for my existence, and I’d also found someone who completed me, who complemented every aspect of myself, who supported and loved me unconditionally. That kind of thing was something I’d never had before, and I also never wanted to let it go. I leaned in and gently kissed him, pulling away only to murmur, “I know. It’s how I feel, too.”

 

He nodded. “Then you understand why I hesitate.”

 

“I do. But like you said … we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. And I can’t just sit back and hide myself away. I have a purpose in this world and I need to see it through.”

 

His arms circled around me and pulled me close. “Just promise me you won’t do anything reckless.”

 

Smirking, I replied, “I think I can swing that.”

 

Nick chuckled as he pulled me into another kiss, this one long and sensual, the kind that made my toes curl. The kisses we’d been exchanging during my recovery were short and sweet, lovely enough to tide us over, but we weren’t going to wait any longer. Nick sidestepped the wall he stood by and guided us both down the hall as he walked backwards, kicking open my bedroom door. We were all hands and lips as I kicked off my boots and socks and wiggled out of my jumpsuit, but as I stood there stripped down, he paused. Taking his hat off, he loosened his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt.

 

“Nick?” I asked, stepping toward him. “Are you sure?”

 

“I … I want to try. Maybe just the shirt …” He cast his eyes down and away, like he was questioning his decision.

 

I settled a hand on his metal one as it paused near one of his lower buttons. “If you don’t really want to do this, you don’t have to.”

 

He smiled at me as he finished unbuttoning his shirt and pulled it out of his pants. “I want to try.” And with that, he shrugged off his shirt and coat at once, lying them on the top of the dresser beside us. Looking up and down my naked body, he chuckled softly. “Still don’t know what you see in me. Just look at you, you’re _perfect_ …”

 

I silenced him with a kiss as I pushed him toward the bed. “Hush,” I whispered as I pulled away. “I love you, Nick, completely. Every single part of you. And if you won’t believe what I say, well …” I smirked, “… let me show you.” With that being said, I kissed him with everything I had, our tongues intertwining as I loomed over top of him, my fingers sweeping over his exposed skin. My lips eventually left his, skimming over his jaw and nibbling at his neck, the sounds of his moans like music to my ears. This was new territory for us, me taking over and him lying back, though I had a feeling that it wouldn’t last too long. Nick was _letting_ me take control for the moment, the moment that he felt vulnerable and maybe a little scared. Once he recovered, I knew he’d come roaring back, and so I resolved to use this opportunity to show him just how much I loved every single part of him. I kissed and nipped down one side of his neck, the intact side, before I slowly made my way over to the other side, the one with metal and wires exposed. His disintegration wasn’t near as bad as his brother’s, but age was wearing on the prototype synth all the same. I licked around the opening, and Nick gasped, stiffening beneath me as he held still, no doubt wondering just what I was planning on.

 

The first time my tongue touched metal, the sounds he made was downright ungodly. He shifted and moaned, his body involuntarily bucking underneath me as he hissed and shuddered. I took full advantage of it as I laved my tongue against the metal and wiring lying underneath his skin. I figured it must be extra sensitive without the skin covering it, dampening the sensations. This was direct contact and if he hadn’t been hard before, he definitely was now. I could feel it against my inner thigh, and while I longed to finally feel him inside me again, I restrained myself. We weren’t just fucking this time, this time every action was an expression of our feelings for each other, and I was bound and determined to see this through. He shivered and shook as I continued, my fingertips memorising the lay of his skin, where each part connected to each other. His hands gripped my hips, hard, no doubt hard enough to leave bruises there, but I didn’t care. His eyes had drifted closed as he lost himself in the sea of sensations that I was giving him. One of my hands wandered far enough south to rub at his hardness through his pants, and he bucked up into it, wanting it, needing it, but downright whimpering as words escaped him. I could see why he liked to dom, the power was intoxicating, having someone writhing beneath you, subject to your each and every whim. I sucked on his exposed jaw, and he gasped, “Lia,” as he shuddered hard, gripping me tight and pulling me to him. From the way he grit his jaw, I could tell that he’d just come, just from this ministrations alone, and I grinned, drunk with the power that I wielded.

 

Once he started to come down, some, I gently peppered his neck his kisses. His grip loosened and I took that opportunity to kiss, lick, and nip my way down his torso, exploring every inch of skin that I could, intact or not. He had softened after his orgasm, but he was starting to perk up yet again. The advantage of being a prototype synth, I supposed. I finally made it to his waistband and I unzipped his pants, working his dick out before I licked long stripes up and down its length. It responded well to me, perking up more and more before I plunged the whole length into my mouth. I felt Nick’s hands entangle themselves in my hair, and I flicked my eyes upward to see him watching me closely, those acid-yellow eyes practically burning a hole through my skull with the intensity. I breathed deeply through my nose as I relaxed and did my best to hold off my gag reflex as the head of his dick breached the back of my throat. It took some work, some hard breathing, even some gagging and coughing on my end, but even with tears rolling down my face I couldn’t stop, couldn’t allow myself to stop. His heated gaze simply spurred me onward, the way he breathed heavily and how his hips stuttered, wanting to thrust but also not wanting to overwhelm me. He let me go at my own pace for a while, slowly sliding his length in and out of my mouth, testing my own limits with my gag reflex. My hands rested on his thighs as I balanced myself, tensing my own legs together as if that would somehow take care of the tension I carried in between them. My clit ached for touch, cried out with need as I soaked my own legs as I sat on them. But Nick was far more important than my own need, and so I pushed ever onward, moaning as I knew the vibration from my lips would complement what he was feeling quite well.

 

Nick couldn’t stay out of control for too long, however, and his hands finally tightened their grip in my hair and pulled me off of his dick, a line of drool still connecting my lips to his cock. He smirked as he commented, “Now ain’t that a sight.” In the blink of an eye he’d pulled me up the bed and flipped us so that he loomed over top of me, his lips crashing into mine as we shared each other’s passion. His dom side had fully taken over as he pinned me to the bed with his body, his skin covered hand reaching between us and dipping between my folds. I whimpered as he lightly brushed my clit, and I could feel him grin as he commented, “You really worked yourself up, didn’t you? Don’t worry, princess, Daddy will take care you.”

 

I moaned as that voice did things to me that no other voice could, my insides feeling warm and tense, ready and waiting for whatever it was he wanted to do. His teeth nipped at my neck and collarbone as his fingers switched on their vibrate, causing me to sharply inhale as they lightly, lazily stroked my clit. He kept going between my clit, tracing my folds, and eventually sliding two fingers inside me, curling them as he hit just the right spot. I clutched his shoulders with a vice grip as he teased me mercilessly, dipping down to suck a nipple into his mouth as he fingered me. My thighs trembled with the tension, tension that had been building up for a long time and that I was on the verge of releasing. Whimpering, I pleaded, “Daddy, _please_.”

 

Releasing my nipple I could _hear_ the smile in his voice as he asked, “Please what? You need to be specific, princess.”

 

Gasping and flushed, there was no hesitation as I blurted out, “Please, I need to come, Daddy, please let me.”

 

He shifted and his teeth grazed my ear as he whispered directly into it, “Then come for me, princess. Come for Daddy.”

 

My whole body tensed all at once, everything coalescing as my world narrowed down to Nick and only Nick. The orgasm that swept over me was intense, and he only drew it out longer as he lazily circled my clit. Just as it started to get to be too much, he withdrew, though only for a moment as he parted my legs and slowly pushed his length into me. My eyes fluttered closed as he sheathed himself, lazily pumping in and out of me as he rode out the last vestiges of my orgasm. When my breathing started to even out, he increased his pace, fucking me deep and hard as he started ratcheting up the vibration in his dick. I wrapped one leg around his waist as we kissed deeply, our tongues brushing up against one another as he sped us both along toward a second orgasm. I was fully submissive now, giving into him and his whims as he fondled my breasts, squeezing them and brushing over the nipples that stood on end in his wake. My second leg, the one not wrapped around his waist, situated itself along his leg, my foot brushing along his calf. We were pressed so close together that the base of his cock kept brushing against my clit every time he ground against me on the downstroke. Our bodies were pressed so close together, there wasn’t any space to be seen between us, and the feel of his bare skin against mine was absolutely amazing. _He_ was amazing. He was everything I ever wanted and needed, everything I didn’t even know I would need. He filled every space within me that was empty, spaces that I both knew about and those that didn’t, completing me in a way that left me feeling vulnerable and yet safe. Nick Valentine was everything to me, and as far as I was concerned, I hoped this odd jump that I’d taken was indeed permanent because I couldn’t picture ever leaving the Commonwealth, leaving him behind.

 

As both of our second climaxes drew near, we both trembled and shook, the emotion we were pouring into each other strong and mind-blowing. If I’d thought my first orgasm was intense, it was nothing on the second. I’d had tears squeeze out before if it was intense, but I outright sobbed it was so much, so overwhelming. Nick held me close as he worked through his own, his vibration slowing down in intensity until it gradually cut off. He rolled over onto his side, but never let go of his grip on me, keeping me close as he stroked my hair while I sniffled. For the longest time we simply laid there, unaware and uncaring of the world around us. Because we were each other’s world. In each other we’d found something exceedingly rare, and we both clung to it, refusing to let go. And may hell rain down on any who attempted to separate us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was initially planning on more for this chapter, but the feels-y smut kind of took over. Blame JayceCarter for it, she made me do it! *points*


	30. Think with my heart, move with my head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 30! It feels like a milestone :D Some action going down in this one, setting up for future stuffs. Hope y'all enjoy. :)
> 
> Also, question ... I'm going to making a graphic for this story, and since I've long since made Lia in the game, would y'all like to see what she looks like in game? I definitely would like to share raider!Deacon with you, too, since you guys know I had to make his alter-ego. EDIT: I have updated the end of the chapter with a picture of her. I also added a title graphic to chapter one, and I'll be adding in a graphic of raider!Deacon once we get to him. ;)

_Afraid to lose control,_

_And caught up in this world,_

_I've wasted time, I've wasted breath,_

_I think I've thought myself to death,_

 

_I was born without this fear,_

_Now only this seems clear,_

_I need to move, I need to fight,_

_I need to lose myself tonight ..._

 

_~~ "Come with Me Now", Kongos_

 

 

\-----------

 

Despite the activity of the previous night, we were up bright and early the next morning so that we could brief Danse on the mission, provided he did want to go. And of course he did, in fact he was raring for action. I imagine that, compared to his life in the Brotherhood, this new normal was strange for him. He was used to mission after mission, seeing action constantly, and now that everything seemed like it was paused, it had to leave him as antsy as I was feeling having nothing to really do. He was already suited out in his Brotherhood jumpsuit - power armour ready to go - and had his bag packed before anyone. Both him and RJ took breakfast in my house as we went over the details of the mission and what we would be facing once we got the Med-Tek, and any possible obstacles along the way. The best route to get there would be to travel along the northern edge of the Commonwealth, shooting toward Tenpines Bluff and then curving down toward our target. That way we could miss a lot of raider encampments and other enemies that would only slow us down. After we cleared the location, the plan was to go ahead and make our way to Goodneighbor so RJ could drop the cure off with Daisy as soon as possible. After all, the sooner Duncan got it, the better off he’d be.

 

Because of the route we’d chosen, it was mostly peaceful. We made it to Tenpines Bluff about mid-morning, which was currently deserted as the settlers had decided to hunker down at the Castle for the winter. I didn’t blame them, only two of them and limited resources at this location for the time being. They’d be back come spring, however, ready to start planting and even expanding as the Minutemen took more and more settlers under their wing. We were careful to immediately start the southern turn after Tenpines and avoid Outpost Zimonja, as that little nesting of raiders had yet to be addressed and we weren’t too keen on addressing it yet.

 

We made good time, fortunately, and approached the old Med-Tek building around noon or so, approaching warily as we knew that there were ghouls in the area nesting, waiting for the unsuspecting wastelander to stumble upon them. RJ took point, and with my intel, he was able to snipe the ghouls in the plaza in front of the building, eliminating any threat they posed. With Danse with us, decked out in power armour, stealth was not something we could really rely on. Instead, we used it to our advantage, letting Danse lead us once we got inside and allowing him to draw attention to himself. Once the ghouls knew he was there, they would try to attack him, but we could safely taken them down, along with the fire support Danse himself provided. It was actually easier doing it this way instead of sneaking around and trying to hit them all before they could really recognise where the attack was coming from. And, of course, having a Brotherhood-trained soldier with us was a blessing. Between all of them I felt quite inadequate in my shooting abilities, but I grit my teeth as we pressed onward, determined to see this mission through to the end. I didn’t really matter here, the cure and Duncan and RJ was all that mattered. MacCready wasn’t just a merc anymore, he was a part of our little wasteland family, and we would do anything for our family. It had taken him a while to realise that, but someone like him, he had good reason to not just give away his trust like that. His trust was something that was _earned_ , and in the previous months of working together, he had finally decided to act on that trust that we’d been slowly building, brick by brick.

 

Making our way to the basement portion, where the cure was housed, was far more time consuming than I initially anticipated. Ghouls just came out of the woodwork, swarming us from different locations, and we often had to take a step back and just down a group of them and wait to see if any more would come. Which, more often than not, they did. Progress was slow, but steady, and finally we made it. My nerves were about shot, listening for the tell-tale grunt and growl of the ferals and the sound of the mad scramble they made for any source of disturbance. There was really just one big enemy left: the glowing one. I got a look of him through the window and it felt like my heart squeezed in my chest. He looked just like any other feral, save for the glowing neon green radiation that covered him, oozing off of him in places. I swallowed hard, motioning to the others that this was it, that he was in there. RJ took up a position on the opposite side of the door while Nick and I stayed on the other. Once we were ready, Danse clunked his way over and opened the door, expecting to be ambushed immediately.

 

And he was. As soon as the door opened and the glowing one realised what was going on, he rushed the Sentinel, growling and flailing as he did so. Danse backed up, opening fire, and RJ and Nick and I waited until it cleared the doorway. Once it did, we fired on it, and between all of us, it only nicked Danse’s armour before it went down in a pile of radioactive goo. There wasn’t much that made me want to gag anymore, but the sight of a dead glowing one was definitely one of them. I was glad that we’d all doubled our Rad-X doses, because I could practically feel the radiation coming off of him. Or maybe that was just my paranoid imagination.

 

Either way, the path to the cure was now clear, and RJ ran in and snatched it up with a whoop. For a brief moment, his whole face changed, the worry lines melting away as the relief sunk in. To see him in a state of elation like that, it was amazing, and I was incredibly happy for him. The hard part was now over, we just had to take the cure to Daisy and have it delivered.

 

Because of the time we’d taken to get through the entire facility, it was well into the evening by the time we left Med-Tek, and it was approaching midnight when we finally entered the gate into Goodneighbor. Everyone eyed Danse in his Brotherhood power armour, but Nick made a point to hang close to him, to hopefully allay any suspicion. Once RJ dropped the cure off with Daisy, we all went to the Hotel Rexford for a well-deserved rest before we made our way back to Sanctuary. Well, at least, Danse and Nick and I would. As we lounged in the lobby of the Rexford, RJ piped up, “If it’s alright, I think I’d like to stay here for a little bit. Daisy said the caravan would bring Duncan back with them, and I wanna be here when he gets here.”

 

I smiled as I sipped my beer. “Of course, RJ. Stay as long as you need to. We’ll be waiting in Sanctuary for you.”

 

A look of relief washed over him as he visibly relaxed, as if he anticipated having to barter and beg to stay. “Thanks, Lia. I … I don’t really know how to repay you. Except …”

 

He pulled a small bag out of his pack and pushed it toward me, and as he did so I immediately recognised it as the bag of caps that I’d paid him. I immediately pushed it back toward him. “Keep it. Use it for Duncan when he gets here. I’m sure after everything the kid’s gone through, he could use a little spoiling,” I said with a wink. He started, surprised at my reaction, and I couldn’t say I was surprised at his. For him, caps were everything, so to even offer them back meant a lot. But I didn’t want to take it, it was his now. Hell, I really didn’t need caps, as Nate had been surreptitiously handing me caps here and there and I’d just been saving them up. Between the Minutemen’s armoury and the Brotherhood’s contribution, I hadn’t needed to stock up on ammo in a long time, and I had little need of buying much aside from food or drink every now and then, so I’d just been collecting them. I hadn’t collected them in a while, but I suspected that should I want, I could live quite comfortably. I would have felt bad taking money from a father about to receive his son after being separated for a while.

 

RJ shook his head. “You turn down caps for a kid you don’t even know?”

 

I had to laugh. “I risked my _life_ for a kid I didn’t even know, caps are nothing compared to that.” I downed the rest of my beer and balanced the bottle in my lap. “Seriously, RJ, keep it. Consider it a gift to a friend.”

 

He safely tucked the sack of caps back in his pack as he muttered, “You this generous with all your friends?”

 

Before I even had a chance to answer him, the door to the Rexford swung open, and a certain mayor swaggered in. “Heard there was a little party going on and I wasn’t invited,” he rasped, throwing a grin at Nick as he greeted him, “Valentine. Vaultie. RJ. Good to see you guys again.” He plopped himself down on the sofa next to me, a little close for comfort if Nick’s narrowed eyes told it, and John pointed to Danse with the hand that held a half-drank bottle of whiskey. “Who is this, though? Heard he came in wearing Brotherhood power armour.”

 

“ _Former_ Brotherhood,” Danse corrected him. “For now, at least.”

 

“For now?” He chuckled. “That’s gotta be an interesting story. Don’t see too many of you guys in here, though one or two come for a taste of the _others_. So, you friends with these guys?”

 

“Yes, he is,” I replied without hesitation. “He works with the Minutemen now, as liaison between us and the Brotherhood.”

 

“Ah. You guys been pretty busy, huh? Seems like you’re recruiting just about everybody to your side.” He took a swig from the bottle he carried before he asked, “I can trust that there will be no trouble, yes?”

 

Danse shook his head. “No trouble from me.”

 

“Good, good. Goodneighbor’s of the people, for the people, and I don’t like it when anyone brings down the party vibe.” He winked before he stood, wavering just slightly on his feet, though I had to wonder if that was just part of his gait now. “Have fun, and if you’re looking for a bit _more_ fun, feel free to join us in the Third Rail. Magnolia’s on fire tonight.”

 

“When isn’t she?” RJ mumbled.

 

Nick tipped his hat. “Will do, Hancock.”

 

None of us were really up for that kind of night, however, as we were all tired from the mission we’d undertaken and just wanted a good night’s sleep after we finished our drinks. I was too tired to even have some fun with Nick, but considering we were headed back to Sanctuary and the privacy of my own house, it wasn’t as much of a loss. Instead, I curled up into Nick as we laid down, sleep just a heartbeat away.

 

Because of the late hour that we got in, we all ended up sleeping in, but we had little to worry about today as the hard part of the mission was over and done with. All that remained was to return home. And so, we all bid RJ goodbye, Danse got back into his power armour, and we made our way out of Goodneighbor, taking a path that skirted by Bunker Hill so that we could get north of the sprawling ruined city sooner. There were a few risky spots, but with a Brotherhood-trained soldier decked out in power armour accompanying us, we didn’t have much to worry about. Just his presence alone was a deterrent, and if anyone did choose to engage us, they wouldn’t have long to regret it as his training was impeccable. Danse struck me as the kind of person who never really relaxed, who spent every waking moment when he wasn’t on a mission honing his skills and training, pushing himself to his limits to be even better than he was the day before. His dedication was admirable, if his trust was misplaced, though it seemed whatever Nate and Deacon had talked to him about, they had managed to sway him over to working with us. I had never asked Nate or Deacon about it, and didn’t know Danse well enough personally to broach the subject with him, so I let it lay, comfortable enough in my friends’ trust in him to trust him, myself. In game, Danse was my big teddy bear, but in real life he was far more unknown to me, though that was likely because I’d had so little a chance to interact with him. Since he was staying at Sanctuary for at least the time being, I figured perhaps I’d get the chance to get to know him a little better.

 

We had only just passed Bunker Hill when Danse paused. “What is it?” Nick asked, holding his pistol warily.

 

“I’m getting a signal … a distress signal,” he replied flatly, his helmet tilted ever so slightly like he was listening to the broadcast he was picking up. “It’s from a caravan. It says they’re pinned down near the old Wattz Consumer Electronics building.”

 

I gasped. “Ada!”

 

Danse turned to me. “So you know what’s going on, then?”

 

“Yes! We need to get over there right now, I just hope we’re not too late to save them.”

 

In the game, once the player character arrived at the scene, all the humans were dead, and Ada was the only one still alive. I was hoping that perhaps we could at least save one or two, and that’s what I was determined to do as we set off at a slight detour that would take us to Wattz. Despite the urgency, we still had to be mindful of where we were, because stumbling into a group of raiders would only hold us up and deplete us of ammo. It was frustrating, but necessary, picking our way through the rubble of the wasteland, trying to get to the caravan group in time to save them.

 

While we were able to get to where the caravan had hunkered down without having to fight off raiders or other dangers of the Commonwealth, we were still too late to save most of the caravan. Just like in the game, only Ada was left, battling it out with several other robots. “There!” I yelled, pointing at her, “save that robot!” I took a few careful shots, able to actually ding an eyebot, and between Danse and Nick, they had the rest of them settled pretty quickly. My heart sank as we approached the only survivor of the attack. I couldn’t help but feel that our lie-in this morning had prevented us from getting here in time, that if only we hadn’t slept in as late as we did, we could have gotten here sooner and rescued more of them. But we hadn’t, and we didn’t, and while I knew from experience that “scripted” deaths could be avoided, it seemed we hadn’t been able to prevent these ones.

 

Ada swivelled around for a moment, scanning to ensure that there were no more hostiles, before she turned to us, her mechanical, tinny voice sounding sad. “My friends … did not survive the attack. Thank you for assisting. I was sure to meet my end here as well.”

 

“Are … you okay?” I asked hesitantly, knowing what the answer would be already.

 

“Physically, the damage is minor, but I am registering sadness and anger at the loss of my friends. It may sound strange coming from a robot, but they were my … family. Again, I thank you for your efforts. I know they would have thanked you as well.”

 

The bodies of the human caravaners were strewn, like they had been in a mad scramble to find cover when they were attacked. The dead husks of all the robots surrounded us, and while I couldn’t pick out most of the caravans own robots, the huge, hulking husk of Porter was hard to miss. “I’m so sorry,” I murmured, catching myself before her name slipped out. I didn’t feel like explaining everything just yet, though explanations were looming, and so I had to just take a deep breath and deal with it when it came up.

 

She nodded - if she could be said to nod, given how stiff her neck was - and simply proceeded with her introduction. “My name is Ada. This is the third time we’ve been attacked by robots like these. Even with the weapon and detection upgrades Jackson gave me, I was unable to defend them.”

 

“Handiwork of the Mechanist, huh?”

 

The robot paused. “How did you know?”

 

Smirking, I replied, “I know a lot about the Mechanist, including who they are and - more importantly - _where_ they are. But before we confront them, we’re going to need a few more pieces to fit the puzzle together, just so we can get into the lair.”

 

“I thank you for your continued assistance. In return, I can give you the schematics for a workbench that Jackson once used to make me and the others. Perhaps you will find it useful.”

 

I chuckled. “I’m sure Sturges would love to get a hold of that.”

 

“I’m sure he would,” Nick quipped, “but first things first, I think it would be more pertinent to track down any leads we have now before we return to Sanctuary.” Ah, the detective in him just couldn’t resist a case.

 

Ada was, of course, more than willing to tell us exactly where to go, though not like I didn’t already know where we were headed. “We last saw a group of the Mechanist robots at the General Atomics factory. We may find information there that will lead us to the Mechanist. I will follow and assist with your permission.”

 

“Of course,” I replied, rechecking my ammo. “Let’s go.”

 

“General Atomics has valuable salvage. Chances are high the robots are still there.”

 

The factory that we were headed for was just about in the exact opposite direction that we’d been going. Because of course it was. My feet were aching because of the limited action they’d seen lately, but I was going to have to get used to that. It was best to go ahead and do this now, or else we could potentially lose what we needed there. I couldn’t depend on them simply waiting around forever, this was real life after all, they would return to the Mechanist sooner or later. I just hoped it was later. Fortunately, the factory was near the Castle, so once we finished up there, we could take a breather in familiar quarters before going back home, at least. I didn’t really like the idea of camping out in the wasteland itself, anyway. I was never a camper to begin with, favouring hotels with a TV and internet over a draughty tent in the woods. To each his own, of course, that was just never my own. We lucked out this time, though, as while it wouldn’t be my own bed in my own house, it would at least be a bed in warm, comfortable surroundings.

 

Twilight was just starting to settle as we approached the old factory, guns drawn, wary of every little movement around us. Danse had a light on his power armour, of course, but he hadn’t turned it on just yet, letting the scanners in his helmet do the trick. He might have to turn them on once we entered, however, because not everybody had the benefit of those scanners. The factory inside was dark, unearthly still for a moment as we all gathered in the lobby, assessing to see where the enemies was. I’d already prepped them on where they could expect resistance, but with these robots, who really knew. Danse did turn on his light so we could navigate the rubble that lay _everywhere_ as we made our way deeper into the factory, Danse and Ada going first and mowing down robots left and right with their laser weapons and Nick and I bringing up the rear and keeping a lookout for enemies that they might miss. We made quite the effective team, as Danse and Nick no longer had to shoulder most of the shooting, and Ada was quite talented in combat. All thanks to the upgrades given to her by Jackson. I still felt bad that we hadn’t been able to save them, but Nate’s words rang around in my head … _You can’t save everyone …_

 

As we finally approached the last room, Nick slipped up and hacked the terminal that would open the doors as Danse stood at the ready. “Everyone, get behind me. Ada, you take care of the smaller two, I’ll take on the big tank. Valentine, Bauer, just follow us and be careful. Take shots if you can, but if you can’t get a clear one, then don’t take it. Better to not take shots than give off friendly fire.”

 

I smirked at the authoritative tone in his voice. It was like he was back in his element once more, and he was relishing his chance to shine. I had, of course, given him deference to lead the mission, though he was taking pointers from me. And maybe it was just me, but it seemed like a weight had lifted from his shoulders. Like he knew who he was and there was no question about it. I was proud of him.

 

I didn’t get long to ponder this, however, since as soon as the doors opened, Danse moved into the room and started the assault, Ada right behind him, charging the other two robots that were found in the area. I couldn’t get a clear shot, but Nick got in some, stopping only to reload. The only real chance I got in the fight was when the obviously injured eyebot came swerving toward me, though my reflexes didn’t allow me to do much more than shriek and hit it with my gun. Nick spun around and followed it, firing the last, fatal shot at it and it gave off a dying beep as it fell to the floor, useless. In the meantime, Ada and Danse had taken care of the others and were waiting on the next objective … which meant it was up to me, then. I had to carefully pick through the large robobrain, knowing what I was looking for but not sure exactly where I would find it. I actually managed to find a fusion core - one more to add to the two that I’d gotten off of Porter, which meant I could make my way to Vault 81 anytime now - and with a little tinkering between Nick and I, we finally found what the Mechanist device. While we technically didn’t need it, since I knew where the next robobrain was and where the Mechanist was ultimately holed up at, I thought it best to go ahead and grab it, if only to confirm what I already knew. Could never be too careful, after all.

 

With the Mechanist device and the plans for a Robotic workbench in hand, we made our way out of the old factory and toward the Castle. Sturges was still at the Castle, anyway, wanting to stay where Tinker Tom was, and I couldn’t find it in myself to send him anywhere else when I was in charge, so I’d let him stay. I knew both of them would love to build it and install the device in Ada, but first, we all needed some damn rest.

 

_One thing’s for sure, though,_ I thought with a smile, _I’m back in business._

 

 

 

 

 

_\-----------_

 

 

 

 

 

_(For my older readers, who might not see my new title graphic, this is Lia and what she looks like in game :) )_

 

 

__


	31. Facing the Strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting patiently while I did the 30 day OTP Challenge. If you've read some of those fics - particularly my Fallout ones - you might recognise the OC you meet here. ;) For funsies, I included a picture at the end of what they look like. :D

_ There's gonna have to be a different man, _

_ Time may change me, _

_ But I can't trace time ... _

 

_ ~~ "Changes", David Bowie _

 

_ \----------- _

 

Ronnie seemed surprised to see us walk up to the Castle, but not unpleasantly so. “Thought you weren’t coming back for a while,” she noted as she greeted us.

 

“We won’t be staying too long, Ronnie,” I replied. “Just gonna see what Sturges and Tom make of some schematics, rest a little, and then we’ll be on our way.”

 

She nodded. “Very well. The Lieutenant general’s already retired for the night, so take care.”

 

“We will,” Nick promised, tipping his hat.

 

Danse dropped his power armour off in the armoury for safe keeping before he slipped into the barracks for some sleep, leaving us to escort Ada down to Railroad HQ and dropping off the plans. We actually had to work to convince Tom to wait until tomorrow to start building the damn thing, he was so excited, and Sturges eventually lead him away, presumably for some distraction. I slipped an arm around Nick as we walked the short distance to the VIP quarters where my bed sat, ready and waiting for me.

 

Out of courtesy, we knocked on the door and waited for Preston to give us the okay to enter, since we weren’t living their full-time anymore. Just as the light spilling from the door had betrayed, he was still up, though he was lounging on his bed, reading. He split a smile a mile wide to see us walk in, undoubtedly thinking it was somebody bringing an issue or problem to him at this late an hour. “Well, well, didn’t think I would seeing you two for a while. What brings you all the way out here?”

 

“Just a mission. Well, technically, we were on our way _back_ to Sanctuary after our mission and it kinda turned into another one …”

 

“Why am I not surprised. You really can’t keep still, can you?”

 

“There’s still a lot to do,” was all I said as I sat down on the bed to unlace my boots and kick them off. Sighing as they left my feet, I murmured, “Now that’s nice.” Having been under the weather and recovering, my stamina wasn’t quite the same as it was before, and my feet definitely were not used to walking all over the Commonwealth. Had to get back in the swing of things sooner or later, though, as I wasn’t lying. Besides waiting for information from Nuka World and how that whole thing was going, I had to finish dealing with the Mechanist, I had to solve the problems in Vault 88, and I even had a certain companion robot to fetch from Vault 81. And then, of course, there was Far Harbor to contend with and all its intricate workings. _Hmm. After all this is done, maybe I should go for Curie first. It’s the easiest out of everything._ And besides that, I had three fusion cores burning a hole in my pack, just ready and waiting to be traded for entrance to the Vault. That was likely the last thought that ran through my brain as I settled down to sleep, dropping off about as quickly as my head hit the pillow.

 

The next morning, Tinker Tom and Sturges were already hard at work assembling the work station they needed in order to install the needed beacon into Ada. While they worked, Nick and Danse and I debated our next move. Since we knew where the robobrain was located, Danse was confused as to why we wouldn’t just immediately proceed to it. Or, why we didn’t just immediately go to the Mechanist’s lair, which he knew I knew where it was, even though I didn’t fully admit it yet.

 

“Because in order to get into the lair, we need what’s called an M-SAT device, and the only way we can get the plans for that is via Jezebel, the robobrain at the Fort Hagen Satellite Array.”

 

“Then why not proceed there immediately?”

 

I shrugged. “I suppose we could, but if we follow Ada’s beacon, we’ll be able to take out a band of roving murder bots, and I don’t really see a downside to that.”

 

The former Paladin had to agree. “That is true. The less threats out there in the Commonwealth, the better.”

 

Nick inhaled a hit of his cigarette, blowing it out as he commented, “We might not be able to track them all, but if we can take care of at least one …”

 

“Exactly. And once we get Jezebel and get her a new body, we get the plans for the M-SAT, install it in Ada, and then we’re ready to take on the Mechanist.”

 

Danse chuckled, shaking his head. “You make it sound so simple.”

 

“Well, why shouldn’t it be?”

 

“Because it rarely ever is.”

 

I opened my mouth to say something, but a whir of mechanics and clunking signalled Ada’s arrival, and our conversation ceased as she approached and announced, “The radar beacon has been successfully installed. I will need two more in order to pinpoint the Mechanists location, unfortunately, but I am already picking up a signal from one of the robobrains. It seems to be located near … Hangman’s Alley.”

 

My heart dropped. “Shit, that’s close to Diamond City.”

 

Nick Valentine flicked his cigarette away and straightened up. “We better leave immediately, then.”

 

After a mad scramble of grabbing supplies and suiting up, we set off across the Commonwealth, determined to intercept the murder bots before they tried to breach the walls of Diamond City. We hoped that, should we not get there in time, that security would be able to at least hold them back. But even the Minutemen had to assist them to deter a coordinated super mutant attack, and even though they spurned small groups of mutants and raiders and ferals, the Mechanist’s robots were more than likely far and above their skill level. Hell, they were technically above _my_ skill level, and yet here I was, flinging myself directly into their line of fire. I was nervous, of course, just as nervous as my first real venture into the Commonwealth, accompanying Nate into Park Street Station to grab Nick. But knowing that both Nick and Danse along with Ada were backing me up, it did help. A little.

 

Following Nick through the back alleys and side streets, we moved as quickly as caution would allow. It wouldn’t do us any good to rush to the location only to be ambushed by raiders in our haste. And so we traveled, weapons raised, ready to engage should we happen upon an enemy and we weren’t as vigilant as we thought we were. Whether it was Nick’s knowledge of the Commonwealth, our vigilance, pure luck, or some combination, we managed to make it near Hangman’s Alley with no holdup.

 

But of course, that was the easy part.

 

When we got there, the murder bots were engaging the raiders that held the small settlement, but the raiders were rapidly losing men and ground and they had taken down perhaps a few of the smaller eyebots, but that was all. The only way they’d been able to hold them off as long as they had is because of their location, forcing the bots into a narrow entrance and allowing them the chance to take shots at them one at a time. They couldn’t hold out forever, though, as the superior firepower was about to take them over. Had I been a religious person, I would have genuflected right then and there that we hadn’t selected this site for a new Railroad safe house, as it was sometimes selected by PAM.

 

As we stood there, peering around the corner of an abandoned building, we considered our options. After observing the situation, Danse murmured, “We might as well wait until the robots take out the raiders. It won’t be too long, and they won’t leave the bots unscathed. Otherwise, we’ll have to take on both the raiders and the bots, making it much more difficult.”

 

I nodded, the logic sound. Danse’s experience certainly shone in situations like this, and indeed he seemed more comfortable than ever. “I agree, let’s just wait and let this play out and then we’ll attack.”

 

“I believe the sentry bot and the other larger robots should be left to Ada and I, considering we possess a higher level of firepower than you and Nick. You two pick off the smaller ones and get in whatever shots you can at the larger ones, should you be able to spare them.”

 

Nick and I agreed, and we took the opportunity to check our ammo, make sure we were fully loaded and ready to go. My hands shook as I slowed down my breathing, fighting against my body’s instincts to run, to get to safety, even just to hide and wait for this whole thing to blow over. I wondered if I would ever get used to this, if I would ever get used to diving into missions, taking out enemies. This was so far and above my normal pay grade. And yet, compared to my previous life of of retail management, this was far more preferable. More often than not, I felt more alive, more useful than I ever had before. I could feel and see the difference I was making in the Commonwealth, an influence I’d never experienced. And we were getting close, now. The whole deal with the Institute and the Brotherhood was over, everyone involved was happy with the resolution, and they would all be cooperating for a better future. Nuka World was in the process of being handled, and really we only had a couple more little things to take care of in the Commonwealth. Then, after that, it was on to Far Harbor, and after that was all said and done with, then maybe … maybe then I could finally relax and rest on my laurels.

 

But not yet. At the moment, I still had a job to do. And as we readied, the Mechanist’s robots finally took out the rest of the raiders and started whirring and roaming, seeking out other humans to eliminate.

 

Danse murmured, “This is it. Follow my lead.” Before he moved out, he lined up and took a critical shot at the massive sentry bot, crippling part of it but not completely, not fully. It wasn’t bad for one shot, though, and now that he had given himself away, he moved out and crossed the road, making for one of the other buildings to take cover as he started picking off the robots. Ada was on his heels, letting off shots right behind him as Nick and I stayed where we were, taking our time as we shot at the smaller ones, the eyebots and the smaller assaultrons. We had caught them off guard, and between that and how the raiders had softened them up a little, the whole affair wasn’t as difficult had we encountered them at their full strength. They were still difficult, hardy opponents, however, and as they advanced on us, we had to retreat back a little bit just to create some space.

 

Letting loose a hail of bullets into an assaultron, I yelled, “Jesus Christ, how many shots can these things take?”

 

“They’ll take all we give ‘em,” Nick replied, standing over me as I crouched before he snatched me back around the corner as the sentry bot let loose a volley toward our position. Danse saw it and reacted quickly, jumping out from his cover and opening fire, hoping to draw its attention toward him and away from us. Fortunately for us - and rather unfortunately for him - it worked a little too well, and the bot started barreling down on him, not slowing down no matter how many rounds were shot into it. My heart clenched in my chest, a sick feeling spreading through my stomach as I wondered if this was happening again, if I would really lose another friend, just like I’d lost Drummer Boy and Jenny. I felt like I could barely breathe as the whole world seemed to narrow yet again, everything slowing down as I reloaded my gun. My hand shook as I pulled it up again and went to aim, and I had to will it to stop before I pulled the trigger, not wanting to waste ammo, even though my target was pretty damn large as it was.

 

Suddenly, amoungst the loud noise of gunfire, there was a distinctly louder, rhythmic firing sound that did not sound like any of our weapons. In fact, if I knew any better, it sounded like a minigun. And then, along with the new fire, green speck of light started sailing past us, pelting the sentry bot and the other robots one right after the other. _That’s not us …_

 

Looking in the opposite direction, I saw a bit of a curious site. Bearing down on us was a super mutant, but one that seemed strangely familiar. Even though we were all in full view and vulnerable, he was only aiming for the robots, taking no shot at any of us. _Is that … is that Strong?_ And beside him was a figure in a suit of power armour, X-01 if my eyes weren’t tricking me. _And who the hell is that?_ I had no idea, but with their combined help, we moped up the rest of the robots in no time.

 

Danse was on edge, and I could tell he was eyeing the super mutant through his helmet. I was more sure of who he was as I approached, even as Danse called out for caution. “It’s okay, I think I know who this is,” I called back, facing the tall, broad mutant as I asked, “Strong?”

 

“Hmmm,” the mutant said gutturally, his eyes narrowing. “How does little human know Strong’s name?”

 

Before I had the chance to say anything, the person in the X-01 suit opened it up and hopped out, revealing themselves to be a little slight wisp of a woman with dark hair, tattoos, and a sneaky grin. “Well if this is who RJ sent us after, I’m not surprised.”

 

That threw me for a loop. “RJ? He sent you? Why?”

 

She hefted her plasma rifle onto her shoulder as she replied, “We were just hanging out in Goodneighbor when rumours started flying about the Major general of the Minutemen taking on the Mechanist. I guess he felt a little guilty he couldn’t join you, so he begged me to go find you and back you up.” She shrugged. “I guess our time spent together in the Gunners has given me a soft spot for the kid, so I couldn’t say no.”

 

I was still at a loss as to who this was, as she was obviously not a specific in-game person. “And you are?”

 

She grinned widely. “Name’s Charley. Former Gunner, merc for hire. Except, this time, I’m just doing this as a favour, since your boy _did_ help me leave the group. By the way, heard you guys took care of them. Guess I don’t really _need_ Strong backing me up anymore, but …” she shrugged, leaving the sentence hanging.

 

So, it seemed we had picked up a couple of new companions, and after a sweep of the bots - during which we found the other radar beacon - Ada confirmed our next destination as the Fort Hagen Satellite Array. Since we were close enough, we decided instead of going to Diamond City and bunking there for the night - since Strong likely wouldn’t be granted entrance - we all decided to head to Sanctuary and rest in comfort for the night. Then it was just a straight shot south the next day down to around Fort Hagen. Charley appreciated the concern for Strong, and even though Danse was extremely standoff-ish and quiet about the idea of a super mutant following us, he kept his mouth shut as we started trudging toward the settlement I called home. It was only early afternoon anyway, so we were passing the Red Rocket safe house by the time dusk started to settle in. It was obviously a lot longer of a journey than had we simply stopped by Diamond City for the night, but in reality, we were no further away from our next destination. We just rested in guaranteed comfort for the night, which was not protested in any way, as well as nixing the possibility that we would be hassled over Strong. And, perhaps, if Charley had approached the settlement without us and just with her super mutant companion, they would at the very least be given a side eye and a wide berth, if not outright turned away. But in my company, nobody said a word to her.

 

After we picked up some rations, we each headed to our own little spaces, with Danse and Charley and Strong bunking at the guest house and Nick and I heading to my own home. It was nice to just sit with Nick in the quiet and talk, much like we’d been doing during my recovery. I just couldn’t quite get enough of it, though; I figured I never would. And that was okay with me.

 

I had just finished eating, intending on turning in fairly soon - maybe after some hanky panky - when there was a knock at the door. Nick answered it for me, opening it to reveal Danse on the other side. “Hey, Danse!” I called out from the table. “Come in. You need something?”

 

Danse nodded to Nick as he stepped past him, walking over to the table and sitting across from me. Taking a deep breath, he said, “I need to talk to you, if you don’t mind.”

 

I nodded. “Of course. What is it?”

 

He paused for a moment before he asked, “Can I be candid with you?” I confirmed that he could and he continued, “I’m extremely uncomfortable with the prospect of traveling with a super mutant. I don’t trust that Charley has that thing under control and if and when it gets off its leash, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

 

“Danse, I’ll be fine, Strong is a good guy.”

 

The former Paladin let out a half-chuckle as he shook his head. “I admire your optimism, even if it belays your caution.” Looking at me in the eye, he said, “I know you’re not from here, and while you know a good many things you probably shouldn’t know, you don’t have the _experience_ that I’ve had. I’ve been in the thick of battles, fighting against mutants and ferals and other nasty creatures and I _know_ exactly what havoc these things can wreck. They may have been human at one point in time, but anything remotely human about them has been stripped out by the FEV. I …” he paused just a moment, his hand subtly clenching as he continued, “… I saw that first hand. I’m sure you already know, as you seem to know everything, about my friend, Cutler. How we met in Rivet City, built up a trading business, joined the Brotherhood together. I’d wager you know what happened to him, how he went missing on patrol, and when I found him three weeks later, he’d already been forcefully exposed to FEV.” Shaking his head, his jaw set, he ground out his next words. “You may know the facts, but you have no idea what it was like to see one of your best friends completely changed, beyond help, beyond reason, feral and gnashing and trying to kill you because that’s all they want to do besides eat.” Danse was quiet for a moment before he quietly added, “I put him down not just because I had to, not just because it would have been the Brotherhood’s directive … I killed him because my friend was already dead. Anything that had bonded us before was gone, killed off by the virus. He was just a shell.” Raising his head to look me in the eye again, he concluded, “I know you think you know just about everything, and I trust you in many things and in many ways, but in this, I cannot.”

 

I let his words sink in, didn’t dismiss his concerns outright. Even though I knew there was nothing to worry about with Strong, this was a difficult step for Danse. He needed to take it, though, needed to shake off the reigns of the Brotherhood that he was still wrapped in, despite the fact that he was no longer a part of them, in spirit if not in name. Reaching across the table, I took his clenched fist in my hand, meeting his gaze as I said carefully, measuring every word before it left my lips, “I can’t begin to imagine what that was like, and I’m sorry you ever had to witness that. You’re right. I know a lot, but I don’t really _know_ with experience what living in this wasteland is like. I won’t ever deny that. And in most cases, when I need to, I rely on the experience of others, people like Nick and Deacon and you, because I know you and I know you won’t steer me wrong. I trust you. And just like I trust you, when it comes to certain things, I need you to trust me.” I reached out and took his other hand in mine, wanting to establish that connection, let him know that I had really listened to him and that I wasn’t discounting his concerns. “Strong is not one of the mutants that kidnapped your friend. He didn’t expose him to FEV. And he _is_ different. He wants to _learn_ , to progress. Maybe not in a human way, exactly, but his days of normal super mutant living is over.”

 

Danse clenched his teeth. “He is an abomination, he needs to die.”

 

“Just like you needed to die, Danse?” I asked, having a pretty good motherfucking idea how the whole reveal of his true synth identity went down, if it was anything like how it happened in game. “The example and not the exception, right?”

 

When I said that, he looked shook to his core, and it seemed I hit the nail right on the damn head. “I am _nothing_ like that mutant.”

 

“I’m not saying you are. What I am saying, is that he deserves a chance just as you deserve a chance. You want to figure out what it is to be a synth, he wants a chance to really figure out what it is to be a super mutant, and even to be _more_.” I gripped his hands as I said earnestly, “I haven’t known loss like you have, haven’t witnessed it as much as you have, but losing Drummer Boy and Jenny … it came damn close to breaking me. Even before then, I would have never done anything to put my friends at risk, but now I hope you’d understand … I would _never_ do anything to endanger anyone I care about. I don’t trust my friends lives with just anyone. But Strong? I trust him. And I know _you_ don’t trust him, but I need to you trust _me_. I’ve never steered you wrong, and I’m not about to start. Strong is good. And we need his and Charley’s help. If anything, our fight today proved that we just may have bitten off a little more than we can chew, because if you think that was tough, that’s gonna be a cakewalk compared to the Mechanist’s lair. We’ll need every good companion we can get, and if Strong and Charley are offering, I’m not about to say no. And not just because I trust RJ’s friend and this super mutant, but because we _need_ them if our mission is going to succeed.”

 

He nodded, his eyes dropping to look at the table. “I can’t say that I fully agree with your decision, I can’t lie to you like that. But … I will do my best to trust you and your judgement. If he sets one foot out of line, though …”

 

“He won’t.”

 

“ _If_ … he does …”

 

“Then he’ll be dealt with. Just like any other companion that turns on us. Which, as of right now, that count is zero. Precisely because I know who to trust.”

 

He took a deep breath, accepting my position and he stood to leave. Before he did, however, he added, “Thank you for hearing me out. Even though I’m still not comfortable with this arrangement, I’m glad to know you aren’t just blindly trusting.”

 

As he set his hand on the doorknob, I called out, “Danse.” He stopped and waited for me to say whatever it was I was going to say. “If you ever need to talk, need some help working things out … you can always come to me. Okay?”

 

Danse nodded, and before he left he murmured a soft, “Thank you.” And then he was gone, slipped off toward the guest house for the night.

 

“Well that was certainly interesting,” Nick commented, slipping into the seat that Danse had previously occupied.

 

I shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not surprised. If anything, I’m surprised he waited this long and waited until we could speak privately to voice his concerns. I knew his history with super mutants, I knew this wasn’t exactly going to be easy for him. But … this is life outside the Brotherhood. Your companions aren’t always going to be 100% pure human, and he needs to come to terms with that. And if Strong can’t help him with that, then nobody else will.”

 

Nick chuckled. “Just toss him right in the fire, eh?”

 

I laughed. “Hey, sometimes it’s best to ease the transition, other times people just need to be shoved into it.”

 

He held his hands up. “Not questioning your methods, just making an observation.”

 

Smiling at him, my finger slowly circled the top of the can of water I’d finished with dinner. “And now that I’ve finished dinner and dealt with party issues … I think I’m ready for my dessert.”

 

Nick’s yellow eyes somehow seemed like they darkened as a sly grin started to grow on his face. “By all means, if that’s what my princess wants, then that’s what my princess will get.”

 

 

 

\-----

 

As promised in the AN, here's Charley. :)

 


	32. New Believers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we come, to the end of the Mechanist. I have one more surprise up my sleeve for this chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. :)

_Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain,_

_My life, my love, my drive, it came from_

_Pain ..._

 

_~~ "Believer", Imagine Dragons_

 

 

\-----------

 

Whenever I got the chance, I had to thank Codsworth, or whoever it was that had installed curtains throughout my house, because otherwise anyone that might be passing by my house would likely get an accidental eyeful. That was one of the few coherent thoughts that ran through my head as I knelt on the dining room floor, Nick’s hand in my hair and his cock in my mouth, buried almost to the hilt. I had gagged already and he’d pulled back, allowed me a little space before he pressed himself in again. It was a little difficult, sometimes, reigning in control over my body’s reflexes, but I was trying. And Nick seemed quite pleased, his eyes smouldering under the brim of his hat as I eased the last couple of inches into my mouth, my lips now buried against his pants, drool leaking out around the sides. He groaned deeply, his hips twitching ever so slightly, but he seemed to restrain himself from thrusting as he didn’t do anything else, simply waited for me to adjust and move on my own accord.

 

Slowly, I slid my lips down his length, my tongue teasing the underside, until just the tip remained. Then I inhaled and sucked him down again, just as slowly, just as carefully, until I’d taken him fully again. I couldn’t go too fast or else risk my gag reflex coming back into play. But if the sounds Nick was making was any indication, he was enjoying the hell out of my ministrations. Pride flared through my chest, spreading down my stomach until I felt it tingle at my very core. Seeing him submit to me in any way was rare, and the way he just let me do what I wanted was almost intoxicating. The only semblance at control he kept was the hand he laid on the back of my head, tangled in my hair, but even that was mostly show as he didn’t force me or use it to set the pace. No, I was the one in control now, and while I wouldn’t stay in that position forever, I was sure going to enjoy the hell out of it while I was.

 

Nick swept aside a piece of hair that had fallen in my face as he purred, “You’re doing so well, princess.” I moaned at the compliment, sending the vibrations directly through my lips and to the dick in my mouth. A half-chuckle escaped him as his hips twitched again. “Oh, you know how to test a man’s control, don’t you?” Had my lips not been stretched over his girth, I would have smiled, but instead I just moaned again and his eyes slitted until I could just barely see the yellow peeping between his lids. It was a lovely sight, and I repeated it over and over until his eyes were completely closed and I had to shift my legs a little because more and more I was wanting some friction between them. Not yet, though, I was enjoying myself a little too much, taking him deep into my mouth and swallowing as I neared the base, working against my body’s natural reactions to intrusions and shutting them down as best I could.

 

I couldn’t always suppress it, however, and I was forced to come off of him with a sharp gag. Coughing to rid myself of the sensation, his fingers stroked my hair. “You’ve done a good job, princess. Now let me do mine.”

 

His hand threaded through my hair and yanked me to my feet, the pleasant sting thrumming through me, and I couldn’t help the aroused whimper that escaped. Nick wasted no time, zipping down my Vaultsuit as I toed off my boots. He was quick but efficient as he pulled off the suit, taking my underwear and socks with it as I unhooked my bra and let it drop to the floor.

 

He grabbed a hold of my hair again and pushed me face down on the table, hoisting one leg up on it for leverage. I gasped softly to feel his fingers ghost over the sensitive points of my back before the curved over my ass and dipped in between my legs. “Already dripping, eh?” he murmured, his voice thick with arousal. His lightly vibrating fingers caressed my clit, making me moan and grind my hips against him helplessly, needing and wanting more and yet not wanting him to stop. He took his fingers away just briefly, just enough to smack my ass before they returned. “You had your fun at your own pace, now let me have mine.” I trembled as his voice felt like it shot a bolt of arousal through me, and I laid my head against the table as I did my best to still my body. His fingers made slow circles around my clit, and that would have been arousing enough, but the way he ratcheted up his vibration had me mewling and whimpering. I was supremely thankful that I had the table to mostly lie on because if I had been standing, there was no way I could have stayed that way

 

Nick started drawing the circles tighter and tighter, and my fingernails started to dig into the varnish of the table as I bit my lip, willing myself to not move as he had his way with me. The one leg that helped steady me and hold my weight started to tremble with the effort, and Nick recognised the telltale signs as he murmured, “That’s it, just let go, princess.” I clenched my teeth, screwing my eyes shut as my world started to narrow down to encompass only what was going on between my legs. Just when I thought I was going to skirt the edge forever, I finally tipped over, my leg giving out as my full weight hung on the table.

 

Just as the most intense waves passed, Nick jerked his hips and buried himself to the hilt inside me. My inner muscles desperately clenched around him, the pressure and the girth only adding to the pleasurable aftershocks of orgasm. He didn’t even move at first, simply allowed the climax to fade as he stood there, drinking it in. Only when it had stopped did he slowly pull almost completely out before pushing himself back in equally as slowly. He took several strokes like this, and I moaned, hoping to encourage him to go faster, but no, he would not be deterred. He was relishing this just as much as I had relished deep throating him. He measured out half a dozen strokes, then a dozen in the same fashion. I started losing count but somewhere around maybe thirty he finally switched on his vibration again. Had he not been pinning my body to the table with his hands and his hips, I might have flown right off of it. “Easy there, doll.” His one hand moved from my hip to smooth its palm up my back, and I laid my head back on the table. His strokes were just as slow, but as he buried himself all the way in me plus his vibration, it was enough to drive me fucking insane. He rubbed against my g spot with every stroke and I whimpered and moaned as he built me right back up. I was so lost in the sea of sensation that I barely even realised when he started picking up the pace, not until he was slamming into me did I finally compute what was happening, and by then he wasn’t even giving me any room to breathe.

 

Suddenly, the hand in my hair wrapped around my throat and yanked me up. His hips still pinned me against the table but me held my body against his. In this position, his cock only rubbed harder against my g spot and my solitary leg trembled as I felt a second crescendo on the horizon. The metal hand around my throat didn’t squeeze too tightly, not even enough to cut off any air flow, just enough to know that he was in charge, that he always would be. His teeth grazed against my ear, latching on and tugging, and I gasped as it felt like electricity shoot through my veins. I wanted to turn my head, wanted to kiss him, but he held me firmly in place, doing exactly what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it, and I was at his mercy. His other hand wandered down to stroke gently against my clit and my hips involuntarily bucked underneath him. I was so close now, so close I could feel the beginning building, threatening to spill over. He slowed his pace and his ministrations just enough so that he wouldn’t push me over just yet, so I would wait until _he_ was ready. As much control as he occasionally let me have, he always took it right back tenfold. It was his way of showing me that he simply allowed me to have whatever control I’d had before. But this, this was the natural order, it was the way we both really enjoyed things, though he did love to tease me endlessly. Whimpering, I pleaded, “P-please.”

 

He knew exactly what the fuck he was doing as he nuzzled my neck, his voice rumbling in his chest as he asked, “Please what?”

 

“Nick, _please_ …”

 

“Uh uh,” he stopped me. “Use your words, princess. Tell me what you want.”

 

With the way his thumb brushed over my clit, I shuddered, unable to hold back, “I need to come, Daddy, _please_.”

 

“Now that’s a good girl.” He turned my head just enough to capture my lips in a deep kiss as he rubbed quickly on my clit, the motions enough to send me right over. He was ready and waiting, the hand that was around my throat immediately reaching around me and pulling me even closer to him, taking my weight as my leg inevitably gave out. I shuddered as his hand kept a slow, even pace over my clit, drawing out the orgasm as his hips stuttered and he buried himself to the hilt, his own climax washing over him. He gave us a few minutes to enjoy the afterglow before he pulled himself out, bending over just enough to pull me up into his arms and carry me to the bed, tucking me in with him as we both rested for the night, needing all of our strength for the coming day.

 

If it wasn’t for Nick waking me the next day, I would have slept in embarrassingly late. And likewise, should any of our companions come to wake me, they would have stumbled over strewn clothes that gave no illusions as to what had happened the night before. And while nobody was in the dark, exactly, about my relationship with Nick, I wasn’t one to just advertise our more illicit activities.

 

Fortunately, the synth detective had a pretty reliable internal clock, and he roused me in plenty of time to take a quick bath and dress for the day, and we were actually stepping out of my house as Danse and Charley were getting into their power armour, Strong and Ada standing by. Weapons and our ammo stashes were all checked and double checked and then we were off, our destination just outside of the infamous Fort Hagen, where Nate had gunned down Conrad Kellogg on his way to infiltrating the Institute.

 

It was a little foggy in the morning, and I feared a potential radstorm on the way in. I had been taking my Rad-X faithfully ever since my bout with radiation sickness, but I was more concerned over us losing valuable time rather than anyone getting sick. As the sun rose higher, however, it burned off the mist, and by the time noon rolled around, it was bright and sunny once more. All the better to mark our targets as we approached the relay.

 

By the time we got there, however, it seemed we were a little late to the party. The Rust Devils and their robots were already deep in conflict with someone else, though I could only get glimpses here and there of who it was. We all raised our weapons, though I signalled to hold fire until we figured out what was going on. Raider groups often clashed, either with other raiders or super mutants or even groups of roving ferals. But this wasn’t quite the same, and I couldn’t really put my finger on it at first. I just felt, deep in my gut, that whoever was fighting these raiders were friendly. Or, would be, if given the chance at an introduction. And so, I gave us the go ahead to start attacking, though I gave careful instruction to be careful of shots and not to aggro whoever was attacking the Rust Devils. Might as well make friends if we could, after all.

 

There weren’t many targets to shoot at once we got to the outside of the array, but we took out the few that were available. Our shooting friend looked startled, but once they saw we were only targeting the raiders, they seemed happy to not turn their gun on us, just as I suspected. As the last robot fell, she hefted her gauss rifle and turned to face us, and my jaw dropped as I got a good look at her.

 

I would have recognised her anywhere. Between the Pip-Boy she sported and the NCR logo emblazoned on the front of her armour and the back of her long jacket, she removed her hat and revealed the tell-tale scar on her deeply tanned forehead. And as if that wasn’t enough, she turned her head and yelled, “Boone! You done playing or what?”

 

Sure enough, Craig Fuckin’ Boone walked out from his vantage point, still wearing his trademark red beret. I had to suppress a laugh as I turned toward her and asked, “Courier Six? Jane?”

 

Her scarred eyebrow raised as she smirked. “My reputation precedes me. Didn’t know word of me reached out here.”

 

“Eh, kinda. It’s a long story,” I said as I shook my head. “The real question is, why are you all the way out here? You’re a long way from the Mojave.”

 

“Well, sorry to say, but we ain’t tourists. We’re tracking down someone called The Mechanist.”

 

“Wait, whoa, hold on … you’re trying to take care of The Mechanist, too? Why?”

 

Jane shifted her stance as Boone stood close to her, his expression inscrutable behind his sunglasses. “Been hearing rumours for a while, people talkin’ about bands of roving murdering robots. I didn’t even believe it at first, figured the desert was just messin’ with people’s heads. But then I saw these robots’ work first hand, and I’ve been tracking their origin across the wasteland. Finally made it to the Commonwealth and picked up a signal from inside this place, here. Dunno if they’re in here or not, but Boone and I are about to find out.”

 

I shook my head. “The Mechanist isn’t in there, they’re deep inside the RobCo Sales & Service Center.”

 

“You’re sure?”

 

“Positive.”

 

“Then why the hell are you out here?”

 

“Because the only way we can access the lair is with an M-SAT device, and the robobrain inside this satellite array has the plans for it. So our plan was to nab the robobrain, build the device, mount it on Ada here, and then we’re good to go.”

 

She chuckled and shook her head. “Damn. Well, I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t get too far before you caught up with us. You mind having a couple of extra guns follow you? I kinda got a personal vendetta in all this.”

 

I smiled widely. “I’d love to have you join us.”

 

The Rust Devils and robots inside didn’t stand a chance against all of us, and we tore a path through the base, grabbed Jezebel, and was out in record time. Then it was just a simple matter of taking the robobrain back to the Castle where a new body could be made for her and where she could give us the plans for the M-SAT device.

 

However, it was late in the day, and there was no way we were going to make it to the Castle by any kind of reasonable hour, and so we all headed back to Sanctuary for the night. It must have been a strange sight for Dex to see me continually return with more and more people with me, but we were able to accommodate Jane and Boone pretty easily, all things considered. All the work Nate and Preston and I had done with rebuilding the Minutemen were really paying off now, as the settlements that weren’t wintering at the Castle were well-stocked and prepared even for an influx in people. And we were in and out so quickly, hardly anybody even noticed us.

 

In our absence, Sturges and Tinker Tom hadn’t been idle by a long shot. They’d used the workbench to upgrade Sarge and also make some more robots to patrol and help out the Minutemen and Railroad. I had suspected they would do that, unable to keep away from the shiny new toy, and anything that eased the burden on the Minutemen and agents was a good thing in my book. They still had quite a bit of junk lying around to make a new body for Jezebel, and when I whispered in Tom’s ear about a little something for me, he was more than happy to oblige. Nick shot me an odd look, wondering just what I was up to, but I just winked at him. I wasn’t sure what personal vendetta Jane had against the Mechanist, but I was hoping to resolve this conflict peacefully. I was gonna give it my best shot, at least.

 

Once the plans for the M-SAT device were handed over from Jezebel and Tom and Sturges got to working on it, night was starting to fall by the time it was finished. As I fell into my bed in the Castle, I kept thinking, _Just one more night. Tomorrow, we finish this_. And we would.

 

I knew that accessing and going through the Mechanist’s lair was not going to be an easy prospect. I hadn’t been embellishing the truth when I told Danse that dealing with that one roving group of bots would look like a cakewalk. Fortunately, our party had only grown since then, and with a super mutant, a former Gunner, an NCR sharpshooter, and the goddamn Courier on our side, there was no way we could lose. Our progress through the facility was slow as we made sure to take care of all of the robots in our way so we wouldn’t be ambushed by a bot we’d initially missed. It was well worth the effort, however, and we carved through the facility with an almost surgical precision. Because of his experience, I had appointed Danse to be in charge, and he took command with a practised finesse that spoke to his Brotherhood past. I trusted him to know the best way to take the robots out and advance, seeing as how he’d done so many similar missions against mutants and ferals in the past, and my decision was definitely not one I was going to regret. I think it also helped put him at ease a little more with Strong, being in command of everyone and him being able to see the mutant take his orders like any other soldier in the past. Danse still had a ways to go, still had a lot of hangups to overcome, but I was gonna be there for him every step of the way. Sure he was a little fucked up, but in game he was always my teddy bear and him being a real live, breathing person didn’t change a thing about how I felt for him.

 

It had to have been hours that we spent advancing our position, little by little, taking out turrets and various robots, salvaging ammo to replenish our own stocks. Danse was in his element, leading a team, forging ahead on a mission. I could only hope that, once Danse really came to terms with who he was and once the Brotherhood completely transitioned into their new policies, that he would feel comfortable enough to return and take his place as Sentinel, because truly that was where he belonged. I hoped he would settle down and find other things that he enjoyed, but looking at it in the face, it was impossible to deny that he was made for a life in an organisation like the Brotherhood. He just thrived there. I was sorry to see it taken away the way that it was, but it was in hope that it would be torn down to be rebuilt better than ever.

 

Finally, _finally_ , we made it to the heart of the Mechanist’s lair, and she was waiting there for us, likely watching as we made our way to her. She had tons of robots on standby still, but I hoped that perhaps we could skip all of that. After all, we didn’t have to just let things play out the way they did in game, we could forge our own path. Hadn’t I already proved that?

 

And so, before the Mechanist even had a chance to start talking, I stepped forward. “Isabel Cruz, I need to talk to you.”

 

Even though she wore the trappings of the Mechanist that completely concealed her features, it was hard to miss the way she stiffened. “How … How do you know that name?”

 

“I’ll explain later, but right now, I need you to listen to me. Your robots are starting to run amuck. Your robobrains are misinterpreting your orders. They’re killing innocent people.”

 

“That’s impossible!” she insisted. “I programmed them to _help_ people. _You’re_ the one destroying all my hard work!”

 

I held up a hand. “I know you just wanted to help, and I just want to help _you_. Danse? Can you play the holotape for me?”

 

Tinker Tom had made a holotape for me and I’d handed it off to Danse, not telling it what was on it, only asking him to play it once I asked him to. I hoped that this proof would help sway Isabel to stand down without any further violence. We weren’t about to find out if it would work.

 

The audio sputtered to life, and Jezebel the robobrain identified herself in the recording, confirming for Isabel that it was indeed one of hers. And then, I’d prompted her, asking her about why she was doing what she was doing. And Jezebel, of course, was more than happy to oblige. “The Mechanist instructed me to seek out and help the people of the Commonwealth, and beyond if resources were adequate. By my calculations, the easiest way to help a human is simply to destroy it. There’s no point in prolonging a laughably fragile life.”

 

Isabel pulled off her helmet, visibly shocked. “What? I didn’t tell them this! What happened to the robobrain?”

 

“Nothing happened to it,” I replied. “It drew its own conclusions.”

 

I motioned back toward Paladin Danse, who was still letting the recording play out of his suit of power armour, and Jezebel was just looping the rope even further, hanging herself and all of the robobrains along with her. “Assisting a human to the best of my abilities only affords a 25 percent survival rate. That means there’s a 75 percent chance that despite my efforts, the human I’m assisting will die from something beyond my control. Therefore, it’s better to hasten the human’s death and put them out of their likely chance of misery than to deplete my limited time.”

 

Isabel paled. “It’s a logic error. Fuck.” She immediately turned and rushed toward a large terminal. “I have to shut it down, I have to shut them all down, _now_.” She was frantic, punching commands into the terminal so hard I was afraid she would break the keyboard. She started barking orders at her other robots, sending detachments out to a couple of robobrains that weren’t responding, to either confirm they were out of commission or to deactivate them. Pulling off her Mechanist gear to reveal just a jumpsuit underneath it, she slowly descended the steps to where we were standing, in a daze. “I just … I just wanted to help. Robots are all I know, robots and comics. For once I … I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to save people.”

 

Jane stepped forward. “I came all the way from the Mojave for you. Your robots raided Goodsprings, they killed Doc Mitchell, a good friend of mine who saved my life a good many years ago.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears, with rage. “I come all this way for my vengeance and this is what I get? A snivelling little wannabe?” Boone settled a hand on her shoulder and she took a deep breath, clenching her jaw and pausing for a moment before she said, “You are a _child_ playing games, not minding her toys. Out in the real world, real people have _died_ because of you. People _fear_ you. Even as far as New Vegas!”

 

Isabel’s shoulders slumped and she didn’t even try to hide the tears as they rolled down her cheeks. “I didn’t want that,” she said softly. “I didn’t want any of … of _this_. I just wanted to make a difference for the better.”

 

Stepping forward, I needed to take control of the situation. Jane’s anger was justified, but she wasn’t helping. “And you can still do that, Isabel. The Minutemen are rebuilt, the Institute has settled down, even the Brotherhood is helping the people now, just like they did under Owyn Lyons. Take your pick, we can help you get into whichever organisation you want. You don’t have to do this all on your own anymore.”

 

She thought for a moment before asking, “Can I take some time to think about it? This is all so sudden …”

 

I nodded. “Of course. Take all the time you need. When you make your decision, go to the Castle, someone there will help you.”

 

The ending to the whole Mechanist saga was a bit more anti-climactic than the whole build up. Especially for Jane. She could be a little rough around the edges, but Jane was ultimately good, and she wouldn’t kill someone just for the sake of killing, only if she felt they really deserved it. Like she thought the Mechanist had. She had needed a target, needed someone to hate, someone to shoot. Without that, with the truth revealed, she now had to deal with her grief the old fashioned way. But, if the way Boone embraced her said anything, it didn’t seem like she would be doing it all alone. And shit, if anyone knew anything about loss, it was him. His even temperament was the best thing for the fiery Courier, providing her with balance, a foundation to lean on. I was almost sorry to see this whole thing end, if only because I assumed they would be heading back to the Mojave. But, lo and behold, once they heard mention of Nuka World, they wanted in. And who was I to deny them a little fun? Once we emerged from the Mechanist’s lair, they headed for Sanctuary, preferring the smaller settlement to the bustling Castle.

 

Likewise, Charley and Strong voiced their intention to head back to Goodneighbor, for a little R&R like she’d intended before RJ had roped her into helping us. “If you ever need an extra hand or two,” she said with a smirk in her voice, “you know where to find us.”

 

And so it ended up just being Nick and Danse and Ada and I, standing outside of the lair, mentally regrouping before we headed into the next adventure. Nick lit a cigarette, taking in a drag and watching the smoke curl from the red hot end before he asked, “So, what’s next on the agenda?”

 

Hefting my pack with the three fusion cores in them, I couldn’t help my grin. “I think it’s time to pay a visit to a certain Vault.”

 

 

\-----

 

 

And, since I've been showing off my characters, here's Jane, recreated in Fallout 4, with a lovely modded armour called "Mojave Manhunter"

 


	33. No good deed goes unpunished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Marred_Tales ;)

_You set my soul alight,_

_Glaciers melting in the dead of night,_

_And the superstars sucked into the super massive_

 

_Super massive black hole ..._

 

_~~ "Supermassive Black Hole", Muse_

 

 

\------------

 

Twilight had deepened into night as we finally reached the outside of Vault 81. We met a caravan on our way, and they’d gladly welcomed the extra protection we offered in exchange for leading us on a direct path to the Vault. Since it was so late, we settled down with them, pulling out our sleep packs as one of the caravan guards started a fire. I wasn’t sure if the guards in the Vault would even receive us this late, and I decided not to chance it and potentially get on someone’s bad side before we even got inside. That would have made the prospect of getting into the locked away portion of the Vault and freeing Curie a helluva lot more difficult, and navigating the ruins that were filled with infected mole rats was going to be difficult enough. Might as well not make it even more tricky.

 

I didn’t sleep that great on the cold, hard ground, and I personally could not wait until we were back in Sanctuary and I could sleep in my own bed. This camping out shit was for the birds. I ended up being one of the first ones up, just because it meant I could stretch out and try to relax the knots that had formed and the stiffness that had set in. I almost jumped to feel hands on my shoulders, but it was only Nick, offering to help rub out the kinks, and my head sagged forward as I let him. Lucky bastard didn’t get stiff - at least, not in _that_ way - but he was at least considerate enough to offer help when _I_ was. The subtle vibration in his hands helped sooth the tense muscles just as much as his movements did. The cool morning air wafted through the little refuge outside the Vault, the breeze cutting through flannel shirt I wore until I pulled on a thick, heavy coat. Since I wasn’t sure exactly when we’d be coming in, what the timing was like, I was hesitant to go into the abandoned section without something a little thicker than my Vaultsuit. A flannel shirt, denim pants, and a thick coat made me feel a little bit better about braving that section instead of the blue suit that clung to me like a second skin. If it weren’t for Danse, we’d look like regular traders, even, but the Brotherhood Sentinel wasn’t willing to part with his power armour, which I could understand. He wore it like a second skin, like he was clinging to this part of his life, like it could steady him through this identity crisis he was having. I wasn’t quite sure if that was exactly healthy or not, but I wasn’t an expert in that. I could only watch him and be there for him if he needed it. Hopefully I would see it if he did.

 

Once it was a bit more of a decent hour, we made our way to the Vault entrance, and predictably we were waylaid by security. Just like in the game, the guard initially didn’t even want to let us in, but fortunately the Overseer stepped in and set the condition, as predicted … “Bring us three fusion cores in trade.”

 

I chuckled. “Well this is your lucky day, because I have three right here.”

 

She seemed surprised. “Is that so?” She didn’t question it further, however, as she ordered the Vault door to open, and I almost jumped at how loud the alarms sounded as the locking mechanism worked to open the large door. My ears were still ringing as we walked down the extended walkway, the Overseer waiting for us at the end expectantly, her expression warm but guarded as we entered her Vault.

 

Smiling, I reached into my pack and retrieved the three fusion cores, holding them out freely. “Here you go. Three cores, as promised.”

 

Her whole body seemed to sigh in relief as she took them from me. “Thank you, I’ll make sure they get where they’re needed. Unfortunately, our power needs sometimes exceed what we’re capable of, so they will definitely be put to good use here. Now, you have full reign of the Vault, but mind yourselves. We’ve thrown people out before, we have no compunction with doing it again.”

 

I was a bit surprised when Danse spoke up, his head tilted toward me as he said, “I’m sure that won’t be a problem for the Major general of the Minutemen.”

 

The Overseer’s eyes widened slightly. “The Minutemen? I’ve heard of them on the radio. Your group is affiliated with them?”

 

I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. If you want, we could see about setting up a reliable trade route for you, make sure any power consumption needs are being met. I’m sure we could come to an arrangement.”

 

She looked quite pleased at what she perceived as being a chance encounter. “That would be lovely. I have a meeting this morning already, but perhaps this afternoon … ?”

 

“That would be fine. Until then, I’d love to see the rest of your lovely Vault.”

 

“Of course. The elevator is this way …”

 

As we made our way to the service elevator, my eyes were darting around and quick to pick up a grey form try to rush past us. I was too quick, bending down to snatch up the damn cat before he escaped, scratching behind his ears in apology for interrupting his escape. “No, no, no, Ashes, no outside time for you,” I murmured.

 

When we boarded the elevator, the Overseer realised I was holding the cat, and she chuckled as she commented, “Seems you’re already helping out here, beyond the fusion cores. Erin will be happy to see her cat didn’t escape.”

 

I couldn’t help but comment, “The Minutemen help everyone, for anything, both big and small.” Hey, why not ingratiate ourselves while we had the chance? I had honestly not even thought about extending a trade route out toward Vault 81, but honestly, why not? It would be beneficial for the Minutemen and the Commonwealth as much as it would be a benefit to the Vault itself. With a little effort, it could become a secondary trading hub, outside of Diamond City - and outside the risks that going into the city proper held, from raider gangs to super mutants to random packs of ferals running amok - and it would also show the members of the Vault that while the outside world could be dangerous, there were just as many people ready and willing to lend a helping hand, should it be needed. That could really only benefit everyone involved.

 

Right as we got off the elevator, sure enough, Erin Combs was there, no doubt wanting to ask if we’d seen her cat. When she saw that I was already holding him in my arms, her face lit up. “Ashes! You got him before he escaped! Oh thank you, thank you!”

 

Smiling in return, I handed the cat off to his rightful owner. “Just keep an eye on him next time. I might not be here to spot him before he dashes out the door.”

 

She nodded vigorously. “I will!” she promised as she ducked off toward the living quarters that she called home.

 

Curiously, Austin was nowhere to be seen, so we had to do without the official guided tour. Not that we necessarily needed it, of course, as I knew the Vault like the back of my hand. But still, I found that I missed his energy as he recounted every aspect of each and every space as he showed it off proudly. But he was nowhere to be seen, and after I offloaded some unneeded items at the store, we ended up lounging in the cafeteria area, sipping some purified water as we relaxed. I had warned my companions that this wasn’t a simply fetch quest, that we would be going into a dangerous portion of the Vault, and so we all took a chance to unwind while we had it. Nick whipped out a screwdriver and started tightening something on his metal hand, Ada applied some oil to a few of her creakier joints, and even Danse exited his power armour and lounged at the table, sitting across from Nick and I.

 

I smirked. “I was beginning to wonder if we’d have to peel you out of that thing sooner or later.”

 

Maybe it was just me, but I swore a light flush of colour deepened in his cheeks and he coughed as he replied, “I am accustomed to wearing my power armour for extended periods of time.”

 

_Well ain’t that a good Brotherhood soldier reply if I’ve ever heard one._ “You know it won’t kill you to relax sometimes, Danse.”

 

“I _am_ relaxing.”

 

“Really? Because your posture is still at attention.”

 

He stiffened as he realised it, then sighed as he consciously allowed his posture to relax. “I am not … used to relaxing. Ever since I started with the Brotherhood, I’ve either been training or on a mission. And lately it’s been a lot more of the latter. This … lull … is just different. It’s taking some time to adjust to it.”

 

“Well believe you me, if there’s anyone that understands routines changing, it’s me. If you ever find yourself having some difficulty with the adjustment, I’ll always have a listening ear for you.”

 

He looked a little taken aback, but nodded. “Thank you, it is appreciated.”

 

I kept an eye out, but there was still no sign of Austin by the time one of the guards fetched us for the meeting with the Overseer. I was starting to get a bit concerned, worried that perhaps we were far too late and he’d already met his end at the hand of the virus he’d contracted wandering into the abandoned section of the Vault. Surely we couldn’t be that late, right? A little tendril of fear started wrapping itself around my chest, making me sick at the prospect that perhaps, in my haste to deal with so many issues before coming to Vault 81, I had doomed a child to suffer and die. I did my best to put it out of the forefront of my mind, however, as the meeting commenced, and I outlined how the Minutemen could help the Vault.

 

Because of their limited resources, there wasn’t a whole lot that Vault 81 had to offer, but there was one very big sticking point that I thought they could help us with. “What about your hydroponics? There are a lot of eager farmers out there in the Commonwealth, but not all of them have the knowledge to efficiently farm the land. If, perhaps, you were willing to share your knowledge, that could really give them the edge they all need in maintaining their crops.”

 

Overseer McNamara nodded. “I’m sure Dr. Penske would be willing to provide that, if they would be willing to come here for it. I don’t think she’d be very keen on leaving the Vault, and besides that she has her own duties here.”

 

I nodded. “Understandable. Once I get back to the Castle and set up this trade route, I can start sending settlers a few at a time here.”

 

We took the time to iron down some details, and I made a mental note to check in with Nate whenever he made an appearance, as I was sure that the scientists there would be interested in some of the techniques Dr. Penske had developed for crops above ground that perhaps they hadn’t encountered below ground, and I knew they would have information that Dr. Penske would likely die just to get her hands on. I didn’t want to just volunteer the Institute for something without checking first, however, as unlike the Minutemen where I held a good amount of authority, the Institute was solely Nate’s purview. For now, I kept the idea to myself.

 

After we wrapped it up and shook on the deal, McNamara took us down to see Dr. Penske, so we could see her hydroponics lab for ourselves. The cafeteria workers had already told us about the lab, so it wasn’t like I pulled the whole thing out of my ass, it just gave me a reason to bring it all up. And to be honest, I was insanely curious to see the whole operation in person, one of the main departments that had enabled this Vault to last at a fully functioning capacity for the last 210 years.

 

We were disappointed, however, to find that she wasn’t in the lab when we got there. Overseer McNamara’s eyebrows furrowed. “Strange, she should be here …”

 

One of the guards must have seen us heading toward the lab, as he popped in with, “You lookin’ for Dr. Penske? She’s down in medical.”

 

“Ah, thank you, Harold. We’ll visit her in a few minutes. Before that, however, I’d like to give you a little tour and overview of the department …”

 

And with that, she showed off the different things the good doctor had going, outlining - at least in basic ways - the different techniques she used for different plants and the successes she’d had. I did my best to pay attention, but what the guard had said kept swirling around in my brain. _Is she in medical because of Austin? Are we not too late, then?_ I kept that small beacon of hope with me as I nodded through the Overseer’s tour, anxious to get moving to meet the doctor herself because surely if Austin was languishing in medical, it may not be too late just yet. In fact, we may have arrived just in the nick of time.

 

Once the tour was over with, Overseer McNamara led us over to medical, where Dr. Penske was said to be. My heart was beating in my chest with every step, hoping against hope that we had a chance to cure Austin. I was almost dizzy with anticipation by the time we finally stepped inside the medical ward, and sure enough the kid was in one of the beds, unconscious, sweaty with fever, breathing rapidly. But _alive_. We had a shot. We just had to take it.

 

Dr. Penske was currently deep in a row with the head doctor, Jacob Forsythe, about Austin’s condition and his treatment. They, of course, had no idea what Austin had contracted and therefore Dr. Forsythe was in the dark about how to treat it, so he was going with general treatments to lower fever and treat other symptoms rather than try to tackle exactly what was ailing him head on until he could figure out exactly what it was. Which, he didn’t have time for that, nor time to craft the cure. We would need to go find Curie and the one vial she had concocted in order to fix this whole mess. But they didn’t know that, of course, and Priscilla Penske was frustrated to no end that Dr. Forsythe’s treatments thus far had done little to nothing to help her adopted grandson. Thus the argument. As we entered, the Overseer stepped in, attempting to deescalate the situation, but one particular sight didn’t escape my notice, and that was Bobby de Luca standing over to the side, nervously shifting his weight and looking guilty as sin as Overseer McNamara calmed everyone down.

 

When everyone was finally silent, Bobby spoke up, hesitant but still wanting to help. “Um, I think I might be able to help. At least, I know where he got sick from.” He explained - in a roundabout way - about the hidden entrance to the other portion of the Vault. He got called out on his chem use, and he winced, but the fact of the matter remained that there was really no one was equipped to enter the old, abandoned section of the Vault.

 

No one except us, that is.

 

Stepping up, I volunteered, “If you need someone to go into that old section, we’re ready and willing.”

 

The Overseer looked visibly relieved. She knew that their security guards were not properly equipped to handle this, and our appearance just in their hour of need must have seemed like providence. “I don’t have much to compensate you with for this, but if the gratitude of this Vault means anything to you …”

 

I brushed it aside. “I told you, the Minutemen are ready and willing to help with anything, big or small.”

 

And that was that. Bobby de Luca lead us to the the hidden panel, and we checked and double checked our ammo as he kicked it so it would open. Once it was, there was the door, cleverly tucked behind a panel so that no one would know about it or question why it was there and thus disrupt the fucked up experiment that this Vault had been meant for. With Danse’s power armour and Ada following along, there was no chance of being subtle and stealthy about this shit, so that meant we just had to go in guns blazing. Because of that, Danse went ahead of us, to draw the attention to himself, and Ada brought up the rear since she didn’t move that fast anyway. Nick and I stuck in the middle ready to take out targets as they popped up. I took a deep breath before I ducked through the doorway, unsure if I was really ready to go romping through a pre-war Vault full of diseased mole rats, but we were here and Austin was ill and needed our help, so there was nothing for it.

 

I followed closely behind Nick, gun out, ready for anything to pop out. We had a little ways to go before we encountered the mole rats, and before that there were a couple of turrets and a protectron on duty that we needed to take out. No big deal with a Brotherhood soldier taking the lead, of course. Hell, compared to the super mutants and everything else he’d gone up against, this was a damn cakewalk.

 

The first part with just the old Vault’s defences went smoothly, as Danse easily took them out without intervention from any of us. The second part, however, with the mole rats … did not go quite as smooth. It was slow going as we kept having to retreat and pick them off as they tried to pop up and rush us, and they were so small and quick compared to other targets that it was sometimes hard to get a lock on them. And for someone who wasn’t that great of a shot, like myself, it was hard to even get off a solid hit. Fortunately, Nick was pretty quick on the draw, and Ada was a solid hitter herself, so between them and Danse they had it pretty well covered anyway. We still didn’t want to just go charging through, however, so we had to be careful as we made our way forward, closer to where Curie was closed off, waiting for Vault-Tec security to give her the go ahead to leave.

 

The most challenging part was right near the end, when the Brood Mother charged at us. We all backed up, but the Brood Mother distracted us enough to where a few of her babies caught us off guard, and before I could even do anything about it, one of them sunk their teeth into my ankle. I clenched my teeth before I yelled out, using the butt of my gun to knock it off me and then shoot it in the head while it was dazed. _Fuck_ , was the only thought that went through my head, but I didn’t have much time to think much more. I had tried and tried and tried in game to make it through this section without getting infected, to no avail, but in game there really wasn’t much of an affect on the player character, only a permanent health decrease that ultimately didn’t mean much. It had puzzled me, compared to how badly Austin had reacted to the disease, but I figured that between the fact that Austin had spent his entire life in a Vault and the fact that he was younger, that had probably had an affect. Either way, while it was annoying, I wasn’t concerned about it, and once the rest of the mole rats were taken care of, we were able to approach the window where Curie was waiting.

 

I couldn’t help the smile that spread to hear her familiar soft accent through the window. “Oh! Another stranger. Are you Vault-Tec security? I’ve waited so very patiently for you to arrive.”

 

_Fuck it._ “Yes, yes we are.”

 

“Superb!” she exclaimed excitedly. “I placed an emergency call so long ago, I was beginning to think something dreadful must have happened.” Floating there, she seemed quite proud as she reported, “I am pleased to report I completed my primary duties 83 years ago. Thousands of pathogens were grown in the mole rat hosts, then a single broad spectrum cure was developed to treat them all. Very satisfying work for many decades. Now, please tell me you are authorised to release me from the lab.”

 

I had to work to suppress a chuckle at her enthusiasm. “Uh, yeah. I am _so_ authorised.”

 

Her floating robot body visibly relaxed. “Superb. I had almost given up all hope of leaving here. I’ll open the door for you.” With that, she floated over to the controls and opened the large doors that led to her room of the lab, and she waited for us to enter. I did my best to not limp, though my ankle was sore as fuck. I almost dreaded to think of the lecture that would surely be in store for me from Nick for not being careful or for the inevitable lack of rest I would afford my injury as we had to make our way back to the Castle. As we entered the room, she addressed us formally as she announced, “Since you are a Vault-Tec representative, I entrust you with the broad spectrum cure I developed. If you have an equivalent to my digital Hippocratic oath, please use it quickly to prevent any undue suffering. However, be advised, there is only one dose left, and I cannot make any more.”

 

_Oh don’t worry, we’ll put it to good use_. “Thank you, we will,” I assured as I took the vial from her, an almost imperceptible tremour running through my extremities. I wrote it off as coming down from the adrenaline rush associated with making our way through the infested Vault and didn’t think twice about it.

 

“Now, if that is all, I am most eager to leave. If you don’t mind, I will follow you out.”

 

Nobody had any objections to that as we all crowded into the elevator at the end of the hall. _Is it just me or is it rather warm in here?_ I wondered absently as I could feel sweat start to bead on my forehead. The jacket I was wearing was rather thick and heavy and I shrugged it off and stuffed it into my pack as we made to exit and loop back around to the medical ward where Austin was staying. Making our way through the corridors, I felt like I was suddenly blasted with cold air, and I shivered, starting to regret taking my coat off. We were almost there, however, so I ignored it as we walked through the door, Drs. Forsythe and Penske keeping a worried watch over Austin and Overseer McNamara pacing as they all waited.

 

Seeing us walk in, they all looked up, and as I held up the vial, it was like a wave of relief washed over all three of them. Dr. Forsythe immediately took the cure and administered it to Austin and Priscilla watched over him, looking intently for any indication that Austin was waking up. The Overseer addressed us in the meantime, saying, “Thank you so much for doing this, I really can’t thank you enough. If I hadn’t already committed Vault 81 to working with the Minutemen, well … this would have sealed the deal.”

 

I smiled as I shook her proffered hand. “You’re very welcome. We’re just glad to have been able to help out.”

 

She opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by Austin waking up. He sat up in bed, rubbing his head as he asked what was going on. His eyes grew wide as it was explained what happened to him and that we had fetched the cure from him. He looked starstruck as he looked us over, and we must have seemed like an odd, ragtag bunch to him. One normal looking human in regular wasteland clothes, an old prototype synth in a trench coat, a man in a suit of power armour, a customised robot companion, and now a modified Miss Nanny unit. Just the fact that we were not fellow Vault dwellers would have been enough to excite him, but considering our diversity, it just made us that much more interesting.

 

All of a sudden, though, as Austin and his adopted grandmother were talking, it felt like the whole world just dropped out for me, like everything bottomed and I was in a void. Even though I knew the lights were on in the medical ward, it was dark, and my chest was so tight I felt like I could barely breathe. Something hard had hit my hip and my shoulder and I had no clue what had happened, though later I would realise that was from the impact of me falling to the floor. Everything had calmed down once Austin had woken up, but with my collapse the ward had once again erupted into chaos. I was unaware of all of that, though, the only fleeting memories I had was the taste of copper from biting my tongue, the way my muscles tightened and stiffened with the seizure, and Nick’s worried voice before my consciousness winked completely out and I descended into what felt like a black hole that swallowed me up from the inside.


	34. Struggling isn't quitting

_And I don't really care if nobody else believes,_

_'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me ..._

 

_~~ "Fight Song", Rachel Platten_

 

 

\-----------

 

My conscious state was something of a misnomer for a while, as while I was sure I was conscious at some points - I vaguely remembered flashes of light, swirls of colour, Nick’s face, even Danse’s worried expression - I felt like I wasn’t truly in control of myself. If I spoke, if I said anything or did anything, I had no idea. I was completely unaware of anything happening outside of the void that my mind inhabited the majority of the time. A little more prominent in my memory was how much my muscles hurt, how they remained sore from both fever and seizure. Had I just had the one? Had I had more? I couldn’t say for sure. Anytime I might have gotten close to conscious it was like my brain flipped a switch and I was languishing in darkness once again. I could only grab snatches of what was going on around me, the hushed voices, the worried tones. But most of all, I always felt a hand enveloping mine, and when I could I would squeeze it. I knew it was Nick, knew he was right there by my side, and while I couldn’t bring myself out of this enough to try to reassure him - even though _I_ was the sick one - I did what I could to offer him some comfort that I was still here, and I was still fighting, no matter what it looked like.

 

If I was being perfectly honest, the next thing I really, coherently could remember, was opening my eyes and seeing metal above my head. But not the clean, light metal of the Vault that we’d been in. No, this was different, and I struggled to put two and two together in my head, but I kept coming up with zebra. I needn’t have worried for too long, however, as Nick’s worried face soon appeared, and nothing else seemed to matter as I drank in his familiar gaze. My mouth twitched as I tried to smile, but I wasn’t even sure if I was successful as I murmured his name.

 

“Hey, doll,” he replied softly, quietly, his voice still guarded and unsure. Like me being awake and finally coherent enough to say his name wasn’t the great relief that I might have thought it would be. Was it really that serious?

 

“Wh-Where am I?”

 

“On the Prydwen. You weren’t getting any better and Dr. Forsythe’s resources were … limited. Good thing Danse still kept those vertibird signal grenades, we got a hitch a ride from right outside the Vault.”

 

Had I the energy, I would have snorted. But as it was, I felt like I was completely drained, and even staying awake was a feat in and of itself. “So, I’m gonna be fine?”

 

There was that hesitation, that worry that flashed in his yellow eyes. “We don’t know yet. Cade says it’s too early to tell. He’s working with the information Curie gave him, but … well, it’s still a bunch of guesswork because he doesn’t have everything she did. So far … he’s hoping to give you enough of a crutch to limp on through the infection so your own body can fight it.” His hand gently caressed my cheek as he added, “And, sweetheart, you gotta fight.”

 

“I know,” I murmured weakly. “I am. I’m trying. I …”

 

Nick leaned over and gently planted a kiss on my forehead as I trailed off. “Rest. Save your strength.” He squeezed my hand as I was already drifting off, and while I could hear him whispering something else, I couldn’t hear or understand what it was as I was already being swallowed whole once again.

 

The next portions of my memories were scattered, seemingly random. Voices, both familiar and not, in tones varying from stern to worried. Most of the time I didn’t even get a chance to attach a name to the voice before I was pulled under, though once in a while I did have breakthroughs. _Nick_. _Danse_. _Curie._ Even _Arthur_. But those glimpses into consciousness remained brief and for the most part I remained in a hazy fog, seemingly neither conscious nor unconscious, just floating there. Had I been more of a sound mind, I would have marvelled at the fresh hell that Curie and her compatriots had devised for whatever poor soul to be exposed to this virus. But as it was, it seemed like everything in my mind was disconnected, and I eventually gave up even trying to slog through the thick muck that encompassed my brain. It was just too much work, too tiring for no results, no improvement. I had promised Nick I would keep fighting, and while I fervently hoped my body was doing its part, mentally I could no longer keep up. I simply allowed whatever semi-conscious moments to come and go as they would without trying to latch on and hold onto them.

 

It was during one of those conscious lulls that another, rather familiar voice came into play, though I initially couldn’t place it. As my eyes fluttered open for once, barely focusing, I saw a familiar white lab coat and mop of brown hair, and my brain finally put two and two together. _Nate_. I didn’t even get much of a chance to process his presence when I started feeling that familiar tug, and while this time I tried to fight it off, it did me little good. I was only conscious enough to feel someone pick me up and then the shooting tingling sensation of what I later realised was the relay, and I was yanked under once again.

 

How long I languished under the illness, I had no idea. Time held no concept for me. In truth, it felt like _years_ , like an uncountable age had passed since we had retrieved the cure from the abandoned Vault for Austin and freed Curie from her prison. I was no stranger to how cruel Vault-Tec could be, but for fuck’s sake, when I started wishing for death rather than to stay suspended in sickly animation, I could say I truly experienced their sadism for myself. And it was something I not only did not want to ever experience again, it was something I couldn’t bring myself to wish on anyone else.

 

And then, just like that, it was all over. Like being doused with a bucket of cold water, I gasped as my eyes flew open, and then automatically shut again, my body trying to protect its sensitive sight against the glaring overhead lights. After a few minutes, I started to adjust, and when my eyes opened and focused, I saw Nate’s relieved face. He smiled, and then shook his head. “Why is it whenever I leave, you end up getting yourself into trouble?”

 

The whole shock of the situation delayed my reaction, but once his words caught up and connected in my brain, I let out a laugh. “What can I say? I’m a troublemaker.” Looking around, I vaguely recognised my surroundings, not because I knew the specific room I was in, more because there was no other place in the Commonwealth as _clean_. “Am I in the Institute?”

 

“That you are,” Nate confirmed as he sat next to me on the bed. “I came up top for a little visit at the Castle, apparently just in time to get a message from the Prydwen about you.”

 

_The Prydwen_ … That was right. When I’d woken up that one time and talked to Nick, he’d said I was on the Prydwen. The details on how I was transferred there and then to the Institute I was still a little vague on, but I figured Nate would clue me in.

 

Nate rubbed his forehead as he added, “Seems Cade was trying his damnedest, but you weren’t making any progress. They were … trying to get word to whoever you might have as next of kin.”

 

The full gravity of the situation finally settled in. If Cade thought I was on death’s door, then I probably had been. It was a sobering thought, to realise I’d been so close. And if I had died … then all my plans for the wasteland were nothing more than dust in the wind. Sure, a lot had already come to fruition, and enough was already in motion that the others could bullshit their way through. But without my knowledge, Vault 88 could end up falling into the wrong hands, and if Nick went to Acadia alone, I knew he could inadvertently doom the whole synth settlement just because of his sense of justice and rightness. I felt like I could barely breathe for a moment as I processed it all, how much one careless act of getting bitten by an infected mole rat could have completely upended everything I’d been working towards.

 

Nate had continued, unaware of my internal musings. “Thankfully, I was at the Castle at the time. It took some convincing - especially of Nick - but I brought you and a holotape full of Curie’s research down here and they were able to manufacture her cure. And now that we have the recipe and the means, we can distribute it throughout the Commonwealth … and hell, who knows, maybe even further,” he added with a shrug.

 

Something he said struck me, standing out amoungst all of the information he was giving me. “What about Nick? Where is he? You didn’t … bring him here, did you?”

 

Nate shook his head. “I’m making fantastic headway in the leadership here, but I didn’t want to take a risk on something happening to him. I knew you’d never forgive me if I did.” He flashed me a reassuring smile. “I sent him to Sanctuary, told him I’d relay you there once you recovered.”

 

I nodded as I sat up, forced to go slow after a bout of dizziness. “Just how long have I been out?”

 

“From what I was told? You spend almost three days in Vault 81’s medical ward, then another four on board the Prydwyn. And here? You just relayed in about twelve hours ago. It took some time to manufacture Curie’s serum, but you got the first dose off the assembly line. And, I know it wasn’t your intention, but once we start distributing this cure, I’m sure the wasteland will be thankful.”

 

I had to chuckle, considering the circumstances. “Well, it seems like everything’s worked out, then, hasn’t it?”

 

“I suppose so, though your friends nerves are a little worse for the wear.”

 

Wincing, I offered, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get bit.”

 

Nate shrugged and stood, offering his hand to help me sit up completely, “All’s well that ends well, after all. I … assume you’re going to want a shower after all of that?”

 

As if his words brought the revelation, I suddenly realised the level of grime that coated my body. From the dust and dirt that came with frolicking through the wasteland and an abandoned Vault, to the sweat accumulated from sickness, I almost felt nauseas with how badly I needed to bathe. “Oh fuck yeah.”

 

He chuckled. “Well, Dr. Volkert will want to check you out, then he’ll see to a bath for you. And after you get checked out and freshened up, how about I treat you to dinner?”

 

I wasn’t so excited about the whole exam thing, but the idea of bathing with actual hot water and a mouth-watering meal was far too tempting to refuse. “That sounds fucking wonderful.”

 

Laughing, Nate left the small room, waving over the doctor. I recognised him well from the last time I’d been in the Institute, when … when Shaun had died. It now seemed so long ago, I almost wondered if he’d even remember me. But of course he did, and he offered me a small smile as he entered. “Hello, Lia. How are you feeling?”

 

I took a moment to honestly assess myself before answering. “A little dizzy. Weak. But otherwise fine.”

 

He nodded. “That is to be expected. IV fluids can only do so much, and while they staved off dehydration, there’s not much to be done for not eating … besides eat, of course.” Shifting naturally, he tested how well I could follow his finger as well as my pupil reflexes and a few other baffling tests that I couldn’t begin to wonder at. “Good, good, doesn’t look like any brain damage,” he murmured. “According to the medical report I received from the Prydwen, it seems that alongside a high fever, you suffered multiple seizures over the course of your illness, both in the Vault and on the airship, and it seems they were increasing in number and intensity right before you were brought here.” Setting aside his exam instruments, he commented, “Knight-Captain Cade seems to be quite competent in his treatments, it just seems he did not have the necessary resources to treat this particular illness.” He chuckled quietly as he added, “It’s a good thing, then, that you are so close to the Director. Had you not been, you likely would have died on the Brotherhood airship.”

 

_Yeah, thanks for the reminder_ , I thought cynically. I couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran through me as he finished up his exam, the reminder of my own mortality uncomfortable. I suppose I’d thought myself invincible after I survived the minigun, but it had only taken one small bite and I’d been right back at death’s door.

 

Shucking off his gloves, the doctor told me, “Well, you seem to have recovered nicely, thanks to that new serum. I’d like you to stay another 24 hours so I can observe you, but otherwise I see no reason to confine you to medical. I’ll summon a gen 2 to assist you with a bath and then I believe the Director will be wanting to see you.”

 

I nodded, but tried to protest at the same time. “I can bathe myself, that’s perfectly fine …”

 

He brushed off my protests as easily and firmly as if I was a child. “Nonsense. I’m sure you are capable of the motions, but considering your admitted dizziness, I want to ensure no slip and fall accidents.” His disarming smile had me there, and so I could do nothing more than agree and wait for the gen 2 to show up.

 

The bath situation at the Institute was far different than the basic showers that I’d grown accustomed to. Instead of a stall, or even a traditional tub, there was a tall, narrow, walk-in unit that one could sit down in, close the door, and then draw a proper, soaking bath. It seemed akin to one of those tubs for elderly and disabled people that had difficulty with mobility, so they could easily get in and out with minimal risks for a fall. Which, honestly, made sense to have something like that in place in a medical ward. The gen 2 that fetched me had me lean on him as he guided me to the tub and helped me strip - I had been put in a basic hospital-type gown at some point, though I honestly couldn’t say when - and then assisted me with getting in the tub before he started drawing the water. It felt strange to be naked in front of a synth, even just a gen 2, but I supposed they were probably used to it. Once I had confirmed the water temperature was good and the tub was filled, he informed me, “I will return with some suitable garments for you to wear and a towel to dry off with. In the meantime, anything you might need to wash with is in the cabinet on the wall. Next to it is a button, should you need some assistance before I return.”

 

“Thank you,” I said with a smile, genuinely grateful for his help, though I knew gen 2’s were more akin to robots than they were to flesh and blood people. Still, being polite cost nothing. Hadn’t I said something similar the last time I’d been in the Institute?

 

He seemed a bit taken aback with the sentiment, but nodded. “You are welcome. I will return shortly.”

 

Once he’d left the room, I leaned back against the tub for a moment, just soaking in the nice heat from the water. It wasn’t overly hot, but it covered me in warmth that made me just want to soak for hours, even though I didn’t really have that kind of time. I was determined to make the most of it, however, as I lazily reached over to the cabinet and grabbed some soap and shampoo before I doused my hair with water from a flexible pitcher. It was an interesting contraption, sturdy, but the edges around the top would mold to the shape of the person’s head, meaning no water in the eyes. _Fantastic._ Did the Institute really think of everything? It seemed the answer to that was yes.

 

I had finished up with my hair but was still working on scrubbing down my body by the time the gen 2 returned. He simply stood near the door, waiting for me to finish, and so I hurried up, not wanting to keep him waiting. He was immediately by my side as I finished, engaging the draining mechanism and assisting me with standing, though I tried to assure him I was fine. I was still a little lightheaded, but just getting up and moving around a little had me feeling like I wasn’t about to keel over. He would not hear a word of my protest, however, as he handed me my towel and steadied me as I dried off before helping me out of the tub.

 

Before I got out of the tub, I hadn’t even bothered to see what clothes he might have brought me. I actually half expected him to hand me my Vaultsuit, as it seemed that was about the only thing that didn’t get filled with holes or ruined in some way. But instead, he handed me a soft white bundle that I instinctively knew was another Institute jumpsuit, similar to the one I’d been given the last time I was here. And again, despite my assurances, he helped me into the form-fitting ensemble before I zipped it up and he handed me a pair of socks and some matching white boots. I had to chuckle softly, remembering that the last time I was here, I had simply worn my own boots. This time, however, I got a pair of my own, and they melded perfectly to my feet along with the thin socks. _Damn, too bad these are white, they’re so fucking comfortable_. I purposed to see if there was a way to change the colour so that I could wear them instead above ground, because while my own boots were fine, I had to wear thick socks just to ensure they fit. These, however, seemed almost made for me.

 

I got a chance to run a brush through my hair before the gen 2 escorted me from the medical ward, having me lean on him as he lead me up to the Director’s quarters. And, truth be told, as much as I wanted to protest, I was already feeling tired and weak just after such a simple activity as bathing. _Fuck, am I ever going to recover?_ I was only just getting my stamina back after the whole minigun escapade, but now I was going to be sidelined a little longer. _Great, just great._ I wanted to pout and be upset about it, but any time I felt that way, I just pictured Austin, the way he laid in the bed, how tiny and fragile he looked. It had been a steep price to pay, but given the choice, I would pay it again all the same.

 

Nate was sitting at a terminal when we entered, though he looked up and smiled, getting up from the terminal. “I can take her from here,” he assured the gen 2, dismissing him as he looped an arm around my shoulder.

 

“You know, I can walk on my own,” I complained as he lead me over to a sofa.

 

“For someone who was, for all intents and purposes, dying just earlier today … you don’t get to determine that.”

 

I rolled my eyes. “I feel pretty fine.”

 

“All thanks to the magic of science,” Nate expertly deferred, ushering me to sit. “The food should be up, soon. Oh, and someone is going to be happy to see you … as soon as he’s done with his homework.”

 

I had to chuckle before I asked a little bit more serious question. “So, how is he doing? With … Shaun’s death …”

 

Nate sighed a little. “It was hard on him. I mean, the way he saw it, Shaun was his grandfather, someone who was in his life even longer than I was. Having him gone and me as the sole provider in his life … it’s a big change. And change is difficult.” He did smile fondly, however, as he added, “He is doing better lately, though.”

 

And as if our conversation somehow summoned him, the little synth Shaun walked through the door, took one look at me sitting on the couch, and his eyes widened as he threw himself at me, encasing me in a hug. “You’re alright!” he exclaimed.

 

I was a little surprised at his reaction, but I returned the hug. “Of course I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“I heard … I heard Dad came back with you and that you were really sick.” Pulling back from the hug, he looked at me intently as if he was inspecting me.

 

“Well I’m fine now, thanks to your Dad.”

 

“And Curie,” Nate added.

 

I chuckled. “Yes, and Curie.”

 

“Curie? Is that who provided that new serum people are talking about?”

 

“Yes,” Nate answered. “And once we start manufacturing it, we can start distributing it to everyone.

 

“Wow. That’s cool. I wish I could meet them.”

 

Nate ruffled Shaun’s hair as he commented, “Maybe when things settle down more in here and I can take a real break, we’ll take a little trip up top.”

 

Shaun’s eyes lit up at the suggestion. “Really? You mean it?”

 

“Of course,” Nate promised. “I don’t want you to stay locked up in here all the time. Obviously I want you to keep up with your studies, but you can’t learn _everything_ from a book.”

 

Shaun snorted. “Don’t let Alice hear you say that.”

 

“Alice?” I asked, clearly out of the loop. I couldn’t remember a character in game with that name, though admittedly not all of the NPC’s in the Institute were named. A lot were just generic _Institute Scientist_ with no further designation.

 

“Alice is a synth who’s taking advantage of our integration program. Since she obviously has a lot of catching up to do, Shaun’s helping by tutoring her.”

 

I was about to ask more about how that was going, but we were interrupting by our meal being delivered. Both Shaun and Nate had a pretty standard fare, but mine was a bit more bland, to account for not eating for a while. There was some meat, for protein’s sake, a nice serving of rice, and a big bowl of broth. I ate slowly, not wanting to push my body too far - though I still physically felt fine - and during dinner we got to discuss the program a little more in depth. It was fascinating and admittedly wonderful to see the results of my suggestion come to fruition. Granted, Nate had gone in a little bit different direction than originally anticipated when it came to the synths, but really he’d married the game’s original intention with my direction beautifully and come up with a third option that truly fit everyone’s needs even more perfectly than I had been able to think of. It assured me that I had truly placed my faith correctly in him, when he’d emerged from that Vault, bewildered and disoriented, and I’d reached out to him, offering guidance. That moment felt like a lifetime ago. Both of us were completely different people than who sat at that dinner table in the Institute. At the time, we were both scared and confused, but more than that, we had been determined. And just look at where that determination had gotten us.

 

During the course of the dinner, Nate also assured me that the trade route that I’d set up for Vault 81 was already in place, thanks to Preston accompanying him to the Prydwen. “He was able to get all the information from Nick and Danse and put it all in motion. As we speak, there should be a few settlers at the Vault already. _And_ …” he added with a wink, “I have Clayton Holdren prepping for a little trip as well. I assumed you probably intended on incorporating the Institute in on this deal as well …”

 

I chuckled as shovelled some rice on my fork. “I had been wanting to talk to you about it, yes. Guess we were on the same page, then. Which, speaking of Vaults …” There hadn’t been a peep out of Vault 88 yet, but I knew it was coming, and Nate was truly the best person to deal with that situation. Between him being able to set the Overseer Barstow at ease with the fact that he was indeed a Vault dweller himself, to having the resources to turn the unfinished Vault into something that settlers could find refuge in, there was really only one person fit for the job. So, I took the opportunity to give him the run down on everything he would need to know about Vault 88, including its purpose and Barstow’s intentions, so he could make well-informed decisions once he got there. I trusted him to do the right thing, of course, to make choices that would serve the best interests of potential dwellers and not whatever sadistic bullshit Vault-Tec intended.

 

Nate chewed on his meat as he asked, “You not planning on coming with me, whenever this goes down?”

 

“Depends. I’m not sure when it will happen, and between Nuka World and the upcoming events in Far Harbor … I mean, I’d like to, but if I end up over in the theme park or up on the Island by the time it does, I just want you to be prepared.”

 

He grinned. “Finally learning how to really delegate, are we?”

 

I cocked an eyebrow at him. “I’m not sure I get your meaning. I’ve always briefed you before missions.”

 

He chuckled as he took a sip of water before he replied, “It’s not that. Before, you would have made sure you were there, having an active hand in everything that was happening. But now … you don’t seem so concerned about it. Like you just know it will work out.”

 

I shrugged. “Because it will. I trust you.”

 

Nate shook his head but spoke of it no more as we finished our meal. Since Dr. Volkert wanted me to stay in the Institute for 24 hours so he could ensure I was really fine and that there were no lingering side effects, Nate offered his old quarters so I could have some privacy, which was greatly appreciated. Surprisingly, even though I’d been unconscious for most of the past week, I immediately fell asleep once I flopped down on the bed. It seemed that fever naps did not equate healthy sleep, and my body was deprived of what it _really_ needed.

 

With such an arbitrary deadline to stare down, I was incredibly antsy waiting for it to end. I just wanted to leave, wanted to reunite with Nick and the others, see how everything was going. As nice as the Institute was, it felt like a prison when I was being forced to stay, and not even the longest, hottest shower in the history of showers could make up for what I was missing topside. But, the honest rest combined with solid food combined to get me back into shape even quicker than Dean Volkert had reckoned, and once he’d given me a thorough exam, he couldn’t find a reason to detain me any longer.

 

Absolute relief flooded me as Nate - along with Shaun, as he insisted - took me up to the relay, and as we were in the lift, he pressed something into my hand. Confused, I asked, “What’s this?”

 

“We’re trying to figure out a good system of communication, so that I can be contacted even though I’m in here. A terminal at the Castle is already being set up, but I wanted something even more convenient, at least temporarily, so until the scientists can figure out something better, we have this.”

 

“And what is … this?” I asked of the small, box-like device he’d handed me. It was small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, had no visible speakers that I could see, and only one button on it. It had a clear case that it fit into, I supposed to prevent accidentally pressing said button, but I was still without a clue as to what it was and how it functioned.

 

“It’s a … paging device, for lack of a better term.”

 

I took a moment to process before I confirmed, “You gave me a pager?”

 

He chuckled. “For lack of a better term, yes. Just press the button, and mine will go off. It also has a tracker built into it, so I can relay to your position. Just … try to reserve it for emergencies. The terminal that’s set up in the Castle will enable actual, physical messages to be traded between everyone, but if you have a desperate need, well … now you have a way to get a hold of me.”

 

I chuckled as the realisation hit me. “Two hundred years after nuclear annihilation and we’re just now getting to pagers.”

 

He clapped me on the back as he laughed, leading me up to the relay room. We hugged goodbye - Shaun even more enthusiastic than his father - and I waved goodbye as I waited for the relay to do its thing and take me on home. _Home_. Where a certain synth detective was waiting, where in the midst of post-apocalyptic chaos, a group of people had found some semblance of peace. And I, unexpectedly, had found mine.


	35. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'd been putzing around with writing this chapter, when coteobscur made the most beautiful edit for this story and I couldn't wait to share it! So I powered through finishing it and here it is. The art they made I decided to share at the beginning, so everyone can fully appreciate it. Thank you so much! This means so much to me. :) I never thought anyone would make anything for me and I'm really, honestly touched. <3

 

\-----------

 

_And the blood will dry, underneath my nails,_

_And the wind will rise up, to fill my sails,_

 

_See you can doubt, and you can hate,_

_But I know, no matter what it takes,_

 

_I'm coming home,_

_I'm coming home,_

_Tell the world, I'm coming home ..._

 

_~~ "Coming Home, Pt. II", Skylar Grey_

 

 

\-----------

 

After the tingling sensation wore off, I blinked as I found myself standing in the middle of Sanctuary. The few settlers who witnessed my appearance were gaping in amazement, and I was immediately scanning the area for someone specific.

 

Said someone burst out the door, presumably as soon as he heard the telltale sound that indicated a relay transmission, and I smiled as soon as I met his yellow eyes. He ran toward me, and I wasted no time doing the same, throwing myself in his arms as soon as I was close enough to do so. He immediately encircled me and pressed his lips to mine, holding me close, like he was afraid he’d lose me if he didn’t. When he finally released me, he stepped back just a bit, looking me over, like it had been ages since he’d last seen me. I chuckled, “You’re gonna drill a hole in me staring like that.”

 

He shook his head slightly, the corner of his lips quirking upwards in a smile. “Sorry, doll. Last time I saw you, well … I wasn’t sure if I would ever see you again.”

 

I pulled Nick close to me and buried my face in his chest, that feeling of _home_ settling in. “I promised you I wouldn’t give up.”

 

His lips ghosted against my forehead in a whisper as he murmured, “Not that I didn’t believe you, sweetheart, but sometimes things happen that are out of our control. And best believe I was hoping I hadn’t encountered one of those.”

 

I hummed as I nuzzled his chest, hungry for his comforting presence, the rock solid foundation that he provided for me. If it wasn’t for Nick, I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d been able to do half the things I had. The prospect of bringing together all four factions in the Commonwealth and have them work together had been a daunting prospect, but with Nick at my side, I knew I had someone who always believed in me. And if Nick Valentine believed in someone, then by the gods they were going to succeed. Maybe it was just subconscious, but it was what I needed, and it was what he gave me. I was so wrapped up in our reunion, my whole focus had narrowed to encompass only us. If there were settlers or Minutemen or anyone else milling about, I didn’t even notice, didn’t care to be quite honest. I was whole, I was home, and that was all I truly cared about.

 

So it came as a surprise, of course, when all of a sudden a tiny little ball of energy bounded into us, nearly toppling me over.

 

Nick was the only thing that saved me from landing on my ass, and before I could even wonder just what had happened, I saw Curie bobbing along. “Ah, Monsieur Duncan! You must watch where you are going,” she reprimanded gently, reaching down with her mechanical arms to straighten up the child.

 

_Duncan? Is that …_

 

Before I could even fully formulate the thought, RJ came jogging around the corner, his eyes scanning and then finding his son. “So this is where you ran off to,” he commented, reaching down to dust off the oversized jacket that Duncan wore. “Sorry, Lia,” he threw at me with an amused grin, but I shook me head.

 

“It’s alright. So this is your son?”

 

He nodded, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “Yeah, this is Duncan. Duncan, this is Lia. She’s the one who helped me get that cure for you.”

 

The kid eyed me carefully, warily, and though he was still small, there was an air about him that was uniquely RJ. I had to wonder if his father had been like him when he was young. That MacCready attitude just poured off of them both. There wasn’t even much of a physical difference between them, save that Duncan’s hair was a sandy blond. I wondered if his mother had been blond … there wasn’t any kind of physical description of either her or Duncan in game, and if I was being honest, I missed having the opportunity to see RJ’s son. After all, I’d gotten to know the merc as a child in Fallout 3, I had wanted to see his own son in 4, but of course Todd fucking Howard decided not to grace us with the ability to do so. Just like he decided to not allow Nick Valentine to be romanced. _Well fuck you, then, Todd Howard. Here I am in the actual world and not only do I get to be with Nick and see and meet people I couldn’t before, but I’m making this whole world better. Maybe hire me next time?_ But, of course, I fervently hoped there wouldn’t be a next time. I never wanted to leave this place, these people, this home that I had cultivated. This was my everything now.

 

Smiling, I addressed Duncan. “Well hey, there. I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”

 

He still eyed me carefully, backing up and subtly grabbing for the edge of his father’s coat. RJ chuckled and mussed his hair. “Kid’s a little shy around strangers.”

 

“That’s a good way to be, especially here,” I reassured my friend that there was no worries.

 

RJ nodded and changed the subject. “From the way I hear it, I suppose I should say the same to you. Heard you got pretty sick.”

 

I sighed. “Yeah. All better now, though.”

 

Curie piped up then, “I am glad to see that! I take it the Institute was successful in manufacturing my serum, yes?”

 

“They were, and they’ll also be able to mass produce it, so hopefully they’ll be shipping it all over the Commonwealth here soon.”

 

“Oh, that is wonderful! I am so happy my research will now be useful.”

 

It seemed fitting, really, that all of her decades of hard work not be in vain, her cure used precisely once and then never mentioned or manufactured again. If I had been Curie, I would have been crushed, though in game I supposed that she had much more to look forward to and do once she was freed. But still, the fact that remained that now not only was her labour not in vain, but it would prove useful to the inhabitants of the Commonwealth. Now, instead of diseases simply being suffered through, they could be cured, and if the way it worked was any indication, it seemed there was no real wait time between it being administered and it fully working. It seemed quick and sudden enough on my end, at least.

 

The next person to approach our group, I almost didn’t recognise immediately, and that was probably due to the fact that he was out of his power armour and wearing normal wastelander clothes instead of a Brotherhood uniform. Danse looked plenty relieved to see me up and walking and _alive_ , an almost complete contrast, I was sure, to how I was the last time he saw me. He nodded at me as he approached. “Lia, glad to see you’re doing well.”

 

I smiled in return. “Thanks, Danse. And, thank you for relaying the trade route information with Nick.”

 

“Of course,” he accepted. “It seemed prudent to do. Especially since … well, we weren’t sure you were going to pull through.”

 

“Oh ye of little faith,” I said as I brushed off the concern. The thought of how close I’d been to actually dying still unnerved me, and I preferred to think about it as little as possible.

 

It seemed like Danse was about to say something else when the crack of shrill laughter rang through the settlement. Hearing it, RJ rolled his eyes and commented, “Sounds like Charley’s starting the night early.” At this pronouncement, Danse audibly groaned.

 

“Charley? She’s here?”

 

“Yeah. When I was making to leave Goodneighbor with Duncan, she decided to tag along. Something about going where the excitement would be. Not sure why she thought there was excitement to be had out here, but, Charley just kinda does what she wants.”

 

I had to chuckle, remembering well MacCready’s merc friend. “The more the merrier.”

 

“Please don’t say that,” Danse grumbled as he walked away.

 

I couldn’t help what was I sure was a very puzzled expression as I asked, “What’s up with Danse?”

 

RJ chuckled. “Seems he and Charley, uh … don’t quite see eye to eye.”

 

I snorted. “Well that much was apparent when we were on a mission together, but it didn’t seem _that_ bad.”

 

“Eh, there’s a difference between tolerating someone enough while on a mission and having to tolerate them outside of that.”

 

“True,” I had to concede. “Will there be trouble?” The last thing I needed was a showdown between a former Gunner and a Brotherhood Sentinel. And if Strong chose to get in on the mix - because where Charley was, surely the super mutant had followed - then the situation would very quickly spiral out of control.

 

“Nah,” RJ assured. “Charley can handle herself.”

 

I chuckled. “It’s not Charley I’m worried about.”

 

That surprised the merc. “You not have faith in your Brotherhood friend?”

 

“Not that I have no faith in him … just that I figure Charley’s a lot sneakier about shit. And if she brought Strong with her …”

 

Rj laughed at my assessment. “You got the measure of her down pretty good. But nah, she might prank or push but she isn’t the kind to be violent for a reason. A _real_ reason. She’s pretty easy going.”

 

“Heh, maybe that’s why they don’t mix that well,” I commented.

 

“Oh, don’t be too sure about that,” Nick commented, his eyes trailing where Danse had gotten off to.

 

“You know something?” I asked, nudging him in the ribs.

 

He shook his head. “Just a hunch, really.”

 

It seemed life in Sanctuary had simply marched on as it always did. While I’d been out there taking care of the Mechanist and then fetching a rare cure for a sick kid, for everyone else it was just business as usual. The whole place was looking so different than when the first settlers got there after Concord. While Codsworth had done a damn sight better to keep the place up in the intervening 210 years since the bombs dropped, it still needed some improvement. Some buildings had been irreparably damaged, and Sturges - along with the others - had torn those down and built up new buildings. The houses that just needed repair had been fixed up, and some brand new buildings were put up as needed, like the boarding house for visitors who didn’t otherwise have a place to stay and for any roaming Minutemen who needed a bed. Mama Murphy had seemingly completely kicked her chem habit, surrendering to a quiet life filled with knitting and even some trading now and then at her little market stall that was set up. I was glad to see her happy and healthy, and she’d even put on a little weight since they’d first arrived, signalling a certain contentment and comfortability. I wasn’t sure who had been talking to her to get her to kick her habit, but whoever it was and whatever they’d said to get through to her, I was grateful to them. She was a sweet lady, someone who really just wanted to help however she could. Nowadays, help was more prudent in the scarves and sweaters and hats that she knitted rather than the visions she had.

 

And indeed, Sanctuary’s population had grown since the initial five had settled here. There was the Vault-Tec salesman, Walter Tesch, who was an absolute joy to be around. There was Rosemary and Lorelei, a pair of ghoul sisters who could both wield a kitchen pot and a pipe gun in equal skill. There was Judith and her daughter, Mackenzie, who’d lost the rest of their family to a raider gang, the two the only ones who’d been able to flee in the dead of night. And now it seemed RJ wanted to settle down here, in some way at least, now that he had his son with him. Of course, how long the Courier and Boone would stay, who really knew. With any luck, they could help with the Nuka World situation, but afterward, knowing them … they’d probably head back to the Mojave. It was their home, after all. And what Ruby and Charon would do after all of this was said and done, I honestly couldn’t say. According to Dez, they’d been wandering around for a while, staying here and there, but there was no mention of a home for them. I wondered, then, if they really even had somewhere to return to. In my own game, Ruby had bought the house in Megaton along with disarming the bomb there, but who knows what might have happened in the intervening 10 years between 3 and 4.

 

Rosemary waved me over and offered me some soup from the communal pot and some bread, and I took it gladly, taking a seat in the community house, Nick right by my side. Almost everyone showed up for meals, except for those on guard duty, and they would get their own meals later if they hadn’t taken an early meal. Charley was, as predicted, tipsy, and Strong followed her like a large, silent puppy, only breaking his silence to grumble about how small the utensils were before he abandoned them and simply drank the soup out of his bowl. Danse gave them a wide berth, but I paid attention to how his eyes darted over to Charley, and I wondered if Nick could be right. The synth’s hunches were about as good as any man’s facts, but I supposed time would tell. Similarly, Duncan looked like he was staring a hole through Mackenzie, who couldn’t have been more than a few years old than him, if that. I smirked as I slipped some soup-dipped bread in my mouth. If the kid was anything like RJ, we were about to have a little hell raiser on our hands. But with how Curie hovered near them, I figured they were in good hands. I hadn’t had the chance to really observe a whole lot yet, but she seemed fascinated by Duncan, and if giving RJ a helping hand now and then satisfied her curiousity, then so much the better. There was one presence I was looking for that I hadn’t seen, and so I turned and asked Nick, “Hey, where’s Ada?”

 

“Back at the Castle,” Nick replied. “After you left the Prydwyn and we made to depart, she requested to return there. Guess Sturges and Tinker Tom made an impression on her and she wanted to see them again.”

 

I laughed. “I wonder if we’ll be seeing a tricked out Ada sometime in the future.”

 

“I wouldn’t put it past them,” he commented, flashing me a smirk.

 

Sighing contentedly, I leaned my head against Nick’s shoulder, allowing myself the space to relax and drink in some of the fruits of my labour. Sanctuary was thriving and growing all the time, and if I had to wager a guess, I would have said that the safe house down at the Red Rocket was doing the same. To see settlements thriving and expanding all on their own like this, it was amazing. In game, the sole survivor had to do all the work, setting up recruitment beacons and then assigning settlers once they arrived. Of course, people in real life weren’t mindless peons; if a new person showed up at a settlement, they knew they needed to find some way to pull their own weight, and they did so without having to be told. They repaired and built and planted and expanded all on their own volition. To be able to actually see that was … encouraging, in a way. I’d helped cultivate a place where people could feel safe, where they weren’t afraid to put down some roots and help each other in this apocalyptic wasteland. And at the same time, their efforts weren’t wasted, as others responded in kind. Truly this outcome was far better than the one Bethesda had executed.

 

After dinner had settled and started to digest, Nick and I took a walk around Sanctuary, our hands intertwined as we enjoyed the crisp night air together. It was the first time in a nice little stretch that we had to actually simply enjoy one another’s company without a mission looming overhead. There would be soon enough, of course, whenever Deacon deemed it an appropriate time to begin our move on Nuka World. But so far, no one had heard a peep from the undercover spy, and so we simply had to wait. And after Nuka was dealt with, there was still the matter of Vault 88 and Far Harbor to contend with. So in reality, our fight was long from over. But for now, we enjoyed the lull, something we had far too infrequently. After all, we didn’t know when we’d next get to enjoy it.

 

We circled around the settlement and eventually looped back to the house I kept, our hands still intertwined as we shared a quiet conversation. Not about anything in particular, certainly nothing about upcoming events. Just casual talk, the kind neither of us got enough of these days. As we entered my home, Nick made sure to lock the door before he pulled me into a deep kiss, the kind that made my toes curl. I was nigh breathless when he finally pulled away, and he asked softly, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

I nodded. “Positive.”

 

His eyes flashed with something wicked as he murmured, “Good.” I didn’t even get a chance to ponder what he meant by that before he’d grabbed the jumpsuit I wore and ripped it in half, almost completely off of me. No matter how human he was to me, certain physical qualities still held true for Nick, and one of those was enhanced strength due to his mechanical skeleton underneath. I’d known that, of course, but to see it in action was just slightly terrifying. To now know how much he really held back during our intimate moments, that those gentle arms could also quite literally rip me apart if he chose to do so … again, slightly terrifying. But also, lying underneath, I found myself growing wet just over the raw power at his disposal. He manhandled me over to the table, setting me on it and pulling off my boots, tossing them to the side as he reached up and, with two swift motions, ripped my bra and my underwear off my body. There was an animalistic frenzy about him as our mouths connected, his tongue breeching my lips, claiming me in such a base way, in a way I never wanted anyone else to do but him. He lit a fire in my veins, his hips parting my thighs as his skin-covered hand wandered between them and lightly stroked over the lips, seeking and then pressing down on my clit. I wiggled my hips and whined, but he didn’t even make a move, not yet. He simply held it there, keeping the pressure constant so it would stimulate but not moving so that it would satisfy.

 

“Nick,” I whined, but he only growled in response, a sound that sent a shiver a pleasure down my spine. There was no rushing him. He would do what he wanted when he wanted and there would be no moving him, no convincing him of any other way but his own.

 

His teeth caught my lip, the pressure just this side of pleasurable, before he tugged and then let it go. His lips ghosted over my chin, nudging it out of the way so he had better access to my neck, the better to nibble and suck and lick to his heart’s content. His hand still didn’t move, not even as his mouth descended lower, catching first one breast and then the other before he laved his tongue down my stomach. Then and only then did he finally do something, moving his hand before he replaced it with his mouth. My jaw fell open as my head tilted back, a gasp escaping before it turned into a moan. His tongue slowly traced around my clit, painfully avoiding the very centre, teasing me as he worked me up. I rocked my hips as much as I could, as much as he’d let me with the way he gripped them, but it still wasn’t enough. I was now perpetually on the edge, getting just enough stimulation so I wouldn’t lose interest, but not enough traction to spur me on toward orgasm. It was frustrating, and as I panted and moaned while he rode the edge with me, my legs started to shake from the tension. He watched me, ever carefully, those yellow eyes boring into me until I was sure he’d stare a hole right through me.

 

With one final lick, he stood to his feet, wrapping my legs around his waist before he hauled me up off of the table and carried me into the bedroom. It took a lot more concentration than I would have thought just to hold on, my mind hazy and fuzzy from arousal. He deposited me on the bed before he quickly unbuttoned his own shirt, pulling it out of his pants before he pulled it off in one fell swoop along with his coat and tie. He tossed his hat over onto the chair as he unbuckled his pants, pushing them down as he stepped out of both them and his shoes.

 

I wasn’t amiss to what was going on. “Nick?” I asked, seeing him for the first time fully unclothed, nothing to hide behind, nothing to cover him. “Are you …?” I started to ask as he climbed up on the bed, “… is everything okay?”

 

He silenced me with a kiss, pushing me back down onto the bed as he lined himself up and then fully sheathed himself in one motion. His motions were rough, his hips snapping so hard against him I swore I’d wear bruises the next day. But I didn’t care, pulling him as close as I could get him, my hips rolling to meet his as he gripped me tightly. I was close already, from the earlier treatment, but just as I started to skirt the edge, he backed off, his strokes slower and slower until they practically stopped. He looked me in the eye, fixing me with a stare as he murmured, “I almost lost you.” He lowered his forehead to rest against my own as he added, “All this time I’ve wasted, all these moments I’ve had to be happy with when I can’t even be comfortable enough to be naked …”

 

I cupped his face, suddenly afraid he’d pushed himself too far, too fast. “Don’t do this to yourself, Nick.”

 

The detective shook his head. “I’m done with it. I’m tired of being ashamed, tired of my own head getting in the way. I just want to be happy, to be comfortable with you. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

 

Shaking my head, I murmured, “Of course it isn’t. But I don’t want you doing something you aren’t ready for yet.”

 

He chuckled. “Fuck being ready, doll, I _need_ this. When Nate took you, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again. I’m done with the bullshit. I just want to feel my own woman against me, skin to skin, and I’m not gonna let me stop myself again.”

 

Sealing his lips over mine, he sped up his pace once more, but this time it was different. Instead of the brutal, hard strokes, it was just deep, passionate, our bodies communicating everything that we wanted, everything that we needed. Our hands roamed, exploring each other almost like it was the first time, hands gripping and fingers digging in as we held on, both of us driving ever closer toward the edge. And this time, when we neared it, Nick didn’t keep up any pretences as we both were flung off the cliff, his hips stuttering before they stopped completely, his dick still buried within me even as it softened.

 

When we finally parted, Nick collapsed on the bed next to me, and I rolled over onto my side to face him. I reached out to trace the seams along his side, and I whispered, almost afraid, “You don’t regret this, do you?”

 

Turning his head so he could look at me, he offered me a smile in return. “For you? I regret nothing. Except perhaps that it’s taken this long for me to get to this point.”

 

I smiled gently as I leaned over and kissed him, touched that he felt he could bare himself completely. It wasn’t just some small thing, like it might be for others. For Nick it was the undeniable proof that he wasn’t quite the man his memories made him out to be. And while I couldn’t fix that, I was damn sure going to be there for him, supporting him and allowing him this vulnerable space. The circumstances of him doing so weren’t quite … ideal … but then again there was hardly a thing in this world that was. And so we took the bitter with the sweet and as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, I knew there was nowhere else in the entire Commonwealth - no, the entire _world_ \- that I’d rather be.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, was trying to get out some other stuff before Camp NaNoWriMo, and then I had other WIP fics that were even older that I had to take care of first. Hope you guys enjoy!

_They're written down in eternity,_

_But you'll never see the price it costs - the_

_Scars collected all their lives,_

_When everything's lost, they pick up their_

_Hearts and avenge defeat_

_Before it all starts, they suffer through harm_

_just to touch a dream ..._

 

_~~ "Legends Never Die", League of Legends, ft. Against The Current_

 

 

\-----------

 

Waiting was not quite my strong suit, but the few days we were afforded at least allowed me to recover more fully. Nick still kept a close eye on me, but I felt fine, just as good as I'd been before I was bitten, if not better. I had to hand it to Curie; as godawful as the disease had been, the cure was amazing, taking care of even a few accumulated aches and pains that I'd taken on since arriving in the Commonwealth. I wasn't sure exactly how that worked, but she had said it was broad spectrum. I guessed that spectrum was just a little bigger than I'd even thought it could be.

 

Speaking of Curie, she integrated into the settlement of Sanctuary quite well. More often than not, she could be found trailing after Duncan, fascinated by the little human. I supposed that out of the limited human interaction she'd had in the past, it was all with adults, and she hadn't the opportunity to interact with children. So having one so available, the scientist in her just couldn't resist. She did also play with and look after Mackenzie occasionally, but the little girl was still a little leery and stand-offish when it came to new things. Duncan, on the other hand, was fearless, as could be expected for MacCready's son. And poor RJ also got some respite here and there, which at Duncan's age was much needed. He was a good father, no doubt about that, but my assessment of Duncan being a little hell raiser was right on the money, and I could see where just being a merc out in the Commonwealth was easier than being a father. Which, the fact that he chose to settle in more with his son now that he had the chance, that just made me respect him even more. He still went out on a quick mission or two, went hunting to help supplement the food supplies of the settlement, but he never wandered far, not anymore.

 

I was hoping we wouldn't have to wait too long, and thankfully we didn't. Only a few days after I got back from the Institute, Charon came walking into Sanctuary, sans Ruby. Or, Delilah, as she was now known as over in Nuka World. I wasn't surprised to see him sauntering in on his own, as I figured Ruby and Deacon were busy taking care of things and presenting solid leadership to the groups of raiders. Honestly, it had been a great idea to include Ruby and Charon in on this, as it not only provided Deacon with backup that he knew he could count on, but it also made it easier to pass along a message, should they need to. After all, despite his stature and intimidating nature, Charon could easily blend in with the background if he needed to. No one really gave ghouls a second glance, and he was tough enough that should anyone chance to try something with him, they wouldn't walk away. He'd been one of the toughest available companions in Fallout 3 for a reason, between his training and his long years of experience in mercenary work, doing whatever he was told by whoever happened to hold his contract.

 

The message itself was simple enough. In five days, the gang leaders would all be meeting with Deacon and Ruby, ostensibly to discuss the state of the park – since most of the little parks had been taken care of and distributed – and also to plan for expansion into the Commonwealth. Of course, that expansion wasn't going to happen, and instead Deacon wanted to get the drop on them all. He'd drawn up a detailed map of the area and included where Minutemen, Railroad, and Brotherhood of Steel personnel could camp out at and wait for the signal, should it come. The signal, of course, being to wipe out one or more of the gangs. While this was happening, Deacon was going to lay out what was actually going on and offer the gangs a chance at a legitimate life. If they did, so much the better. If not, then their gang would be wiped out. The Operators, I suspected, may come peacefully if we offered them the means to make plenty of caps, as that was ultimately all they cared about. The Disciples I was expecting to go down fighting, considering their bloodthirsty and ruthless ways. The Pack could really go either way, it just depended on the rapport that had been built up and how Mason was approached. They could rebel at not being allowed slaves, or they could agree in order to protect their familial unit as we offered. Either way, in five days, it would be over, so now that Charon had given us the information, it was time to move.

 

After passing off the information to Danse, he signalled for a Vertibird to take him back to the Prydwen so he could relay the intel to the Brotherhood. Instead of his wastelander camo, he was decked out in his Brotherhood fatigues and power armour, armed to the teeth and ready to fight. He actually looked downright comfortable like that, like being a soldier was just what he was meant to be. I was happy that we'd been able to convince Arthur of his humanity so that he could be allowed to stay in the organisation that he'd fought and bled for. Despite what Arthur had been doing to the Brotherhood in recent years, somehow we'd gotten through to him, and he was now steering them back to be more in line with their stance in 3, with where Owyn Lyons had left them off at. They were the good guys once again. It had been a while, but it felt good to count them as allies.

 

Once Danse was on his way, I picked up Jane and Boone, and along with Nick, we stopped by the Mercer safe house to pass along the message to the Railroad. Runners promised to snatch the best agents they had and send them on the way, and they even assured me they'd stop by the Castle and utilise the new terminal to contact the Institute to let them know what was going on, in case we would need backup. I still had that pager on me, but if I needed something badly during this operation, I didn't want just Nate relaying to my position, I wanted coursers and a whole goddamn contingent of synths to come to my aid. So, the message to the Institute was pretty much that, that until further notice, my activating the pager signalled I needed heavy duty reinforcements.

 

When the Railroad was taken care of, we all made our way down to Sunshine Tidings, where a company of Minutemen were stationed, just ready and waiting for our command. They had been preparing for exactly this, waiting on the order to come, and now it was finally here. I practically felt giddy as I met with Keats and discussed the plan with him, going over the positioning and the signals and what to expect overall. The area surrounding Nuka World was tough enough to navigate, and since the only way to actually get there in game was to ride the monorail, I couldn't even tell them what to expect on the way other than outline the creatures they could expect to find and wish them luck.

 

As for my little core group, we had a special purpose. Instead of sneaking in and waiting for some covert signal, we were walking right in the front door, visitors courtesy of the Overboss. Our job was to assist with laying out the deal for the gang leaders and backing up Deacon and Ruby if one or more of them decided to reject it outright. As a result, I couldn't simply dress in my Vaultsuit, and so I donned a similar jumpsuit and jacket that Ruby had as a part of her disguise and Jane and Boone likewise covered up any NCR insignia in their regalia. As far as anyone knew, until we said otherwise, we were just associates come to visit. The plan was that we would come in the day of the meeting, just early enough so that we could meet up with Deacon and Ruby beforehand, but not too long so that we'd wear out our welcome and invite any kind of suspicion. Charon had offered to lead us in the day before, if we wanted, but we all ultimately decided it would be too big of a risk. The less time we gave people to question things, the better, as far as I was concerned. After all, this wasn't some simple cakewalk, this was a large park full of raiders we were walking into. Sure, we had the Minutemen and the Railroad and the Brotherhood – and the Institute, in a pinch – at our disposal, but up close we only had each other as backup, and if something went wrong, we could be long dead before help could even reach us. That was another reason that Deacon wanted us there in the meeting, to provide a level of intimidation that even he and Ruby couldn't provide. And while it unnerved me, the thought of facing down people like Mags and Mason and Nisha, I wasn't about to leave one of my favourite Railroad agents hanging.

 

The following days leading up to the meeting, we all felt a bit on edge, I think. Jane and Boone went out on their own several times to let out some of their tension, and whether they were shooting or fucking, I didn't know. Knowing the two of them, it was probably both. Even Charon seemed a little uptight being away from Ruby for so long, and I felt bad for the ghoul that we were the reason for the hold up. I tried to apologise, but he waved me off. "Don't. We stick to the plan. Ruby wouldn't have sent me if she didn't feel capable of handling shit without me."

 

He still sounded rather grumpy – well, more than usual, at least – and I prodded just a little more. "You aren't worried about her at all?"

 

Charon shot me a sidelong glance. "If Nick was stuck in a raider park, wouldn't you? Of course I'm worried. I know she can handle herself, but she's still human, and I'm still supposed to protect her."

 

I supposed that was that, as I couldn't really argue with that logic. So we continued to hang out at Sunshine Tidings, waiting until it was time to leave.

 

We set out early in the morning, well before the sun was even due to rise, to make sure we could make it to the monorail without incident and ride it into the park. According to Charon, the ride actually took a couple of hours or so between the station and the park itself, and I wondered if indeed Nuka World was mirroring the real life park of Six Flags New England in Agawam. There was, of course, no real way to tell beforehand if that was truly our destination or not, and the surrounding area around Nuka World had always reminded me more of the Capitol Wasteland instead of the Commonwealth, leading me to believe that wherever it was, it was definitely further south. Either way, at least we were riding in instead of walking like our backup had been forced to do, as who knew what dangers were lurking in between the Commonwealth and Nuka World.

 

The only dangers we encountered prior to getting to the station was a couple of packs of roving mongrels and a yao guai, both of which were dispatched with incredible ease between Charon and his special shotgun and the combined sharpshooting efforts of Jane and Boone. Nick and I barely even got a chance to get a shot off between us, and I suddenly got the feeling that we were potentially the safest people in the Commonwealth at the moment. As a result, I didn't even fear what we might find at the station, as in game whenever the player character arrived, there was a group of Gunners attempting to figure out where the radio signal was coming from. There was no such group for us, however, and I realised that Commander Kaylor may have already been killed in our assault on the Gunners earlier, thereby negating the team that would typically be found there. _Well, so much the better,_ I thought. _The less enemies, the better._

 

As expected, the actual ride in was a bit boring, overall. Nothing to really do, and not much to see in the wasteland. I wondered what it had been like pre-war, what the sights might have been like, what the land would have looked like. Hell, it might have been a regular forest tour for all I knew, but after the great war, everything was just a bombed out disaster. Nick and I settled down on one of the benches across from Charon – my head nestled on his shoulder – and Jane and Boone, as fidgety as ever, took up posts on either end of the car, keeping watch over any potential danger. There wasn't anything for us to worry about, of course, and it almost made me curious how the rail system had remained intact and functional after so long, especially after a fucking nuclear bomb had been detonated so close, but I figured the settlers who had originally moved into Nuka World had gotten it up and operational. It only made sense, as it helped connect the settlement to the Commonwealth, making travel easier both for the settlers and for any caravans and merchants wanting to trade. Unfortunately, it also made it easier for the raider gangs to arrive and take over.

 

But all of that was going to end today.

 

The sun had risen and was glistening over the park as we came in, the announcer still cheerfully giving us the overview even well over 200 years since its heyday. The programmed voice didn't know any better, of course, it simply carried on in its duty, wishing us a happy day as the rail car pulled into the station. Anxiety fluttered in my stomach as it came to a stop and the doors opened, like it finally registered that we were here and we were doing this. Planning from afar, it seemed simple enough, but now that we were here and in the thick of things, it became far more apparent the level of danger that we were placing ourselves in. Willingly! But I swallowed hard and tamped down the panic as we all followed Charon out and to a secret, hidden door that the raiders used to get in and out of the station without having to go through the gauntlet.

 

That was at least one thing I was glad we weren't going to have to face. Points to Deacon and Ruby and Charon for going through with it after I'd given them all the details.

 

I kept silent as we rounded the marketplace and made our way toward the Fizztop Grill. Settlers in slave collars rushed here and there, doing the bidding of the raiders who just milled about. They watched us – I could feel their eyes on us, even if some were more subtle than others – but since we were accompanied by Charon, they didn't make a move against us. No doubt Charon cut an imposing figure all by himself, but the raiders well knew his connection to the Overboss and would leave him alone, and therefore they wouldn't hassle anyone he was escorting. No, they would watch and they would observe, but make a move? They weren't that stupid. Still, the fact that we were heading into the heart of raider territory, no matter how protected we were at the moment, was unnerving, and I took great pains to not react to the violence and savagery surrounding me. Similarly, Nick and Jane and Boone remained passive as we walked on through and boarded the lift, and I supposed they were likely used to seeing such things up close. I was not, however, and I felt like I might be sick as Charon activated the lift and we made our way up to the Overboss' quarters.

 

Porter Gage wasn't present, and it was a good thing because I could resist the wide smile that crossed my face to see Deacon, even if he looked quite different than the last time I saw him. His face as far as shape didn't look terribly different, but he'd gained a nice scruff, several large scars, and currently sported a mohawk instead of being bald or wearing a pompadour wig. Of course, as a raider, he couldn't just wear his trademark sunglasses all the time, but in their place he wore welding goggles. _Always gotta hide those eyes, eh?_

 

Ruby was nigh unrecognisable, wearing a dark wig, dark face paint around her eyes, and smudged with dirt and radiation dust. She immediately embraced Charon upon our return and then threw a smirk in our direction. "Glad you see you all made it in one piece."

 

Quirking an eyebrow, I had to ask, "You didn't expect us to?"

 

She laughed as she replied, "Not with Charon with you. But he's still just one person."

 

Jane grunted. "Don't worry about us, we can get along just fine."

 

Ruby's eyes narrowed. "And just who are you two?"

 

I realised then that the Courier and the Lone Wanderer hadn't been properly introduced yet. Two important, pivotal people that had been at their peak of familiarity – if not outright infamy – within only a couple of years of each other. They'd missed the other simply because they were on opposite ends of the country. "Ruby, this is Jane, a Courier from the New Vegas area. Jane, this is Ruby ..."

 

Before I could finish, Ruby stepped up and finished for me, "Former Vault dweller, former Lyons' Pride soldier, Railroad agent, and current Overboss paramour. That last one is just for show."

 

The Courier eyed the Lone Wanderer. "Vault dweller, Lyons' Pride ... you from the Capitol?" When Ruby confirmed with a nod, Jane smirked coldly. "I think I've heard about you. Rumours and such, not much substantiated. But it seems you caused quite a terror within the Enclave. Arcade relayed much of it to me, but who knows how twisted it might have been by the time it got out west."

 

Ruby laughed. "What's that old saying? Believe only half of what you see, none of what you hear?" Setting a hand on her hip, she admitted, "I did end up breaking the East Coast Enclave. But only because I snuck through the entire facility with stealth boys and was rescued by this guy here and a super mutant with a gatling laser."

 

For possibly the first time since I'd met her, Jane offered a genuine smile, no sarcasm attached. "Gotta love the way they put legends on a pedestal."

 

Shrugging, Ruby offered, "It's a life. You don't really choose it, it just kinda happens. At least in my experience."

 

Jane outright laughed. "Honey, you should hear my own story sometime."

 

"Maybe after all of this is said and done, huh ladies?" Deacon interjected. "After all, we are still technically in hostile territory."

 

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Spoilsport," she muttered, but she didn't say anything more.

 

Deacon nodded to me. "Oracle, good to see you again. I see you brought a couple of sharpshooters along with you? Excellent, I have a couple of places to put them." Pulling out a map, he highlighted the meeting area, a place just outside the park proper. It was isolated, but there were a couple of vantage points that Jane and Boone could man, making sure that the meeting went smoothly and taking out any raider leader that got out of hand. In order to prevent any potential miscommunication, however, Deacon established hand signals, unique ones for each leader, so he could communicate with them on the fly which ones to target. If we had to, we didn't want to take out anyone who allied with us. _If_ any of them allied with us. Fingers crossed we could nab at least one, because that would make the next prospect that much easier.

 

Everyone was in agreement, as far as the plan went, and so we just had to kill a couple of hours until the meeting actually took place. Sitting down at the bar, Deacon and Ruby – or, rather, Moose and Delilah – made sure we had a meal, complete with a unique variation of Nuka Cola one could only get in the park.

 

"So," Deacon began as we all dug in. "You ready for this?"

 

I put on what I hoped was a reassuring smile as I replied, "As ready as I'll ever be."

 

Shaking his head, the spy saw right through me. "Don't worry, we have your back, and those two have ours. Just work your magic like you did with Dez. Hell, if you can convince Desdemona to ally with the Minutemen – and eventually the Institute and Brotherhood itself – then this will be a walk in the park. You already know what these gangs want, and you have the means to deliver. Just show them your hand, and show them they have nothing."

 

I nodded as I brought the bottle of Nuka Wild to my lips, somehow not feeling the least bit comforted by his words.


End file.
